What really happened on P3X595
What did she really take off?
Everyone was talking and mingling and eating strange, exotic foods. Jack stood, leaning against a tree away from everyone else. He watched the other members of SG1 happily enjoying themselves. Teal'c was talking to a young girl, he seemed quite amused by her, jumped around and asking him questions and pointing at things like his staff weapon. Daniel was standing at a table covered with many different platters of food. He was prodding what looked like some sort of cake, but you could ever be sure…He picked up a piece of it and sniffed it. It was yellowy greeny, it didn't look very appetising. Daniel shrugged and took a bite, a second later he coughed it up again. It looked as if he was choking. Jack smiled, Daniel's expression was priceless. Jack moved his gaze to the last member of his team, Carter. She seemed to be in a deep conversation with one of the locals. They seemed to be discussing all the many coloured bottles of liquid lined up on a bench outside one of the villager's tents. The bottles were all different shapes and sizes, some were tall and some were round bottomed. Jack really didn't want to know what sort of concoctions were in them, probably some sort of medicine. He didn't really want to find out, especially if it tasted like the cake that Daniel was still recovering from. Carter pointed to one of the bottles that contained a purple liquid. The villager she was talking to looked very excited and started to give her an in-depth description of it. Carter nodded and kept examining the bottles. Jack's gazing was disrupted by someone coughing and choking extremely loudly. Jack looked back to Daniel who was now lying on the ground, his face looked really pale. Some of the villagers near him started to gather around him until he was completely blocked from Jacks view. Jack decided to walk over and help his friend. He pushed passed the people crowding around until he was standing right above the heap of person that was Daniel. Daniel was wheezing and coughing a lot and his skin now seemed a pale shade of green. Jack knelt down beside him. "Cake didn't agree with you Danny?" Jack asked smiling. His remark was answered by a jet of vomit that had come from Daniel's mouth. Jack looked at his boot that was now covered in it and he shuddered. That moment Sam and the villager she had been talking to walked up through the people. Sam was about to talk when she saw Jack who was covered in Daniels vomit, she turned away and covered her nose. Boy did he smell bad. The villager was holding a bottle of green liquid. "Get him to drink this" They said to Jack. Jack looked up at the villager in disgust. "Me? Why do I have to do it?" He asked angrily. He turned to Sam. "Carter why can't you do it?" Sam was about to reply, but was but off by Teal'c. "You should be the one to do it O'Neill, because you are already…" He paused, trying to think of the word, "smelly." Was all he could say. Jack was taken back. He was about to make a rude comment back but he stopped when Daniel groaned loudly. "Argh if none of you will do it I'll do it myself!" he snapped and grabbed the bottle out of the villagers hand and drunk it all. "No! Don't drink the whole thing!" The villager exclaimed, but it was too late. Daniel looked up at the villager with an expression on his face that clearly read, would've been nice to tell me earlier! Then his eyes fluttered shut and he fainted. Everyone was silent. "Well kids, I think it's time for us to get to bed!" Jack said breaking the silence. "Teal'c, you take Daniel." Teal'c nodded and picked Daniel up, hanging him over his shoulder, he started to walk back to where they had set up camp. Sam walked back over to the bench, she remembered that the villager had told her that one of these potions was a love potion; it would make whoever you were in love with fall in love with you. This could be handy…now which one was it again, the green or the pink…? She thought to herself. "Carter hurry up!" Jack shouted to her. "Coming sir!" She said back and quickly grabbed the pink potion. A pink potion would seem more likely to be a love potion. Hehe, one dose of this and Jack will fall in love with me, I am a genius! She said to herself as she followed Jack out of the village and to their camp.
When they arrived back at their tents Teal'c placed Daniel on his sleeping bag. "Carter did that villager tell you how long he would be out for because we're going back to Earth tomorrow and I don't think Teal'c wants to carry him the 15km walk back to the gate." Sam shook her head.
"Sorry sir. All she really talked about was what they did." She replied.
"So what does that one do?" Jack asked indicating the potion she was holding. Sam blushed; she was hoping he wouldn't notice the pink potion. "Umm, it's nothing really, I just want to test it that's all."
Jack nodded and smiled. "Just don't test it one yourself, we don't want you ending up like Danny did." Sam nodded.
"Yes sir." She said and smiled. After a few moments she started to walk to her tent. "I'll be in here if anyone wants me." And with that, she disappeared into her tent. Her words echoed in Jacks head. If anyone wants me I'll be in my tent. If anyone wants me…boy did he want her, he wanted her bad…Jack shook his head! No I'm not allowed to think of her like that….but how can I resist? Oh well, he thought to himself and he disappeared into his tent. Teal'c went back to the tent Daniel was in to make sure he was alright.
