Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or any of its characters.
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This chapter contains graphic depictions of abuse, violence, suicidal stuff, and mild cursing. So if you can't handle these right now, do not read further. Viewer discretion is advised. =) Can't say I didn't warn you.
So I'm looking forward to any and all reviews you're all so kind enough to leave me. I love all forms of feedback so don't be shy now. Tell me what you think.
A/n: most people wouldn't think that I could go from a romance chapter to a dark lined chapter like this. But guess what? All you darkfic fans are in for a treat. Also no one said anything about the length so it's gonna be a long one again.
Chapter 9: giving up.
"Well is everyone gonna stare or are you gonna introduce yourselves?" The angry redhead shouted. Everyone then stepped out of the plane onto the carrier.
"Asuka? I barely recognized you. It's been a while since I've seen you. You seemed to have developed into quite the young lady." Misato said trying to make small talk. "Of course." Asuka added.
"So, these are the two other pilots." Asuka said eyeing up Shinji and Rei.
"Umm, hi. I'm... uhh... Shinji" Shinji said scratching the back of his head. Asuka then turned her attention to Rei. "Well?"
"What?" Rei said in a quiet tone that showed little interest in Asuka's gaze. Asuka then gave out an annoyed sigh. "Aren't these two the pair? Couldn't find anyone with some personality could you Misato?"
"Come now Asuka, they're just not as outgoing as you." A man's voice said from behind her.
"KAJI!!" Asuka and Misato chimed in at the same time.
Rei and Shinji looked at each other. This man, Kaji Ryoji, was the man that held one of Gendo's items of value. It was referred to as classification number 00001xc, first of existence.
Before a flustered Misato could make a comment on how she knew this man, Rei took a step toward him with Shinji in stride behind her.
"Kaji Ryoji, I am to take into my possession item 00001xc which is on route to NERV headquarters." Rei said with an unenthusiastic and scripted voice.
"Here's the written authorization to show proof of it." Shinji said with a fear filled voice as he handed Kaji the card. =I hate to do my father's dirty work, but I know this will help Rei. She can't do this alone and I know she can't turn my father down. What hold does he have on her I wonder? =
Kaji looked down at the card and gave a little laugh. "I knew they would be coming here to get it from me. I just never thought that they would send the pilots to do it."
"Well ok I know when you get orders you can't disobey. Let's head down to the cabin area to get acquainted a bit. I'll give you what you came for there." Kaji said as he shot a grin to Misato.
During this whole time Misato was baffled by what Rei and Shinji were doing. They were in on a loop that she had no idea even existed. The pilots of the Evangelion were given top treatment but to be given classified information that she didn't even have was slightly frightening to her. =How much don't I know? = Misato thought as she questioned her position.
They all proceeded down to the cabins with Kaji leading the way. Asuka didn't like the fact that she didn't know what was happening and that things took on a more serious tone all of a sudden. Worst of all, she wasn't the center of attention anymore.
+++++
After being crammed in an elevator to get to the lower deck, everyone was glad to finally sit at a table. Shinji, Rei, and Misato sat on one side while Kaji and Asuka sat on the other.
Kaji was the one to break the ice. "So Misato. You have a boyfriend yet? Or you still looking for Mr. Right."
"I'll have you know that that's none of your business. Thank you very much." Misato snapped.
Shinji couldn't help but enjoy what was happening. He always thought of Misato as someone constantly on the offensive. But Kaji had her against the ropes, so Shinji couldn't help but ask. "Hey Kaji, how do you know Misato so well?" Sudden tension could be felt coming from Misato. Shinji smiled a bit and looked over to Rei. She was staring at nothing again, obviously just waiting for her mission to continue.
"Well Shinji my boy, I used to, how should I say this as not to offend the ladies here... 'Go out' with Misato."
Misato stood up "Kaji! That was a long time ago, and has nothing to do with now."
"Heh, I still see she's as loud as ever." Kaji said with a smile across his face. Misato heavily blushed and nearly sunk her head in her shoulders from embarrassment. Asuka on the other hand was clearly upset. She hated when Kaji ignored her. And especially when it was for someone like Misato. "I wonder what that's supposed to mean?" Asuka said as she crossed her arms and sulked.
Shinji, still with a smile on his face, looked over to see what Rei was thinking of all this. She was still staring at the same spot. But now Shinji noticed what she was staring at. It was Asuka. So Shinji leaned over and asked Rei, "hey Rei, is something wrong?"
Without diverting her eyes she said, "I do not believe so. It is...just... I wish to tell you later Shinji." Shinji nodded his head. He didn't need any further explanation from Rei.
=What is it that I feel towards Asuka? I do not think that I can trust her, or Kaji. = Rei heard those thoughts echo in her head. She then went over a list of all the people that she knew. She didn't trust one of them. Not one. Except...for Shinji. She came to terms with her thoughts of Shinji, but was still contemplating about Asuka. =There is something else about her that I find, displeasing. = Rei sat and tried to think of what she held against Asuka.
Asuka couldn't stand seeing Kaji and Misato flirt with each other anymore. She wanted to get out of there, or at least change the direction of the conversation. She thought of a great opening. "Hey you two. You wanna see the first real Eva unit? My unit 02."
Rei responded, "the sample we came for takes precedence over Evangelion unit 02."
"Well, there are two of you here. How about Shinji comes with me. That way you can get both your 'missions' done at the same time. Just catch up with us later." Asuka said with a sinister smile
Rei looked at Asuka with a slight frown. Her unfamiliar feelings towards her were beginning to grow. Rei didn't like it but what Asuka was saying was logical. She turned to Shinji reluctantly and said, "I will go with Mr. Ryoji and then proceed to the hanger to meet you before we depart."
"Umm... ok, I guess that sounds good Rei. Sure you don't want me to go with you."
Asuka jumped on his sentence like a hungry lion. "Don't worry Rei I won't do anything to your boyfriend while you're away."
Asuka got up and grabbed Shinji by the wrist, leading him to the hanger. "Come on third child, I'll show what the best pilot's prized possession is."
Once they were out of sight Kaji said to Rei, "so, it looks like it's down to business then. I'm sure Misato wouldn't mind meeting me on the deck later."
Rei stood up and Misato and Kaji followed example. "See you later dear." Kaji said waving to Misato as she walked to the elevator.
"Ok Rei, my quarters are just down there. Wait here a minute and I'll bring it. No need for you to keep walking around the ship when others can do it for you." Kaji said trying to get Rei to smile. With no avail he left for his quarters.
