Kaoru sat on the ground, leaning against a fence post, idly chewing on a
blade of grass while she watched the horses enclosed inside the pasture.
Karuna was grazing alongside a dapple-gray mare that she recognized as
Megumi's own horse. The bright sunlight intensified the golden gloss of
Karuna's coat and her white mane fell across her neck like a waterfall of
silk.
Karuna raised her head suddenly from the grass, half-eaten strands poking out at the corners of her mouth. Her forelock hung over her eyes and she peered through it, looking at something at the other end of the pasture.
Fiachra.
Kaoru snorted in amusement as the mare nickered at him and trotted over to where the stallion was standing. They touched noses in greeting, nickering softly, and Karuna settled down to graze next to him.
My horse has a better love life than I do, Kaoru mused. I wonder what that says about me?
With a sigh Kaoru got to her feet and pushed herself away from the fence, brushing off the loose pieces of grass that clung to her clothes. Tilting her head back she brushed her bangs out of her eyes, her gaze skyward. The sky was blue without a trace of cloud, clear, empty and endless. Lonely almost, she thought.
A tingle suddenly ran down her spine and she shivered, hands rising to rub away the goosebumps that had suddenly sprung up on her arms. Her stomach twisted and she closed her eyes against the nausea that unexpectedly rose within her. For several moments she stood stiffly, waiting for the nausea to recede in intensity. The sensation was familiar, almost too familiar. Kaoru sternly clamped down on that thought before it could go any further.
Off a bit away she could hear the ring of blades meeting one another and muffled cries of fighting. Someone was sparring. More than a few someones, Kaoru found as she walked toward the place where the sounds were coming from.
A ring had formed around those sparring. Peering over the shoulders of the people in front of her Kaoru could finally see who they were, and the identity of the two surprised her: Enishi and Kenshin.
Both had swords in hand-real ones, not the practice bokkens that were normally used. Kenshin sported a cut above his eye that still trickled blood and was ringed by a quickly darkening bruise. Enishi was favoring his right leg slightly.
Kaoru pushed through the crowd of onlookers to the front for a better view. The two rushed at each other, blades meeting and pushing against one another. Kenshin wrenched free and leapt backward to land a few feet away, a scant foot from the ring of onlookers and just in front of Kaoru. Enishi stepped backwards as well, to give them distance. They circled each other warily in a manner that reminded Kaoru of wild fighting cats: looking for any breaks in defense or weaknesses that could be exploited.
Enishi said something to Kenshin that Kaoru could not catch. Then to her surprise he dropped the sword he held, tossing it so that it landed at Kenshin's feet.
Was he giving up? She wondered. Enishi didn't seem the type to give up easily or willingly.
As she looked on Enishi closed his eyes. The air became tight and expectant- for what she did not know. Minutes passed slowly. The wind began to pick up, starting out gentle and then becoming stronger with each passing moment. It whipped and curled around Enishi and Kenshin, causing Kenshin's hair to lift and dance about his head but barely stirring Enishi's own.
Subtly, barely perceptible at first, a glow began to surround Enishi. It was not the colorless shimmer of before but slightly darker-pure silver. It edged his body and features and pooled in his eyes, turning them from turquoise to silvery-blue and finally just silver. It was a sight that drew murmurs of surprise from those watching. The tingling-nausea returned once more and Kaoru gritted her teeth against it.
The glow around Enishi began to writhe and twist as if alive. It trailed down his arms and began to concentrate and collect itself in his hand, shaping itself into a form that vaguely resembled a sword.
The nausea made Kaoru sway in an effort to keep from falling to the ground. She could taste blood in her mouth and distantly she realized she had been biting her tongue. Memories rose up against her, pounding at the barriers she had built up against them. She could feel them cracking, the memories slipping through like water to engulf her.
~*~
Darkness.
Let me go! I don't want to be here! Leave me alone! Go away!
A low chuckle. Hands reach for her.
Push away. Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
The hands grab her wrists and pin her arms to her sides. She's shoved backward. Something hard presses against her back. A wall?
