Chapter Three
Summer was choking inside of herself. Her stomach felt as if some deathly person was clenching it with all their power. Her legs were trembling. The shriek of her flashback rung in her mind.
Doctors were calling out to her, but all she could see were their mouths moving. In no way, did she realise that they were saying, "Her heartbeat is dangerously high! She might have an attack!" or, "Miss Roberts, pull yourself together, you're on the brink of dying." If she did, she would have calmed herself down. A wash of heat tumbled over her head, now Doctors were hollering, "Summer, you have a perilously high fever! Call the nurses, more doctors! We might loose her!"
Summer felt hollow in her frail body, staring blankly at one of the Doctors. And finally she heard him say, "You're going to be okay." The silent murmur, amoung all the noise- she heard it. She felt calm, soothed, as she began to breath again. She felt her heart slow down substantially. She started to hear doctors around her, speaking in now, monotone, relieved voices. She wiped beads of sweat off her forehead, as she sighed. "We almost lost you there, Miss Roberts. It was extremely close." The same doctor said, warning her in that same, silent voice. Summer nodded. All her senses returned to her, yet she could not speak a single word. She nodded- what seemed like a nod was barely a movement. She blinked very briefly, as she looked around the morbid silence.
With a blink of an eye, the feeling was gone. She was washed over with a sense of peace. Ryan made a mistake- so did she. No one ever had to find out, because what people didn't know wouldn't hurt them. She smiled- Who cares? She thought. It was an innocent, tiny, small, quick, extremely quick, kind of get-well-soon and I'm-sorry-for-my-brother's-actions kind of kiss. Did those kinds of kisses even exist? Summer continued to think, but she refused to be brought down once more to the point where she was on the verge of taking away her own precious life.
Hiding the fact would be no burden to face. Erasing it, completely however, from her mind, past, and conscience would take some precarious time, that would possibly shake up her life at the moment of thought. She smiled- Oh well, She thought. Right now I have to get better and that's the MOST important thing, Summer said.
Seth.
Seth. Seth. Seth.
Something in Summer's mind made her recall Seth- suddenly, after her peace and rejuvenation, she needed to see him. She called the nearest Doctor that was fidgeting on something on a near table.
"Yes Ma'am?" He answered her call.
"Doctor, Sir, Mr." Summer didn't know how to start- how to even call this person that stood so morosely in front of her. "Is Seth Cohen ready for visitation?" Summer said slowly.
"Miss, he's after heavy surgery. He needs some time to recuperate. In the next hour or so, we expect him to be well as new. For now, all you can do is wait. Sorry." The doctor said carelessly- the carelessness was oh, too evident. Summer didn't tolerate it.
"How do you know! You haven't checked on him since forever you smart as. I want to see how my boyfriend is, who by the way took a freaking bullet for me! You think waiting is easy for me? Knowing that he might DIE on my behalf is so freaking easy I can just waste the time away! I need to see him. I need to! You've never felt this kind of emotional pain, and instability yet, have you? Do you know how miserably I feel? No. So I'll tell you. There is NO way someone could be in so much pain, and yet still be alive. Every millimetre of me, is starving to see Seth Cohen, the love of my freaking life. I feel so worthless without his hand in mine. My heart is throbbing in my throat, knowing that I have to wait yet another torturous hour to say thank you. But no, you don't understand that. You won't even let me see him." Summer started to tear, as she breathed heavily, "He means so much to me. I just want to see him. Not touch him, rather talk to him. I want to thank him for saving my life, and wish him well. Doctor, Sir, Mr, you have to have a heart big enough to let me see him. You have to. I'm dying on the inside, emotionally. Please." Summer begged as she grasped her pillow to exert some of her stress.