=I can't believe they sent the pilots to get it. And so early. I thought they would've been here hours later like originally planned. I have to make this fast and get those pictures for the government without disturbing the contents inside. I can't believe I have Adam in my grasp and I'm just supposed to hand it over. =
Rei sat and waited for Kaji to return. She was concerned that he was planning something in his prolonged absence. It was obvious that he was doing something aside from his task. Rei could only hope that she was still able to get it. She had never failed a mission of Gendo's before, she was afraid to think what would happen if she did.
Gendo had changed so suddenly. He used to show a hint of what he is now, but something brought out the hate in him. It was either; time was running short, Shinji showing up in his life again, or both. Rei couldn't take the time to think about it any longer. A large explosion could be heard in the distance.
Panic grew in the deck above her. Something was happening that was big enough to make the navy react. She knew it was an angel.
She had to get Adam to NERV.
+++++Meanwhile+++++
Shinji and Asuka heard the commotion as well. Looking off starboard they could see a huge whale like angel. Asuka was pleased at the sight, =I can prove myself to these two pilots by showing them who's the best. Shinji will be my witness. =
"Hey third child, follow me. Quick."
Both of them ran back down to unit 02. "We've got to destroy that angel, get in."
"What!? You've gotta be crazy. It's not fit for two pilots. And besides, I need to find Rei."
"Fine you baka, I don't need you anyway. I just thought seeing the greatest pilot in first hand action would be something you would enjoy. Go find that wonder girl and take notes. I'll show you how it's done you coward." Asuka then pushed Shinji away from her and got in the entry plug.
"How dare him choose her over me." Asuka grumbled as she readied unit 02.
Shinji thought that Asuka was able to take care of herself and was probably the safest in the Eva by herself. He might disturb her thoughts and he knew that inside an Eva, the thoughts of the pilot were all that kept them in touch with reality. At least for him they were.
Unit 02 came to life and proceeded out the hanger. "Shinji will be sorry he doubted me."
Shinji watched unit 02 jump from ship to ship towards the angel. "She can do it by herself...now I have to find Rei." he immediately began running back to the crew's quarters where he last saw her.
+++++
Rei ran to Kaji's quarters in hopes to get what she came for. To her surprise there was no one in the room, nor was there what she came for. She felt fear surge through her body. She stood there in the doorway ready to cry. If it weren't for what she heard she would have.
A man was seen running in opposite direction of her carrying a silver briefcase. It was Kaji and he was getting away. Rei immediately took in pursuit of him. Once Kaji reached the flight of stairs, Rei knew that if she was not able to catch up to him now there would be no hope. She didn't even know what she was going to do if she did catch up to him.
Rei was clearly faster than Kaji but as soon as he reached the top of the flight there was a deafening loud sound instantly followed by a large jolt. It only fazed Kaji for a moment before he bolted out the door. Rei didn't recover as quickly and begun to lose ground on him.
When she arrived outside on deck, Kaji was already in a waiting jet. Rei felt that surge of fear again. She had failed. She thought that she was completely worthless for failing. It was something she had never done. Something that she thought held repercussions of a punishment that was worse than death from Gendo.
Rei slowly staggered backwards until her back met the wall adjacent to the doorway she had just come through. She was dazed and confused with fear of what was to come of Gendo's reprimand.
Rei then quickly averted her attention to what seemed to be a shadow casting itself over the entire ship. It was unit 02 coming in for its power cable. Its landing was impeccable but it still shook the ship with a force so great it nearly capsized. Rei didn't have enough reaction time or anything to grab on to when she began to slip.
Right before she was out of reach Shinji put his foot to the doorway and grabbed Rei's arm. With the boat being nearly vertical atop the water he strained to keep a hold of her long enough for him to get a better grip on her.
The ship still had momentum rocking it in the water. Shinji pulled Rei close to him and got down on the floor so it would be easier to keep them both from sliding off the ship. The violent shaking of the boat and high waves ceased. The battle was now underwater.
Shinji saw that Rei looked almost traumatized. He knew that it couldn't have been from the angel encounter. She was an Eva pilot after all.
Both still sitting on the ground, Shinji asked, "Rei? What happened?"
Rei stood up and looked off in the distance the jet had flown. "I have failed my mission." She said with such a sad emotion in her voice. As if the only purpose in her life had been thwarted by a simple mission. Shinji didn't understand that Rei thought this 'was' her purpose. To follow orders, achieve her objectives, and destroy the angels.
Only until recently she would have accepted her fate to be dealt to her by Gendo. "I must report in." but her voice hinted at something that Shinji could almost hear in clear words. Shinji stood up, "I'll go with you too. I'm more responsible for this happening than you. I'll take the blame."
Rei turned to Shinji quickly and looked him in his eyes with all seriousness. "I shall take responsibility. It was my given mission that extended to you in a less authoritative manner. Let us first report back to captain Katsuragi." Rei knew that if Shinji had been blamed for this effort then the commander would surely do something drastic to him. She didn't want to tell him how she knew so. So she just made it seem as if this wasn't his mission as much as it was hers.
Rei then remembered how much of a threat they were still in at the present moment. Now wasn't the time to ready for something they weren't sure was going to happen.
+++++
Unit 02 was under water and the d type equipment was still on it. There was no way that Asuka could survive easily. "Shinji, we must help coordinate the attack against the angel. I heard captain Katsuragi's voice over a loud speaker. She must be in the control room."
While Shinji and Rei were on their way to find Misato, Asuka was having her first real fight with an angel. This fight was not in her favor at all. She replaced fear with anger, and used every ounce of it to move the Eva. She couldn't die now. Not after she had trained for two years just to prove to everyone that she was the best. Eva was her life, but she didn't want it to be her death as well.
"I'm not going down without a fight." She said while looking around for the fast moving angel. It wasn't until it was too late that she saw it advancing on her from below. A sharp bite around her body was all that proved it wasn't her in control. She was a worm on a hook and the big fish took the bait.
The strength of the angel underwater was enough to pull unit 02 to the end of its power cable and still swim. Misato then began shouting orders for her to open the mouth of the giant angel. She planned to sink two ships into it and have them detonated once they were inside it.
The plan was simple enough if you could call that a plan. But Asuka still had trouble even moving the Eva. She still said that it wasn't a problem to Misato. Her pride wouldn't let her show pain in front of the two other pilots who were now watching.
Once the ship started reeling unit 02 in, she felt a panic and at that moment her synch ratio jumped to near perfect letting her open the angel's mouth just in time.
Misato, Rei, and Shinji saw from the surface of the water a large explosion followed by unit 02 flying through the air towards the carrier. Unit 02 had a graceful landing, and then collapsed from loss of power.
