Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters.
A/n: sorry about the slowness of updates but the sites been down for a few days. Or maybe it's my comp, I don't know. Something's up. Well anyway, here be chapter 7. And I believe that Ritsuko Akagi's rank is Lt, she is referred to more as dr. though. Help with that would be much needed as I have had people telling me different things.
Chapter 7: I don't want to remember
Gendo now had time alone with Rei to discuss what he needed her to now do in order for him to further his mission. "Unit 00 is close to complete repair. By the next attack you will be used in combat. Before that you will focus on the task at hand. I will be receiving a key item via a man named Kaji. I do not trust him so I will have you meet him on the first class battle ship that is also carrying the Evangelion unit 02. Is that understood Rei?
"Yes sir" Rei said plainly. =I am always relied upon with a mission that is very important to the commander. That is the only time that he talks to me and shows an interest in me. I used to enjoy the time that we spent talking together. It used to be the one thing that I looked forward to. Now he is always angry and wanting the completion of his mission. I do not always remember him like that... But... I cannot remember anything before I was six now that I try... This is troubling to me I believe. = Gendo kept walking forward with Rei following obediently. "I will inform you when you are to leave, which will not be for at least three days. I will also have the third child accompany you. That is all for now Rei, you may leave."
Rei stopped following Gendo and turned the other way in compliance with her dismissal. Bewildered by the fact that Shinji was going to accompany her on this mission. By this she could tell that the commander held her in equal terms as his own son. But then she thought about it again and reconsidered how much of an honor it was. =I do not want to be the commander's doll. And I do not want Shinji to suffer the same as I have. I cannot question the commander however. He has always made that clear. =
Rei walked back down the long hall to the locker room to put away her plug suit then retire for the day. = I do not know what to think anymore. Life has become much more complicated now that Shinji is here.. Actually life has not changed. It is that I just do not want to live the same as I have been. I will make it change now. = Rei left with a feeling of satisfaction with herself.
+++++
Shinji was now out of his plug suit and walking home. He didn't wait for Rei because he didn't know how long she would be at NERV. "What is he up to? He seems logical in his thoughts instead of just his cruel ways. What could have changed him so quickly? Wait a second. Rei was still there with him. He said he would find another way to punish me and he knows I care for Rei."
Shinji then began running back at full pace. When he got to the entrance he saw Rei emerge from the elevator. He felt so much better that nothing had happened to her. He was going to at least explain why he ran up to her so quickly but he was too out of breath. Rei stared at him blankly. =Shinji seems in a panic to see me. I wonder if he is concerned about my well being as I am for his. = Rei saw that Shinji was standing up straight now so she asked, "What is the reason that you came running back to NERV after you were dismissed?"
Shinji then walked over to Rei and gave her a hug without think about it. =I'm glad she's safe. = Rei's eyes opened wide and a blush grew on her face. She just stood there with her arms to her sides and let Shinji hug her. Shinji then realized what he was doing. "Oh.. um... Rei...I'm... um... sorry about that." He said quickly retreating from the hug. "I don't... um... Know what came over me. I'm just glad your ok." Shinji was looking at Rei and noticed the strange look on her face. He thought that he had offended her very greatly.
"Please Rei I'm very sorry, I didn't want to offend you in any way. I was just caught up in the moment and I'm sorry." Shinji blurted out so quickly it was almost incomprehensible. "Rei please forgive me." Rei looked Shinji in the eyes and said, "There is no need to apologize... the experience was... pleasant." Shinji then smiled and felt the tension subdue. Rei then walked over to Shinji and hugged him with a slight hesitation. "Thank you Shinji." Shinji didn't expect this but he didn't mind. He felt that Rei was beginning to open up to him. "Let's go home Rei." Rei nodded slightly.
Rei and Shinji walked home with a seemingly new bond between them. Rei wanted to talk to Shinji about everything that has happened in her life. Her decision prior to leaving NERV was that she was going to start a change. She felt that this was her opportunity. Her chance at what she liked to believe was happiness. A small smile forced her lips up, "Shinji." She said quietly not even knowing she had said it. "What you say Rei?" Shinji said looking to her. "It's of no concern... I believe." Rei still felt she needed time to build up the strength that was needed for such a drastic change in her life. She then lost herself in thought and kept on walking side by side with Shinji.
