"Dry Her Eyes"

By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The Avengers belong to Marvel Comics.

The 94th River II: It was Game of Thrones' Robin Arryn I was referring to that drank breast milk even up to 10, not Ron! LOL! Although, my original point remains … though their respective Mothers didn't spoil them in the same manner, they are still spoiled, whiny brats who can't stand it when matters don't go their way. Then again, a spoiled whiny brat is a great description of Joffrey "The Bastard King" Lannister. If you like Game of Thrones, check out my Harry Potter/Game of Thrones crossover, "Hereweald Stearc: Forman His Naman."

Sakura Lisel: Would you have preferred I type out the dialogue within Asgard in the language of Old Norse (even with subtitles)? The main ancient languages I know how to write in are Ancient Greek, Latin, Chinese, and a smattering of Anglo-Saxon.

DZ2: Yeah, I put in a Bugs Bunny reference. Let's face it, Harry does share his mischievous nature … [wink, wink]. I want to add in a "Ferret Season/Weasel Season" argument somewhere, but, though it would be hilarious, I don't know if it will be in this fanfic.

DragonTamer01: I don't remember Bugs ever saying, "Your ass is grass." In fact, I don't remember him using such vulgar language … he's a cartoon character for kids, after all … but I do remember a similar quote from Duke Nukem, and it might be him you're thinking of: "Your ass is grass, and I'm the weed whacker!"

Chapter 4

Out at the Avengers Tower in New York City, Tony Stark was sitting back with Steve Rogers, Dr. Banner, Clint Barton, and Natasha Romanoff when Jarvis spoke up.

"A snowy owl is here to see you, sir. It looks like you have mail."

"Let her in, Jarvis."

"Of course, sir."

With a hoot, Hedwig flew in to land on Tony's shoulder.

"Hey, Hedwig. Did you miss me?"

Hedwig tilted her head as if to say, "What do you think, Tony?"

Tony took the letter off of her. "It's good to see you. Fly up to the bar there and Dr. Banner can get you some water."

She butted his head and flew to the bar.

"She's beautiful," said Natasha.

Steve took a deep breath. "I've heard of pigeons being used to carry letters, but owls? Aren't owls supposed to be out at night?"

Dr. Banner nodded. "Yes, owls are nocturnal creatures, Cap, but these owls, like Hedwig here, have to be an anomaly within the Strigiformes order … why the Wizarding World picked owls as their mail birds is beyond me."

Steve looked to Tony for a translation. "He means they are an odd breed of owls … these post owls, for lack of a better term. Perhaps their nocturnal activity makes them, and their postal activities, easier to hide from Muggles."

"That may be it, although I don't doubt they fly in the daytime as well – else, how would they make sure the letter arrives with a better record than the U.S. Postal Service?"

At that, Hedwig fluffed her chest out with pride. "Yeah, the U.S. Postal Service has nothing on us – it can kiss our feathered backsides! When you have to get your letter or package where it's going in a hurry, call a Hogwarts Post Owl!"

"Well, Hedwig, if you need to rest up from your flight, you know where the rest area is."

With another affectionate hoot, Hedwig flew off as Steve watched her in amazement.

"Post owls, Tony – that's such a quaint idea!"

Tony raised his eyebrows. "I'm hearing a word like quaint from a young veteran of World War II like yourself, Cap?"

"Touché. Who sent the letter?"

Tony opened the letter and smiled. "It's from Hermione Granger, Hogwarts' Resident Genius."

Dr. Banner leaped to his feet and ran to Tony's side to read the letter. He chuckled. "What do you know? Harry Potter is her boyfriend … good for her. Whoa ..." he read about the threats to Ron and the beating of Percy, "... he's got quite the temper."

"Nothing The Other Guy can't handle, right?"

"Well, Tony, it looks to me like he and The Other Guy have a lot in common."

"Don't make him angry, in other words."

Dr. Banner nodded.

"So she's asking us if we would like to come and meet him?" said Clint.

Tony nodded. "Who knows, Harry could use some help. Jarvis, have you finished etching those runes we received from the American Ministry's M-W division onto the Avengers jet and the Iron Man suit?"

"Yes, sir; all that remains is to test them against the ancient wards of Hogwarts."

"Hold on, Tony; did you know all this time that we will be heading out to Hogwarts?"

"No, I didn't, Cap, but a soldier like you can't deny that preparation helps."