Sam sat in her tent holding the bottle of pink liquid out in front of her. She grinned. Here goes nothing…She thought to herself as she took a swig from the bottle. She got a tangy taste in her mouth, it didn't taste that bad. But she didn't really care how bad it tasted; she'd do anything to get Jack to love her. And now for the test. She stood up and walked out of the tent. If the potion worked, Jack would fall in love with her at first sight…and if it didn't work, well, she didn't want to think about that. Sam ruffled her hair a bit to give it that messy look she knew Jack liked, then she walked into his tent. Jack looked up at her from where he was sitting on his sleeping bag. "Carter. Nice to knock before you come in! I could've been getting dressed for all you knew!" He said. As much as Sam would've liked Jack to be getting dressed when she walked in she couldn't let it show. "If you want people to knock first maybe you should get a doorbell." She said. Jack tried to think of a good comeback, but he couldn't. Sam loved it when he just sat there helplessly, looking all pathetic. She smiled and sat down next to him on the sleeping bag. "So what do you want Carter?" Jack asked her. Sam was a little taken back, had the potion worked? Shouldn't he be madly in love with her? "Umm, well, I just wanted to say hi…" She said. Couldn't you think of anything better to say than that! Her mind screamed at her. Sam smiled awkwardly, trying to cover up for her lame cover up. Jack smiled too, he was unable not to smile back, her smile was so infectious, it completely drew him in. "OOWW!" Sam exclaimed. Jack stopped smiling and started to look concerned.
"What is it?" He asked.
"My foot!" She said, grabbing her booted foot and cradling it in her hand.
"Here let me." Jack said as he took off her boot, but just as her boot popped off, he jumped back in surprise. Her foot was twice its usual size and getting bigger. Sam's eyes opened wide with shock. "What the…" She said, still staring at her foot. Jack sniffed the air, "What's that smell?" He said, then he started to get this dizzy look come across his face, and he passed out. "Sir? She asked leaning over him. My foot can't smell that bad." She said, she lifted her foot up to her nose to smell it, "Eww that DOES smell bad!" She said, letting her foot drop down to the ground. "I always thought the colonel to be strong, yet his one weakness seems to be my foot odour, how…disturbing" She said to herself. Her foot was still swelling and was now gigantic. "Hmm, I must've grabbed the wrong potion…I'd better take the colonel out of here, he could use some fresh air." She dragged his limp body out of the tent and placed it on the grass. Daniel, who was now awake heard the sound of a body dragging on the ground and came out of his tent to investigate. "Sam what happened…" He cut off as he caught sight of her foot, "Sam, should I even bother asking?" Sam shook her head as she sat down next to the colonel's unconscious body. Daniel walked up to Sam, then stopped mid stride, "Sam, can you smell that?" He asked as he started to wobble on the spot, then fell over in a faint. "Ok now this is getting ridiculous! My feet might smell bad, but not that bad!" She stormed of to Teal'c's tent to ask him. She walked in and was about to talk when Teal'c stared up at her, then collapsed. Sam walked outside the tent and sat on a rock. "Wow, even Teal'c fainted from my foot odour, and he's a Jaffa! This hasn't been my night." Sam said to herself. The silence of the night was broken by footsteps behind her, probably the colonel; he could now get his revenge. She had made fun of him because he smelt bad because Daniel, had vomited on him, but now she smelt twice as bad because she has a bad foot problem. She turned around only to find out that it wasn't the colonel, but the villager, "I noticed you took the foot swelling potion, I have an antidote though…"The villager stopped talking, dropped the potion and ran. "That smell! It's hideous!" They shouted as they ran back to the village. Sam sighed and picked up the bottle, good thing it hadn't broken. She drank a bit then put it back down on the ground. Her foot started to become normal size again. "That's one problem solved, now I have to cure my foot odour… actually, why do I want to, I could use this to my advantage…"
(NEXT MORNING)
"Ow my legs are sore."
"Stop complaining Carter, we've still got another 10km to the gate."
"But this pack is so heavy! Cant you carry mine?"
"No carter I will NOT carry your pack, carry your own pack."
"But sir, if you don't carry it, I'll take off my boot…"
Colonel O'Neill stopped walking, his eyes wide. "Of course I'll carry your pack Carter! Did you ever doubt I wouldn't?"
The End!
Now we all know that it was her boot she took off!
By Erin!