"Dry Her Eyes"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I would like to thank DZ2 for allowing me to adopt his idea by this name. With that in mind, I decided to do the first chapter in my own style. This is dedicated to him and to all my fans – I love you all!
Chapter 1
Harry came back inside the castle from his walk. His head was clearer, but it was not to remain so for long …
"I think he has a lot more than friendship on his mind," he heard Ron say.
Oh, please, he thought. They have to be arguing about bloody Viktor Krum?
"And you don't think I can take care of myself?"
Don't answer that, Ron … please don't answer that …
"That's not the bloody point …"
What was the bloody point, then, Troll-Brain? Oy, my head … and she's crying … urge to hurt somebody … rising … rising …
"Ronald Bilius Weasley … unless you want me to humiliate you in public, I suggest you come with me now," he said in a quiet voice that held the threat of an oncoming storm.
"This isn't any of your business, Potter, so why don't you butt –"
SMACK! "WRONG ANSWER! For the record, this petty jealousy of yours is giving me a headache, so why shouldn't this be my business? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND, YOU BLOODY JAGOFF! One more word, and I will hit you again!"
"I'm telling Mother!"
SMACK! "Go ahead … tell Mummy dearest how your pettiness has run away any females within a ten mile radius, how you have ruined Hermione's night, how you have given me a bloody headache … if my anger grows any more, you will not live to see the next morning, can you get that through that shriveled walnut you call a brain?!"
"How dare you insult and threaten me!"
SMACK! "Do you think I enjoy hitting you? Now that I think about it, I enjoy hitting you so much, I'm going to hit you again!" SMACK! "Get out of my sight, Weasel … or I will beat your ass to death and owl your head home to your Banshee Bitch of a Mother in a box! I will give you a countdown of ten. TEN …"
Ron paled. "You can't …"
"Countdown's ticking, Weasel … NINE …"
Sensing Harry's sincerity, Ron bolted out of the Great Hall as fast as his legs would take him.
Harry looked at Hermione. "Are you okay?"
"What about you, Harry? Your explosion of anger sent you into a merry slap fest, and you're asking if I'm okay?"
"I asked you first, and I'm feeling better than I have in ages."
"Well … at least I'm not crying anymore …"
He reached his hand out to dry her eyes. "Don't waste any tears on that jagoff. He's not worth it."
"I thought you or Ron would have asked me to the Yule Ball. It disappointed me that by the time either one of you thought to ask me, it was too late … and Ron's obvious jealousy was too much."
"At least, we can be grateful that Viktor has been a gentleman to you all this time … isn't that right, Viktor?"
Viktor nodded. "Da, Harry. I would not dream of harming someone so close to you, since I have come to respect you since your face-off with that mother dragon in the First Task." He saw Harry's eyebrows rise. "I vill add that vitnessing your temper gives me an additional reason not to anger you."
"I would agree with that sentiment, Viktor," said Cedric. "Harry has faced a Dark Lord, a Mountain Troll, a Basilisk, and a host of Dementors, plus the dragon – and he's lived to tell the tale. If anything comes after Hermione though …" he shivered at the thought, "he will do whatever he feels necessary, and may Heaven have mercy on whatever stands in his way, because he won't."
"Tout ce temps," said Fleur, "j'ai pensé que ces histoires étaient de légendes. Harry, je suis désolée pour ma faute. Tu n'es plus un petit garçon après tout, n'est-ce pas? Non, tu es un homme … et Hermione est chanceuse de t'avoir." (All this time, I thought that those stories were legends. Harry, I am sorry for my mistake. You are no longer a little boy after all, right? No, you are a man, and Hermione is lucky to have you.)
"Merci," (Thank you) said Harry.
Hermione looked at him in shock. "Harry, when did you learn to speak French?"
"Well, Hermione, when you have relatives that are scared to death of you, you find a lot of time for extra-curricular studies. That, and –" he leaned by her ear, "– my Southern region speaks to me a lot in that language, if you catch my drift."
She blushed.
"Hermione, may I have this dance?"
A guitar sounded in the Great Hall. "Esta noche bailamos … te doy toda mi vida … quédate conmigo …" (Tonight we dance … I give you all my life … stay with me …)
The both of them danced to the song "Bailamos" by Enrique Iglesias. Everyone else watched in wonder at their two bodies spinning around the dance floor, giving off an aura of passion and fitting together like Heaven had made each for the other.
