A/N- OK, so I've decided that I'm one chapter from the end. So, there will be this chapter and then one more and then Early Morning Sunset will be complete. Sorry for the delay on this chapter, but I seriously hope you guys enjoy it. (It's kind of cheesy, but please bear with me.) I looooove you, reviewers. You make this story so much fun to write. Again, the Early Morning Sunset lyrics are written by me, so please ask if you want to use them. Not that they're so great or anything, they're just all lines from my poetry so I don't really want them circling the internet without my knowledge, hehe. :) So, enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 5

"We talked and then the moon was bright; your words were glowing as they drifted out of sight. And now the change of season sets in, nothing nothing feels just right. We fear these nights and then we compromise and the morning always comes. So just rest your eyes and we'll be in love... just rest your eyes and then we'll be in love again." -Azure Ray

Maria dreamt that night. She found herself immersed in the fog of smoke. It fell so thick that she could feel it squeezing her lungs and making the forms around her blurry as she tried to peer around the small room.

"Come on baby, take a hit," the voice murmured in her ear, his breath tickling her ear as he pushed the hair away from her neck. She looked over at the blurry form beside her. His lips broke into a crooked half smile. He looked so familiar but her mind was so weak, she couldn't place his face. "You know you want it," he laughed, motioning in front of him.

She looked at the mirrored table, her sins pushed into lines with the dollar bill rolled up beside them. She looked to her other side and saw Kyle slumped backward, his disapproving gaze fixed on her. He nodded toward the Coke and sighed, turning his head away from them. Although she didn't take the hit, time jumped and she could feel the blurry form above her. She felt the weight of deceit holding her down, felt herself screaming, felt the fear of loneliness sliding within her. How did she get to be so alone? How did he know exactly when to hit? Where did Kyle go?

She looked up at the form and saw the crooked smile looking back at her. Slowly she closed her eyes and let out a scream.

"Maria!" The voice dragged her out of her sleep and she opened her eyes. His form was still blurry from the sleep clogging her mind, but she saw the worried expression on Michael's face. Slowly, the shapes were forming around her and she felt the comfort of his embrace. The party from days long ago disappeared and in its place fell the small hotel room, the bed, Michael.

Michael leaned in toward her, wrapping his arm around her stomach and pulling him toward her. "Maria, are you OK? You screamed." His eyes were squinted in worry and confusion, and his hair was matted down from sleep. Slowly the events of the evening trickled back toward her and she felt the safety of his arms around her. She sighed, running her hand over his bare chest and nodded.

"Yeah Michael, I'm OK." She caught his eye and nodded again, attempting to shrug it off. "I'm sorry. I guess I was having a bad dream."

"Just as long as you're OK, Maria." He said softly, his eyes still fixed on her. "What did you dream about?"

She felt her heart drop and she turned her head to the side, afraid to meet his eyes for fear that his look of concern would bring the truth out of her. "I don't really remember," she said quietly, the lie flowing freely from her lips. She turned back toward him, "get some sleep. Morning will be here soon."

Within minutes she could hear Michael's steady breath beside her, his arm still wrapped protectively around her. She hadn't dreamed of those days for a long time. She hadn't let herself remember the past and the days she'd tried so hard to forget. She couldn't let herself remember the smoky rooms, the elevated feeling of being free, the darkness of lost memories and lost time. She couldn't let herself remember Rick and how he tried so hard to steal her soul.

Slowly she turned over and closed her eyes, feeling the tears stain the pillow as she drifted off into a dark, dreamless sleep.

The Next Day

Word spread quickly among the group, and by evening Maria knew that everyone knew that she and Michael were different than they used to be. No one said anything, but by the knowing glances and small smiles in her direction she understood. They'd known Michael their whole lives; it was only natural that they could sense the shift.

That night they had another show. About an hour before the show Maria was walking around in the backstage area searching for Liz. She felt a hand grab hers, and she was quickly pulled off to the side into the shadows. She leaned her body up against the wall and smiled when she saw Michael grinning mischievously at her.

She laughed. "Yes, Michael? Did you have something you needed to tell me?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Nah, I just couldn't resist the opportunity to drag you into a dark corner and have my way with you," he whispered, smiling as he stepped toward her and pressed his body weight against her, pinning her to the wall. "Don't you feel violated?"

