Declaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters
A/N: I'm glad for the reviews. They make me happy. And sorry for the delay with the chapter, but I had a mad case of writers block along with other things I am not allowed to talk about to the public.
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Chapter 11: the time to think
+++++
Such an emotionally filled night lead to a calm morning. But like all good things, it had to come to an end. Misato was the first person up, unlikely as that is, sitting at the kitchen table opening her first beer of the morning.
Shinji was suddenly awoken by the shout of Misato as she hit her empty beer can on the table. He figured it was about time to get up anyway. There was no point of him sleeping all the time. It would only fill his mind with bad dreams again.
=What the hell would I be doing awake that I couldn't do asleep.= Shinji closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Misato, now feeling awake, decided that it was time to come clean with the kids. The only way to get them trusting her would to start with her telling the truth. She needed everyone on her side if she was going to get the best of Gendo. Her relationship with the commander hasn't been a good one. But then again no one had a good relationship with him except for that short while when Rei was treated like his own daughter. How fast times could change she thought.
She would wake Asuka up last so she could have time to explain some of the situation to Rei and Shinji before Asuka started her ranting about what she saw last night.
Misato walked in Shinji and Rei's room expecting to catch them sleeping in one bed and was a little disappointed that she didn't. She wanted something to tease them about, which she thought would lighten up the mood a bit.
Shinji opened his eyes when he thought he heard moving. He saw Misato looking at Rei as if she was studying her. "Oh hey Shinji. Did you know that Rei sleeps with headphones on?"
"Yeah well...those are mine. But I told her she can use them whenever she wanted."
Misato had the biggest smile on her face. "That's so sweet of you to let your girlfriend use them. At least I didn't find the two of you in the same bed sharing something else."
"Wha?! Misato I...what...I...gee."
"Hehe. It's felt like I've known you for years Shinji. What would I do without you?" she said as she walked over to Rei and gave her a gentle shake.
Rei woke up with a surprised look on her face, as if she didn't know where she was for a moment. Then averting to her normal face once she realized that her new residence was here.
"Good morning captain," She said as she was taking her earphones off.
"Hi Rei. I have to talk to everyone about something kinda important. After you gather your bearings meet me in the kitchen okay," Misato said, walking out the room.
Misato was sitting at the table thinking about how much those two have been through. She was afraid to act different around them because she thought that they would pick up on it and resent her for it. No matter how much she would joke around with them, she really cared for them as if they were her own kids, even though she was just beginning to know them. They need a parent figure in their life after all. She hoped she could fill such a big role.
Just then Shinji walked in with Rei right behind him. They both sat down without saying a word. Misato felt a little intimidated with both of them for a moment, then shook it off.
"Ok, here's the story. I was ordered to have you two live with me to keep a record of all your interactions with everyone and everything. It's really important to Commander Ikari. But I know that he's up to something and well... with everything he's put you both through, I know it's not right."
Misato sat there not knowing what else she was supposed to say. She knew that she had to come up with a plan but first she wonder what Rei and Shinji thought about the situation. The silence was tense to say the least.
Even surprising herself, Rei broke the silence. "Then what is it that we are to do?"
"Right now I'm not sure. One thing I know is I have to get Ritsuko on our side. She knows NERV like the back of her hand. And she'll know what Gendo's up to."
"Doctor Akagi?" Rei said in an uneasy tone. She looked like she was concentrating one her words.
Shinji didn't know anything about the situation, but he knew that something about doctor Akagi made Rei feel uncomfortable.
Misato also caught on to Rei's dilemma. "What do you know about Ritsuko that I don't?"
Rei looked at Misato for a moment then said, "nothing that is of concern right now. Please excuse me." She walked back into her room with Misato and Shinji staring at her.
Misato now focused on Shinji. "Well it looks like if she's gonna spill her guts, its gonna be to you and not me. And definitely not Asuka."
Shinji could only nod in agreement with her. He knew that she was right, and besides, he wanted to be the one that Rei could find comfort in.
"Oh and can you tell her that she has a sync test today. I might as well give you something to start the conversation with."
