AN: The song in this chapter is "Goodbye my lover" by James Blunt. If you have it the song, you should play it while reading this chapter. If you don't have the song, get it! It is very sweet and matches this chapter very well. –Danielle
Ch. 13
Goodbye my Lover
Babe slowly pushed open the door to her apartment and saw the bed where she and Jamie usually slept still made. She guessed he hadn't been here all night.
Babe sighed and tossed her keys on the table just out of habit. She was kind of happy Jamie wasn't here; she didn't want him to watch her pack up and leave a life she used to be so happy with.
Babe wasn't sure what had happened. One moment she and Jamie were doing fine, and were about to get married, and then it all fell apart. But thinking about it, Babe knew the answer was JR. He caused the riff between her and Jamie.
But Babe wasn't angry at JR, she was actually thankful. He helped her realize that even though she had been happy with Jamie, she didn't belong with him. Babe couldn't have lived in this apartment with him forever like she would have promised him when they would have gotten married. Babe was happy that she realized that she didn't want to marry him before they actually tied the knot; it actually saved her from ripping Jamie's heart out and having her third divorce.
Babe looked around her small apartment and re-played some of the memories that had happened here. They made her smile as she thought about some of the good times her and Jamie created here.
Babe couldn't help but be a little sad; she was saying goodbye to a part of her life and a man who had helped her when no one else could. Jamie saved her and her child, more than once. He believed in her when no one else would, and he protected her when everyone wanted her blood.
Jamie was such a sweet and decent guy, and he deserved a lot better than Babe could give. She hoped he would find some sweet nurse at the hospital or a fellow woman student studying to become a doctor to be happy with. Now that she was ending her relationship with Jamie, JR would let up on his restrictions and allow Jamie to go to medical school to achieve his dreams.
And maybe while Jamie was achieving his dreams, Babe's could come true, too...
Babe thoughts were thrown back to JR again and how he asked her to move in. Babe was so shocked she could barely think. JR had asked her to move back in... It was like she was dreaming. She had wanted this for a while, and now it was actually happening. She would be living in the same house that JR and her son were living in.
But what do I actually feel for him? Babe thought to herself.
Babe wasn't sure what her feelings were for JR. She knew that she cared about him a great deal, and that she wanted to be with him. But did that mean she loved him? Just because she wanted to be a family with him and their son, and get married, and live happily ever after with him... did all those things mean she loved him?
"Could I really be in love with him?" Babe asked quietly.
"In love with whom?" Jamie walked into apartment and shut the door.
Babe spun around to turn and look at him, "What are you doing here?"
"I live here, remember?" Jamie asked, and even though he didn't push the issue he had a sneaking suspicion about the person Babe might love.
"Right, I just came to get my things. I really wished you wouldn't have been here for this." Babe said, and turned towards a dresser.
"You're really moving out?" Jamie asked.
"Yes, I'm surprised you even remember that I told you I was. You were really drunk." Babe said to him.
"I'm sorry about that... I just... I don't know." Jamie ran a hand through his unruly hair; he looked like he hadn't slept all night, "I just thought that you weren't moving out. Like you said it in the heat of passion or something."
Babe shook her head, "No, we've both known this was coming. Our relationship... it has been falling apart for a while now. We both knew it, and now its time to move on."
"But, I don't want you to go." Jamie admitted.
Babe finished packing her clothes into her bags and started walking around the apartment, "Think about what you just said, do you really mean it? I mean Jamie, we are both really different now. And I know it's my fault that you started drinking. You've always said how you've never wanted to become a drunk like your starting to become... and I don't want to do that do you anymore."
"No, Babe, it's not all your fault... I've been under a lot of stress with bills and everything." Jamie said.
"Also my fault. I'm the reason we had to live in this small apartment and not be able to get decent jobs. But not anymore. Now that I'm out of your life you're going to be free to get a job at the hospital like you've always wanted, and then hopefully you'll start taking classes to become a doctor."
"How do you know that Babe? How do you know JR would do that?" Jamie asked.
Babe walked into the bathroom, grabbing her things and walked back out to the living room, "He will, believe me. I'll make sure of it." Babe said.
"Where are you going to live? You don't have to move, I can always leave." Jamie offered while watching her pick up her things.
Babe shook her head, "No, it's fine. I already got a place lined up."
"You do... where?" When Babe didn't answer Jamie sighed, "With JR, right?"
"Not like that Jamie. We both decided since I was about to be homeless and he needed extra help it would just be easier to move into the Chandler mansion."
Jamie nodded, "I guess your right."
Babe stopped and looked around, "Even though I complained and complained about this place, I think I'm still going to miss it."
Jamie sighed, "I can't believe its over."
Babe finished gathering all her things into 3 duffel bags and stopped and looked at Jamie, "Me either. But it's for the best."
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you
Babe slowly walked up to Jamie and cupped his cheek with her hand, "You'll never know how much you and the time we spent together means to me."
Jamie placed his hand over hers, "Same here."
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
Babe smiled up him and felt the tears filling her eyes, "Goodbye James Martin."
She stood on her tip-toes like she was she used to doing and kissed him softly. She pulled away and wiped her tears, and grabbed her bags.
"Do you need help?" Jamie asked, also choked up.
Babe shook her head, and smiled at him. Then she grabbed her bags and walked out the door, leaving it open. She made her way downstairs and to her car and threw her bags into the back. She got in the drivers seat and couldn't hold it in anymore. She began to sob as she placed her head on the wheel.
Jamie walked to the door Babe had left open and leaned against it. He stared at the spot she used to be and knew she would never be again. A tear fell from his eye as he shut the door on their old life forever.
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been he one for me