"Good point. Alright, everyone, let's suit up! Oh, Dr. Banner … can The Other Guy try not to make a mess out there?"

Dr. Banner shrugged. "Sorry, Cap, but I can't make any promises on that."

~DRY HER EYES~

"Harry, I have to admit – I'm scared for you. This Triwizard Tournament tests people in the cruelest ways possible. Even if we consider that you now know who you are, who knows if it will be enough?"

"Hermione, with you, I'm sure I can get through anything this crazy world throws at me."

"Did you figure out the egg clue yet?"

"No such luck ..."

"OY, HARRY! HERMIONE! Enjoying some fresh air, are we?"

"Hey, Cedric," they said.

"I realized I never thanked you for tipping me off about the dragons."

"I'm sure you would have done the same if you knew and I didn't."

Cedric grinned. "Yeah, I would have done the same. About the egg – have you tried the Prefect's Bathroom?"

"Cedric, I'm not a Prefect."

"Well, the password is Pine Fresh, and between the three of us … it's an awesome place for a bath. Take your egg with you, and don't do anything Cho and I wouldn't do … giggity ..." He winked at them as he walked away.

"Lucky bastard ..."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "What would you mean, Harry?"

"I mean, I'm a lucky bastard."

She laughed. "Oh, Harry, you are no bastard … but you may get lucky tonight ..."

"Giggity, giggity, giggity, OH! Alright ..."

~DRY HER EYES~

"Whoa … that is a huge bathtub."

"So, Harry … did you remember swimming trunks?"

"When was the last time you saw me swimming in the Lake, Hermione?"

"Ah … good point. So you don't have swimming trunks?" Harry shook his head. "Bummer … well, it's not right that I should have on a bikini while you have nothing on but the radio, right?"

"Hermione, you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"I know that, and thank you, Harry … you are ever the gentleman … but relax. I'm comfortable enough to be in my birthday suit … and why shouldn't I around my boyfriend?"

"You mean …?"

"Yes, Harry. Go ahead and hop in the tub." As she watched Harry strip, she whistled. "Quidditch has done wonders for your tuchas, Harry!"

The sensation of her body rubbing against his as they kissed was heavenly. "DOWN, BOY, DOWN!"

His Southern region cackled like an insane clown. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"I take it somebody is happy to see me," she said with a knowing wink.

"You have no idea what it feels like to have him pop up at the most inopportune time, Hermione."

"Are you saying this is an inopportune time?"

"We have the egg to figure out, remember?"

She blushed. "Oh, right! Sorry – I became distracted for a moment."

"Hold the presses! You became distracted?"

She crossed her arms over her boobs – those magnificent boobs belong to a goddess, he thought; the gods could not have fashioned a more perfect pair: not too big, not too small, just the right size – and said, "Well, I must admit, your naked body does provide a wonderful distraction for me, as mine distracts you, I'm sure."

"Maybe this was a bad idea ..."

"Oh, just get the egg in here!"

Harry brought it over and opened it. The same screeching sounded out as before.

"Why don't you try putting it under the water, Harry?" said a new voice.

"Hey, Myrtle! Long time no see!"

"Oh, you're here too, Hermione? Up to some naughtiness, aren't we?"

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "What business is that of yours?"

"I guess it's not my business, Hermione … but a girl can get lonely … even a dead one like myself ..."

Harry ducked underwater and listened to the clue. It took him several tries to memorize the song.

"Come seek us where our voices sound … Myrtle, it sounds like the next task is underwater!"

Myrtle clapped her hands. "Good for you, Harry! It took Cedric a long time to figure out the clue … he was there until the bubbles … were … all … gone ..."

"By the Nine Realms, is she rubbing against me?"

"Gods, that's cold! ABORT! ABORT!"

"RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

"Harry, wait!" said Hermione as she saw him bolt out. "You forgot your –"

SLAM!

"– clothes." She glared at Myrtle. "I hope you are happy with yourself."

"Is a little loving too much to ask, Hermione?"

Hermione did not answer, but as she picked up Harry's clothes, she thought, "Harry and I could have had a lot more fun after we figured out the egg clue, were it not for that blasted horny ghost ..."

Author's Note: Another fun chapter done. Read and review!

Smiles and laughter,

Loki Palmer

P.S.,

I have posted up that poll. My suggestion is that you read over each one of the options before making your decision which to vote for. Thank you.