"Oh, in every way." She nodded sincerely, leaning forward and pressing her lips against his.

He leaned forward and placed his mouth by her ear. "Come to my room tonight. They're all going clubbing, but I want to stay with you; we can talk," he whispered, pulling away to look in her eye.

She nodded, "of course." She felt her cheeks flush, knowing that there was so much she hadn't yet told him of her past. Her mind was flooded with hidden memories that she had never revealed to anyone… anyone but Kyle, that is. She knew that he could have no idea, looking at her today, the darkness that had once wrapped itself around her.

He moved away slowly and smiled. "See you tonight, Maria," he said and waved as she continued on her quest to find Liz.

That Night

She could feel his eyes on her at the concert that night. Unlike before, however, the feeling brought her comfort and stability. She could feel him backing her up as her melodies blended ominously with Max's, and as she sang the words to the song she'd written with Max a few weeks ago, she turned slowly to face him.

You are the sun forever lighting my sky

You push away the raindrops,

Wiping away the tears from the beautiful face of heaven.

Your smile warms the dawn of tomorrow

You are the sun,

I am your day,

And you will forever make me brighter.

Brighter…

Brighter.

He smiled at her as she finished the song and the crowd burst out in applause. Through the haze of the cigarette smoke hanging thick in the air, she could see the promises etched deep within his eyes and, for a moment, she felt safe.

After the show, the group headed to the motel to shower and change, and then the others headed off for a local club. Maria stood in front of the mirror for a long moment after Isabel had left their room. She looked at her fair skin, the blonde hair framing her face, her light eyes. As she looked at herself in the mirror, so healthy and alive, her mind shifted. Slowly, she watched as her form transitioned from the lively person that she'd allowed herself to become, back to the Maria she'd been so many days before. She saw the circles under her eyes, her sunken cheeks, the dark eyeliner setting off her dark eyes, her limp hair falling toward her shoulders in a tangled mess.

There were so many memories she'd forced herself to forget, and with the help of Kyle, she had been able to forget. He'd helped her push her past away and forge her future. It felt impossible to think that she was now going to push him out as well. Kyle, the only one who'd stood by her and saved her from the smoky parties, the boy with the crooked smile, and the familiar white lines on a cracked mirror.

She quickly pulled her eyes away from her reflection, pushing the memories back under the surface of her brain, and reached down to buckle her shoe. When she looked back up at the mirror, she was back; the same lively, energetic Maria stared back at her that she'd gotten used to over the past months of freedom from her past.

She grabbed her key off the night side table, flicked off the lights, and walked through the door out into the hallway. She walked quickly to Michael's room, her nerves jumping with every step. She had tried to not think of the things she was going to reveal to Michael that night, and tried even harder to not think of the way he'd react.

She knocked lightly at the door and within moments Michael opened it. The smile spread across his face, drawing his eyes into thin lines as he looked at her. "You look amazing, Maria." He moved aside to let her into the room.

She smiled as she looked around the room. He'd turned down the lights and placed candles around the room. On the table in the corner he'd laid out a meal and there was champagne cooling in the plastic ice bucket on the bed-side table. She looked back at Michael and laughed, "very romantic, Michael." She said, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him toward her.

"Well, I work with what I have," he said, laughing as well, as he leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips. He led her over to the table and pulled out her chair for her. After he sat, they began eating slowly in silence. There was a tension between them- she could feel it as she chewed her food silently. They both knew what they wanted and they knew what each other wanted, but they also understood that there were mountains separating them from this happiness. There were so many obstacles that still needed to be faced and Maria feared that she didn't have the strength to face them.

When they finished their meal Maria looked up, catching his eye. "We do need to talk, Michael." She said quietly and slowly he nodded, taking her hand and leading her toward the bed. They sat side by side and Maria looked down at her hands. She knew what she needed to tell him but she didn't know how to begin.

"Michael, there's this whole other part of me." She said, raising her eyes to meet his. "There's this whole other part of me that you don't know. Really, no one knows it anymore. I was so different before I came here and I've been through so much pain in my life that, looking at me now, no one can even see. I've been so scared of my past for so long. When I came on tour with you all I was so excited to be somewhere where no one could judge me anymore for things in the past, because no one knew of my past. I know that the only way that you'll ever truly understand me, though, is if I finally let this all go. I need to stop hiding from the things in my past, and so that's why I've decided to tell you. Everything."