Shinji new she had something big on her mind. He didn't want to force it out of her. But in a way he did. He wanted to have someone to talk to with. Someone, that trusted him enough to confide in him. For the looks of it there was no delicate way of bringing up Rei's thoughts into a conversation. He would wait till the opportunity presented itself. He hoped that it would be soon for they did lead dangerous lives indeed.
At their apartment building the said their goodbyes and went into their apartments. Shinji's apartment was clean but not as clean as he liked it to be. So he decided that he would spend the rest of the day cleaning it thoroughly. He also decided that he would take the next few days off school. He didn't want to go anyway and now he had an excuse not to. He could say that piloting the Eva tired him out. Yet in reality he enjoys his time in the Eva. It's comforting, and a stress reliever in some sort of way. Only when he's being shout at in it does it make him feel bad. "Time to waste. I wish I had more of it."
Rei sat down on her bed and contemplated on what she would do with he new found persona. No matter how fast she would try and make it surface, there would need to be a significant event to trigger it. =I have always thought that if I were more normal, the commander would care for me more. He has been the only parental figure in my life. Now I see how cruel he is. If I remember back all the things he has done, he was an appalling man the whole time I knew him... and there is the thought again. I do not remember anything before my age of six. I do not know why I have never though of my past before. I need some guidance with this matter as soon as possible. I shall rest and then try and talk with Shinji about this later tonight. =
+++++Back at Shinji's apartment+++++
Shinji was done cleaning and was now folding his clothes and putting them into his dresser draws. He stopped in mid motion and remembered he needed a new SDAT player and now there was nothing stopping him from getting one. He quickly put on his shoes and started walking to the nearest store in pursuit for a replacement. =This time I won't be caught dead without my SDAT player. I'm glad I'm getting a new one. My father gave me that old one. I always had a deep hope that it would one day bring us together as the family we should have been. I guess it did its job in a sadistic way though. =
Shinji was relieved to see that the first store that he came to had a brilliant looking SDAT player. It was a little pricey but Shinji didn't care about that. He gladly paid the cashier and left the store while retrieving a tape from his pocket. =Forgotten memories and bad dreams wont be a problem anymore. What a wonderful distraction. Hmm. I wonder what I would have turned to if I hadn't got a hold of another one of these. I guess it's best not to think about me doing something destructive to myself. =
Shinji walked to what he liked to think of as his spot. It was Misato's spot but he liked to think of it as something more extraordinary to him. It was a place of solitude away form the convention of man and all the people he anticipated not to see. With his SDAT player in hand he laid on the grassy hill staring into the silhouette of the city. "Sometimes it can be so peaceful"
+++++Rei's place+++++
Rei was stirring slightly in her sleep. For her first time since she could remember, she begun to dream. It was dream of memories long forgotten. A memory that was not possible to think of consciously.
Rei saw herself in a third person point of view. She looks very young, around the age of six. She was walking down the long NERV corridors after being separated from the commander. There was not a hint of fear in the young girls face however. She simply kept walking confident that she would find the commander shortly.
Her constant walking lead her to the room here the magi computers were held. In there she saw Naoko Akagi filling in a few charts that kept record of the computers activities. Naoko noticed Rei at the door and kindly asked, "Are you lost Rei? You want me to help you find the commander?" The young girl stared at her and for a moment then replied, "I do not need your help, old hag"
Naoko changed her expression to agitation, "it's not nice to call someone that Rei. The commander will spank you for saying such things." The young girl then quickly responded, " The commander is the one that calls you this. He says that old hag is useless. She has been a burden for the whole time working on this project. Now that her main priority is finished, she is replaceable."
Upon hearing the word replaceable from the young girl, Rei felt an unsettling pain in her stomach. She didn't like the concept of anything being replaceable. It was a fear she had but never let anyone see. If she were replaceable then no one else would worry about her. She didn't like others to concern themselves with her. But she did want at least one person to care about her.
Rei then focused on what was happening between the young girl and Naoko. To her surprise now, she was no longer in third person view. She was the young girl. Naoko had the young girl in a deadly grip around her neck. She was holding her above the ground with an anger and frustration that frightened Rei. She was feeling herself die while this woman choked and shouted at her. "You little bitch Rei. You're the ones that replaceable. You'll never know how unimportant you are." With those last words in the young girls ears, her struggling went limp and her lifeless body fell from Naoko's hands.
