I'm just gonna skip to the story! I'm so glad you all like it though! Oh, I just remembered. I should probably tell you this so you won't think I'm mean: If you send me a review, I try to send you a private message. If you send me a private message, however, I probably won't get it for a while because my email that they're sent to is at my dad's, and I'm only at my dad's every other weekend. So If you get a p.m. from me, it's because I'm thanking you for the review, or some othere reason. Not because you sent me one. I'll only send one for that reason every two weeks. I really need to switch email addresses on my account, but whatever, I'll do it later. lol.
Oh, and the monkey of death thing? Yeah, I know it's lame. But hey, it's Cosmo. His mind works in fasinating ways.hehe.Ok, anyway...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters or the show of The Fairly Odd Parents.
Timmy was awakened by the sun. It was streaming through his windows, right in his face. He lifted himself up with an unnecessary grunt and looked around. 'Why am I on the floor?' he thought. Almost immediately, the events of yesterday flooded his mind. Had that seriously happened? He rubbed his head, and grimaced as he touched a particularly tender spot, sore from how he'd been yanking his hair.
Yep, it had definitely happened.
So why did he feel so calm?
Forcing himself to stand up in his slightly woozy state, he glanced at his fishbowl. Cosmo and Wanda swam out of the small plastic castle, and disappeared, reappearing above him as fairys instead of fish. He looked at them.
"Good morning, Timmy!" Cosmo and Wanda chirped cherrily. They were greeted with a groggy mumble, something along the lines of,"Uhh,yeah...mmmm..."
Wanda simply smiled, "Oh, sweetie, you may feel that way now---"
"What?" Cosmo interrupted, "you actually understood him?" Wanda rolled her eyes and contined,"But turst me, you're going to be a very happy person today." She added the words,"I hope" under her breath.
Timmy went into the bathroom, and splashed his face with water. After repeating this process a few times, he was more awake. He stared at himself in the mirror. Had he really said that he loved Tootie? Had he meant it? He decided to find out. He stared at his reflection, square in the eyes and once again spoke. " I love Tootie."
The blush that crept onto his face gave him his answer. He smiled. Why couldn't he admit it before? He sighed and quickly got ready, evading all thoughts from his mind.
He didn't want to think about how stupid he was, how foolish he had been. He could see Trixie, his "true love" from a mile away, but couldn't see Tootie,his real love when she was right under his nose. But now he could see her. And it was too late.
The image of Tootie stabbing herself kept flashing through his mind. And her voice from when they were in the fairyworld graveyard still ran though his ears.
You did this! It's your fault! I hate you!
Timmy groaned. If he could give his own life just to see her again, that's what he'd do. He sighed as she danced around in his mind. He could see her now:
She was twirling in circles, her long black hair flying around her face, her crystal purple eyes gleaming. Her full lips formed the words, "I love you!" and she giggled, her sweet voice like a song as she blushed at what she said. She was tugging shyly at the bottom of her blue shirt, which showed off her soft curves, along with her dark blue jeans. Her feet were bare, concealed by the clouds she stood on.
Timmy shook his head to snap himself out of his trance. "I wish she was still alive." he whispered. "I want another chance."
But he knew it wasn't happening. He finished getting dressed, and ran downstairs. His godparents were there. Cosmo had apparently done something stupid again, because Wanda was yelling at him. Timmy ran past them, out the door, and ran down the street.
He missed Tootie so much. He knew he loved her. Why hadn't he taken a chance? Why was he so blinded by Trixie? He couldn't even remember why he thought she was so special now that he thought about it. But it didn't matter. He just wanded to see Tootie. He wanted to hold her, to hug her, kiss her. He turned and crossed the street. He heard the sound of tires screech, and a man yelling at him.He just shook his head.
Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. Tootie. With every running step he took, that he took, that was the thought that was on his mind. It pushed him forward, even though his legs wanted to stop. Finally, he stopped, reaching his destination. He smiled, and stared at the house. It was Tootie's house.