The next thing she knew, the doctor was helping her get up, as she grasped his strong arm. She walked with an unstable wobble, as she trembled with happiness- she was going to see Seth! She tried to walk faster, but the doctor seemed to hold her back, as if afraid he were to get in some sort of trouble. Summer nearly barked at him to go faster, but she was already thankful enough to have acquired the permission to see Seth. Her heart was jumping so fast, she never realised it had such a prevailing rhythm. Her face was excited, and frivolous, as she walked closer to the room. What seemed like forever, was actually a second that had danced by. Summer's hopes were so high, and she was so concentrated she did not even realise how fast she was walking, how long it was taking. The doctor still held her arm firmly, so Summer would not crash to the floor. Summer made a sudden stop. She gulped, as she looked at the template on the door; Room 302. Summer was attracted to this door- inside, she knew it was it. The doctor looked at her wearily,
"Miss, how did you know it was here?" He asked gently.
"I don't know. Something about this door made me stop. Seth is in this room?" Summer asked excitedly. Her eyes were wide, and pending. The doctor nodded. Summer opened the door carefully, silently. She had a huge grin plastered on her face once she felt the coolness of the doorknob. The feeling was like static, rushing through her body. She could barely wait to see Seth. She swung open the door. Her legs almost gave out at the site of Seth. The doctor was quick to catch her, right before she hit the ground. He quickly retrieved a chair for her, and he placed it right beside the bed. He left her alone with Seth, so she could wallow, cry, whatever she pleased. Summer was already wailing, tears streaking her cheeks effortlessly. Her excited, flaring eyes, were now miserable, heart-broken.
She found nothing wrong with the picture she saw. She saw Seth, the blood barely cleaned off his face, and cuts (that were not evident in the dim, moonlit, darkness) were now startlingly palpable. Summer touched his face, with her cold hand wiping some dry blood off his flesh. Then she touched his hand, barely warm, and she started to caress it, ever so gently. She started to moisten his dry fingers with her own tears, that she didn't realise were still flowing.
"I'm so sorry Seth," Summer started to say. Her voice was a tad muffled. Her face was red, and swollen from the immediate tears. "You should have let me take the bullet. I can't live without you, honey. I wish I could be the one recuperating from the bullet wound. I'm so sorry it had to be you, for my own fault. You shouldn't have done it." Summer started to wail, as she kissed Seth's hand, ever so gently. "Seth, even with the blood on your face, cuts everywhere, you're still beautiful to me; I want you to know that. Please, don't give up. Please, just wake up so I can feel alive again. I love you so much Seth, and I will never let you go. I don't care what life throws at us, I will always be at your side, Seth. I can never repay you for saving my life. Never. I'm so afraid that I'll loose you; I never want to loose you. You're so perfect. I pray that you're going to be okay, Seth. I'm praying with all my heart," Summer kissed his hand again, as she started to feel the warmth of his hand, the warmth that he was now contracting, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Seth. I love you." Summer wiped her tears. "I remember our first kiss," Summer laughed quietly, "We were waiting for Marissa and Ryan who were late at detention, and then we started to talk. Then, I told you you weren't what I was looking for, and you believed me. Then, I kissed you. It seems so long ago. We've been through so much. That kiss was by far, the most amazing kiss of my life." Summer smiled, as she recalled it. "And how about when we went to the hot tub . . . and Ryan spotted us!" Summer smiled, as if she heard Seth's jolly smile. She was joking around, and talking to him, as if she forgot that he couldn't hear her- he was in coma. "We have the worst timing, honey." Summer sighed, "But that's going to change, once you get out of coma, and we stay together- forever. I'm feeling so much better when I'm hear with you. I don't feel at all miserable, like I did when I was alone. Now I feel, worth something." Summer laughed, "I've become so dependant of you, I just can't breathe without you. Pathetic, eh? I came from independent woman, to madly in love with Seth Cohen." Summer smiled to herself, "You're so perfect, Seth. I don't know why I ever doubted that." Summer said softly, "I wonder why I thought I was happy when I was alone, popular and just the dumbest btch in school; NOTHING beats this feeling Seth. If I were to be anymore happy, I think I would die. You make me smile, you make me breath, you make my life worthwhile. Damn, I'm blabbing. You're probably listening to this crap and thinking, 'That's my Summer.' I just wish you were awake," Summer said more seriously. "I wish . . . I pray . . . I wait . . . For you."