Tommy followed her as she led the way to her apartment. Her silence only confirmed to him that what he already knew. Renata had a secret that she didn't want them to know about and he was going to find out what that was before the sun rose. She stopped in front of a numberless door once they reached the fifth floor and he used the only other key on the chain to open the door. He let it swing inward so she could enter first, following after her so he could lock up. Tommy noticed she didn't stop just maneuvered through the darkness. He took that moment to turn off his phone so that way there would be no interruptions as he got to the bottom of her story.

"Doesn't it bother your fiancé that you let strange men follow you home?"

He smirked when he heard her sigh but wiped it from his face when overhead lights were switched on. He blinked and looked around, he was in a loft and from the looks of it said loft ran the entire length of the building.

"You aren't a strange man. You're a firefighter."

He let that comment go as he began to explore looking for some clue that she did indeed share this massive space with her supposed fiancé.

"Must have cost a pretty penny to lease this place."

"You came over to discuss my finances?"

Tommy watched as she moved toward a leather sofa and it's companion coffee table but something was off he could see that she was trying to act natural so he glanced at the table looking for something unusual and then he saw the box protruding from the bottom of the couch. He didn't think twice before moving to it and reaching it just before she did, her fingers grazing his in her attempt to tuck it out of sight.

"Tommy..please."

"Please what sweetcheeks? I told you that you can't bullshit a bullshitter."

"It's nothing..just some embarrassing girl things from college that I was looking through last night."

Tommy looked at her and could plainly see that she was struggling to keep her emotions under wrap. Nodding silently he looked around until he spied the pictures on the mantle, tucking the box under his arm he moves over to them looking at each one. Most of them were of a younger Renata with flowers; backstage from the looks of them the last picture in the row stopped him dead. He picked up the small frame and turned to her.

"He was there wasn't he?"

He looked down at the frame, which held a single picture of a man in standing in the lobby of one of the towers, and tucked into the top of the frame was a Cantor-Fitzgerald business card.

"Are you happy now?"

Tommy looked up at her and then at the box, thinking for a moment that the small wood box was filled with ashes.

"I'm sorry..Renata. I never thought Fuck it makes so much sense now. I'm sorry."

He moved toward her and held out the box, he had never thought that she might have lost someone that day. Why did she want to keep it a secret? Tommy was sure there was more to it, but obviously he had ruined any chance of her speaking to him again.

"You don't have to apologize, I suppose I should be getting on with my life that's what I would always tell my patients. Part of the grieving process is eventually moving on but I just can't seem to listen to my own advice."

He was floored as she took the box and retreated to the sofa, sitting down and curling up in a corner. Not sure what to do or where to go he just stayed put, holding the picture frame. She opened the box and slowly took out what at one time had been a wallet and then a very burnt company id in a plastic holder.

"I just find it hard to do when this is all I've got left to move on with."

"I'm sorry Renata."

Tommy hated how redundant he sounded but what else could he say. He had followed her home, invaded her space and opened wounds that were obviously not healed.

"You don't have to be sorry Tommy. You didn't know and this is why I didn't say anything before when I introduced myself because I can't move on, I can't shake my ghosts of that day. His remains were found besides a firemen."

"Ghosts?"

Tommy moved to the couch and sat down still holding the framed photograph in an attempt not to seem too anxious to what she had to say about ghosts.

"Yeah you know, things that come back to haunt you about events in your past."

He nodded and reluctantly reached out, placing the photograph on her small coffee table.

"A lot of folks in this town have ghosts from that day Renata."

She sighed softly and looked down at her lap, a few seconds later Tommy heard a soft sob.

"Oh fuck" He thought. He didn't do crying, he wasn't equipped to handle a crying woman and he was already planning on getting his ass out of there.

"It was my fault he was there, which means it was my fault that the firefighter died."

She had spoken so softly that Tommy had thought that he had imagined what he just heard. She blamed herself? She's been blaming herself all these years?

"Renata…" Tommy really didn't know what to say to the woman in front of him who was crying softly. Running his hands through his hair, he looked around the loft twice before moving closer to her. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around her and relaxed slightly when she didn't automatically push him away or slap him.

"Renata, they were both doing their jobs. It wasn't your fault that they were there."

She shifted slightly in his arms and shook her head.

"Tommy..I made him go in. He was off, we had just booked our honeymoon and I insisted that he go right to work and take that week off even though it was over six months away. If I hadn't done that, he'd still be alive and maybe the fireman would be as well."

Tommy knew he should say something to contradict her theory about at least her being to blame for the death of one of his comrades, but what could he say to help her see that if it hadn't been her fiancé it could have been someone else.

"Renata, I want you to listen to me. The department lost three hundred and forty three men that day, including the one found by your fiancé. It doesn't necessarily mean that the man found besides him was assisting him specifically. Your fiancé might have been coming down and he could have been going up or their final resting positions could have been caused when the tower fell. You can't blame yourself for his death."

The loft was silent after that except for the occasional sob or sniffle from Renata, which eventually faded away as the exhausted woman fell to sleep in the arms of her impromptu therapist.