Before Shinji could respond Asuka came out of almost nowhere and sat down where Rei had been sitting. Ignoring Shinji completely she said to Misato, "you had a whole night to think about what your gonna say. So what way you gonna tell us you're a spy. I bet you this baka here doesn't even know what's going on."
"Don't worry about it anymore Asuka. I'm not a spy, and I'm going to help you three get out of the mess that Gendo got you in."
"What the hell you talking about. I've never even met the guy. Why the hell would I be in a mess because of him?"
"Trust me Asuka, we're all in way over our head. He's planning something, and using us all to get it."
"urrrrgh. How can you just sit here and take this baka," She said as she pushed Shinji nearly out of his chair. She then walked into the living room and turned on the TV.
"soo..." Misato stopped as her cell phone rang in the other room. "One sec."
She closed her door because she new that most calls were a direct command from NERV. And on some of those rare occasions it was from the commander.
"Hello. Yes sir, she's scheduled for her sync test with unit 01. Yes sir. But commander? He just got out of the hospital yesterday. Don't you think that his mental con... Yes sir... I'll inform him."
Misato was confused at the last comment she heard. The commander said that he would not be present during the test and she was supposed to inform Shinji of that fact.
The commander had just scheduled a synch test for Shinji today right before Rei was to take hers. He wanted the information on that test very much.
=As long as the commander and Shinji wont be in the same place at the same time, I guess that's ok.=
An aggravated sigh escaped her as she walked back to the kitchen to break the news to Shinji.
Shinji was looking eagerly at her because he still didn't have a firm grasp of what was happening and he wanted all the information he could get. "Ok Shinji, there's a change of plans. You have a synch test today too. Its no big deal but you still can't pass it up. Ok?"
"I guess."
"Ok its settled. Go get your girl and we'll be off."
"Eh?"
"Hehe"
"Sheesh Misato."
With Shinji turning a good shade of red, he left the table with Misato giggling at him.
=He's such a good kid. I can't believe that yesterday he tried to kill himself and today it seems like nothing is wrong with him. That's probably just his was of dealing with problems. Ignoring it till it goes away. I hope he knows that's not the right way. But it does seem like it's the easiest. Doesn't it.=
++
When Shinji got to his room he saw Rei sitting on her bed looking out the window. Even though there was nothing to look at from that window but sky, it didn't matter to her.
"Hey Rei, we both have a synch test today. Maybe...we should get ready?"
"Very well Shinji," Rei said but didn't move from her position.
"What's wrong Rei?"
"Why is it that we must consult doctor Akagi with captain Katsuragi's plan?"
"Well... Misato said that she could help us. And that She knew everything there was to know about NERV."
"We must be cautious when we approach her. I think I must warn captain Katsuragi in the near future." Rei walked over to the closet picked out a school uniform and went o take a shower.
Rei didn't want to tell anyone about the relationship between Dr. Akagi and the commander, but she still wanted to help get out of all the mess she was in, to get away form Gendo and NERV all together. Her first step in making this dream a reality would be by telling Misato what she knew. Rei had always been on the inside track too in a way. She was never directly told what was happening but she heard a lot of it. She was always around the commander as long as she could remember and she picked up a few of NERV's secrets as well.
Every time that she was floating in a tube of LCL testing out data on what she overheard as the 'dummy plug system' the commander and doctor Akagi would talk about the deepest darkest secrets of the organization. They never asked if she could even hear out the glass or maybe they didn't mind that she could. It was possible that they never expected Rei to help plot against them one day.
++
Shinji got dressed not wanting to take a shower because he would just get the LCL smell on him right away. Asuka sat watching TV staying out of their business because she knew that they would come crawling to her for help later, which she couldn't wait for. Plus she was expecting a visit from Kaji and couldn't wait for everyone to get out and leave her alone with him.
Misato took the time to finish up her last beer and get on her jacket and id. Shinji was ready by then sitting at the table drinking a glass of water. "You got ready pretty quick Shinji, cant wait for that test huh?"