Don't touch me! Pleading. Crying. Tears run down her face. Push against him. Fight. Let me go! His hands on her. Don't touch me! Don't touch-
His mouth against hers.
She's falling . . .
Fractured images assault her. Memories? Thoughts?
He pulls away screaming as if to wake the dead. She slides bonelessly against the wall to the floor. He lays curled up in a fetal position a few feet away. His eyes are wide and unseeing, looking past her. He continues to scream. She just watches him-there's nothing else she can do.
Someone is pounding at the door. It opens with a violent wrench and light spills into the darkened room.
"What did you do to him?"
"I don't know!"
"What did you do to him?!"
~*~
Kenshin's gaze was torn from Enishi, the hairs prickling on the back of his neck. He turned just in time to see Kaoru sway on her feet and then collapse to the ground. In an instant he was at her side to see what had happened, putting his duel with Enishi out of his mind for the moment.
He knelt down beside her as the crowd parted around them. She was unconscious. Fainted? Kaoru did not seem the type to faint easily if at all. Her skin was paler than normal, her cheekbones standing out in sharp relief. Her breathing was shallow.
Kenshin placed two fingers to the underside of her jaw, feeling for her pulse. A stinging tingle spread across his hand where it touched her skin and he jerked away reflexively.
Magic?
Could Kaoru do magic?
"Get Megumi," he ordered one of the nearest onlookers. The man bobbed his head and dashed away.
~*~
Kaoru curled into herself in a manner not unlike His, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs tightly. Tears flowed from her eyes, leaving trails of wetness down her cheeks with their passing.
"Shh, little one," Shulya said soothingly. "It was just a memory. It cannot harm you anymore."
"I hurt him though. Unintentionally, maybe, but I still hurt him."
"You had no control over it. You still do not."
"I know." Kaoru's voice was low with self-reproach. "And the thought that it could happen again scares me."
"It should. Your feelings and thoughts are correct in this matter."
Kaoru blinked at her. "What do mean?"
"By fearing it you will be cautious and less likely to hurt someone than one who does not fear. Fear is not always a good thing, little one, but in this case it is."
Kaoru nodded, rubbing at her red-rimmed eyes with a closed fist. "I understand."
"Good." Shulya sounded pleased. "Now what will you do about it?"
"What do you mean?" Kaoru echoed her earlier question, confusion clearly visible on her features.
"You have no control over it, little one. Untamed and wild it is."
"I don't know if there is even a way to gain control of it. It's not a wild horse that you can train and domesticate into doing your will."
"That is where you are wrong. You can gain mastery over it-all you need is a teacher."
Kaoru snorted softly. "Where am I supposed to get a teacher? This isn't the same as being taught how to wield a blade."
"Oh I'm sure you'll find a teacher, little one, that you will."
Something in her voice caused Kaoru to narrow her eyes suspiciously at Shulya. "Do you know something that I don't?"
"It is not for me to say, that it is not," Shulya murmured.
"Fate and destiny?" Kaoru questioned.
Shulya's silence was her own response.
Kaoru sighed. "You cannot tell me. I understand."
"To do so would upset everything, little one. Change what is before you, alter, warp . . ."
"I will not ask you anymore," Kaoru said softly.
Shulya smiled at her. "I thank you. Too many questions you ask and the answers you seek must be kept unknown and hidden from you. It is not of my choosing to do this, but it must be done."
"You need not explain any further." Kaoru could see the edges of her vision beginning to blur together and dim. "I must be going now I guess. Until the next time we meet."
"Stay safe little one," Shulya said in parting.
~*~
Kaoru awoke with a raging headache. It clamped itself around her temples in a vice like grip. Gingerly she reached up to touch her forehead, wincing as the inquiring contact made her headache become even more painful.
"You gave us quite a scare."
Kaoru turned her head to see Megumi standing a few feet away, a look of annoyance on her face. The annoyance was directed towards Kaoru.
"What happened?" Kaoru asked. "I don't remember."
"You fainted."
"Fainted?" Kaoru was surprised. "I don't faint."
"Well obviously now you do."
