A/N- This wound up being quite a long chapter, and I think it actually turned out pretty good. Only you, the readers, can tell though. So, please review. It makes it easier. (The lack of reviews on this story is actually starting to scare me. I really hope people are reading and enjoying this.) Anyway, I hope you like it. Also, just a reminder, the lyrics to the Early Morning Sunset are written by me- so please, don't steal anything without asking first.

Chapter 4

"I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, but if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too. So brown eyes I'll hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear; a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere." -Death Cab for Cutie

Maria felt her heart slam in her chest as the smile spread across Kyle's face and he pushed himself away from the wall. She painfully formed a weak smile on her face. "What are you doing here?" Her voice quivered slightly as the three stood staring at each other.

Kyle laughed, taking the few steps and closing the gap between the two. He swooped her up in a hug, placing a kiss gently on her lips. "Do I need an excuse, Ria?"

Michael dropped his eyes as the two embraced, shoving his hands nervously into his pockets. He didn't want to look up and see the happiness that should rightfully be placed in Maria's eyes. Kyle was back. He cleared his throat and the pair looked toward him.

"Um, Kyle, this is Michael. He plays the drums. Michael, this is Kyle... my boyfriend." She watched as they shook hands. "The rest of the group is still back at the club. I guess you'll meet them tomorrow." The silence fell like an awkward cloak over the group, suffocating the breaths from their chests as they stood. Maria and Michael both felt the guilt growing deep inside their hearts, multiplying by the minute.

"Hey man, it's nice to meet you," Kyle said sincerely, the smile still spread across his cheeks as he shook Michael's hand. He look back toward Maria, "Ria, it's so good to see you."

Michael let his gaze skip between the two. "Well, I think I'm just going to go get some sleep," he said and their eyes drew toward him. "I'm tired, and we have another show tonight, so... I guess I'll see you both tomorrow." He turned before they could say anything and began the trek down the hallway.

Maria watched him walk away and sighed, feeling the fear beginning to ease in her chest. She turned toward Kyle and smiled lightly. "So Kyle, what made you want to come and see me?" She asked after Michael had turned the corner.

He too smiled down at her. "It's been too long, Ria. I have the day off tomorrow, so I decided to drive up after I got off work this afternoon. It wasn't hard to find your hotel; I just had to call around." Kyle leaned forward and caught her mouth in a kiss, wrapping his arms around her and breathing slowly into her hair.

"I missed you so much, Maria." He sighed, leaning his weight and his trust into her. She could feel his heart beating in his chest, pressed so closely against hers. His heart beat for her, and she felt her cheeks redden in shame as she realized that hers beat for another.

At the same time

Michael walked the bright hallway in silence, the voices of Maria and Kyle fading behind him. He fumbled for his key in his pocket, pulling it out when he reached his room and opening the door quickly.

He sighed, flipping on the switch on the wall and illuminating the room in light. He looked around the room and caught his reflection on the mirror. In it, he saw himself standing in the doorway. He stood for a moment, staring at his pale complexion before shaking his head and turning to close the door. He stopped right before the door latched. He looked at the slit in the door.

"She won't come, you idiot." He mumbled, staring at the door. Yet, he couldn't stop the hope from forming in his heart at the thought that she just might. He walked away from the door and into the room. "Kyle is back. Two dances, two kisses, and it's over." He told himself, shaking his head as if to shake the thought of her from his mind. He pulled off his clothes, turned off the light, and slid into bed, not allowing himself to think of Maria lying in Kyle's arms.

Late that night

Maria lay awake in the darkness of the room. She could feel Kyle's presence next to her and hear his slow, content breathing. Her eyes hadn't closed the entire night. She couldn't erase the look of sadness that she'd seen in Michael's eyes when Kyle had kissed her. Her mind was a daze, turning over and over the events of the evening.

She shook her head slowly, pushing herself quietly up from her position on the bed. Her feet hit the floor soundlessly and she looked back at him lying peacefully on the bed before walking quickly toward the door. She slid out, the bright hallway greeting her.

She walked slowly down the hall, watching the numbers on the doors ascend as she walked. She turned the corner and stopped, the number jumping out at her. 319. She knew that behind the door, Michael lay. She shook her head, looking down at her bare feet. She didn't know what she'd expected to find.