Shinji gave Misato a look like she crossed a line she shouldn't have. Misato saw his face go from casual to near tears of anger most likely. "To far huh? I'm sorry Shinji. Sometimes I can get a bit carried away. I know how you feel. Really. Just ignore me, but not to much now okay."
She patted him on the shoulder and then walked down the hall to get Rei. Tapping on the door she said, "Come on Rei. We don't wanna be late." Rei open the door and looked at her decisively.
"I am prepared captain."
"Rei when we're not at NERV call me Misato please."
"Very well." She walked to her bedroom to get her NERV card.
Misato went in the living room to tell Asuka that they would be gone for a couple hours and she would get some take out food when they got back. Asuka complained about how no one knew how to cook and she was tired of take out food.
Shinji heard her loud voice from the kitchen and thought that he could get on her good side if he were to cook something. He enjoyed it anyway. It helped him keep his mind in one place.
"Come on, come on, we gotta get going." Misato shouted from the front door.
Rei walked passed Misato followed by Shinji. "See ya Asuka, don't wait up for us incase it takes longer than expected."
Asuka mumbled to herself as Misato closed the door. Now she had the house to herself and time to prepare for Kaji. But still. She didn't like being alone for to long. She kept herself busy thinking of what her and Kaji would do when they went out. Sadly to say Asuka just expected him to come like he said he might. By now he had already made plans to be somewhere else.
+++++In the car+++++
Rei and Shinji were sitting in the back seat tightly buckled in. "you know you two don't always have to sit in the back. It makes me feel like I'm your chauffer.
Rei looked at her and Shinji gave a little chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head.
Rei then took advantage of the silence once again and thought now would be the best time to inform Misato about Ritsuko. "Excuse me Capt...Misato. About asking information from doctor Akagi, I strongly suggest that you reconsider."
"I trust you Rei, but I also trust Ritsuko."
"Do you know that everything she tells you is the truth? Or would not hide details from you if you would ask for them?"
Misato was silent because she knew that Ritsuko had some secrets about NERV that she never told anyone. Even when the two of them were alone. Rei had a point. "Rei you have to tell me what you know. But after we get home okay. You're gonna spill it all. I'm trusting that you'll tell us what we need to know. Then I'll know how to get to Ritsuko."
"That is acceptable captain."
"Rei please remember to call me Misato."
"We have entered NERV ground captain."
"...Oh."
Shinji couldn't help but laugh at how Rei and Misato interacted. No matter how serious their conversation was. They're worlds apart in the personality sense.
++
"Ok well these test shouldn't be too long. Hopefully I can treat you two to lunch instead of dinner. Buh bye"
Misato went to the control room so she could talk to Ritsuko a bit and try and drop some hints of turning against Gendo to see how she would react. Rei and Shinji went to go get into their plug suits.
Shinji was in his suit sitting on a bench scratching at his wrist a bit because of his stitches. He could see Rei's silhouette through a curtain. She was finishing putting on her suit.
"Hey Rei. How you feeling?"
Rei was unsure as to how she should answer. She sensed something in Shinji's voice that she had never heard before from him. It was fear mixed with compassion, boredom, and fatigue all in one. Perhaps if she told him that everything was well he would feel relieved. She didn't want to lie to him though.
"I feel...that the timing of this test is not considerate to our current conditions."
"Thanks Rei. You're not the only one that feels that way." Shinji was making his hand into a fist and then relaxing it. It was something he did when anything that was really bugging him.
"Rei...why are you still here. Caught up in all of this."
She remembered the words that Gendo told her threatening her and Shinji's well being if she were to disobey in any way.
"I am here now because of you Shinji." She said as a matter of fact.
It then hit Shinji like a ton of bricks. His father had said to Rei what he said to him. That hurting the other would be the punishment for mistakes.
"Damn it!" Shinji said as he hit his fist on the bench.
Rei pushed the curtain aside and went to sit down by Shinji. She didn't know why he was angry now. But she felt that she needed to help him express his anger in a non-destructive way this time.
"Shinji? What..."
Shinji cut her off.
"Promise me something Rei. If I'm the reason that you're here and that's the only reason, I need you to promise me something Rei."
"What Shinji?"