"Obviously," Kaoru agreed. "The last thing I remember is Kenshin and Enishi sparring, and Enishi . . . he was doing something."
"Enishi was showing off." Megumi rolled her eyes. "And that's probably why you fainted. Some people have adverse reactions to magic."
"No," Kaoru shook her head. "It wasn't because of that. It was because of something else . . ." She could feel the memories just waiting to unleash themselves upon her once more and pushed them away violently.
"Something else?" Megumi prodded.
"Nothing . . . forget about it."
Megumi planted her hands on her hips and the look of annoyance grew on her face. "You're hiding something."
"It is of no significance." Kaoru told her. That was a lie and they both knew it. Kaoru dropped her gaze to the floor. "I do not wish to talk about it."
"So be it." Megumi sniffed. "You seem to be well enough."
"Except for a headache," Kaoru muttered lowly. "Could you stop talking so loudly please?"
Megumi made a tsking noise. "Serves you right."
Kaoru winced and closed her eyes-the lights were too bright for her to stand comfortably.
"You know, I think you even worried Kenshin."
Kaoru reopened her eyes even as the headache escalated with the reintroduction to light. "What do you mean?"
"He was concerned."
"About me?"
"Yes you idiot," Megumi said crisply. "He does care about you."
"He doesn't show it, not really."
"If one knows how to look for it, one can see," Megumi said. Her voice was tinged with wistfulness. "I wish you could have met him how he was before."
"So do I," Kaoru said truthfully.
"The person he was before-Shinta-I fear is dead and will never return to us."
"As long as he is alive there is hope that he will," Kaoru murmured.
"That is the problem," Megumi said softly.
Once more Kaoru got the feeling she was being kept out of a secret that everyone else knew. She hated the feeling. "Why is that?"
Megumi shook her head. "I am not the one to tell you."
"Then who is?" Kaoru persisted. "Everyone else but me knows what is going on! Why am I different? Why must I be continually kept in the dark?"
"Because that is how it must be." And Megumi would not have another word said about the matter. "Here." She dug around in the small pouch that was belted around her waist and handed Kaoru what seemed to be two small seeds.
"What are they?" Kaoru asked, taking them from her. She sniffed them and sneezed instantly, the spicy smell of the seeds tickling her nose.
"They'll help with your headache."
"Thanks." Kaoru popped them into her mouth and chewed them, making a face at the sour taste they left in her mouth. "They taste awful."
"They work," Megumi told her. "Stop complaining."
"Guess they do," Kaoru admitted. She could already feel the headache receding in intensity.
"Go back to sleep. I'll bring you some broth when you wake up later."
"Doesn't that sound appetizing," Kaoru muttered, closing her eyes. She heard Megumi walk away from the pallet and a creak as the door was opened and closed. Then sleep grabbed her again and she was thrust back into memory-filled dreams.
~*~
"What did you do to him?"
"I don't know. Honestly I don't!"
"He's dead now."
"I know."
"You know."
"Yes."
"How?"
"I felt him die."
"You felt him die?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"I don't know."
"How do you not know?"
"I just don't!"
"Liar."
"I honestly don't know! I don't know what I did to him! I'm sorry; I never meant to do it!"
"You killed him."
"I didn't mean to!"
"He's dead because of you."
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"
"One you caused!"
"Do you know what he was trying to do to me?"
"Yes."
"And you don't even care?"
"No."
"I hate you. I hate you all."
"Will you try to kill us too?"
"No! It was an accident! I never meant to!"
"Then what did you mean to do?"
"I just wanted him to go away, to leave me alone."
"Well you got your wish granted. He's gone away and he'll never bother you again."
"I never wished for that."
"It still happened."
"I know!"
"Are you happy?"
"No, why should I be? I have no reason to be happy . . . what are you going to do to me now?"
"What do you think we should do to you?"
"Are you going to kill me? Put me to death?"
"Do you wish to die?"
I don't know . . ."
"We may yet have a use for you."
"I don't want to be useful to you if you want to use me for what I can do."
"You'd be alive."
"I'd be alive-alive and damned. I won't be a murderer for you."