Naoko stared at the girl in horror realizing what she had just done. It was too much for her now weakened moral thoughts to take. By now, all Rei could do was listen to what was happening. Her sight was completely darkened, yet her other senses were enhanced a few folds. She could sense the tension in Naoko's movements, along with the chaotic confusion that engulfed her. Till finally there was remorse and acceptance in her actions. A long silence lingered in the room, until a loud shot range out echoing in Rei's ears. She then felt a warm spray of blood fall on her.
Rei didn't know what this meant. She could smell death in the air. Without her sight she couldn't paint a picture in her mind. She hadn't a clue as to what was going on. She then tried to move but felt nothing in her body. Her muscles had failed her. She still had her sense of touch left in her body but was beginning to feel coldness in her core. She lay there getting colder every minute. Finally she heard off in the distance footsteps approaching.
"It appears my dolls have perished. This one's essence will be sealed in unit 00. And this doll shall be replaced once death has fully sunk in." the voice was instantly recognized as Gendo's. Rei felt death creeping it's way into her. She still however had death second on her mind. =I am replaceable. I have just heard the commander say it as a fact. Yet if I am to die here, how is it that I know of my future self as being alive? =
A numbing cold engulfed her completely. The feeling of dread swept over her. Total emptiness filled the void that gapped between what was life and death. All this, in total darkness. Not even sound could force itself upon her now. Nothing was left but eternal darkness. She was trying with every ounce of strength to scream for help, or give a sign that she wanted to live. All she could do was feel her self shiver.
Finally she felt her mouth move. No sound was escaping but this was hope that she would be able to escape the essence of death. Then there was a whisper, "please... help." Rei opened her tear filled eyes staring at the ceiling. It took her a moment to compose herself. She was in her apartment, safe. =So that is what dreams are. I would have never imagined they would be so frightening. I hope that it is not true. It cannot be true... I am not dead. That girl who they called Rei was not I. I am me, and there is not a possibility that such events could be true. =
Rei sat up in her bed and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. She still had the cold feeling of the dream. =If it was a dream, then why did it feel so real? How am I to tell dreams from reality? I must ask Shinji of this right now. = Rei got up and without even putting shoes on she went next store to Shinji's apartment.
Knocking at his door Rei waited impatiently for his reply. =I wanted to talk with him very much so. It appears he is not here for he would have acknowledged me already. = Rei took a step back and examined the door. She slightly bowed her head and closed her eyes, trying to hold back what she knew to be tears. =He could not be hurt inside could he? That does not seem plausible, no one is inside. I will wait for him to return. =
Rei took one last effort and knocked on the door again stammering out in the loudest voice she would purposely muster up, "Shinji..." She then sat down in front of his door and put her back against it. "I will wait for you"
+++++Shinji, 2 hours later+++++
Shinji woke up from his uneventful sleep surveying the now electricity lit city. A sight that was eerily beautiful. " First good sleep I've had in a long time. I'd better get home. It's starting to get cold." Shinji began walking back to his apartment thinking of how he ever lived without his SDAT player.
He walked up the stairs and saw Rei sitting in front of his door with her knees drawn close to her body with her arms wrapped around them. Her eyes were closed and her head was resting on her knees. She was noticeably cold because she shivered slightly whenever a breeze passed. "Rei! What's wrong, are you ok?" Shinji said runner over to her. She awoke slowly as Shinji bent down and threw her arm over his neck and helped her to her feet.
Rei was cold to the touch. Shinji thought that she must have been outside for hours in the cold of night. Shinji walked Rei to her door and helped her in her apartment. "What were you doing outside there Rei?" Shinji said as he sat her on her bed draping a blanket over her. "I wished to see you." Rei said. "You didn't have to wait outside." Rei then pondered this for a moment. " It wished to speak with you as soon as possible"
"Ok then Rei, I'm here now, what's on your mind?" Rei now had the opportunity to speak her mind. She didn't know why this seemed to be so hard. All she had to do was talk about her self. Shinji new that something had shaken Rei up so he sat there silently waiting for the reply. He knew it was hard to get the guts to talk to someone for the first time about something personal. He has yet to do it himself.
Rei had a heavy feeling in her chest, almost like a panic attack. =I do not have to say everything at once. I can just say what I believe is the source of my current problem. My dream=
"I have had a terrible dream." Rei said staring at the floor. Shinji then felt uncomfortable about the subject. He couldn't deal with his dreams, so how was he supposed to help Rei with hers? Rei then looked to Shinji. "I wish to never have them again." Rei said. Shinji then had an idea. He handed Rei his SDAT, "I listen to this when I sleep to keep dreams away. Its sort of a distraction I like to use. Give it a try."
