TITLE: Awakening
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: What else?
Spoilers: Through
season 4.
Disclaimer: I own
nothing of Smallville.
A/N: This is a one-shot. I wrote it a while ago, and realized I never put it up here. This is one of my first Smallville stories - one of my oldies. lol. Anyway ... enjoy!
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Clark could not believe he was here. Staring at her. Even in the darkness, his eyes fell to her beauty, to her grace. The large, bay windows on the far right let little light in from the moon that danced across the ocean just outside. But it was enough to cast both he and Chloe in something better than reality. The soft, crash of the waves gave him the courage to fulfill the promise they made to each other. To give a night of everything, leave nothing at the door, and fulfill the fantasies that subtly plagued them since they met.
The
world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange
what desire will make foolish people do.
Once the night was over, nothing would go past this room. The moment would be for them, and them alone. To dwell in their hearts for the rest of their lives.
I
never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed
that I knew somebody like you.
Of course he thought of this before. What it might be like with her, his best friend. What would he find? What would she give him? What secrets would be revealed? And yet, with the thrill came the fear. Scared to cross that line. Scared to risk everything they built in their friendship. Scared to believe, to discover, that all this time, there may have been something more to their self-defined, platonic love.
No, I don't want to fall in love
The latter a version of the truth he may not be able to accept.
No,
I don't want to fall in love
With you.
Though thoughts slowed his pace to Chloe, who waited for him with anticipation just across the room, he did not stop his movement towards her. Will fueled by his heart, and not by his mind. A concept, he knew, would be his strength on a night like this. A beacon in the confusion, something to hold onto as they walked along the border of the mostly unmarked region of their friendship. The lighthouse that, as he approached her, may finally lead him to a home he never knew existed.
What
a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked
thing to do, to let me dream of you.
Chloe's frame, which stepped back against the wall just behind her, was soon draped in the shadows of the room, of their intentions. Nothing would stop what was now placed in motion, like the constant, reliable tick-tock of time. And though Clark would not admit it before tonight, the thought of being with Chloe, like this, stirred his desire. Stirred his soul – in no other way anyone has ever done before. A discovery, a treasure, once so deeply hidden and covered in cobwebs of the forgotten, that now sparkled under the lens of new life.
What
a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked
thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
But he wasn't in love… no, this was exactly what they planned it to be.
Right?
I want to fall in love.
The last consideration faded away completely as Clark finally closed his distance to Chloe, placed his arms on either side of her head, hands against the wall, and kissed her. Hesitantly, testing, as if he still fought the warning signals blaring inside his mind. Yet, when Chloe circled his neck with her arms, both reached a new sense of desperation. Of need. Carnal in birth, but nourished with something deeper, richer. And any inhibitions Clark may have had before, along with it the questions that still plagued him, were wiped away clean. And in their wake, promises of something better yet to come. Something waiting for them … something neither would be prepared for.
No,
I want to fall in love.
With
you.
Clark soon buried his face in her neck, sensed her warm breath on his skin. Dressed only in a light blue, button down dress shirt she often wore to work at the Daily Planet, Chloe looked and felt unbelievable, sexy and amazing. He wore only his jeans at the moment, and couldn't remember how he lost his own shirt during the speed and intensity of the night thus far. But that didn't matter to him. Only her hands, which now traced the contours of his stomach and chest with a feathery touch, deserved his attention.
Soft lips traced his jaw line, his cheek, and within moments they kissed again. This time, sweeter, softer, and he knew a moan escaped his throat when she sucked on his bottom lip. And when his hands slipped to unclasp the buttons of her shirt, Chloe let out a soft groan of her own. Encouraged by this, by what she was willing to give him, Clark pulled her tighter into his embrace, and picked her up effortlessly in his arms.
The
world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange
what desire will make foolish people do.
Willing, finally, to give her everything she wanted in return.
Willing to give this entire night over to their hearts, to their souls. To everything they never said to each other. And to the future that might be forever changed because of it. Such conclusions were inevitable, should have been expected amongst the carelessness. Amongst the craving, the need that could only be satisfied one way.
I
never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.
And I never dreamed
that I'd lose somebody like you
And though Clark first began this night with Chloe in an agreement of mutual curiosity and previously undisclosed desire, he wondered now if he would be able to keep his end of the bargain. Because a night like this could not come without the most important element to their physical attraction. The very same element that drove him further into the depths of Chloe than he ever thought possible.
No, I want to fall in love.