"A pity."
"I won't be a killer. I never meant to kill him."
"You feel too much to be an effective weapon."
"Is that a compliment or an insult?"
"Take it as you wish."
"Leave me alone."
"I can't do that Kaoru. You know I can't."
"Sure you can. You can lock me up in one of those stinking dungeons."
"You almost sound as if you wish to be put in a dungeon."
"Almost . . ."
"Well that won't happen. We've decided your fate."
"Please tell me then. I'd like to be prepared."
"You're going to Hiten to marry the King."
"What did I do to deserve this honor?"
"Let's just say, we want you as far away from us as possible."
"I honestly don't blame you."
"No, I didn't think you would."
"Why am I really going to Hiten?"
"For the exact reasons I just told you."
"No catches or strings attached?"
"Absolutely none."
"Sounds too good to be true."
"Do you honestly think we'd send a real Full-Blood to Hiten when we could send a Half-Blood like you?"
"Get the Tainted One out of the country and away from the Royals in case she decides to kill them and still forge an alliance. I hate games. Don't use me like some stupid pawn."
"That's all you are Kaoru. That's all any of us are."
"So when am I leaving?"
"Soon. Very soon."
"Wonderful."
"Sarcasm does not become you."
"I don't honestly care."
"You'll be leaving soon."
"When exactly?"
"I do not know. You will be tutored in proper manners before leaving."
"With a guard in the room ready and willing to kill me in case I try anything, right?"
"Correct."
"Leave me now."
"Are you ordering me around?"
"No. I'm just a lowly little bastard servant; there's no way I could order you around."
"Good. I'll be leaving now since I've said all I need to say to you."
"Goodbye."
~*~
~*~
::grin:: Much evilness (and confusion) regarding Kaoru-chan!! And soon I'm going to start developing Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship! (You're all glad to hear that I think) Please look forward to it!
Review Responses:
No-One-Of-Impotance: ^.^ Arigatou!
Alli: ^.~ I'm having so much fun with this puppy! ::bounces::
Poppy2: ^.^ ::makes duplicate Kenshin's:: that way I can have a Kenshin, Kaoru can have a Kenshin and you can have a Kenshin! We're all happy now!
Morgannia: The plot is starting to pick up though it'll still take a while. ^.^
Kei-chan: Yes (almost) everybody except for Kaoru knows what's going on and she's the only one left in the dark. Poor Kaoru. And as for not receiving my Author-Alert FF.net has been messing it up lately - I'm not receiving some of my own AA's either!
Ixchen: Thanks ::grin::
Pia Bartolini: K/K action on the horizon! Look hard though!
JML: ^.^ I agree I'm a bit sick of Kaoru vs. Tomoe for Kenshin's heart type stuff so I'm deliberately staying away from it.
Snow White Hyatt: Love all your reviews! ^.~
Teddy Grahms: ::blinkety blink:: Now that you mention it YES! She does. Creepy O.o; It was not my intention honestly.
Hoshi-ni-Onegai: This fic is intentionally confusing it's the way my muses like it ::glares at them:: Well said about both Tomoe and Enishi! ::waves flag:: And yes I know about the meaning of Kenshin/Shinta's name ::cower:: I apologize eep!
Pretty Luthien: I got the book but then my friend borrowed it and I haven't seen it since ~.~; Actually I see a lot more Robin McKinley influence in the fic than I do Tolkien (I love Tolkien though!) Oddly enough Memory, Sorrow and Sword makes me think I'm channeling her book "The Blue Sword." K/K is on the horizon!
Punky1: It's going to be long (hopefully not as long as Sky Dweller because that fic is starting to get warped - in a good way, 25 chapters and I can see at least another 10 more for that fic plus a sequel ::Sky Dweller Fans cheer in the background::) but it will be long I'm thinking around 30 chapters (not sure at this point though).
Califpinay3001: Thanks!
Tan-chan!: ^.^ Next chapter is up! Get CDRS up ASAP!!!
Clearsunrise: Glad you like it! ^.~
KawaiiChica: You reviewed didn't you? ^.^ Thanks!