Quickly she turned to walk away, but stopped when something caught her eye. She could see a faint slit of darkness between Michael's door and the doorway. She felt her heart flutter as she understood; he'd left it open for her. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was truly the right thing to do, and truly what he wanted. She knew he would be sleeping- would he even want to see her?

Without another thought, she pushed the door open, casting a slit of light on the floor of his room before she closed the door quickly behind her. The darkness consumed her before her eyes could adjust. She blinked, turning her head to the side. From the construct of her room, she knew where his bed would be. As her eyes adjusted, she gasped as she looked toward the bed and saw his eyes staring back at her. He leaned over and switched on the lamp, revealing her standing at the end of his bed.

She stood in silence and he looked at her. He traced her features silently as she stood, small and vulnerable. The feelings he'd felt at the beginning of the tour played at the back of his mind as he watched her stare at him. It would be so easy. He shook his head and closed his eyes. "What do you want, Maria?" He asked quietly.

She looked toward her feet, shame creeping up her neck. What did she want? Why was she here? "I- I don't know," she admitted, looking back up into his eyes.

He stood up and walked toward her. Only inches from her, he looked down at her small form. "You need to go back," he said. As he looked at her, he realized that with only one swift movement he could wrap her in his arms and convince her to stay. He knew she longed for him to take the chance. "You need to go back to Kyle," he said firmly, pushing the thoughts from his mind.

"Michael, you don't understand, I just-" She began but he cut her off.

"I don't have to understand. Kyle is back and it's over. You know that and I know that. So, just go back to where you belong."

He didn't want her to see him, she realized as she looked up at his cold expression. He'd put his front back up; the same one he used with his friends. He was hiding again. She was no longer the one that he allowed to see his soul, but rather just another person he felt he needed to hide from. She looked into his eyes, her expression fluttering only slightly before she straightened her back and nodded. "Whatever you say, Michael." She said slowly, before turning and walked toward the door. She glanced back once, catching his eyes before slipping through the door.

He fell backward, sitting on the end of the bed. He sighed, shaking his head. She'd come and he'd pushed her away. Deep inside, he knew he was hiding, but in the outer layers of his heart he told himself that he was just doing what was best for her. He still couldn't fight the voice in his head, struggling to break through the outer layers of his heart and scream. The little voice that knew that what was best for her would have been to stay with him. Slowly, he felt the tears slip from his tired eyes.

The next day

Morning came and the group gathered for breakfast. Maria avoided Michael's eyes as she introduced Kyle to the group. The welcomed him with open arms, just as they had with her. They all ate breakfast and hit the town for shopping afterward. They'd added a second show to the city, so they wouldn't be traveling until late that night.

Kyle stayed for the show, standing in the front row with his eyes on her the entire time. Maria strummed the strings of her guitar and felt her voice rising from her chest. They'd been slowly working Maria's vocals into the show, and the entire band welcomed the change with open arms. There was something about the way her voice floated into the music that made it sound haunting.

She closed her eyes, feeling the beat of the music around her and her fingers falling over the chords effortlessly. The sweat beaded on her forehead and her heart beat faster as her voice raised into a melodic whisper, accompanying Max's in the chorus of the song.

Break the icy darkness

Sliding slowly into the gray morning light

Your words melting with the light of the sun

Over the horizon breaking

As she melts slowly into you…

Slowly into you.

She sang the words, her eyes clenched tightly shut as she felt the reflection of her soul fly out in her words. The light had come, illuminating the truth in her heart.

After the show, she stood with Kyle outside the tour bus. The rest of the band had entered the bus after wishing Kyle farewell, allowing the two a moment alone to say their goodbye. She looked up at him as he leaned down, embracing her tightly. She sighed, feeling the emptiness in her heart.

"Maria," he sighed, "Maria I'm going to miss you." He pulled back, looking into her eyes.

"It won't be long, Kyle," she reassured him and he nodded. He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips before removing her from his arms. He began to walk backwards, her eyes still on her.

"I love you Maria," He called, smiling before he turned and walked away from the bus.

"I love you too," she said softly, watching him go, her voice barely a whisper.

She turned and walked into the bus. She said her goodnights to the group gathered in the TV room, claiming she was tired and wanted to get some sleep. She walked back into the bedroom and found it deserted except for Isabel who was perched in her bunk, a book resting on her knees.

She looked up when Maria entered and smiled. "Hey Ria. Kyle seems really nice."