When the song finished, they received a standing ovation with catcalls and whistles.
~DRY HER EYES~
Harry cleared his throat, and sang: [tune: "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders" by Homer Simpson; episode: "Dude, Where's My Ranch?"]
"Everybody in Hogwarts, UK, hates this ginger jagoff,
Ron Weasley, who is Happiness's Bane!
Weasley tried to wreck our night,
His head is screwed on way too tight –
He's such a jerk, and Troll Brain is his name!
The Hogwarts students sang:
"W-E-A-S-L-E-Y!"
Harry sang:
"He makes Hermione want to cry;
I wish this Troll Brained bastard would just die!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"W-E-A –"
Harry said:
"HE'S A BIG PRICK!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"S-L-Y –"
Harry sang:
"I would like to kick
His arse into the deepest of ravines!"
Professor Snape sang:
"I think he was spoiled by his Mother,
In one ear and out the other,
In spite of having smart brothers,
He's the laziest – of all students – that we've seen!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"W-E-A –"
Draco Malfoy said:
"RON WEASEL-BEE!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"S-L-Y –"
Harry sang:
"Jealous of me?
I can't believe his great stupidity!"
Professor Snape sang:
"Hogwarts shakes with Potter's thund'rous hatred,
And it wants – to see Troll Brain Weasley go,
Everyone's up out of their seat –
To hate Troll Brain to the thund'rous beat –"
Harry joined him, singing:
"He's the stupidest of all the people we know!"
Harry, Neville, Dean and Seamus sang:
"If you despise arse-headed No Brains, then I doubt you'll like the Troll Brain,
Or his Brown Nosed Brother, Percy the Great Prat!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"W-E-A –"
Hermione said:
"THE JAGOFF JERK!"
The Hogwarts students sang:
"S-LY –"
Professor McGonagall said:
"HE SLAGS OFF WORK!"
Everyone finished the song:
"He's Troll Brain Weasley, Whiniest of Brats!"
"HARRY POTTER! On my honor as a Weasley, you have gone too far this time!" said a red-faced Percy Weasley. He drew his wand, but much to his shock, he saw every other wand pointed at him.
Harry had not drawn his wand, however; instead, he moseyed over to the punch bowl and drew himself some punch in a glass.
"Oh, Percy, I forgot that you were here! Well, I don't doubt the Weasley Family had honor once upon a time, and it may be that it has some at the present time; on the other hand, as for the honor you and your Troll Brained brother have –"
"I WILL NOT STAND TO HAVE SOME HALF-BLOOD, SON OF A MUDBLOOD UPSTART QUESTION MY HONOR!"
The occupants in the Great Hall drew their collective breath, fearful that Percy had called down the thunderstorm – nobody used that M-word in Harry's presence without expecting severe retribution. Much to their shock, Harry chuckled at the insult, moseyed over to Percy with his glass, and said:
"Why, Percy … I'm not questioning your honor … I'm denying its existence … and you will stand there and listen until I say otherwise. I have to admit, listening to you talk is thirsty work. If I have to listen to any more words come out of your annoying little mouth, I'm afraid I may drink the rest of the punch that we have here in the Great Hall." He drank the punch. "Aaaah … that's good punch ..." He then broke the glass in Percy's face, and the arrogant prat fell with a scream. Not satisfied with that level of pain, Harry started to kick him.
"WHERE'S MY MONEY, PERCY?! ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME MY MONEY, YOU GREEDY, BROWN-NOSING PRAT?! ARE YOU GETTING RICH OFF MY VAULT, PERCY?! WHERE'S MY BLOODY MONEY?! ARE YOU SO ARROGANT TO THINK THAT YOUR FAMILY COULD STEAL FROM MY VAULT WITHOUT ME FINDING OUT ABOUT IT?!"
"Why … should I … tell … you … anything?"
"Well, you should tell me because I want some answers, Percy. That's a fine robe you're wearing … did you buy it with my money? Maybe I should rip it off you …"
He did so, but he didn't stop with the robe; he stripped Percy down to his underwear. "As for your Mudblood comment …" he stamped on Percy's nose with a CRACK!
