Monty Python and the Holy Toothbrush
Chapter II
Mirrors hold such agony for people of British blood. Even though a rather spiffy accent is bestowed so generously on these folk, other such characteristics find themselves most unfathomable to most, yet are the general norm to them.
Staring into a mirror may seem an innocent action, that is, until a brit smiles. Especially a king, with all this wealth and particular tastes for sweet treats. For Arthur, he must have one bear claw in the morning with his extremely strong coffee, two lollies before lunch, and five butterfingers after dinner. For this particular king, smiling is an action in which he does not refuse to do, but does only in a casual manner when in the spot light of the public who demands it.
"I'll slap your beard off with a herring if you don't show me a smile!" Arthur flashes back to when he was fifteen, a geriatric woman garbed in old tattered, barely red linen… she yells at him to flash a charming smile only so she can go back to her great grandchildren in her hollowed out tree house and brag.
In the mirror, Arthur is slowly becoming aware that teeth that cannot be flashed about in a public display of manly egotism are not fit to sit in his dark and sickly gums.
"TO THE DENTIST," Arthur exclaims to himself, alone in the carpet room. As he says this only to the slight pleasure of himself, he thinks that other such upgrades will be in order around the house.
Immediately he runs out of the room, only to greet a maid.
"Dear God! Put some clothes on before you come scampering about in the hallway," the maid shouts and covers her eyes dropping a basket of laundry.
"Oh…" Arthur looks about and realizes that he has not a stitch on.
"Heh… forgive me madam," He says as he casually reaches inside his room and feels around for some sort of cloth to cover him up for the mean time. Pulling out something silky he covers himself without a thought.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The maid uncovered her eyes only to find that the king was holding a yellow-polka-dotted thong to his crotch. As she has had enough she runs down the hallway and falls down the stairs as she attempts to make a ninety-degree turn into the stairwell.
"Maybe some clothes might be appropriate… don't want all the maids to throw themselves down the stairs." Arthur turns to walk back into the room to dress himself. Off in the distance (down the hall) he hears a shriek for yet another maid,
"WHO IS MARIA! YOU YELLOW BASTARD!" Arthur ignores this and places his hand to cover the tattoo on his buttock until he fully closes the chamber door.