Rei took it, put it to her ear and pressed the play button. Classical music then begun to play drowning out the thoughts of Rei's dream. "It is... soothing, yet as you said it is only a distraction." Rei said with a sad look on her face. She never wanted the dreams to come again. She didn't think that the music would be able to hold back the memories forever.
"Okay, how about this Rei, use it until you really want to talk about your dreams. This can buy some time for you. Then when you feel like it we can talk all that you like."
Rei nodded, "thank you, Shinji." She then sneezed suddenly. "Looks like your catching a clod Rei. You should stay home from school and get some rest before it gets worse."
Shinji stood up, "cause I know I'm not going to school for a few days." =I need some time to think about all this Eva stuff and get some composure. =
Rei looked at him with her head slightly tilted waiting for further explanation of why he was not attending school. Shinji saw her puzzled gaze, "I'll bring you some soup tomorrow, Rei... good night Rei." He then left her apartment.
Rei stared at the SDAT player in her hand. =This seems to mean a lot to him yet he left it for my use. It makes me feel better. Yet I did not get to talk with him to the extent that I wished. It was to complicated for me to open myself to him. =
Rei turned off the lights and laid in her bed with the blankets drawn to her chin. She really was on the verge of a cold. =I believe I will be taking school off as well. Until Shinji return to school at least. =
Then she heard a small beep coming from her nightstand. It was a small black pager. It read [debrief current mission to third child by tomorrow morning. The schedule may change]
Rei knew that the second child would soon be on their way to Japan from Germany along with Evan unit 02 and... Gendo's key item. Rei then turned on the SDAT player and closed her eyes. She knew how much of a comfort this could be to just forget your troubles, if only for a while.
A/n: ok next chapter is gonna have some turn of events. Asuka will make her debut and unlike the real series Gendo will actually talk to her directly. Hehe. Rei and Shinji's relationship will take a step closer after the battle with next angel. And hopefully I get that up soon huh? Good times until then people.
A/n: sorry about the slowness of updates but the sites been down for a few days. Or maybe it's my comp, I don't know. Something's up. Well anyway, here be chapter 7. And I believe that Ritsuko Akagi's rank is Lt, she is referred to more as dr. though. Help with that would be much needed as I have had people telling me different things.
Chapter 7: I don't want to remember
Gendo now had time alone with Rei to discuss what he needed her to now do in order for him to further his mission. "Unit 00 is close to complete repair. By the next attack you will be used in combat. Before that you will focus on the task at hand. I will be receiving a key item via a man named Kaji. I do not trust him so I will have you meet him on the first class battle ship that is also carrying the Evangelion unit 02. Is that understood Rei?
"Yes sir" Rei said plainly. =I am always relied upon with a mission that is very important to the commander. That is the only time that he talks to me and shows an interest in me. I used to enjoy the time that we spent talking together. It used to be the one thing that I looked forward to. Now he is always angry and wanting the completion of his mission. I do not always remember him like that... But... I cannot remember anything before I was six now that I try... This is troubling to me I believe. = Gendo kept walking forward with Rei following obediently. "I will inform you when you are to leave, which will not be for at least three days. I will also have the third child accompany you. That is all for now Rei, you may leave."
Rei stopped following Gendo and turned the other way in compliance with her dismissal. Bewildered by the fact that Shinji was going to accompany her on this mission. By this she could tell that the commander held her in equal terms as his own son. But then she thought about it again and reconsidered how much of an honor it was. =I do not want to be the commander's doll. And I do not want Shinji to suffer the same as I have. I cannot question the commander however. He has always made that clear. =
Rei walked back down the long hall to the locker room to put away her plug suit then retire for the day. = I do not know what to think anymore. Life has become much more complicated now that Shinji is here.. Actually life has not changed. It is that I just do not want to live the same as I have been. I will make it change now. = Rei left with a feeling of satisfaction with herself.
+++++
Shinji was now out of his plug suit and walking home. He didn't wait for Rei because he didn't know how long she would be at NERV. "What is he up to? He seems logical in his thoughts instead of just his cruel ways. What could have changed him so quickly? Wait a second. Rei was still there with him. He said he would find another way to punish me and he knows I care for Rei."