She stopped for a moment and Michael took her hand. "Whatever it is, Maria, you know I'll listen."

She smiled, letting him see that she did know. She looked down at their fingers entwined between them and sighed, feeling something inside of her release as the words began to fall from her lips. "When I was in high school I got into some… some really bad things. Kyle and I had been going out since our freshman year, but around the time of our junior year I began to grow restless and bored. I started hanging around with this guy Rick a lot and I started drifting away from Kyle. I'd go to parties every weekend, I started drinking heavily, and I grew dangerously addicted to cocaine. It's hard for me to admit how dependent on those stupid drugs I was, but it's true. I felt like I needed them to live, and I started doing anything I could to get my next hit. Kyle became a side note as I pushed him out more and more every day. Rick was my lifeline- he was my connection to the life that I had grown to love and he was the one that provided me with every drug I could imagine.

"It was the night of a party my senior year that I finally saw the consequences of my actions, and I finally saw the pain that I was bringing not only myself, but everyone around me. Kyle and I went to this party and I took a few hits, but something was off that night and my judgment blurred. Rick..." Maria felt her voice crack as the tears began to pool under her closed eyelids. She felt Michael's grip on her tighten and she continued. "Rick must have put something in the cocaine or the alcohol or something. He knew how dependent I was. I wasn't just dependent on the cocaine, I was dependent on him. He put something in it, and he tried to rape me. The only reason he didn't succeed is because Kyle found us before he could and he… he saved me. Kyle saved me and forced me to see that I was tearing myself apart day by day.

"After that night I got clean, and I began to cling to a new drug- Kyle. We grew closer than we ever had before and I felt like I would collapse without him. A year or so ago things began to slip between us, and things haven't been the same. That's why I came on tour. I needed to get away from that town and from Kyle and just think. Everyone in that stupid town thinks of me in the same way. No matter how clean I get, I'll still be crazy, coked up Maria. Even Kyle thinks of me that way still in a way, even though he'll never admit it. He knows he saved my life and he knows that I need him... needed him. I needed him because no one else had ever looked at me like he did. No one else could look past the drugs and my screw ups and just see me for who I was. That's why Kyle and I are so close, and that's why it seemed impossible for me to ever break up with him. I've been with Kyle for longer than I can remember, and until I came on tour I never thought of being with another man." Maria's eyes flicked upward as she took a breath. "Until I met you. I'm so scared of pushing away everything I have ever known and I'm so scared of admitting to you that I was once so weak and dependent, but here I am, Michael. This is me. I'm crazy and I've messed up in the past but I'm just Maria."

Maria stopped and blinked, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks with her spare hand. Her eyes were locked on Michael's when he reached up and grabbed her hand as it ran over her damp cheek. With his thumb he brushed away the tears, still holding her hand in his. She watched as a small smile formed on his lips.

"You don't need Kyle anymore, Maria. I can see you. Do you remember the first day I met you?" He held her eyes as she nodded, thinking back to the hot, summer day in Roswell. "I don't let people in, Maria. It's extremely hard for me. That night I walked you home, I needed to walk you home, because I needed to let you in. I saw you the first time I met you. When I was in high school I wasn't the best person either. I was terrible toward girls- I would lead them on and leave them hanging; it was the name of my game. I never let anyone in yet I was allowed to feel on the top of the world. The deception gave me this unnatural high that I couldn't replace with anything. When I danced with you the first time, I was drawn to you like I'd never felt before. Max saw us and confronted me outside the bathroom, begging me to not go back to my old ways. The thing is," he placed his hand on her cheek, "it wasn't about that with you. I see you, Maria."

Maria felt her breath catch as she looked into his eyes. Her lips spread into a smile and she leaned forward, placing her lips on him. "And you, Michael... I feel you."

Together they sat side by side in the dim light of the room. They sat in silence, their words still echoing through the room and through their hearts. Each one of them had pasts of deception and addiction, but each one had worked their way out. They sat next to each other on the eve of a new life. In each other they saw a future. Although there were still so many mountains to cross, Maria felt safe as she leaned her weight against Michael's chest. She felt safe passing her dependence onto the boy she'd met in Roswell who'd known her the first time he saw her.