Chapter Thirty Eight

Summer soon trotted off in order to calm her father's sensitive nerves. With a long kiss goodbye, Summer was off. The night went by with sweet dreams, worriless movements and soft humming of the night wind. Soon, soft golden rays penetrated the room's darkness, and Seth's eyes flinched open. At the same time Ryan woke up. Ryan got out of bed, as he stretched out his hands above his head. As he yawned, he trudged over to the bathroom where he practised his morning routine. When it was time to leave the house, Ryan walked over to the house and he hollered for Seth- who was as usual, terribly late. Seth came scurrying down the stairs, with his knapsack wrapped around sloppily around one shoulder, and his shoes untied. What a sight. Ryan grinned as he saw the mess of a friend- it looked as though 3 tornados passed through him, not forgetting a lightning bolt and a torpedo. His hair was messy and undone. He flashed a smile to Ryan, as he jolted towards his breakfast. With a large lump filling his mouth, Seth was prepared to leave.

"Summer?" Ryan said slowly- that was all he had to say. He coveted that Seth would realise he looked like a homeless man on the road that had to endure multiple beatings, natural disasters, and life's own disaster. Ryan nodded, as Seth gave him a shocked look. Seth darted to check himself out in the mirror. He almost gasped, and fell over when he saw his reflection. Seth sent an apologetic look to Ryan, as he told him through this quick glance that they were going to be late. Ryan crossed his arms, as he tapped his foot. He smiled, as he saw Seth's panicked face skipping steps at a time to get to his sanctuary. He needed something that would make himself look good. Anything. Seth slapped on some gel, as he massaged it in his hair. He washed his face multiple times, as he straightened out his outfit. Then, when he glanced in the mirror, he didn't look dead.

As Ryan and Seth droned toward the jail cell- more commonly known as school- Ryan couldn't help but mock the tragedy his friend had become. Seth decided to ignore the nuisance he did not need, as he had much to do, one of which see his darling Summer. After a magical night, she seemed to escape and Seth did not even remember when. It was possibly just too late for his mind to function properly.

They finally arrived at school. Same people were smoking the same crap, proudly, outside the school. As they did everyday, they ignored the crack heads, as they advanced to the two prettiest girls in school. Summer smiled at Seth when he put his arm around her. Marissa walked with Ryan awkwardly- the way they left off that previous night seemed to be in effect. Summer and Seth seemed to babble endlessly, but the awkwardness between Marissa and Ryan was overwhelming. Marissa didn't want to be the one to say anything- but she couldn't stand the horrendous silence.

"Ryan," Ryan looked up hopefully, but when he saw the look on his girlfriend's face, his heart sank. "Don't you think we need to talk?"

"Talk? What about?" Ryan asked dumbly. But he knew inside that that would not be enough to keep a safe distance away from 'the talk'.

"Possibly, about us?" Marissa suggested quietly, so that Summer and Seth could not hear- so they could continue on with their innocent love. Ryan and Marissa walked off to a corner, where two very bland walls met. When both she, and Ryan settled down, Marissa started to talk, "Ever since the experience between you and Teresa, things have been a little weird. Don't get me wrong- I forgave you and all, but you know, it's just unacceptable considering how complicated something so simple is. Do you think we should take a break?" At the mention of Teresa, Ryan almost blew a fuse. He didn't want to show it though.

"It's not my decision." Ryan said impassively, as he stood a very safe distance away from his girlfriend- afraid that when something stupid was said by him, the girl's claws would surely come out.

"Who's is it? Mine, you think?" Marissa started to speak in a more distress, and angered voice as she saw the emotionless Ryan in front of her. What used to be the most caring, romantic man, couldn't care less about their complex enough relationship. Marissa smiled, "Is it up to me to choose? I've made up my mind, considering how much this all means to you. Can you say anything so I know how you feel about this? Can I know where we stand?" Marissa pressed Ryan further, however in the mornings, Ryan could not function and his brain was mouldy and rotten.

"Marissa, you know how I feel about you. I don't want it to be over, but if a break is what we need to heal us to the way we were then I'll take a million because I don't want to loose you." Ryan managed to articulate. He was surprised at how sensitive that sounded- but it seemed to satisfy Marissa to a certain extent.

"A break." Marissa said, as if to contemplate the word thoroughly- as if by studying it, it would go away. "So a break it is." Marissa confirmed coolly.

"So a break it is, then." Ryan repeated, absolving Marissa from all discomfort, and anxiety. "Friends it is, until further notice- until we're ready. Is that okay?" Ryan asked gently.

"Ryan," Marissa looked at him guiltily, "When I mean break, I mean no talk, no sht. Just a time for thought. Both you and I need to sort our sht out. A break will help us do just that. I need time to think about what happened with Tray- twice- and I need time to think if a relationship is good for me. Because otherwise, I'm not going to go out with you if it's only for game. I'm sorry, Ryan. You know how I feel for you, too, but just, it's too hard. And it shouldn't be." Marissa said, as she touched his shoulder. Ryan looked at her, hurt, but he was not showing it. He let her walk away. He couldn't remember the exact second where she actually took the first step, because he was busy processing the previous words. Ryan stood there, watching Marissa already down the hall. He was trying to muster the confidence to run after her, and refuse this break. His legs were planted on the school floor, and they would only move in the opposite direction. Without his consent, he was walking down the hall- further and further from Marissa. Girls that were walking by Ryan, were looking at him deviously thinking- is he still single?

Marissa looked around, thinking about what she had done and how she did not want this. She couldn't change it- Ryan wouldn't forgive her, would he? Her lips talked faster then she could control, and somehow her mind had succeeded to overcome the power of love. Marissa wanted to walk back down to Ryan, but when she turned her head around, he was gone. It was too late.

Instead, Marissa walked over to the bathroom. The world buzzing around her, she carelessly looked at herself in the mirror. Everything seemed to spin- the gossip of fellow peers lost in her misery. Marissa grasped the counter, as she felt weak. She felt her legs giving out- but she couldn't be sure. Somehow, her mind was focusing on the image she saw in the reflective substance. Marissa didn't notice that she was crying, but when she saw the mascara dripping down her face she ran to grasp some toilet paper to rub it off. As she held the cheap toilet paper in her hands, she dropped it to the ground. It was useless to her.

She started to cry again, as she realised she had lost Ryan. She had just recently realised that she had broken up with him. Girls seemed to walk past her, but not only could she not hear them, they were a misty blur to her. They were useless to her.

She looked at the mirror, and the ugly image it portrayed. The girl with puffy eyes, a swollen red face. The mirror was useless to her. So she decided to ruin it- punch it with all the force. The shattering glass satisfied her, as she noticed beads of blood forming at her knuckles- the empty wall hidden behind the mirror. She smiled in satisfaction, as she gazed at the trickling ruby red blood, that seemed to ooze out of the sever. She cried harder when she realised what she had done and for what purposes. She cried, and cried, as she sunk down to the floor of the bathroom- the dirty, muggy floor of the bathroom, where her designer clothing was drowning in dust, and years' worth of dirt.

Nobody was there to help her.

Summer was busy with Seth. Ryan was probably busy flirting with some other equally-gorgeous chick, that didn't have problems with everything, and wasn't such a drama-queen. Her mother was probably out there hunting for a rich, grandfather ready to support her family. Her father was probably out somewhere scrounging for a place to stupidly invest his money.

Nobody was there, that moment in time, to save Marissa from what she had done.