Shinji then began running back at full pace. When he got to the entrance he saw Rei emerge from the elevator. He felt so much better that nothing had happened to her. He was going to at least explain why he ran up to her so quickly but he was too out of breath. Rei stared at him blankly. =Shinji seems in a panic to see me. I wonder if he is concerned about my well being as I am for his. = Rei saw that Shinji was standing up straight now so she asked, "What is the reason that you came running back to NERV after you were dismissed?"
Shinji then walked over to Rei and gave her a hug without think about it. =I'm glad she's safe. = Rei's eyes opened wide and a blush grew on her face. She just stood there with her arms to her sides and let Shinji hug her. Shinji then realized what he was doing. "Oh.. um... Rei...I'm... um... sorry about that." He said quickly retreating from the hug. "I don't... um... Know what came over me. I'm just glad your ok." Shinji was looking at Rei and noticed the strange look on her face. He thought that he had offended her very greatly.
"Please Rei I'm very sorry, I didn't want to offend you in any way. I was just caught up in the moment and I'm sorry." Shinji blurted out so quickly it was almost incomprehensible. "Rei please forgive me." Rei looked Shinji in the eyes and said, "There is no need to apologize... the experience was... pleasant." Shinji then smiled and felt the tension subdue. Rei then walked over to Shinji and hugged him with a slight hesitation. "Thank you Shinji." Shinji didn't expect this but he didn't mind. He felt that Rei was beginning to open up to him. "Let's go home Rei." Rei nodded slightly.
Rei and Shinji walked home with a seemingly new bond between them. Rei wanted to talk to Shinji about everything that has happened in her life. Her decision prior to leaving NERV was that she was going to start a change. She felt that this was her opportunity. Her chance at what she liked to believe was happiness. A small smile forced her lips up, "Shinji." She said quietly not even knowing she had said it. "What you say Rei?" Shinji said looking to her. "It's of no concern... I believe." Rei still felt she needed time to build up the strength that was needed for such a drastic change in her life. She then lost herself in thought and kept on walking side by side with Shinji.
Shinji new she had something big on her mind. He didn't want to force it out of her. But in a way he did. He wanted to have someone to talk to with. Someone, that trusted him enough to confide in him. For the looks of it there was no delicate way of bringing up Rei's thoughts into a conversation. He would wait till the opportunity presented itself. He hoped that it would be soon for they did lead dangerous lives indeed.
At their apartment building the said their goodbyes and went into their apartments. Shinji's apartment was clean but not as clean as he liked it to be. So he decided that he would spend the rest of the day cleaning it thoroughly. He also decided that he would take the next few days off school. He didn't want to go anyway and now he had an excuse not to. He could say that piloting the Eva tired him out. Yet in reality he enjoys his time in the Eva. It's comforting, and a stress reliever in some sort of way. Only when he's being shout at in it does it make him feel bad. "Time to waste. I wish I had more of it."
Rei sat down on her bed and contemplated on what she would do with he new found persona. No matter how fast she would try and make it surface, there would need to be a significant event to trigger it. =I have always thought that if I were more normal, the commander would care for me more. He has been the only parental figure in my life. Now I see how cruel he is. If I remember back all the things he has done, he was an appalling man the whole time I knew him... and there is the thought again. I do not remember anything before my age of six. I do not know why I have never though of my past before. I need some guidance with this matter as soon as possible. I shall rest and then try and talk with Shinji about this later tonight. =
+++++Back at Shinji's apartment+++++
Shinji was done cleaning and was now folding his clothes and putting them into his dresser draws. He stopped in mid motion and remembered he needed a new SDAT player and now there was nothing stopping him from getting one. He quickly put on his shoes and started walking to the nearest store in pursuit for a replacement. =This time I won't be caught dead without my SDAT player. I'm glad I'm getting a new one. My father gave me that old one. I always had a deep hope that it would one day bring us together as the family we should have been. I guess it did its job in a sadistic way though. =
Shinji was relieved to see that the first store that he came to had a brilliant looking SDAT player. It was a little pricey but Shinji didn't care about that. He gladly paid the cashier and left the store while retrieving a tape from his pocket. =Forgotten memories and bad dreams wont be a problem anymore. What a wonderful distraction. Hmm. I wonder what I would have turned to if I hadn't got a hold of another one of these. I guess it's best not to think about me doing something destructive to myself. =
Shinji walked to what he liked to think of as his spot. It was Misato's spot but he liked to think of it as something more extraordinary to him. It was a place of solitude away form the convention of man and all the people he anticipated not to see. With his SDAT player in hand he laid on the grassy hill staring into the silhouette of the city. "Sometimes it can be so peaceful"
+++++Rei's place+++++
Rei was stirring slightly in her sleep. For her first time since she could remember, she begun to dream. It was dream of memories long forgotten. A memory that was not possible to think of consciously.