"THAT'S FOR MY MOTHER! AND THIS –" he stamped on Percy's groin, prompting another scream of pain, "– IS FOR HERMIONE!"
Percy coughed and wheezed as he felt the pain consume his body. "I'm … telling … Mother …"
Harry grinned at him like he didn't care. "You sound like Ron's broken record, you realize that? Well, guess what? I want you to tell her … moreover, I would like you to send a message to her for me …"
"What … message?"
Harry flipped him into a prone position. "Don't worry, Percy … I promise you this will hurt a lot!" He pointed his wand and burned a few words onto Percy's back, (said prat screaming all the while), then he cooled them so they solidified. "Run home, little prat … if you can!"
Percy struggled to his feet. "I … won't … forget … this …"
Harry's glare chilled him. "I hope you won't. Get out of my sight."
As Percy stumbled out of the Great Hall, Harry looked at everyone else. "Well?"
"You know you are scary, right, Potter?" said Draco.
Harry smirked back at him and raised an eyebrow. "Now you know, Malfoy. Be grateful that I didn't hurt you back in our second year."
Draco gulped, prompting a sharklike smile from Harry. He didn't need to tell the other Slytherins, but the message was clear, even to the Pureblood bigots who were pissing themselves: Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were off limits. Anyone who dared mess with them was signing his own death warrant.
As the couple left the Great Hall, Professor Flitwick said, "Messieurs Weasley, I believe I have a bet to collect."
Fred and George brought out their little black book. "What do you know, George? Professor Flitwick has won the bet."
"Was there any doubt in our minds that they would become a couple one day?"
"Not at all, dear brother of mine; the sole question was WHEN they would become a couple."
~DRY HER EYES~
"Harry, I'm curious," said Hermione as she and Harry were coming into the Gryffindor common room later in the night. "Did you have to be so violent to Ron and Percy?"
"Do you want an apology from me to them, Hermione? I'm not giving them one; they deserved my anger. Ron was making you cry and Percy was threatening me. I am nobody's doormat, you understand? I'm tired of having to tolerate others who are my intellectual inferiors; they don't understand me, not like you do. In intelligence, they are a mere three years old, while we are the grown-ups. And, like grown-ups, guess what we can do?"
"Hmmm … I should know this one … shag?"
Harry snorted. "That was not the answer I was looking for … but I like the way you think."
She frowned. "What's wrong, Harry? Don't you find me attractive? I know I'm an unattractive bookworm …"
Harry's eyes flashed at her and he growled. "Hermione Jean Granger, don't you EVER call yourself unattractive again, do you understand? In intellectual capacity and looks, you shine like a goddess among the rest of this school, and any male here would be lucky to have you as his girlfriend. With that being said, will you –"
"YES!" She leaped on him and kissed him. After separating, she said to him, "I'm sorry – you were saying?"
"The question was, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Again, yes. Together, we can rule this pack of intellectual toddlers, I'm sure."
Harry grinned. "That was the answer I was looking for."
"Your power and my brains – imagine all the possibilities!"
There was a madman's chuckle in the air, and a chilling breeze blew through the Tower. Out of the breeze came a tall, pale-faced man with black hair. He grinned at the couple.
"Oh, Harry … I like this one … a perfect match to your mischievous ways … am I right, or am I right?"
Harry tilted his head sideways; something about this stranger seemed familiar. "If I may be so curious, who are you, sir?"
"Are you wondering how I seem so familiar, Harry? Can't figure it out? Well, I am Loki Odinson of Asgard … and I am your Father …"
The shock of the revelation overwhelmed Harry, and he fainted into Hermione's arms.
The Trickster grinned. "Huh. He seems to have taken it well. Why don't you come with us, Hermione? We will have much to discuss. Hold onto Harry and take my hand."
They disappeared and re-appeared in the Forbidden Forest. "Keep holding onto us, Hermione. Heimdall? You can open the Bifrost now!"
The three disappeared in a rainbow light …
Author's Note: Well, that was a fun starting chapter. Read and review!
Smiles and laughter,
Loki Palmer
P.S.,
This time, it's Loki Odinson/Laufeyson (as played by Tom Hiddleston) who is Harry's Father. This looks like fun, doesn't it?