-Chapter 11-

-With You Always-

Enjeru woke much later within the hospital room she now stayed in. The room was dark, muted by the curtains that hung over the window. The buzz of multiple machines rang through the otherwise silent room. The room was very monotone, white walls, white ceiling, white curtains, gray/silver machines. Something dark in her lap caught her eye. She looked down to see Hiroshi laying in her lap, wearing a black, biker style jacket that she registered as Hatsuharu's jacket. Beneath it she caught the glimpse of hospital pajama's with slippers. Hiroshi was sleeping soundlessly, his deep breathing reassuring her that he wouldn't wake up for a couple of hours.

Enjeru noticed something odd. She moved her head to find her hair short. She grasped at it, her hair only coming above her shoulders now. She started to breathe heavily, scared, looking for what happened before she was in the room. She saw her hand bandaged, several patched areas, a few stitches. She started to shake, terrified. She couldn't remember what happened. She couldn't feel anything except the weight of her son's head on her thigh, his hand near her knee, his back against her other leg. She saw a shadow pass her door, heard the loud noise of it opening.

She freaked. Desperately looking around for a possible exit. She didn't care who entered. She didn't even see who entered.

Suddenly a hand came over her mouth as she was about to rasp out a protest, something. A soothing voice entered her ear, telling her that everything would be alright. Her bright green eyes softened, as the voice of Yuki clicked in her head. She looked over at him, his bright violet eyes worried, lost sleep showing in his face. Despite all of the worry that showed, he smiled at her gently, glancing down at Hiroshi then back at her.

"If I let you talk, will you scream? I know you hate hospitals..," Yuki said gently.

She shook her head and he took his hand off of her mouth.

"Hiroshi-chan has been worried about you. He refused to stay in his own room," Yuki said softly as he pulled over a chair and sat.

Enjeru glanced down at her son and smiled gently, a bit of sadness in her eyes, "what happened? I can't remember how I got here or why..."

"You don't remember?" Yuki asked quietly, shock entering his voice.

"No... I don't. I remember that Hiroshi was worried about me... and I had told him that it would be alright, but I can't remember why or any events that would lead me to here, or why my hair is so short..." Pain entered her voice, her eyes softening, the look on her face was pleading as she turned to her brother.

"You had a lunch meeting with Akitou-sama. You both argued, Hiroshi-chan ran home from school and tried to stop Akitou-sama, but he was thrown into a wall. Akitou-sama became even angrier with you, finally threw your head straight into a wall... Hiroshi came too and informed Tohru-chan and I, his hands were covered in blood.. after we saw you, it was apparent that it was your blood he was covered in. You were bleeding pretty badly, we didn't know if you were going to make it or not."

Enjeru's eyes widened as the memories came back as Yuki spoke, "I... I remember..."

Enjeru looked down, tears entering her eyes, "but that doesn't explain my hair being so short..."

Yuki swallowed, "they had to cut it, to stitch up a large gash in the back of your head... the doctor said that you are on a lot of pain killers... so you won't feel any pain. Hiroshi thinks it's his fault you were hurt."

Enjeru looked as if she was stabbed in the gut, tears spilling out of her eyes, "it never was... it never will be... never..." she reached over to Hiroshi and stroked his hair, "never was it your fault Hiroshi... never... not before, not now..."

Yuki watched, pain in his eyes and face.

Hiroshi stirred slightly and opened his eyes slowly, it took him a little while to notice his mother's hand on his head, but when he did, he gasped, looking up to his broken down mother.

He reached up to his mother's face as he sat up, his eyes filling with tears, "M-M-Momma..? Why... Why are you crying..?"

"Hiroshi... never think... that any of this is your fault... none of it is. None of it, you hear me?" Enjeru cried.

"Momma..." Hiroshi bawled as he hugged his mother tightly.

Days later, Enjeru was still in the hospital. The doctor was concerned about the healing of her wounds. Enjeru's wounds had not started to close up yet, and her immune system was beginning to fail. She was raspy, coughing, and pale due to fever. She didn't have the energy she normally had, and felt as if she couldn't go on for much longer.

Hiroshi stayed with her all of the time. Family rotated in to see her, Yuki and Tohru being there a lot with Ayame and Shigure.

The doctor came in one day, asking everyone to leave so that Enjeru and he could speak alone. Enjeru nodded, and Hiroshi reluctantly left. The doctor was kind, though had a sorrowful look upon his features. Enjeru smiled at him a little, hope on her face. The doctor saw this and tried to give her one back as he sat on the edge of her bed beside her, but it failed and turned into a worried frown.