His godparents, disguised as birds flew down and landed on the steps by the front door of the Milano residence. He looked at his godparents. "I wish the door was unlocked."
Wanda waved her wand," You know, you could've just wished yourself inside the house." Timmy shrugged and opened the door. He had astrange feeling inside of him. Something was different. He felt like Tootie ws back. And he knew exactly where to look. He ran across the living room and dashed up the stairs, taking two at a time. He nearly slammed into the wall as he reached the top step and turned to the left. At the end of the hallway was Tootie's room.
"Tootie!" he called out, excitedly, "Tootie! " He opened the door to her room, "Tootie, I---" he stopped dead in his tracks. Her room was empty. Her belongings were there, but she wasn't. He walked into her room and turned in a full circle. Pictures of him hung on the wall. He felt a pang of guilt for each photo he saw. He noticed a door on the other side of her room. A smile appeared on his face as he walked over to it. He grabbed the doorknob, and looked at Wanda and Cosmo. They stared at him expectantly.
"Well, this is it. She's either in the closet, or she's..." he felt his stomach twist at the thought. He opened the door. She wasn't in there. His blood ran cold. This wasn't a closet. It was a bathroom. In fact, it looked like the same bathroom that Tootie had destroyed her existence in. He remembered where he had seen it: in the time portal when he was on histime scooter
Timmy stared at the bathroom. Everything was white. Images started to flash again. He stared at the sink.
Tootie cut herself again and let her blood slide down the sides of the white sink, and drip down the drain.
His eyes shifted over to the tub.
Tootie leaned against it, sobbing uncontrollably. Black streaks covered her red face, and her voice sang a song of pure agonizing hatred.
He could feel his breathing quicken. His heart banged against his rib cage as he saw the events flash before his eyes again. HE quickly pulled the door shut, and it slammed loudly. He stared at the white door, unable to move. Tears started to form in his eyes. Tootie wasn't back. She was gone. He shut his eyes and cried quietly. He didn't get it. He had admitted that Tootie's death was her fault, he admitted that he loved her, and she still wasn't back? Jorgen's words entered his mind.
You must come to a realization...
And suddenly, Timmy knew what the realization was.
"Even though Tootie is still gone, I can still love her. It's all my fault, but I can't let it destroy me too..." his voice broke and heleaned his head against the door, sobbing.
Tootie could never come back. She probably never would. It would be a long time beofre he saw her again. He just knew it. But at the same time, it was ok. It was almost as if she was with him. But that wouldn't take away the tears and the pain.
He tried so hard not to cry, but he couldn't help it. In the midst of his heavy sobbing, he managed to say, "I wish I were back home." He couldn't bear to be in Tootie's room, or even her house anymore. Her room was a cruel reminder that he was nothing but the cause of her death. He opened his eyes; he was still in Tootie's room.
Maybe Wanda hadn't heard him. He looked around, noticing that Cosmo and his counterpart weren't even in the room anymore. He sighed. He'd been getting left a lot lately. First, Tootie left, and now his godparents were gone. Where were they? He sighed irritably when he heard a loud clatter come from downstairs in the kitchen. "It only figures that Cosmo would be hungry at a time like this." he muttered, wiping tears from his eyes. Sometimes he wondered how someone smart like Wanda ended up marrying an idiot like Cosmo.
He left Tootie's room, tears falling from his eyes. Slowly, he descended the stairs. He didn't want to leave her house too quickly. Finally, he reached the kitchen. He saw nobody.
"Great!" he said out loud to nobody,"Now I'm imagining things!" he let out a puff of air in an exasperated manner. Staring at the ceiling, he spoke again, "Tootie, why did you do this? Why? I miss you so much. Can't you come back somehow?" he stared at his feet.
"Only if you really mean it."
Timmy looked up. He swore he heard Tootie. He looked up at the ceiling confused. Then, he turned around. Tootie was sitting on the sofa in the living room. Her hair was disheveled, and she was wearing the outfit she'd been wearing on the day she killed herself. But she didn't have a scratch on her. She did have the knife in her hand, though.