Crystal Renee: You do the same thing I do with Cliffhangers! ::gets rotten fruit thrown at her by readers::
Karuna raised her head suddenly from the grass, half-eaten strands poking out at the corners of her mouth. Her forelock hung over her eyes and she peered through it, looking at something at the other end of the pasture.
Fiachra.
Kaoru snorted in amusement as the mare nickered at him and trotted over to where the stallion was standing. They touched noses in greeting, nickering softly, and Karuna settled down to graze next to him.
My horse has a better love life than I do, Kaoru mused. I wonder what that says about me?
With a sigh Kaoru got to her feet and pushed herself away from the fence, brushing off the loose pieces of grass that clung to her clothes. Tilting her head back she brushed her bangs out of her eyes, her gaze skyward. The sky was blue without a trace of cloud, clear, empty and endless. Lonely almost, she thought.
A tingle suddenly ran down her spine and she shivered, hands rising to rub away the goosebumps that had suddenly sprung up on her arms. Her stomach twisted and she closed her eyes against the nausea that unexpectedly rose within her. For several moments she stood stiffly, waiting for the nausea to recede in intensity. The sensation was familiar, almost too familiar. Kaoru sternly clamped down on that thought before it could go any further.
Off a bit away she could hear the ring of blades meeting one another and muffled cries of fighting. Someone was sparring. More than a few someones, Kaoru found as she walked toward the place where the sounds were coming from.
A ring had formed around those sparring. Peering over the shoulders of the people in front of her Kaoru could finally see who they were, and the identity of the two surprised her: Enishi and Kenshin.
Both had swords in hand-real ones, not the practice bokkens that were normally used. Kenshin sported a cut above his eye that still trickled blood and was ringed by a quickly darkening bruise. Enishi was favoring his right leg slightly.
Kaoru pushed through the crowd of onlookers to the front for a better view. The two rushed at each other, blades meeting and pushing against one another. Kenshin wrenched free and leapt backward to land a few feet away, a scant foot from the ring of onlookers and just in front of Kaoru. Enishi stepped backwards as well, to give them distance. They circled each other warily in a manner that reminded Kaoru of wild fighting cats: looking for any breaks in defense or weaknesses that could be exploited.
Enishi said something to Kenshin that Kaoru could not catch. Then to her surprise he dropped the sword he held, tossing it so that it landed at Kenshin's feet.
Was he giving up? She wondered. Enishi didn't seem the type to give up easily or willingly.
As she looked on Enishi closed his eyes. The air became tight and expectant- for what she did not know. Minutes passed slowly. The wind began to pick up, starting out gentle and then becoming stronger with each passing moment. It whipped and curled around Enishi and Kenshin, causing Kenshin's hair to lift and dance about his head but barely stirring Enishi's own.
Subtly, barely perceptible at first, a glow began to surround Enishi. It was not the colorless shimmer of before but slightly darker-pure silver. It edged his body and features and pooled in his eyes, turning them from turquoise to silvery-blue and finally just silver. It was a sight that drew murmurs of surprise from those watching. The tingling-nausea returned once more and Kaoru gritted her teeth against it.
The glow around Enishi began to writhe and twist as if alive. It trailed down his arms and began to concentrate and collect itself in his hand, shaping itself into a form that vaguely resembled a sword.
The nausea made Kaoru sway in an effort to keep from falling to the ground. She could taste blood in her mouth and distantly she realized she had been biting her tongue. Memories rose up against her, pounding at the barriers she had built up against them. She could feel them cracking, the memories slipping through like water to engulf her.
~*~
Darkness.
Let me go! I don't want to be here! Leave me alone! Go away!
A low chuckle. Hands reach for her.
Push away. Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
The hands grab her wrists and pin her arms to her sides. She's shoved backward. Something hard presses against her back. A wall?
Don't touch me! Pleading. Crying. Tears run down her face. Push against him. Fight. Let me go! His hands on her. Don't touch me! Don't touch-
His mouth against hers.
She's falling . . .