When he lowered her to the bed, his own form lying protectively across hers, Clark could feel it surge through him. An energy force that gave him life. Something he could not explain. Only when he lowered his lips to hers, melted into her body, into her soul, could he unveil to her what he found.
No, I want to fall in love.
In response, Chloe broke their kiss gently, momentarily, and reached a hand to his cheek. And he saw in her eyes the same, intense feelings that he shared with her in their kiss just moments ago.
Could he really walk away from this tonight? As if it never happened? Just like they agreed?
With you.
Before an answer came to him, every rational thought left completely, drained into the world he and Chloe have created only for themselves. And, seconds later, he lowered his lips to a spot just below the base of Chloe's neck …
------------------
"Clark?" came a small whisper, a sound that gently tugged at the edge of Clark's consciousness. Only then did he realize he had actually been sleeping, a rarity within his busy schedule of college and farm chores. Finally, it must have all caught up with him, enough to force his eyes closed during one of the few, rare, quiet moments he actually earned. Though he really didn't want to, especially as images from his dream lingered, yet drifted little by little from his mind, Clark opened his eyelids. And what he saw in front of him was not what he expected; Lana Lang.
His senses began to gather information quickly, and one by one he realized exactly where he was and what he was doing before he finally succumbed to his exhaustion. The familiar structure of the loft came into focus, as did the natural smells that seemed to characterize his Fortress of Solitude. He remembered instantly, then, that he came up here to get away from everyone else. Perhaps get a chance to do his homework without any interruptions to slow his pace.
Clark then felt his right cheek lying on the open American History book on his desk. I don't think I got much done …
"Clark?" Lana asked again, this time more in concern than an attempt to awake him from his much needed slumber.
He blinked again as he lifted his head from his self-made pillow, and immediately wiped his eyes to take away the last bit of sleep from his fogged mind. As his equilibrium began to restore slowly, Clark could not help but remember his dream. Slightly confused, searching for some reason that might explain it, he heard Lana say his name again.
"Yeah?" Clark finally answered, his eyes shifting from some anonymous spot on the wood floor below their feet to look up and stare at the beautiful woman before him.
A small smile tugged at Lana's lips, and she asked, "Are you okay? You seem a little … out of it."
He sighed, barely registering her words as his dream continued to swirl like a tornado in his mind, in his heart. "No, I'm fine," he whispered, knowing perfectly well it was really a lie. Because honestly, he wasn't fine. Something … something pushed him. Something … felt wrong, out of place.
Did I really dream of … Chloe? Did I really dream of … making love to her?
With the thought alone, his heart began to beat just a bit faster. But he wasn't sure if his fear, confusion … or that something else … caused it to run so quickly.
Of course, it had to be normal, right? Chloe was beautiful, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't attracted to her. He would even go so far as to say he's always been attracted to her, but it always felt more of a reaction to the obvious. She's a woman, a cute one at that … I'm around her a lot … of course I'm going to have some attraction for her. It's natural.
Furthermore, just before he took Chloe to the Spring Formal in high school, he began to dream of her in similar scenarios. So it has happened to him before. And he shouldn't be surprised. But still … he dreamt of her then because they were about to date – something he knew might happen eventually. He felt the physical and emotional attraction at that time because they both fumbled with the idea of wanting something more from their friendship. And he knew the dreams he had were his way to play out what would happen if he did let his feelings go … feelings …
Was that the something? Did he still … feel … something for Chloe, and he never knew it? Or perhaps … maybe he just ignored it, or buried it. Either way, Clark could not stop it as it continued to pulse through his veins.
"Did you still want to go to the movie?" Lana asked, breaking his train of thought as she stepped away from him.
Clark fumbled a bit through his running thoughts, desperately trying to catch up to the here and now. "Oh … that's right, we have plans tonight, don't we?" he remembered quickly, with regret, as he finally stood up from his chair. Usually he tried to take a shower and clean up before he did anything with Lana lately. Perhaps a sign of where he eventually wanted their friendship to go.
Tonight, however, he just didn't have the time. And he certainly didn't help his situation any by falling asleep. Some days he wished he could just be with someone, and not worry about appearances. When around Lana, he knows he often worries about being imperfect, or … less than worthy. Clark tried to rid himself of such a horrible outlook on his friendship and sometimes relationship with Lana, yet he couldn't fight it. For as long as he lives, he will continue to battle with such feelings.
Will I ever be comfortable with Lana?
