Ch. 6
Doing what I can
Babe walked into her apartment and saw Jamie sitting at the table eating a late lunch.
"Jamie, hey, I thought you would be downstairs working." Babe said.
Jamie shook his head and set his food down on a plate and looked at Babe, "We need to talk."
Babe set her purse on the table and looked at Jamie, "About what?"
Babe knew what it was going to be about – JR.
"Why have you been spending so much time at the hospital taking care of JR?" Jamie asked quietly.
Babe turned around towards the fridge and looked in it, trying to make herself busy enough to not have to answer the question.
"Babe, I asked you a question. What are you doing?" Jamie said a little louder.
Babe grabbed water then shut the fridge and looked at Jamie and said, "I'm doing what I can."
"Babe, I know there has got to be a reason. Is it more visitation with your son, or getting him to leave us alone?"
"I feel bad for him, he doesn't have anyone." Babe said.
"There is a reason for that. He is an asshole to everybody." Jamie said.
"Yes, he is but I still feel bad that he is alone." Babe said.
Jamie looked in her eyes and saw she was being truthful.
"Why are being so nice to him after everything he has pulled? You should let Adam or some hired help take care of him."
"Listen, he is the father of my son so whatever happens to him will affect my son, so I need to make sure they are both OK." Babe explained.
"I just don't think you need to be going there as much." Jamie said.
"Well, it's not like I have anything else to do." Babe said.
"Well, you could be here with me." Jamie smiled and started kissing her neck.
"Well yeah, that is always an option." Babe said and Jamie picked her up and led her to the un-made bed.
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Babe had just finished her shift a couple weeks later at the bar and was closing up when the phone rang. She ran over to it and picked it up.
"Hello?" She asked out of breath.
"Babe, it's me." The voice said.
"JR? What's going on? Are you OK?" Babe asked.
"I don't think so... Can you come to the hospital?" JR asked.
"JR, its 3 a.m in the morning." Babe said.
"I know, please Babe? I don't know who else to call." JR pleaded.
"OK, I'll be right there." Babe hung up the phone and finished locking up the place before heading to the hospital.
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Babe quietly walked into JR's room and found him staring at a wall in the dark.
"JR?" Babe asked, turning on the light.
"No, the light is too bright. Shut it off." JR said quietly, closing his eyes.
"OK, I'll turn on the lamp." Babe shut of the lights and walked to his bedside and turned on a lamp, "Better?"
JR nodded.
"So what's going on JR?" Babe sat down next to him.
JR shook his head and sighed, "I don't know what to do."
"About what, JR?"
"My legs!" JR snapped, and Babe stood up.
"Listen, I'm sorry Babe... I just..." JR tried to apologize.
"It's all right, I understand." Babe sat back down.
"No, no you really don't. How would you feel if you had to depend on everybody else for daily tasks when you hadn't depended on anyone for anything in your entire life? And not knowing if you can ever walk again, or play ball with your son, or basketball or hockey or anything like that? And physical therapy, nothing is even happening. I try to do everything I can, but it doesn't work!"
"Those things take time JR." Babe tried to calm him.
"I don't want them to take time." JR paused, and then looked at Babe,
"Have you ever felt the fear of knowing you have legs but not being able to feel them or know if you will ever walk like a man ever again?"
"Just because you can't walk doesn't make you any less of a man." Babe told him.
"Doesn't it? I'll never be able to walk up the stairs to kiss Little Adam goodnight, or walk into a room again. Just getting up in the morning will be a battle. I don't know if I can live like that." JR said quietly.
"Don't you even say that. It doesn't matter that you have to use a wheelchair instead of walk. Little Adam needs his father. You think he is going to love you any less just because you are in a wheelchair? You are still the same person JR, that hasn't changed. Our son loves you and he needs you."
"I'm still the same person... the same person who is going to die alone?" JR asked, looking at Babe.
Babe looked down and swallowed hard, "I'm sorry I ever said that. I was angry and having a really bad day. I had no right to say that, nor did I have any right to talk about your mother. I don't know how she would feel right now, but what I do know if that she would be proud of you for handling this so well."
JR swallowed and looked away from Babe.
"You're right, I don't know what I would do if I was in your position. It has to be scary, and the JR I know hates depending on people. But you do know that I was wrong when I said that you would die alone, right?" Babe asked.
JR looked straight ahead, not answering.
"I was, and your proof is because right now, Adam, Tad, and even Jamie and Krystal care about what is happening to you, and are trying to help you. You're not dying, but they still care about you. So do I." Babe said to him.
JR turned and looked at her, "I don't know why I called you."
"Just face it; you're warming up to me." Babe smiled and gently and playfully pushed his shoulder.
"Actually I think they gave me a more powerful pain killer for the surgery they just performed." JR said.
"Yeah, that's probably it." Babe said.
JR and Babe both smiled at each other.
"Babe?" JR asked.
"Yes JR?"
"Will you stay with me... until I fall asleep?" JR asked softly.
Babe was shocked at his request, "Are you sure?"
JR nodded.
"Of course I will." Babe said.
"Thank you. And Babe?" Babe looked over at JR, "Do you promise not to tell anyone I called you over here at 2 am in the morning?"
Babe smiled and nodded, "As long as you don't tell anyone that I actually came."
"I'll probably forget it tomorrow anyway. Dr. Drake said this medicine makes you easily forget things once it's administered."
Babe nodded, "Goodnight JR."
"'Night Babe." JR said and closed his eyes.
Babe rested her head on top of her arms that were lying on top of JR's bed, trying to fight sleep while watching JR breathe in and out.