"I showed that angel not to mess with Asuka Langley Soryu!" Asuka shouted as soon as her entry plug was open. "Looks like I could put you two out of a job." She said as she saw Rei and Shinji.
"This is gonna be a long trip back to Tokyo-03" Shinji said to Rei.
+++++**
'Over the rainbow' reached Tokyo-03's bay at dusk. Misato had offered the spare room in her apartment to Asuka and she gladly accepted. She wanted to stay close to Misato because of her relationship with Kaji.
Rei and Shinji made their way back to their apartments. Rei was even more quiet than usual. Once the company car dropped Shinji and Rei off Shinji asked her what was wrong.
"I must report to the commander. I must tell him that the mission was a failure." She said while staring past Shinji.
"Ok Rei, let me drop off these papers in my apartment and then we'll get going."
"No Shinji... do not come with me. I must do this alone." She then began walking off towards NERV headquarters. "Rei?" Shinji said as he jogged to catch up with her.
"Wait for me Shinji. I require this of you." she turned to walk of again and this time Shinji didn't follow. He knew that her conversation with his father would be hard on her. His presence would only make things more difficult. He didn't want to pressure Rei about it but he felt that he still should have gone with her. He didn't want to make a mistake when it came to dealing with his father whether it is himself or someone he cared about.
+++++Gendo's office+++++
"So Ikari. I got it here in one piece."
"Why didn't you hand it over to the pilots, Ryoji?"
"Can't trust anyone when it comes to this. Not even the pilots. They weren't in the original scenario. You know that Ikari."
"Trust can't be placed in anyone Ryoji. Why does the seal appear to be tampered with then."
"I already explained that. It was a scramble to get off the boat when the angel attacked. You should just be glad its here in one piece."
"Well done Ryoji. I assume you wish to get to your duties as our new head of NERV special inspections."
"Looks like I'm leaving then. See ya Ikari."
Gendo was furious with what had transpired. Kaji was obviously hiding something but Gendo had no way of proving this. Kaji could prove to be a problem later in Gendo's scenario. He was now put under a closer watch then before. Gendo wanted Kaji caught red-handed. Then Gendo thought, =if only Rei had succeeded in getting Adam, Kaji would have most likely done something desperate to get it back. =
Then at the worst possible moment there was a quiet knock at the door. "Come in Rei." Gendo said as he begun to stand.
The scared girl walked up to him hiding her fear well. She was used to hiding her emotions in front of the commander because he raised her to keep them on the inside. Showing them was a sign of weakness and failure in yourself and others. Plus, emotions were not necessary in life. That's what she had been taught.
Rei then gave her report to the commander not leaving out a single detail, as she was told not to. After taking it all in the commander stepped closer to Rei.
"You let Kaji Ryoji by himself with the sample?"
"Yes sir"
"He then escaped with the sample"
"Yes sir"
"And you know that it was your top priority to get the sample back to me?"
"Yes sir."
"Then why did you fail if I told you not to?" Gendo said this while raising his voice slightly. His anger was building with Rei.
Rei didn't know what to say to that last question. She stood there in front of the commander afraid to move. She could sense that he was angry and knew that any wrong action would have dire consequences. She also knew that her silence in this manner would have the same if not worse effects.
She then looked into the eyes of the man who had raised her like a daughter. She didn't recognize him. His change was so drastic. Her role in his scenario was now to follow orders, and stop being someone he once seemed to care about.
Gendo's patience had grown thin. "Answer me Rei!" he nearly shouted.
Rei jumped at his tone of voice. She was too terrified to say anything. Scanning his eyes again she slightly opened her mouth in an effort to say something.
Gendo had had enough. He wanted Rei to know that she would not disobey him again at any cost. So to tighten his control over her, he knew that he could not let her forget when she did something wrong, that there would be a serious reprimand.
Gendo was now a foot from Rei with a more than serious look on his face.
Then in what seemed like slow motion. Rei saw Gendo draw his hand back. Her eyes grew as she instinctively started to take a step back. Before her foot was down she was hit. That's when everything came back up to speed.
The force of the hit caused her to stumble to her right. She held herself up with her arm though. As soon as she turned to Gendo he was right there. He hit her again just below her temple. This hit made her fall to the ground. Gendo took that time to rub his knuckles slightly. He had hit Rei as hard as he could.
She laid there with blood starting to drip from her check and temple. His hits had busted her skin. Rei then began to cry slightly. Not so much as the pain from being hit, but because the man that was doing this was like a father to her. Her closest relationship to anyone was with him, before she met Shinji.
Gendo noticed the sobs of Rei. He was almost infuriated by them. "Shut up!" he shouted as he kicked her while she was down. "Don't make me question your purpose again Rei," he said more calmly.
Rei barely heard him because of the pain. His kick to her weak ribs was almost enough pain to make her pass out. While she was curled in a ball bruised, bleeding, and crying she could only think of how the commander thought that she at times, had no purpose.
Gendo walked over to his desk and picked up the phone. "Doctor Akagi, get down here at once. Rei needs some medical assistance."
Within a minute the doctor was there. "Check to see if anything is broken, then take her home." Gendo said as he walked past the stunned doctor. Before he got out of the door he stopped in his tracks and turned his head slightly to her. "Be sure to inform the third child of Rei's condition once she is home."
+++++
Ritsuko had to personally attend to Rei then drive her home. She didn't want anyone to know of this incident. Even though she knew that Shinji would come to the right conclusion once he saw Rei.
In front of the apartment building Ritsuko said to Rei, "go inside your apartment. I'll send Shinji right over." With a blank look on her bruised and stitched face she complied and went to her apartment. Ritsuko stood there for a moment to think of what she would tell Shinji.
She decided that she wasn't going to tell him anything. Shinji was going to find out what happened. She just had to tell him to look.
At Shinji's door she knocked forcefully to be sure that she got his attention. The drowsy boy looked at her confused. She didn't waste anytime, "Shinji, Rei needs to see you. She's in her apartment now."
Shinji just looked at her while she turned down the hall and out of sight. Now he was worried.
He walked over to her door and saw that it was slightly opened. He walked in looking for Rei. He called out her name quietly but there was no response. When he got to her bedroom he saw her sitting on the floor leaning against her bed. He slowly walked over to her and knelt down next to her.
"Rei... Rei what happened?"
Shinji saw that she had a few stitches above her left eye along with a heavily bruised check that had begun to swell up.
Rei didn't even look at Shinji. It was as if she didn't even know he was there. Shinji got up and went to the freezer to get some ice for her. He then gently placed it against her face.