Fractured images assault her. Memories? Thoughts?
He pulls away screaming as if to wake the dead. She slides bonelessly against the wall to the floor. He lays curled up in a fetal position a few feet away. His eyes are wide and unseeing, looking past her. He continues to scream. She just watches him-there's nothing else she can do.
Someone is pounding at the door. It opens with a violent wrench and light spills into the darkened room.
"What did you do to him?"
"I don't know!"
"What did you do to him?!"
~*~
Kenshin's gaze was torn from Enishi, the hairs prickling on the back of his neck. He turned just in time to see Kaoru sway on her feet and then collapse to the ground. In an instant he was at her side to see what had happened, putting his duel with Enishi out of his mind for the moment.
He knelt down beside her as the crowd parted around them. She was unconscious. Fainted? Kaoru did not seem the type to faint easily if at all. Her skin was paler than normal, her cheekbones standing out in sharp relief. Her breathing was shallow.
Kenshin placed two fingers to the underside of her jaw, feeling for her pulse. A stinging tingle spread across his hand where it touched her skin and he jerked away reflexively.
Magic?
Could Kaoru do magic?
"Get Megumi," he ordered one of the nearest onlookers. The man bobbed his head and dashed away.
~*~
Kaoru curled into herself in a manner not unlike His, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs tightly. Tears flowed from her eyes, leaving trails of wetness down her cheeks with their passing.
"Shh, little one," Shulya said soothingly. "It was just a memory. It cannot harm you anymore."
"I hurt him though. Unintentionally, maybe, but I still hurt him."
"You had no control over it. You still do not."
"I know." Kaoru's voice was low with self-reproach. "And the thought that it could happen again scares me."
"It should. Your feelings and thoughts are correct in this matter."
Kaoru blinked at her. "What do mean?"
"By fearing it you will be cautious and less likely to hurt someone than one who does not fear. Fear is not always a good thing, little one, but in this case it is."
Kaoru nodded, rubbing at her red-rimmed eyes with a closed fist. "I understand."
"Good." Shulya sounded pleased. "Now what will you do about it?"
"What do you mean?" Kaoru echoed her earlier question, confusion clearly visible on her features.
"You have no control over it, little one. Untamed and wild it is."
"I don't know if there is even a way to gain control of it. It's not a wild horse that you can train and domesticate into doing your will."
"That is where you are wrong. You can gain mastery over it-all you need is a teacher."
Kaoru snorted softly. "Where am I supposed to get a teacher? This isn't the same as being taught how to wield a blade."
"Oh I'm sure you'll find a teacher, little one, that you will."
Something in her voice caused Kaoru to narrow her eyes suspiciously at Shulya. "Do you know something that I don't?"
"It is not for me to say, that it is not," Shulya murmured.
"Fate and destiny?" Kaoru questioned.
Shulya's silence was her own response.
Kaoru sighed. "You cannot tell me. I understand."
"To do so would upset everything, little one. Change what is before you, alter, warp . . ."
"I will not ask you anymore," Kaoru said softly.
Shulya smiled at her. "I thank you. Too many questions you ask and the answers you seek must be kept unknown and hidden from you. It is not of my choosing to do this, but it must be done."
"You need not explain any further." Kaoru could see the edges of her vision beginning to blur together and dim. "I must be going now I guess. Until the next time we meet."
"Stay safe little one," Shulya said in parting.
~*~
Kaoru awoke with a raging headache. It clamped itself around her temples in a vice like grip. Gingerly she reached up to touch her forehead, wincing as the inquiring contact made her headache become even more painful.
"You gave us quite a scare."
Kaoru turned her head to see Megumi standing a few feet away, a look of annoyance on her face. The annoyance was directed towards Kaoru.
"What happened?" Kaoru asked. "I don't remember."
"You fainted."
"Fainted?" Kaoru was surprised. "I don't faint."
"Well obviously now you do."
"Obviously," Kaoru agreed. "The last thing I remember is Kenshin and Enishi sparring, and Enishi . . . he was doing something."
"Enishi was showing off." Megumi rolled her eyes. "And that's probably why you fainted. Some people have adverse reactions to magic."