"Sohma-san..." The doctor started.

"You can call me by my first name sir." Enjeru cut in.

"Sorry, Enjeru-san, I have... some bad news."

Enjeru became worried, "what is it?"

"We may be mistaken... but we believe that you may have a brain tumor. We will have to take you down the hall to be sure. However, until we are sure, don't be alarmed. It could be nothing. We just think that the blow to the head you took a few days ago may have created this tumor and is blocking your ability to create platelets in your blood. In other words, the veins won't be able to close up if it can't create platelets."

Enjeru bit her bottom lip as she looked down, "how long until we're sure?"

"A few hours. The scan will take about an hour to an hour and a half to do. A technician will look over it, and then I will. I'll inform you right away when we come to a conclusion."

Enjeru nodded.

"Enjeru-san, this may be a personal question, but your son, his father is Hatori Sohma, isn't it?" The doctor asked in an almost concerned tone.

Enjeru nodded in response, "yes, though Hari-chan died shortly after Hiroshi was born."

"I see… I'm sorry to hear that. Though, Hiroshi-san reminds me a little of Hatori-san. We met once in medical school, had a class together."

Enjeru nodded.

"I'm sorry, Enjeru-san. Um, if we go do the test now, I can get you the results before dinner comes around." The doctor said, standing, returning to his professional persona.

"Well, let's get it over with then," Enjeru said with a sigh, looking back at the doctor.

Five minutes until dinner comes around. Enjeru was vaguely watching the clock. Hiroshi was slightly bored, though still worried about his mother. Many of the Sohmas had work, though some were coming home. Momiji wanted to spend dinner with Enjeru and Hiroshi, he'd be arriving any minute now. The door suddenly opened as Enjeru was helping Hiroshi with a word search. Enjeru looked up to see the doctor.

"Enjeru-san, can I speak to you alone?" The doctor asked.

"Can you wait outside of the room for a little dear? I promise it'll be quick," Enjeru whispered into her son's ear.

Hiroshi looked reluctant, but he obeyed anyway. He nodded and slid off the bed, taking the word search and pencil with him, giving a worried look to the doctor before he left.

"Enjeru-san, I have some bad news," the doctor said gently.

"What kind of bad news?" Enjeru asked eyes widened.

"In that scan, we found that what we thought might have been a tumor is not… but is in fact something much worse…"

"What is it sir? Please tell me."

And when he uttered the horrible disease that had infected itself into her brain, Momiji and Hiroshi had just walked into the room. When he spoke that five letter word that would change their lives forever, the room became deathly silent. Momiji and Hiroshi, both understanding instantly the severity of the diagnosis. The doctor had uttered the word, Cancer. He told her that she had tumor before, and that it was hardly noticeable, but because of the other hits to the head, something had gone wrong and the tumor was now cancerous. What was worse was, he told her that the cancer had spread. It wasn't just in one area. It was in at least a fourth of her nervous system and couldn't be removed unless she wanted to be put on life support.

Enjeru was so shocked and in disbelief that she just sat there, still. Pale as if she had just seen a ghost, and her worst fears washed up onto her face. Momiji stood as stiff as a board, and Hiroshi was shaking, but too scared to move. This wasn't something he could fight, so Hiroshi had no idea what to do. He couldn't fight this. No one really could. And now he felt that because he couldn't protect his mother, this was his fault. Because he couldn't protect what happened to his mother, this entire situation, the cancer was his fault. And because his father wasn't alive to keep up the continuous checkups, they couldn't have found it sooner and gotten rid of it before it turned into this. His father not being there was also his fault he felt. It was all his fault. All of this.

His eyes filled with tears before he cried, "Momma, I'm so sorry, it's my fault," before he ran out of the door and down the hall.

"Hiroshi!" She yelled after him, but he was already out the door.

Momiji snapped out of his daze and muttered a, "I'll go after him," before he ran out of the door, following the path the boy had taken.

Hiroshi refused to go back to his mother, terrified that he'd do something that would cause anything else to happen to her. He was absolutely terrified. Momiji had told Enjeru about Hiroshi, and took him to stay with Ayame. Hiroshi barely spoke to anyone, he barely opened his mouth.

The doctors really wanted Enjeru to stay within the hospital, but they let her go home for a weekend. Hatsuharu drove her to Ayame's that day. He was nice, gentle, tried his best not to change to black Haru. Everyone was kind to her. Everyone tried their best not to fight, tried their best not to say anything wrong. They all sat around, Rin sitting in the window sill, Hatsuharu sitting a little below her. Ayame sat next to her and Yuki on her other side. Tohru sat on the floor next to them. Momiji, Kisa and Hiro all sat on the couch across from them with Shigure sitting in a chair beside them.