Rei then looked at him and smiled a very sad smile.
"What happened Rei? You can tell me." He said as he stared into her crimson eyes. She couldn't hold her smile for long. Her eyes filled with tears but she didn't make a sound. "Please Rei. Tell me."
Quietly she said to Shinji, "I was punished for my mistakes...and..." she started to cry again which stopped her in mid sentence. Shinji moved next to her and put his arm around her to try and calm her down.
"My father will pay for this Rei. For what he did to you."
Rei calmed when Shinji held her. She thought of what she was feeling for the commander.
"The commander has taken nearly everything from me that I hold value to. He has even taken himself away from me. I once looked up to him...now I am confused with feelings of hate for him. I did disobey him...maybe I deserved such anger and punishment from him."
Shinji was now growing angry with Rei. While still holding her he said.
"He has no right to decide that Rei. He can't control you anymore. You're your own person. No one deserves what he has done to you. He has no right." Shinji was now staring straight ahead at nothing. He didn't know what he was saying anymore. His anger was getting the best of him and clouding his judgment.
Shinji now had to face his feeling of resentment for his father. =Why is it that all my memories of him have been of pain and suffering? Even now he's still doing it. Someone has to stop him. Something has to end what he is up to. I know that mother would never have approved of anything that he has been doing. =
Rei interrupted Shinji's thoughts suddenly. "I am afraid Shinji. I do not want to face him anymore."
"I know Rei. He wont be able to get away with this anymore." Rei then put her arms around Shinji but winced at the pain in her side. Shinji knew that her ribs were at least bruised. "Let me help you to bed Rei."
"Shinji. Please don't... please stay with me."
"Ok Rei... I'm not leaving you."
=Soon enough. Don't worry anymore Rei. He'll get his. =
+++++
Shinji had slept over at Rei's that night. Rei insisted that he could share the bed with her but he slept on the floor anyway.
Since they were ordered to attend school they did so. Also a special order came from Ritsuko. If anyone were to ask how Rei had her injuries, she would say it was during the previous angel battle.
Shinji and Rei both had a good sleep because they knew the other was near... although Shinji still felt so much tension because of what his father had done.
The walk to school wasn't pleasant either because there was still major damage from the previous fight in the city. Shinji remembered the shelter that was destroyed. He still blamed himself for it even though everyone was telling him otherwise.
When they got to school there was hardly anyone there. Shinji could only think that they had been killed. Rei seemed to know what he was thinking so she leaned over and said, "many people have moved due to the numerous angel attacks. They are safe Shinji."
Then in walked Asuka trying to make her big entrance. "Hi everyone. I'm the new student. Asuka Langley Soryu. So everyone, where's..." her attention was drawn to Rei.
"Rei!! What happened to you? I saw you yesterday and there wasn't a scratch on you. What did you do to her baka Shinji?"
"During the angel attack I was injured."
"What are you talking about? I saw you after the angel attack. Sheesh. Never mind then. Live your secret little lives then you dumkoffs."
Asuka then went back to introducing herself to the class and making friends with everyone. Rei resumed looking out the window and Shinji scanned the classroom to see what everyone was doing. He noticed Hikari wasn't there today, which was strange for the class rep. Toji was sitting in the corner by himself with a solemn look on his face. Shinji was about to get up and talk to him but the teacher came in and class started.
As the monotonous voiced teacher left for lunch so did the class. Toji didn't move from his seat though. Shinji looked over to Rei and said that they should go and talk to him.
"Hey Toji, what's up. And where's Hikari."
"Hmm. You didn't hear? That shelter had her two sisters in it. She's at the memorial service probably. It's today. Only reason I didn't go with her cause she wanted me to fill in as class rep and Kensuke was absent cause he was upset about something or other. He didn't really tell me why." Toji then looked up and saw that Shinji had a blank look on his face.
"Shinji-man. Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault bro. I know there was nothing you could do. Don't let it get to you. We're still rooting for you, Rei, and even Asuka." Toji then saw Rei's face.
"What happened to you?"
"I was injured during the angel attack on the carrier fleet 'over the rainbow'."
"At least your still ok...I'll see you two later. I'm calling it a day here. I'm gonna visit my sister."
Rei said goodbye and then looked over to Shinji because he did not reply. "What is the matter Shinji"
"I'll be right back." Shinji said in a spaced out voice. He was so deep in his own thoughts that he couldn't do anything but walk off as if he was dead.
"Shinji..." was all Rei could say as she knew that something was terribly wrong with him. She followed him at a distance because she just had a bad feeling about it. She couldn't explain what it was.
Shinji had walked into the men's bathroom with his still forlorn look he had on his face.
"I don't deserve this. All these terrible things happening are my burden. If they could only make a replacement for me...what am I saying. They would never do that. As long as I'm alive they'll never let me rest. I'm all that this world has."
Shinji looked up at himself in the mirror. He used to enjoy just staring in his own eyes trying to understand what he was thinking. What he could look forward to. The only person he could depend on.
This time when he looked in the mirror he saw someone else. This person was weak and not the one that should be called the protector of mankind. He hated it. Everyone was relying on this person. Relying on him.
He had begun to hate himself. He didn't want his pathetic self to be such an important figure in everyone's dependant lives anymore.
Enraged by himself and his thought he punched his image in the mirror, breaking the glass.
Rei heard this and of course like anyone else would be, she was worried. She walked over slowly to the door to get into a better position to listen.
Shinji was now looking at his bloody hand. =It almost feels good. =
Shinji's face then had a small grin on it. "How far can I push it until it's too much."
"Why even worry? If I'm gone they can just get the next pilot here faster to fix what's broken"
Shinji picked up a broken piece of glass and stared at it for a moment. He ran the glass down his wrist to his forearm. Tilted his head back from the pain with his eye's closed. When he then started to feel no more pain he opened his eyes. "Unfamiliar ceiling." Shinji then started to laugh hysterically like he was talking about every good time he had ever had in his life.
Rei heard him and pushed open the door enough to look in. When she saw large amounts of blood by his feet she fully opened the door. "SHINJI!" She shouted as she ran to him. Shinji had just started to fall when he heard Rei's voice.
Rei was on the floor by Shinji holding his arm in the tightest grip that he had ever felt in his life. She was trying to stop the profound bleeding, even though it looked like she could do nothing.
Shinji looked into Rei's beautiful crimson eyes and said quietly. Just loud enough to be heard over her tears, "I'm sorry Rei...Goodbye" as he felt himself become numb and lifeless.
A/N: Asuka and Rei are going to have big parts together in the next chapter. Please review now. And all I can say about Shinji is... to be continued...