"No," Kaoru shook her head. "It wasn't because of that. It was because of something else . . ." She could feel the memories just waiting to unleash themselves upon her once more and pushed them away violently.
"Something else?" Megumi prodded.
"Nothing . . . forget about it."
Megumi planted her hands on her hips and the look of annoyance grew on her face. "You're hiding something."
"It is of no significance." Kaoru told her. That was a lie and they both knew it. Kaoru dropped her gaze to the floor. "I do not wish to talk about it."
"So be it." Megumi sniffed. "You seem to be well enough."
"Except for a headache," Kaoru muttered lowly. "Could you stop talking so loudly please?"
Megumi made a tsking noise. "Serves you right."
Kaoru winced and closed her eyes-the lights were too bright for her to stand comfortably.
"You know, I think you even worried Kenshin."
Kaoru reopened her eyes even as the headache escalated with the reintroduction to light. "What do you mean?"
"He was concerned."
"About me?"
"Yes you idiot," Megumi said crisply. "He does care about you."
"He doesn't show it, not really."
"If one knows how to look for it, one can see," Megumi said. Her voice was tinged with wistfulness. "I wish you could have met him how he was before."
"So do I," Kaoru said truthfully.
"The person he was before-Shinta-I fear is dead and will never return to us."
"As long as he is alive there is hope that he will," Kaoru murmured.
"That is the problem," Megumi said softly.
Once more Kaoru got the feeling she was being kept out of a secret that everyone else knew. She hated the feeling. "Why is that?"
Megumi shook her head. "I am not the one to tell you."
"Then who is?" Kaoru persisted. "Everyone else but me knows what is going on! Why am I different? Why must I be continually kept in the dark?"
"Because that is how it must be." And Megumi would not have another word said about the matter. "Here." She dug around in the small pouch that was belted around her waist and handed Kaoru what seemed to be two small seeds.
"What are they?" Kaoru asked, taking them from her. She sniffed them and sneezed instantly, the spicy smell of the seeds tickling her nose.
"They'll help with your headache."
"Thanks." Kaoru popped them into her mouth and chewed them, making a face at the sour taste they left in her mouth. "They taste awful."
"They work," Megumi told her. "Stop complaining."
"Guess they do," Kaoru admitted. She could already feel the headache receding in intensity.
"Go back to sleep. I'll bring you some broth when you wake up later."
"Doesn't that sound appetizing," Kaoru muttered, closing her eyes. She heard Megumi walk away from the pallet and a creak as the door was opened and closed. Then sleep grabbed her again and she was thrust back into memory-filled dreams.
~*~
"What did you do to him?"
"I don't know. Honestly I don't!"
"He's dead now."
"I know."
"You know."
"Yes."
"How?"
"I felt him die."
"You felt him die?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"I don't know."
"How do you not know?"
"I just don't!"
"Liar."
"I honestly don't know! I don't know what I did to him! I'm sorry; I never meant to do it!"
"You killed him."
"I didn't mean to!"
"He's dead because of you."
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"
"One you caused!"
"Do you know what he was trying to do to me?"
"Yes."
"And you don't even care?"
"No."
"I hate you. I hate you all."
"Will you try to kill us too?"
"No! It was an accident! I never meant to!"
"Then what did you mean to do?"
"I just wanted him to go away, to leave me alone."
"Well you got your wish granted. He's gone away and he'll never bother you again."
"I never wished for that."
"It still happened."
"I know!"
"Are you happy?"
"No, why should I be? I have no reason to be happy . . . what are you going to do to me now?"
"What do you think we should do to you?"
"Are you going to kill me? Put me to death?"
"Do you wish to die?"
I don't know . . ."
"We may yet have a use for you."
"I don't want to be useful to you if you want to use me for what I can do."
"You'd be alive."
"I'd be alive-alive and damned. I won't be a murderer for you."
"A pity."
"I won't be a killer. I never meant to kill him."
"You feel too much to be an effective weapon."
"Is that a compliment or an insult?"
"Take it as you wish."