Maria smiled weakly. "Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"

Isabel looked at the sadness in Maria's eyes, noticing something she never had before deep within those deep eyes. "I'm sorry Maria. It's never easy saying goodbye."

Maria sighed and shook her head. "Don't worry about it Isabel; I'll be fine." She said, reaching into her bag to pull out her pajamas and avoiding Isabel's inquiring gaze.

Isabel looked at the other girl thoughtfully, tilting her head to the side. "Maria, can I ask you something?" She asked. Maria looked up and nodded and Isabel considered her words carefully.

"You and Michael…" her sentence trailed off and Maria felt the crimson creep slowly up her neck. Isabel laughed, nodding. "You and Michael," she concluded with a smile. "I don't know how I didn't see it before."

Maria shook her head, letting her weight fall into the empty bunk behind her. "There is no Michael and me, Isabel." She said, feeling her throat constrict as she spoke. "Whatever it was, it's gone. That's just the way it has to be."

"Oh Maria," Isabel sighed, turning on her side to face Maria. "I know it's not easy. Kyle was your first love; no one is asking you to forget him. It's just, if what you and Michael have is real-"

Maria laughed bitterly, cutting off Isabel's words. "Oh Isabel," she sighed, the tears flowing to her eyes. "I wish it was that easy. I wish I could simply pass Kyle away as my first love, but it runs so much deeper than anyone could ever imagine. Kyle- Kyle saved me. Kyle has pulled me away from every vice that has ever clenched my heart, and saved me from every monster that lurked in my shadows. Kyle and I have been together for so long that I can't remember a time that I wasn't dating him. Our love started off so vibrant and so true," her eyes glazed over wistfully. "That love has died with the passing of time."

Isabel looked at Maria for a moment before speaking. "Then why not end it, Maria? Maybe it's time to end things."

"That's just the thing, Isabel. I can't. Kyle and I have been together for so long that I can't remember what it's like to be without him." She sighed sadly, "and besides, it's not like Michael wants me anyway. I went to him last night after Kyle came back and he turned me away. He doesn't want me anymore."

"Maria, even if there is no Michael, maybe things should change. He could have been your sign. There are better things in the world waiting for you."

Maria smiled, looking over at Isabel gratefully. She nodded, "maybe you're right."

That night

Michael climbed slowly out of his bunk. He opened the door quietly and closed it behind him, walking the short distance toward the front of the bus. He'd laid in silence for hours, hearing the soft breathing of his friends all around him. He knew sleep would not come.

Michael took a seat in the passenger seat next to Max, not saying a word as he leaned his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes.

Max looked over at Michael sitting next to him, taking in the other man's sad features. For the first time he saw the fatigue in his features. The dark bags under his eyes stood out against his pale complexion and his limbs hung limp at his side. For the first time, Max saw the sadness in his body.

"Michael," he broke the silence and Michael turned his head to face Max. "Michael, I want to talk about Maria." He watched as a look of guilt spread across Michael's features. He began to speak but Max held up his hand. "I know I was cruel to you that night in the club, but I was just so scared. When I saw you with her, my mind just flashed back to past days. I was so scared that you were going to hurt her just like you'd done all the rest. I just couldn't watch you do it to Maria. I was so stupid and I know that. You've grown so much in the past year. I should have never said anything. You're smart enough to make your own decisions, and I now know that you would never have hurt her. I need to stop trying so desperately to watch out for you. I need to let you start making your own decisions. It wasn't until a couple days ago that I realized something. That night I saw you dancing with Maria, you were smiling. I haven't seen you smile like that in awhile. So, you deserve my apology."

Michael listened as Max finished, and shook his head sighing. "No Max, you were right. That night at the club... I was going to do to Maria just what I've always done. I could feel it growing inside of me. No matter how much I tried to suppress it, it just kept growing. I had this attraction to her and I had to have her, no matter what. The fact that she had a boyfriend only made the yearning stronger. When you stopped me that night in the club, you knocked sense into me. The second time we dance, it was no longer a dirty, vicious game. There was something else..." his voice trailed off. "That's over now, though. It's over."

"Why?" Max asked fiercely, catching Michael off-guard. "If you feel so strongly for her, Michael, then go for it. You're afraid she wants Kyle, right? Don't give up on her, Michael. I see the way you look at her... and I see the way she looks at you."

Michael let out a low laugh. "That's the thing, Max. I know she would have taken me over him. I turned her away, and I don't think she'll ever come back again."