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This chapter contains graphic depictions of abuse, violence, suicidal stuff, and mild cursing. So if you can't handle these right now, do not read further. Viewer discretion is advised. =) Can't say I didn't warn you.
So I'm looking forward to any and all reviews you're all so kind enough to leave me. I love all forms of feedback so don't be shy now. Tell me what you think.
A/n: most people wouldn't think that I could go from a romance chapter to a dark lined chapter like this. But guess what? All you darkfic fans are in for a treat. Also no one said anything about the length so it's gonna be a long one again.
Chapter 9: giving up.
"Well is everyone gonna stare or are you gonna introduce yourselves?" The angry redhead shouted. Everyone then stepped out of the plane onto the carrier.
"Asuka? I barely recognized you. It's been a while since I've seen you. You seemed to have developed into quite the young lady." Misato said trying to make small talk. "Of course." Asuka added.
"So, these are the two other pilots." Asuka said eyeing up Shinji and Rei.
"Umm, hi. I'm... uhh... Shinji" Shinji said scratching the back of his head. Asuka then turned her attention to Rei. "Well?"
"What?" Rei said in a quiet tone that showed little interest in Asuka's gaze. Asuka then gave out an annoyed sigh. "Aren't these two the pair? Couldn't find anyone with some personality could you Misato?"
"Come now Asuka, they're just not as outgoing as you." A man's voice said from behind her.
"KAJI!!" Asuka and Misato chimed in at the same time.
Rei and Shinji looked at each other. This man, Kaji Ryoji, was the man that held one of Gendo's items of value. It was referred to as classification number 00001xc, first of existence.
Before a flustered Misato could make a comment on how she knew this man, Rei took a step toward him with Shinji in stride behind her.
"Kaji Ryoji, I am to take into my possession item 00001xc which is on route to NERV headquarters." Rei said with an unenthusiastic and scripted voice.
"Here's the written authorization to show proof of it." Shinji said with a fear filled voice as he handed Kaji the card. =I hate to do my father's dirty work, but I know this will help Rei. She can't do this alone and I know she can't turn my father down. What hold does he have on her I wonder? =
Kaji looked down at the card and gave a little laugh. "I knew they would be coming here to get it from me. I just never thought that they would send the pilots to do it."
"Well ok I know when you get orders you can't disobey. Let's head down to the cabin area to get acquainted a bit. I'll give you what you came for there." Kaji said as he shot a grin to Misato.
During this whole time Misato was baffled by what Rei and Shinji were doing. They were in on a loop that she had no idea even existed. The pilots of the Evangelion were given top treatment but to be given classified information that she didn't even have was slightly frightening to her. =How much don't I know? = Misato thought as she questioned her position.
They all proceeded down to the cabins with Kaji leading the way. Asuka didn't like the fact that she didn't know what was happening and that things took on a more serious tone all of a sudden. Worst of all, she wasn't the center of attention anymore.
+++++
After being crammed in an elevator to get to the lower deck, everyone was glad to finally sit at a table. Shinji, Rei, and Misato sat on one side while Kaji and Asuka sat on the other.
Kaji was the one to break the ice. "So Misato. You have a boyfriend yet? Or you still looking for Mr. Right."
"I'll have you know that that's none of your business. Thank you very much." Misato snapped.
Shinji couldn't help but enjoy what was happening. He always thought of Misato as someone constantly on the offensive. But Kaji had her against the ropes, so Shinji couldn't help but ask. "Hey Kaji, how do you know Misato so well?" Sudden tension could be felt coming from Misato. Shinji smiled a bit and looked over to Rei. She was staring at nothing again, obviously just waiting for her mission to continue.
"Well Shinji my boy, I used to, how should I say this as not to offend the ladies here... 'Go out' with Misato."
Misato stood up "Kaji! That was a long time ago, and has nothing to do with now."
"Heh, I still see she's as loud as ever." Kaji said with a smile across his face. Misato heavily blushed and nearly sunk her head in her shoulders from embarrassment. Asuka on the other hand was clearly upset. She hated when Kaji ignored her. And especially when it was for someone like Misato. "I wonder what that's supposed to mean?" Asuka said as she crossed her arms and sulked.
Shinji, still with a smile on his face, looked over to see what Rei was thinking of all this. She was still staring at the same spot. But now Shinji noticed what she was staring at. It was Asuka. So Shinji leaned over and asked Rei, "hey Rei, is something wrong?"
Without diverting her eyes she said, "I do not believe so. It is...just... I wish to tell you later Shinji." Shinji nodded his head. He didn't need any further explanation from Rei.
=What is it that I feel towards Asuka? I do not think that I can trust her, or Kaji. = Rei heard those thoughts echo in her head. She then went over a list of all the people that she knew. She didn't trust one of them. Not one. Except...for Shinji. She came to terms with her thoughts of Shinji, but was still contemplating about Asuka. =There is something else about her that I find, displeasing. = Rei sat and tried to think of what she held against Asuka.
Asuka couldn't stand seeing Kaji and Misato flirt with each other anymore. She wanted to get out of there, or at least change the direction of the conversation. She thought of a great opening. "Hey you two. You wanna see the first real Eva unit? My unit 02."
Rei responded, "the sample we came for takes precedence over Evangelion unit 02."
"Well, there are two of you here. How about Shinji comes with me. That way you can get both your 'missions' done at the same time. Just catch up with us later." Asuka said with a sinister smile
Rei looked at Asuka with a slight frown. Her unfamiliar feelings towards her were beginning to grow. Rei didn't like it but what Asuka was saying was logical. She turned to Shinji reluctantly and said, "I will go with Mr. Ryoji and then proceed to the hanger to meet you before we depart."
"Umm... ok, I guess that sounds good Rei. Sure you don't want me to go with you."
Asuka jumped on his sentence like a hungry lion. "Don't worry Rei I won't do anything to your boyfriend while you're away."
Asuka got up and grabbed Shinji by the wrist, leading him to the hanger. "Come on third child, I'll show what the best pilot's prized possession is."
Once they were out of sight Kaji said to Rei, "so, it looks like it's down to business then. I'm sure Misato wouldn't mind meeting me on the deck later."
Rei stood up and Misato and Kaji followed example. "See you later dear." Kaji said waving to Misato as she walked to the elevator.
"Ok Rei, my quarters are just down there. Wait here a minute and I'll bring it. No need for you to keep walking around the ship when others can do it for you." Kaji said trying to get Rei to smile. With no avail he left for his quarters.