"Leave me alone."
"I can't do that Kaoru. You know I can't."
"Sure you can. You can lock me up in one of those stinking dungeons."
"You almost sound as if you wish to be put in a dungeon."
"Almost . . ."
"Well that won't happen. We've decided your fate."
"Please tell me then. I'd like to be prepared."
"You're going to Hiten to marry the King."
"What did I do to deserve this honor?"
"Let's just say, we want you as far away from us as possible."
"I honestly don't blame you."
"No, I didn't think you would."
"Why am I really going to Hiten?"
"For the exact reasons I just told you."
"No catches or strings attached?"
"Absolutely none."
"Sounds too good to be true."
"Do you honestly think we'd send a real Full-Blood to Hiten when we could send a Half-Blood like you?"
"Get the Tainted One out of the country and away from the Royals in case she decides to kill them and still forge an alliance. I hate games. Don't use me like some stupid pawn."
"That's all you are Kaoru. That's all any of us are."
"So when am I leaving?"
"Soon. Very soon."
"Wonderful."
"Sarcasm does not become you."
"I don't honestly care."
"You'll be leaving soon."
"When exactly?"
"I do not know. You will be tutored in proper manners before leaving."
"With a guard in the room ready and willing to kill me in case I try anything, right?"
"Correct."
"Leave me now."
"Are you ordering me around?"
"No. I'm just a lowly little bastard servant; there's no way I could order you around."
"Good. I'll be leaving now since I've said all I need to say to you."
"Goodbye."
~*~
~*~
::grin:: Much evilness (and confusion) regarding Kaoru-chan!! And soon I'm going to start developing Kenshin and Kaoru's relationship! (You're all glad to hear that I think) Please look forward to it!
Review Responses:
No-One-Of-Impotance: ^.^ Arigatou!
Alli: ^.~ I'm having so much fun with this puppy! ::bounces::
Poppy2: ^.^ ::makes duplicate Kenshin's:: that way I can have a Kenshin, Kaoru can have a Kenshin and you can have a Kenshin! We're all happy now!
Morgannia: The plot is starting to pick up though it'll still take a while. ^.^
Kei-chan: Yes (almost) everybody except for Kaoru knows what's going on and she's the only one left in the dark. Poor Kaoru. And as for not receiving my Author-Alert FF.net has been messing it up lately - I'm not receiving some of my own AA's either!
Ixchen: Thanks ::grin::
Pia Bartolini: K/K action on the horizon! Look hard though!
JML: ^.^ I agree I'm a bit sick of Kaoru vs. Tomoe for Kenshin's heart type stuff so I'm deliberately staying away from it.
Snow White Hyatt: Love all your reviews! ^.~
Teddy Grahms: ::blinkety blink:: Now that you mention it YES! She does. Creepy O.o; It was not my intention honestly.
Hoshi-ni-Onegai: This fic is intentionally confusing it's the way my muses like it ::glares at them:: Well said about both Tomoe and Enishi! ::waves flag:: And yes I know about the meaning of Kenshin/Shinta's name ::cower:: I apologize eep!
Pretty Luthien: I got the book but then my friend borrowed it and I haven't seen it since ~.~; Actually I see a lot more Robin McKinley influence in the fic than I do Tolkien (I love Tolkien though!) Oddly enough Memory, Sorrow and Sword makes me think I'm channeling her book "The Blue Sword." K/K is on the horizon!
Punky1: It's going to be long (hopefully not as long as Sky Dweller because that fic is starting to get warped - in a good way, 25 chapters and I can see at least another 10 more for that fic plus a sequel ::Sky Dweller Fans cheer in the background::) but it will be long I'm thinking around 30 chapters (not sure at this point though).
Califpinay3001: Thanks!
Tan-chan!: ^.^ Next chapter is up! Get CDRS up ASAP!!!
Clearsunrise: Glad you like it! ^.~
KawaiiChica: You reviewed didn't you? ^.^ Thanks!
Crystal Renee: You do the same thing I do with Cliffhangers! ::gets rotten fruit thrown at her by readers::