Timmy stared at her in disbelief. He was convinced that he wasn't really seeing her. But at the same time,he felt his heart flip. He knew she was here. Slowly, Timmy walked over to her. Tootie stood up, as if she was going to attack him. Timmy slowly reached out, and took the knife from her. He placed it on the coffee table. "Are you really here?" he finally said.
Tootie glared at him. "Well, duh. I'm not a ghost." Timmy reached out to touch her, just to make sure she wasn't. He could feel her soft skin when he made contact. She was alive!
"Tootie!" he jumped, and smiled happily. "You're back! You're alive! I missed you so much! I was miserable." He reached forward to hug her, and she backed up, a confused look on her face. She still looked angry. Timmy's smile faded.
"Tootie?"
"What!" she snapped back. Timmy was taken aback by the way she responded. "Tootie, what were you going to do with that knife?"
"It doesn't matter." she stared straight into his eyes, yet it wasn't comforting. Not at all. He felt a little scared in turn.
"You were...you were going to kill yourself?"
Tootie looked away. Timmy felt confused. Tootie had already killed herself. Yet, here she was, alive, and about to kill herself again. And when he had said he was glad she was alive, she looked confused. It was as if it hadn't even happened yet. But how? He hadn't gone back in time. He felt confused, but didn't worry about it. He looked at Tootie.
"Why?" he already knew the answer.
"Oh, why do you care!" she snapped.
"Tootie, I--" he reached out to touch her shoulder. Tootie hit his arm and shoved him away."You know you don't care! So why are you even asking?"
That didn't stop her from telling him anyway. She paced back and forth in front of Timmy. It reminded him of how his parents would do the same if he broke his cerfew.
"I liked you so much when we were younger. And now, I love you! I put everything on the line to tell you how I feel. I don't care if the whole school laughs or teases me!" her face was redwith anger. She shot him a withering look as she continued yelling angrily,"And then you scream at me! If you didn't like me, you--you were such a jerk---I couldn't---It was---" she sat down on the couch. Her look of anger was replaced with one so familiar that it made Timmy's heart beat harshly. She looked at him with watery eyes, and gasped to hold back a sob that was rising in her throat. Her voice was breaking, "You hurt me."
She placed her face in her hands and started crying. Timmy stared at her, his mouth open. He had never realized that each rejection had hurt her. Cosmo's banana comparison came back to mind:
If nobody eats the banana, soon it gets more and more brown spots. They might not seem like a big deal, but after a while, that banana is covered in them. And when the person finally tries to eat the banana, it's covered in brown spots and only good for the "monkey of death".
Timmy grimaced. Each rejection he gave her had impacted her. Even though it never seemed like it. And finally, all those rejections took her over the edge. They were the brown spots in her life. He knew he had to show her love before she killed herself again.
He sat down next to her, and sighed, "Tootie, I...I don't hate you. I like you." she ignored him and continued crying. He kept going. "I love you."
Tootie lifted her head and stared straight into his eyes. Her expression went from sad to cold and angry again.
"Well, you're too late." she stood up, and Timmy followed her lead.
"What!" he cried out.
"You always took advantage of me! You ignored me! You acted like you couldn't stand me!" She glared at him with hatred. Timmy then realized that he'd never understand the depth of her pain.
"Tootie, I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"
"I DON'T CARE!" she screamed. Timmy took a few steps back. Tootie had never screamed in her life. She raised her fist, and brought it back down. "I never want to see you again! I HATE YOU!" she grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the door, ignoring his protests.
"Tootie, no! Please! Listen!" he tried to convince her as she shoved him out of the house. He turned to stare at the angry figure in the doorway. "Please, please listen to me."
Her voice was full of hatred,"I've already heard enough from you to last forever."
Timmy was speechless and defeated. And there was nothing he could do but watch with an agony-filled heart as she slammed the door in his face.
To be continued. Man, this story is just full of twists, isn't it? lol. Well, review if you can. I'd appreciate it.