Lana nodded, and saw the confusion that laced the features of his face, of his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?" They've been, one way or another, making plans a lot lately. In fact, she was almost sure tonight might be the first real date, if they dared call it that. So she could not help but act a little surprised when Clark seemed to forget. Not that it mattered really … there's always other nights. We've both been so busy …
Clark insisted, "Yeah, really, I'm all right. Just a little tired."
Lana smiled then and stepped closer to him. "Well, if you're too tired to do anything tonight, that's all right," she offered in a whisper. When he didn't say anything, she folded her arms casually and quickly added, "Otherwise, if we want to catch the movie, we should leave soon."
Clark heard her words, and though any other day he would jump at the chance to be with her, despite his insecurities, for some reason, it didn't feel right tonight. In fact, he felt a strong urge do something completely different. In the past, Lana was always the person he craved to be around, to love, and to be loved by. Yet, his dream would not leave him. And an urge inside of his heart would not let go.
"I'm sorry," he began quietly, "but I think I'll have to take a rain check."
Lana felt the regret she tried desperately to hide pull at the edge of her features. And with a soft, simple smile, she ensured with a nod, "That's all right. You do look like you could use some rest."
Clark thought a bit about her comment, and admitted with a hint of flare in his eyes, "No, actually … I need to do something."
"Oh."
Clark felt his dark confusion fade into light. Felt his previous, unrelenting debate ease away from his mind. And sensed exactly what he had to do. What he needed to do. Something Lana would never understand. Something he hardly understood himself. Yet his heart skipped a beat, and he discovered he could wait no longer. Could not go one more second without it.
He walked to the steps quickly, and in response, Lana followed. "I have to go see Chloe."
Lana furrowed her brow. "This late?" It was nine o'clock at night, and even if he did drive and broke the speed limits, he would just make it to Metropolis by midnight. Couldn't he call her? Or perhaps try the next day? What was so important?
With a smile meant only for one person, Clark commented, "Yeah. It can't wait."
----------------------------
It took Clark exactly ten minutes to reach the front door of Chloe's apartment in Metropolis. The rain slowed him down slightly, even though he took the fastest route possible. Drenched by his run, Clark struggled to keep his fear at bay, desperately trying to push back any chance he might have to back out from his true intentions. Anxiety seemed to drip from his heart now, a worry he never felt before when he went to see his best friend. She always comforted him, even in his darkest hours. Saw me at my worst … and took me just as I was, no questions asked. A friend when he needed one the most, a light when there was none.
And he wondered why it took him so long to see it … to feel it … to know exactly where he belonged, and whom he belonged with.
Yet tonight, he brought with him something much different than friendship. Something stronger … richer.
With a smile shaded with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation, he knocked quietly on her door. His attempt to catch his breath was the only sound in the otherwise silent hallway, and he wondered why she was taking so long to answer the door. One way or another, this moment needed to be perfect. Yet his mind whirled with what he should say or do. How do I explain myself?
Then the door opened.
When Chloe appeared, she felt amazement flush to her cheeks in red. Before her, Clark stood, wet from the rain in a light blue shirt and jeans, and looking completely exhausted. A smile crossed the surface of her lips, and she said with burning curiosity, "Clark. I didn't expect …".
But she would not be able to finish her sentence.
Seeing her, dressed casually in a red tank and jeans, put Clark over the edge. Something burst. Something drove him to an act he would never do. Gave him the courage … and he knew now exactly what it was.
And without the least bit of hesitation, he stepped right up to her, grabbed her in a warm embrace, and kissed her.
Chloe could not describe her shock, unable to completely gather all of the new information given to her in the past thirty seconds. Her mind began to swim under the warmth of Clark's lips, his strong arms, and his desire. Within moments, she responded to him, willing to give in to what he offered. Willing to feel, to chance it, to believe he really wanted this from her. Willing to accept that none of this may be real.
Clark felt her lips trace gracefully over his in response to his passion, felt her accept him, take him in.
The kiss turned sweeter, simple, as the moment slowed to something like intimacy, a deep chasm of love found again.
Then Clark quietly, regrettably, broke away slowly. And looked down into her eyes, into her beautiful face, her cheeks still a flush of red. But now because of me …
"Hi," he whispered simply, as he reached a hand to her cheek.
This … was the something … was everything I have ever wanted …
Chloe smirked and stared at him with rightful question. But it soon melted into a knowing, sweet smile. Because suddenly … she felt it.
And she whispered in return, "Hi."
Fin