=I can't believe they sent the pilots to get it. And so early. I thought they would've been here hours later like originally planned. I have to make this fast and get those pictures for the government without disturbing the contents inside. I can't believe I have Adam in my grasp and I'm just supposed to hand it over. =
Rei sat and waited for Kaji to return. She was concerned that he was planning something in his prolonged absence. It was obvious that he was doing something aside from his task. Rei could only hope that she was still able to get it. She had never failed a mission of Gendo's before, she was afraid to think what would happen if she did.
Gendo had changed so suddenly. He used to show a hint of what he is now, but something brought out the hate in him. It was either; time was running short, Shinji showing up in his life again, or both. Rei couldn't take the time to think about it any longer. A large explosion could be heard in the distance.
Panic grew in the deck above her. Something was happening that was big enough to make the navy react. She knew it was an angel.
She had to get Adam to NERV.
+++++Meanwhile+++++
Shinji and Asuka heard the commotion as well. Looking off starboard they could see a huge whale like angel. Asuka was pleased at the sight, =I can prove myself to these two pilots by showing them who's the best. Shinji will be my witness. =
"Hey third child, follow me. Quick."
Both of them ran back down to unit 02. "We've got to destroy that angel, get in."
"What!? You've gotta be crazy. It's not fit for two pilots. And besides, I need to find Rei."
"Fine you baka, I don't need you anyway. I just thought seeing the greatest pilot in first hand action would be something you would enjoy. Go find that wonder girl and take notes. I'll show you how it's done you coward." Asuka then pushed Shinji away from her and got in the entry plug.
"How dare him choose her over me." Asuka grumbled as she readied unit 02.
Shinji thought that Asuka was able to take care of herself and was probably the safest in the Eva by herself. He might disturb her thoughts and he knew that inside an Eva, the thoughts of the pilot were all that kept them in touch with reality. At least for him they were.
Unit 02 came to life and proceeded out the hanger. "Shinji will be sorry he doubted me."
Shinji watched unit 02 jump from ship to ship towards the angel. "She can do it by herself...now I have to find Rei." he immediately began running back to the crew's quarters where he last saw her.
+++++
Rei ran to Kaji's quarters in hopes to get what she came for. To her surprise there was no one in the room, nor was there what she came for. She felt fear surge through her body. She stood there in the doorway ready to cry. If it weren't for what she heard she would have.
A man was seen running in opposite direction of her carrying a silver briefcase. It was Kaji and he was getting away. Rei immediately took in pursuit of him. Once Kaji reached the flight of stairs, Rei knew that if she was not able to catch up to him now there would be no hope. She didn't even know what she was going to do if she did catch up to him.
Rei was clearly faster than Kaji but as soon as he reached the top of the flight there was a deafening loud sound instantly followed by a large jolt. It only fazed Kaji for a moment before he bolted out the door. Rei didn't recover as quickly and begun to lose ground on him.
When she arrived outside on deck, Kaji was already in a waiting jet. Rei felt that surge of fear again. She had failed. She thought that she was completely worthless for failing. It was something she had never done. Something that she thought held repercussions of a punishment that was worse than death from Gendo.
Rei slowly staggered backwards until her back met the wall adjacent to the doorway she had just come through. She was dazed and confused with fear of what was to come of Gendo's reprimand.
Rei then quickly averted her attention to what seemed to be a shadow casting itself over the entire ship. It was unit 02 coming in for its power cable. Its landing was impeccable but it still shook the ship with a force so great it nearly capsized. Rei didn't have enough reaction time or anything to grab on to when she began to slip.
Right before she was out of reach Shinji put his foot to the doorway and grabbed Rei's arm. With the boat being nearly vertical atop the water he strained to keep a hold of her long enough for him to get a better grip on her.
The ship still had momentum rocking it in the water. Shinji pulled Rei close to him and got down on the floor so it would be easier to keep them both from sliding off the ship. The violent shaking of the boat and high waves ceased. The battle was now underwater.
Shinji saw that Rei looked almost traumatized. He knew that it couldn't have been from the angel encounter. She was an Eva pilot after all.
Both still sitting on the ground, Shinji asked, "Rei? What happened?"
Rei stood up and looked off in the distance the jet had flown. "I have failed my mission." She said with such a sad emotion in her voice. As if the only purpose in her life had been thwarted by a simple mission. Shinji didn't understand that Rei thought this 'was' her purpose. To follow orders, achieve her objectives, and destroy the angels.
Only until recently she would have accepted her fate to be dealt to her by Gendo. "I must report in." but her voice hinted at something that Shinji could almost hear in clear words. Shinji stood up, "I'll go with you too. I'm more responsible for this happening than you. I'll take the blame."
Rei turned to Shinji quickly and looked him in his eyes with all seriousness. "I shall take responsibility. It was my given mission that extended to you in a less authoritative manner. Let us first report back to captain Katsuragi." Rei knew that if Shinji had been blamed for this effort then the commander would surely do something drastic to him. She didn't want to tell him how she knew so. So she just made it seem as if this wasn't his mission as much as it was hers.
Rei then remembered how much of a threat they were still in at the present moment. Now wasn't the time to ready for something they weren't sure was going to happen.
+++++
Unit 02 was under water and the d type equipment was still on it. There was no way that Asuka could survive easily. "Shinji, we must help coordinate the attack against the angel. I heard captain Katsuragi's voice over a loud speaker. She must be in the control room."
While Shinji and Rei were on their way to find Misato, Asuka was having her first real fight with an angel. This fight was not in her favor at all. She replaced fear with anger, and used every ounce of it to move the Eva. She couldn't die now. Not after she had trained for two years just to prove to everyone that she was the best. Eva was her life, but she didn't want it to be her death as well.
"I'm not going down without a fight." She said while looking around for the fast moving angel. It wasn't until it was too late that she saw it advancing on her from below. A sharp bite around her body was all that proved it wasn't her in control. She was a worm on a hook and the big fish took the bait.
The strength of the angel underwater was enough to pull unit 02 to the end of its power cable and still swim. Misato then began shouting orders for her to open the mouth of the giant angel. She planned to sink two ships into it and have them detonated once they were inside it.
The plan was simple enough if you could call that a plan. But Asuka still had trouble even moving the Eva. She still said that it wasn't a problem to Misato. Her pride wouldn't let her show pain in front of the two other pilots who were now watching.
Once the ship started reeling unit 02 in, she felt a panic and at that moment her synch ratio jumped to near perfect letting her open the angel's mouth just in time.
Misato, Rei, and Shinji saw from the surface of the water a large explosion followed by unit 02 flying through the air towards the carrier. Unit 02 had a graceful landing, and then collapsed from loss of power.