Max looked over at him. "Don't give up, Michael. Never give up on what makes you so happy."

The next night at the hotel

"We're going to the club, Ria, do you want to come with us?" Isabel asked, examining her reflection in the mirror. She looked back toward Maria who was sitting on the hotel bed.

"No thanks, I think I'm just going to stay here for the night. I just need a night to relax and listen to music."

Isabel looked down at Maria, a worried look on her face. "Are you sure, Maria? Don't let him get to you; you can come with us if you want. I'll make sure you have someone to dance with."

Maria shook her head at the offer. "No, don't worry Isabel. I'll be fine. Go, have fun, dance with Alex." She smiled as Isabel blushed. "I don't want to see you back here tonight."

"OK, well have fun." Isabel laughed as she walked toward the door. "I'll see you later, Maria."

The door closed behind Isabel and Maria smiled, looking down at her magazine. She turned the page, not allowing her mind to wander. She knew that if she allowed herself to think, she'd inevitably think of Michael. She couldn't think of him tonight- she couldn't let herself wonder who would get to dance with him in her absence.

Maria leaned over and turned on the radio in the clock-radio next to her bed. She turned the knob and settled on a station, allowing the music to fill the silence in the room. Music had always been able to ease her racing mind. She remembered when she had first learned the guitar. She'd been so young, her small fingers falling over the chords, struggling for such a long time to perfect her playing.

As she grew older, the music had become more and more of a routine, and had worked itself more and more into her life. Kyle had never missed a show. He'd stand in the front row and watch her just as he had at the last show. She could always feel his eyes burning into her, reassuring her of his presence. She'd become his stability, and the thought of yanking that stability away frightened her more than she could ever imagine. Things were different; they had been for months.

Maria heard the faint knock above the music. Slowly she stood, wondering who would be knocking. She swung the door open and when she saw him her heart fluttered, but a part of her knew he would come.

The softness had returned to Michael's eyes as he stood shyly in the doorway. He raised his head and looked at her wordlessly, a question still posed in his eyes. He was ashamed of his past and ashamed of turning her away that night in the last hotel. When Maria looked into his eyes, she could see everything.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Maria slowly stepped back, letting him into the room. The door closed behind him and he looked at her, the sorrow running deep in his dark eyes. She looked at his sad eyes and reached up, touching his face softly, wiping the stray tears from his warm cheeks.

He took her face in his hands and leaned over quickly, his mouth connecting with hers in one fluid motion. He ran his hands over her hair as their lips moved in rhythm with the music still playing in the background.

She pulled away and smiled at him, taking his hand and leading him over to the bed. They sat down and stared at each other for a brief moment before Maria spoke. "I wasn't sure, Michael," she said softly.

He lowered his head and nodded. "I know. I'm so sorry, Maria." His eyes locked with hers. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've put you through."

Quickly Maria placed her finger over his lips to stop him. "Don't apologize, Michael. I know why you did what you did. That night in the hotel when I came to your room, I know you told me to leave because you think that it was the right thing for me. Kyle and I have been together for years and for the longest time our love ran so deep. It isn't like that anymore, though. As time changes, things change... people change. When we danced in the club, I felt you, Michael. I felt you, and I knew. I knew that if I spent the rest of my life with Kyle that I would never get to feel the way I do with you ever again."

Michael smiled as he looked over at her. "I've never been the best kid, Maria. I've done some terrible things in my life. But with you," he sighed. "With you, everything felt right. I tried to fall into my old ways, but with you it was impossible."

He finished speaking and they stared at each other from across the bed. In the background, the song on the radio changed and as the beginning chords began, they both smiled at each other.

And together there, in a shroud of frost the mountain air began to pass

Through every pane of weathered glass

And I held you closer than anyone would ever get.

Michael moved slowly over on the bed and Maria stretched out under him, their bodies fitting perfectly together as they looked into each other's eyes for assurance. With a trepidation he'd never felt, Michael leaned down and carefully kissed her, feeling her lips glide along his and allowing his hand to slide slowly along the exposed skin of her abdomen. She looked up at him, and they both knew. Their happiness wrapped around them and the music of their love played out, circling around they as they freed each other from the pains of their past. They slowly lost themselves in each other, knowing for the first time in their lives that everything they felt was real, and knowing that in each other they could find an answer.

The last song: "We Looked Like Giants" by Death Cab for Cutie (Yes, this was my Death Cab inspired chapter, I guess. :) )