Rei saw herself in a third person point of view. She looks very young, around the age of six. She was walking down the long NERV corridors after being separated from the commander. There was not a hint of fear in the young girls face however. She simply kept walking confident that she would find the commander shortly.
Her constant walking lead her to the room here the magi computers were held. In there she saw Naoko Akagi filling in a few charts that kept record of the computers activities. Naoko noticed Rei at the door and kindly asked, "Are you lost Rei? You want me to help you find the commander?" The young girl stared at her and for a moment then replied, "I do not need your help, old hag"
Naoko changed her expression to agitation, "it's not nice to call someone that Rei. The commander will spank you for saying such things." The young girl then quickly responded, " The commander is the one that calls you this. He says that old hag is useless. She has been a burden for the whole time working on this project. Now that her main priority is finished, she is replaceable."
Upon hearing the word replaceable from the young girl, Rei felt an unsettling pain in her stomach. She didn't like the concept of anything being replaceable. It was a fear she had but never let anyone see. If she were replaceable then no one else would worry about her. She didn't like others to concern themselves with her. But she did want at least one person to care about her.
Rei then focused on what was happening between the young girl and Naoko. To her surprise now, she was no longer in third person view. She was the young girl. Naoko had the young girl in a deadly grip around her neck. She was holding her above the ground with an anger and frustration that frightened Rei. She was feeling herself die while this woman choked and shouted at her. "You little bitch Rei. You're the ones that replaceable. You'll never know how unimportant you are." With those last words in the young girls ears, her struggling went limp and her lifeless body fell from Naoko's hands.
Naoko stared at the girl in horror realizing what she had just done. It was too much for her now weakened moral thoughts to take. By now, all Rei could do was listen to what was happening. Her sight was completely darkened, yet her other senses were enhanced a few folds. She could sense the tension in Naoko's movements, along with the chaotic confusion that engulfed her. Till finally there was remorse and acceptance in her actions. A long silence lingered in the room, until a loud shot range out echoing in Rei's ears. She then felt a warm spray of blood fall on her.
Rei didn't know what this meant. She could smell death in the air. Without her sight she couldn't paint a picture in her mind. She hadn't a clue as to what was going on. She then tried to move but felt nothing in her body. Her muscles had failed her. She still had her sense of touch left in her body but was beginning to feel coldness in her core. She lay there getting colder every minute. Finally she heard off in the distance footsteps approaching.
"It appears my dolls have perished. This one's essence will be sealed in unit 00. And this doll shall be replaced once death has fully sunk in." the voice was instantly recognized as Gendo's. Rei felt death creeping it's way into her. She still however had death second on her mind. =I am replaceable. I have just heard the commander say it as a fact. Yet if I am to die here, how is it that I know of my future self as being alive? =
A numbing cold engulfed her completely. The feeling of dread swept over her. Total emptiness filled the void that gapped between what was life and death. All this, in total darkness. Not even sound could force itself upon her now. Nothing was left but eternal darkness. She was trying with every ounce of strength to scream for help, or give a sign that she wanted to live. All she could do was feel her self shiver.
Finally she felt her mouth move. No sound was escaping but this was hope that she would be able to escape the essence of death. Then there was a whisper, "please... help." Rei opened her tear filled eyes staring at the ceiling. It took her a moment to compose herself. She was in her apartment, safe. =So that is what dreams are. I would have never imagined they would be so frightening. I hope that it is not true. It cannot be true... I am not dead. That girl who they called Rei was not I. I am me, and there is not a possibility that such events could be true. =
Rei sat up in her bed and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. She still had the cold feeling of the dream. =If it was a dream, then why did it feel so real? How am I to tell dreams from reality? I must ask Shinji of this right now. = Rei got up and without even putting shoes on she went next store to Shinji's apartment.