"I showed that angel not to mess with Asuka Langley Soryu!" Asuka shouted as soon as her entry plug was open. "Looks like I could put you two out of a job." She said as she saw Rei and Shinji.
"This is gonna be a long trip back to Tokyo-03" Shinji said to Rei.
+++++**
'Over the rainbow' reached Tokyo-03's bay at dusk. Misato had offered the spare room in her apartment to Asuka and she gladly accepted. She wanted to stay close to Misato because of her relationship with Kaji.
Rei and Shinji made their way back to their apartments. Rei was even more quiet than usual. Once the company car dropped Shinji and Rei off Shinji asked her what was wrong.
"I must report to the commander. I must tell him that the mission was a failure." She said while staring past Shinji.
"Ok Rei, let me drop off these papers in my apartment and then we'll get going."
"No Shinji... do not come with me. I must do this alone." She then began walking off towards NERV headquarters. "Rei?" Shinji said as he jogged to catch up with her.
"Wait for me Shinji. I require this of you." she turned to walk of again and this time Shinji didn't follow. He knew that her conversation with his father would be hard on her. His presence would only make things more difficult. He didn't want to pressure Rei about it but he felt that he still should have gone with her. He didn't want to make a mistake when it came to dealing with his father whether it is himself or someone he cared about.
+++++Gendo's office+++++
"So Ikari. I got it here in one piece."
"Why didn't you hand it over to the pilots, Ryoji?"
"Can't trust anyone when it comes to this. Not even the pilots. They weren't in the original scenario. You know that Ikari."
"Trust can't be placed in anyone Ryoji. Why does the seal appear to be tampered with then."
"I already explained that. It was a scramble to get off the boat when the angel attacked. You should just be glad its here in one piece."
"Well done Ryoji. I assume you wish to get to your duties as our new head of NERV special inspections."
"Looks like I'm leaving then. See ya Ikari."
Gendo was furious with what had transpired. Kaji was obviously hiding something but Gendo had no way of proving this. Kaji could prove to be a problem later in Gendo's scenario. He was now put under a closer watch then before. Gendo wanted Kaji caught red-handed. Then Gendo thought, =if only Rei had succeeded in getting Adam, Kaji would have most likely done something desperate to get it back. =
Then at the worst possible moment there was a quiet knock at the door. "Come in Rei." Gendo said as he begun to stand.
The scared girl walked up to him hiding her fear well. She was used to hiding her emotions in front of the commander because he raised her to keep them on the inside. Showing them was a sign of weakness and failure in yourself and others. Plus, emotions were not necessary in life. That's what she had been taught.
Rei then gave her report to the commander not leaving out a single detail, as she was told not to. After taking it all in the commander stepped closer to Rei.
"You let Kaji Ryoji by himself with the sample?"
"Yes sir"
"He then escaped with the sample"
"Yes sir"
"And you know that it was your top priority to get the sample back to me?"
"Yes sir."
"Then why did you fail if I told you not to?" Gendo said this while raising his voice slightly. His anger was building with Rei.
Rei didn't know what to say to that last question. She stood there in front of the commander afraid to move. She could sense that he was angry and knew that any wrong action would have dire consequences. She also knew that her silence in this manner would have the same if not worse effects.
She then looked into the eyes of the man who had raised her like a daughter. She didn't recognize him. His change was so drastic. Her role in his scenario was now to follow orders, and stop being someone he once seemed to care about.
Gendo's patience had grown thin. "Answer me Rei!" he nearly shouted.
Rei jumped at his tone of voice. She was too terrified to say anything. Scanning his eyes again she slightly opened her mouth in an effort to say something.
Gendo had had enough. He wanted Rei to know that she would not disobey him again at any cost. So to tighten his control over her, he knew that he could not let her forget when she did something wrong, that there would be a serious reprimand.
Gendo was now a foot from Rei with a more than serious look on his face.
Then in what seemed like slow motion. Rei saw Gendo draw his hand back. Her eyes grew as she instinctively started to take a step back. Before her foot was down she was hit. That's when everything came back up to speed.
The force of the hit caused her to stumble to her right. She held herself up with her arm though. As soon as she turned to Gendo he was right there. He hit her again just below her temple. This hit made her fall to the ground. Gendo took that time to rub his knuckles slightly. He had hit Rei as hard as he could.
She laid there with blood starting to drip from her check and temple. His hits had busted her skin. Rei then began to cry slightly. Not so much as the pain from being hit, but because the man that was doing this was like a father to her. Her closest relationship to anyone was with him, before she met Shinji.
Gendo noticed the sobs of Rei. He was almost infuriated by them. "Shut up!" he shouted as he kicked her while she was down. "Don't make me question your purpose again Rei," he said more calmly.
Rei barely heard him because of the pain. His kick to her weak ribs was almost enough pain to make her pass out. While she was curled in a ball bruised, bleeding, and crying she could only think of how the commander thought that she at times, had no purpose.
Gendo walked over to his desk and picked up the phone. "Doctor Akagi, get down here at once. Rei needs some medical assistance."
Within a minute the doctor was there. "Check to see if anything is broken, then take her home." Gendo said as he walked past the stunned doctor. Before he got out of the door he stopped in his tracks and turned his head slightly to her. "Be sure to inform the third child of Rei's condition once she is home."
+++++
Ritsuko had to personally attend to Rei then drive her home. She didn't want anyone to know of this incident. Even though she knew that Shinji would come to the right conclusion once he saw Rei.
In front of the apartment building Ritsuko said to Rei, "go inside your apartment. I'll send Shinji right over." With a blank look on her bruised and stitched face she complied and went to her apartment. Ritsuko stood there for a moment to think of what she would tell Shinji.
She decided that she wasn't going to tell him anything. Shinji was going to find out what happened. She just had to tell him to look.
At Shinji's door she knocked forcefully to be sure that she got his attention. The drowsy boy looked at her confused. She didn't waste anytime, "Shinji, Rei needs to see you. She's in her apartment now."
Shinji just looked at her while she turned down the hall and out of sight. Now he was worried.
He walked over to her door and saw that it was slightly opened. He walked in looking for Rei. He called out her name quietly but there was no response. When he got to her bedroom he saw her sitting on the floor leaning against her bed. He slowly walked over to her and knelt down next to her.
"Rei... Rei what happened?"
Shinji saw that she had a few stitches above her left eye along with a heavily bruised check that had begun to swell up.
Rei didn't even look at Shinji. It was as if she didn't even know he was there. Shinji got up and went to the freezer to get some ice for her. He then gently placed it against her face.
Rei then looked at him and smiled a very sad smile.
