Chapter Forty Three

"Marissa, darling, please calm down," Julie pleaded with her, "I know something must have happened, othersie things would be very different, but you can't let your anger out on the people you love; Summer for example?" Julie offered her a train of thought to contemplate on. With that she left the room; she wanted her daughter to think about what was happening in her life. Perhaps space would help her out minimally.

Marissa grasped her head, feeling unworthy for her mother's unexpected love. I shouldn't depend my life on someone like I did on Ryan, she thought slowly to herself. I shouldn't need anybody, She continued her thoughts. I should freaking kill Alex for causing such a mess- well, maybe not kill exactly. Tell her off is more suitable. She got out of bed, and decided to pick her shattered pieces up. She wasn't going to be so dramatic; she was closing herself off from civilisation. She didn't need human's to love her; she could be self-dependant and yet that was all she really needs. She smiled, and thought that it was a time for a change in her life. No longer would people take advantage of her, because Marissa would not allow it. People would suffer for the sht they brought into the world; Marissa was proud to be the person to stop it all. She wasn't going to allow anymore crap encircle itself around her life- she had had enough.

"You're up!" Julie said excitedly, when Marissa found herself in the kitchen, "I was just making breakfast, are you hungry?" Julie asked.

"I am on a diet, but what the hell. It's so useless to deprive the body of food. I can be whoever I want to be." Marissa announced proudly.

"Are you still drunk?" Julie swallowed, as she stared at Marissa nervously.

"No, mom. I'm making changes- changes that will make me a better person, towards you and my peers. It will make me prone to the sht people pull. I'm finally going to be free of obligation- I'm going to be who I want to be." Marissa answered her mother's shocked face.

"Okay, sweetie. I just hope you won't get in trouble with this new persona. I kind of like you the way you are." Julie said quietly, as she avoided Marissa's eyes. Marissa seemed so confident, after such a depression. Julie was afraid that if she pulled Marissa down from this euphoria, she would go lower then depression. Julie smiled, "I'm happy for you, darling." Julie pressed her lips together, making what looked like a distorted, insecure smile. Marissa didn't notice anyways- she was absorbed in her plans. "So how's Ryan?" Julie said trying to change the subject- but she managed to hit a bulls-eye.

"The hell with Ryan," Marissa said quickly, stubbornly, "Do me a favour, Ma, don't say his name under this house or you will displease me verrrryyyy greatly." Marissa smiled, as she grabbed a piece of toast. "I'm going to go to Café Rose to apologize and set a few things straight. I think I said some pretty naughty things to whoever was waiting; it's just a faint memory though."

"Good riddance, babe. You know, I kinda like this knew 'Marissa'. Your so bold and confident- I mean I don't think I've seen you like this. It's kind of snazzy, honey." Julie said, complimenting her daughter's choice to the best of her ability.

"Thanks mom. Maybe this time, I'll like what I become." Marissa smiled gently, as she stalked off out of the door. She walked over to the café. When she swung open the door, a waiter gave her a blank, almost nervous look. He whispered to his co-worker, possibly something like, "Look the drunk chick's here." Marissa smiled nervously, as she raised her hand to wave. The manager approached her- a stubby, grey-haired man with a heavy accent.

"You've caused much commotion in my café. I do not wish to see you here any further."

"Sir, I'm so sorry. It was a rough day; I'll pay for the damage, I'm sorry. I really like this café, but I went overboard. I feel so stupid because I wrecked my reputation. I just came to apologize to you, and to the waiter that was serving me. Through my drunk-as I'm thinking I said some pretty bad things. I really want him to know that I am sincerely sorry. I understand if you don't want me to come by anymore. I'm sorry." Marissa nodded, as she turned to leave.

"Lady, you can't come here one day acting like a big shot, and the next like a little mouse coming back home. You're going to do it again! That's why you are strictly forbidden on the premises, or we will sue, is that clear?" The man hollered.

"I'm sorry. How much do the damages total up to?" Marissa asked, concerned.

"A few broken glasses, an emotionally unstable waiter, a reputation for drunks. Some things are irreplaceable." The man said to her angrily.

"Is $1000 cheque enough?" Marissa said. She tried not to smile when she saw the wide eyes of the man.

"Leave. Just leave." The man shooed her out.

"I'm sorry!" She called out finally while she was getting pushed out of the door. She walked off clumsily in the other direction. She decided not to go back there- despite her pride. The man had treated her unfairly, and because of one mistake, she had to pay a lifetime. Being banned out of a café was really harsh, and it did do damage on the ego. Now Marissa had to remember to avoid this place at all costs.