Knocking at his door Rei waited impatiently for his reply. =I wanted to talk with him very much so. It appears he is not here for he would have acknowledged me already. = Rei took a step back and examined the door. She slightly bowed her head and closed her eyes, trying to hold back what she knew to be tears. =He could not be hurt inside could he? That does not seem plausible, no one is inside. I will wait for him to return. =
Rei took one last effort and knocked on the door again stammering out in the loudest voice she would purposely muster up, "Shinji..." She then sat down in front of his door and put her back against it. "I will wait for you"
+++++Shinji, 2 hours later+++++
Shinji woke up from his uneventful sleep surveying the now electricity lit city. A sight that was eerily beautiful. " First good sleep I've had in a long time. I'd better get home. It's starting to get cold." Shinji began walking back to his apartment thinking of how he ever lived without his SDAT player.
He walked up the stairs and saw Rei sitting in front of his door with her knees drawn close to her body with her arms wrapped around them. Her eyes were closed and her head was resting on her knees. She was noticeably cold because she shivered slightly whenever a breeze passed. "Rei! What's wrong, are you ok?" Shinji said runner over to her. She awoke slowly as Shinji bent down and threw her arm over his neck and helped her to her feet.
Rei was cold to the touch. Shinji thought that she must have been outside for hours in the cold of night. Shinji walked Rei to her door and helped her in her apartment. "What were you doing outside there Rei?" Shinji said as he sat her on her bed draping a blanket over her. "I wished to see you." Rei said. "You didn't have to wait outside." Rei then pondered this for a moment. " It wished to speak with you as soon as possible"
"Ok then Rei, I'm here now, what's on your mind?" Rei now had the opportunity to speak her mind. She didn't know why this seemed to be so hard. All she had to do was talk about her self. Shinji new that something had shaken Rei up so he sat there silently waiting for the reply. He knew it was hard to get the guts to talk to someone for the first time about something personal. He has yet to do it himself.
Rei had a heavy feeling in her chest, almost like a panic attack. =I do not have to say everything at once. I can just say what I believe is the source of my current problem. My dream=
"I have had a terrible dream." Rei said staring at the floor. Shinji then felt uncomfortable about the subject. He couldn't deal with his dreams, so how was he supposed to help Rei with hers? Rei then looked to Shinji. "I wish to never have them again." Rei said. Shinji then had an idea. He handed Rei his SDAT, "I listen to this when I sleep to keep dreams away. Its sort of a distraction I like to use. Give it a try."
Rei took it, put it to her ear and pressed the play button. Classical music then begun to play drowning out the thoughts of Rei's dream. "It is... soothing, yet as you said it is only a distraction." Rei said with a sad look on her face. She never wanted the dreams to come again. She didn't think that the music would be able to hold back the memories forever.
"Okay, how about this Rei, use it until you really want to talk about your dreams. This can buy some time for you. Then when you feel like it we can talk all that you like."
Rei nodded, "thank you, Shinji." She then sneezed suddenly. "Looks like your catching a clod Rei. You should stay home from school and get some rest before it gets worse."
Shinji stood up, "cause I know I'm not going to school for a few days." =I need some time to think about all this Eva stuff and get some composure. =
Rei looked at him with her head slightly tilted waiting for further explanation of why he was not attending school. Shinji saw her puzzled gaze, "I'll bring you some soup tomorrow, Rei... good night Rei." He then left her apartment.
Rei stared at the SDAT player in her hand. =This seems to mean a lot to him yet he left it for my use. It makes me feel better. Yet I did not get to talk with him to the extent that I wished. It was to complicated for me to open myself to him. =
Rei turned off the lights and laid in her bed with the blankets drawn to her chin. She really was on the verge of a cold. =I believe I will be taking school off as well. Until Shinji return to school at least. =
Then she heard a small beep coming from her nightstand. It was a small black pager. It read [debrief current mission to third child by tomorrow morning. The schedule may change]
Rei knew that the second child would soon be on their way to Japan from Germany along with Evan unit 02 and... Gendo's key item. Rei then turned on the SDAT player and closed her eyes. She knew how much of a comfort this could be to just forget your troubles, if only for a while.
A/n: ok next chapter is gonna have some turn of events. Asuka will make her debut and unlike the real series Gendo will actually talk to her directly. Hehe. Rei and Shinji's relationship will take a step closer after the battle with next angel. And hopefully I get that up soon huh? Good times until then people.