"What happened Rei? You can tell me." He said as he stared into her crimson eyes. She couldn't hold her smile for long. Her eyes filled with tears but she didn't make a sound. "Please Rei. Tell me."
Quietly she said to Shinji, "I was punished for my mistakes...and..." she started to cry again which stopped her in mid sentence. Shinji moved next to her and put his arm around her to try and calm her down.
"My father will pay for this Rei. For what he did to you."
Rei calmed when Shinji held her. She thought of what she was feeling for the commander.
"The commander has taken nearly everything from me that I hold value to. He has even taken himself away from me. I once looked up to him...now I am confused with feelings of hate for him. I did disobey him...maybe I deserved such anger and punishment from him."
Shinji was now growing angry with Rei. While still holding her he said.
"He has no right to decide that Rei. He can't control you anymore. You're your own person. No one deserves what he has done to you. He has no right." Shinji was now staring straight ahead at nothing. He didn't know what he was saying anymore. His anger was getting the best of him and clouding his judgment.
Shinji now had to face his feeling of resentment for his father. =Why is it that all my memories of him have been of pain and suffering? Even now he's still doing it. Someone has to stop him. Something has to end what he is up to. I know that mother would never have approved of anything that he has been doing. =
Rei interrupted Shinji's thoughts suddenly. "I am afraid Shinji. I do not want to face him anymore."
"I know Rei. He wont be able to get away with this anymore." Rei then put her arms around Shinji but winced at the pain in her side. Shinji knew that her ribs were at least bruised. "Let me help you to bed Rei."
"Shinji. Please don't... please stay with me."
"Ok Rei... I'm not leaving you."
=Soon enough. Don't worry anymore Rei. He'll get his. =
+++++
Shinji had slept over at Rei's that night. Rei insisted that he could share the bed with her but he slept on the floor anyway.
Since they were ordered to attend school they did so. Also a special order came from Ritsuko. If anyone were to ask how Rei had her injuries, she would say it was during the previous angel battle.
Shinji and Rei both had a good sleep because they knew the other was near... although Shinji still felt so much tension because of what his father had done.
The walk to school wasn't pleasant either because there was still major damage from the previous fight in the city. Shinji remembered the shelter that was destroyed. He still blamed himself for it even though everyone was telling him otherwise.
When they got to school there was hardly anyone there. Shinji could only think that they had been killed. Rei seemed to know what he was thinking so she leaned over and said, "many people have moved due to the numerous angel attacks. They are safe Shinji."
Then in walked Asuka trying to make her big entrance. "Hi everyone. I'm the new student. Asuka Langley Soryu. So everyone, where's..." her attention was drawn to Rei.
"Rei!! What happened to you? I saw you yesterday and there wasn't a scratch on you. What did you do to her baka Shinji?"
"During the angel attack I was injured."
"What are you talking about? I saw you after the angel attack. Sheesh. Never mind then. Live your secret little lives then you dumkoffs."
Asuka then went back to introducing herself to the class and making friends with everyone. Rei resumed looking out the window and Shinji scanned the classroom to see what everyone was doing. He noticed Hikari wasn't there today, which was strange for the class rep. Toji was sitting in the corner by himself with a solemn look on his face. Shinji was about to get up and talk to him but the teacher came in and class started.
As the monotonous voiced teacher left for lunch so did the class. Toji didn't move from his seat though. Shinji looked over to Rei and said that they should go and talk to him.
"Hey Toji, what's up. And where's Hikari."
"Hmm. You didn't hear? That shelter had her two sisters in it. She's at the memorial service probably. It's today. Only reason I didn't go with her cause she wanted me to fill in as class rep and Kensuke was absent cause he was upset about something or other. He didn't really tell me why." Toji then looked up and saw that Shinji had a blank look on his face.
"Shinji-man. Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault bro. I know there was nothing you could do. Don't let it get to you. We're still rooting for you, Rei, and even Asuka." Toji then saw Rei's face.
"What happened to you?"
"I was injured during the angel attack on the carrier fleet 'over the rainbow'."
"At least your still ok...I'll see you two later. I'm calling it a day here. I'm gonna visit my sister."
Rei said goodbye and then looked over to Shinji because he did not reply. "What is the matter Shinji"
"I'll be right back." Shinji said in a spaced out voice. He was so deep in his own thoughts that he couldn't do anything but walk off as if he was dead.
"Shinji..." was all Rei could say as she knew that something was terribly wrong with him. She followed him at a distance because she just had a bad feeling about it. She couldn't explain what it was.
Shinji had walked into the men's bathroom with his still forlorn look he had on his face.
"I don't deserve this. All these terrible things happening are my burden. If they could only make a replacement for me...what am I saying. They would never do that. As long as I'm alive they'll never let me rest. I'm all that this world has."
Shinji looked up at himself in the mirror. He used to enjoy just staring in his own eyes trying to understand what he was thinking. What he could look forward to. The only person he could depend on.
This time when he looked in the mirror he saw someone else. This person was weak and not the one that should be called the protector of mankind. He hated it. Everyone was relying on this person. Relying on him.
He had begun to hate himself. He didn't want his pathetic self to be such an important figure in everyone's dependant lives anymore.
Enraged by himself and his thought he punched his image in the mirror, breaking the glass.
Rei heard this and of course like anyone else would be, she was worried. She walked over slowly to the door to get into a better position to listen.
Shinji was now looking at his bloody hand. =It almost feels good. =
Shinji's face then had a small grin on it. "How far can I push it until it's too much."
"Why even worry? If I'm gone they can just get the next pilot here faster to fix what's broken"
Shinji picked up a broken piece of glass and stared at it for a moment. He ran the glass down his wrist to his forearm. Tilted his head back from the pain with his eye's closed. When he then started to feel no more pain he opened his eyes. "Unfamiliar ceiling." Shinji then started to laugh hysterically like he was talking about every good time he had ever had in his life.
Rei heard him and pushed open the door enough to look in. When she saw large amounts of blood by his feet she fully opened the door. "SHINJI!" She shouted as she ran to him. Shinji had just started to fall when he heard Rei's voice.
Rei was on the floor by Shinji holding his arm in the tightest grip that he had ever felt in his life. She was trying to stop the profound bleeding, even though it looked like she could do nothing.
Shinji looked into Rei's beautiful crimson eyes and said quietly. Just loud enough to be heard over her tears, "I'm sorry Rei...Goodbye" as he felt himself become numb and lifeless.
A/N: Asuka and Rei are going to have big parts together in the next chapter. Please review now. And all I can say about Shinji is... to be continued...