They all were nice, not mentioning anything that could hurt Enjeru.

But Rin opened her mouth, not thinking of what it could trigger.

"That cancer's going to kill you, isn't it?" Rin asked, looking over.

Enjeru's eyes softened as she looked down, small tears gathering in her eyes.

"Rin-" Yuki started before Enjeru cut him off.

"Don't try to make it better than it really is Yuki. This cancer is going to kill me... My son thinks that this is his fault. And even though it's not... he will always think it is. This cancer's going to kill me while he will only remember the pain I've been in and thinking it was his fault. There's no way to prevent it. Absolutely no way," she said, her hands squeezing together, tears gathering into her eyes.

Suddenly Shigure put his hand on her folded ones as he leaned over the table, "Enjeru, this isn't like you. You've never thought negatively about anything, so why start now? Would Hari-kun want to hear you say these things? Would he?"

Enjeru looked up at Shigure's face, of which gave a gentle smile back at her. Tears began to pour from her face as his last question repeated over and over in her mind, echoing and an answer not forming within the empty walls of her head. Everything went still, an almost deathly calm.

"No… no he wouldn't…" came her soft, barely audible reply.

"Enjeru-onee, you've been strong for all of us, now it is our time to be strong for you," Yuki said gently.

- - -

The doctor had given her no more than a week to live. At this time, she was attached to so many machines, it was barely possible to see Enjeru as she used to be. She was so thin, it seemed as if she was skin on bones. She was sleeping most of the time, none of the life that used to be her left within that body. You were lucky to see Enjeru open and close her hands, it hurt too much for her to move them. Ayame closed his shop so he could watch his little sister. He had hoped that his presence would help reenergize her. But nothing did.

A day passed, and now the doctors were assisting her breathing. She'd die any day now, any hour… Not much hope was left for the single mother.

She held on. One more day.

Momiji came in, with Hiroshi at his side. Hiroshi was bawling, he didn't want to go near his mother. Didn't want to see her condition, her pain. He didn't want to be the cause of that anymore. But when he saw her, he froze. He wondered a little if that was what cancer did to people. He wondered faintly if his mother was still alive, if she'd look at him after what he'd done.

Momiji gently guided him to the side of the bed, and amazingly, Enjeru was awake. She turned her head a little and smiled gently at Hiroshi. The small boy barely recognized his mother. The thin woman reached out to her son and stroked his hair, showing great pain on her face. She reached up with her other hand and lowered the mask that helped her breathe.

She looked so old to Hiroshi, and spoke much like she was over 80.

"Hiroshi-chan… I held on to see you… I wanted to see you… before I left…" Enjeru said as Hiroshi began to bawl harder than he had before, "I want to tell you… that.. I'll be with you always… your father and I… He's been waiting for me…. I hate to leave you… I really do… But… I want you to tell everyone… even Akitou… that… The next head of the Sohma house… will be kind to everyone… And will love and cherish their existence… even the cat's…"

Through his tears, Hiroshi nodded.

"Remember, … I'll always love you… And I'm always with you… no matter what."

Hiroshi nodded again, taking his mother's hand, "M-Momma… don't leave me… please don't leave me… I love you momma… don't leave me…"

"Hiroshi… you weren't listening…" She said gently, "I may leave this world… but I'll always be with you… I love you Hiroshi…"

Enjeru's eyes started to close, her hand going limp in her son's hands. The loud noise of one of the machines, alerting that the patient attached to it, no longer had a heart beat rang loudly. Hiroshi began to cry and shout to his mother to come back, that he loved her and that he'd be a better son. But she was already gone.

Momiji and Ayame ran to get a doctor, but the doctor only shut off the machine and told them that she was already gone.

- - -

When the machine had signaled Enjeru's death, at the same time, an ambulance was at the Sohma main house. Akitou was being carted out on a stretcher, paler than death. Akitou had experienced a heart attack, and with no one around to help him, he had died.

- - -

A week later, the rest of the zodiac family gathered around Enjeru's grave, and carved upon the cold hard stone was a set of angel's wings and this: "A mother, a friend, and a sister, over looking the family like a guardian angel, spreading her message like a messenger. Shall her words invoke the strength in everyone, from this world and to the next. Enjeru Sohma, Our Messenger Angel"

- - -

A new head of the house was born, and he grew under Hiroshi's influence and became a kind and loving leader. The cat was allowed into the zodiac and to the New Year's banquet. Hiroshi grew up to be a doctor, following in the footsteps of his father.