"Promise that if something were to happen to me...if I were to be killed in battle or anything like that...promise me you'll leave this hell. You'll get away no matter what it takes..."
"Please Shinji. I do not want anything to happen to you. I would not know what to do if you were not with me. I..."
Shinji interrupted Rei again.
"Rei please. Leave if you get the chance, and forget about this damn place and everything it's done. Please Rei."
Rei knew that Shinji was right. If 'god forbid' something were to happen she had to find a way to move on. In their line of work the chances something like this would happen is pretty high. No matter how much she thought about it she couldn't figure out a way too move on. She just hoped she would never have to decide. She would put up with all the control of Gendo and the policies of NERV just to stay in the same place with Shinji.
"I...promise...I will try."
+++
Rei was allowed to wait in the control room for her test, so she could observe as well. All the technicians were busy configuring and adjusting unit 01. Through all the activities in that room Misato along with Rei seemed to be doing nothing but standing there. Both were staring at unit 01 thinking of what was to come.
Misato tried to think of what she could tell Ritsuko. She came to the conclusion that she wouldn't do anything until she heard what Rei had to say.
Rei was becoming more and more worried about Shinji. Shinji was falling into depression and Rei didn't know how bad she was. So she would just try to focus on Shinji. The test was about to begin.
Ritsuko made some final adjustments and then opened a COM link to Shinji. "How you feeling Shinji. Any abnormalities."
"It's a little cold."
"Ok will try and work on that. Anything else different?"
"No."
"Ok where gonna start the test now. Just try to concentrate."
As the test began Shinji started to feel cold again, more so than before.
"Synch ratio at twenty five percent and steadily rising."
Everyone in the control room was surprised that he could even get the Eva to start, let alone have high enough synch to operate. Even though it was at a minimum. Suddenly the temperature dropped significantly and Shinji pulled his limbs close to himself to try and keep warm.
Unit 01 went threw a few spasms but didn't break from the restrains. Shinji felt a pain in his mind as if something was probing it.
"What's going on Ritsuko?!" Misato shouted
Rei pressed her hands against the safety glass with a concern on Shinji. She was relieved to see that unit 01 had stopped moving and Shinji response to Ritsuko's voice now.
"I...I...I'm ok now. C...can I please get out now."
"Open the entry plug!" Misato ordered.
The ice cold LCL was ejected from the entry plug and Shinji stumbled out and fell on his knees. Rei was already down there waiting for him.
She helped him up and was startled by how cold Shinji was to the touch. The LCL was about forty degrees and Shinji seemed like he was suffering from hypothermia.
Before Shinji or Rei could say anything, medics were already examining him.
With Shinji wrapped in a heated blanket he had a relaxing smile on his face. Even though he was shivering. Ritsuko was down now to check on Shinji and hopefully get some questions answered.
"Shinji what happened in there."
"it got really r...really cold. Th...Then something weird happened. It felt almost like...someone was in my mind. It was someone familiar but it still hurt when they were there."
"Hmm." Ritsuko hadn't expected something like this to happen so early Shinji's exposure to the Eva. It appears that it's trying to form a bond with him, or reach out in a way. =At least this pilot is still here. He didn't disappear on us.=
Misato knew that something was on Ritsuko's mind. She was watching her to try and get a feel of what she would have to face pretty soon. She hoped that her fears were wrong when it came to her.
"Shinji let's get you up to the control room and some more blankets on you. Ok?"
"Sh...sure Misato."
++
Seeing as how Shinji was ok, everyone let out a sigh of relief. Now it was time to ready unit 01 for Rei and her test.
"We'll get to work on configuring unit 01 to Rei now." Ritsuko said as she went back to the controls.
Shinji perked up right away when he heard Rei was going into unit 01. "Why's Rei syncing with unit 01."
Ritsuko felt uncomfortable now. No one had told him that Rei would be substituting as pilot for him until he was deemed mentally stable again. She hated to give the bad news but she was always seemed the one that had it. Sometimes she hated knowing all the finer details of NERV.
"well Shinji. Rei's going to be piloting unit 01 until you recover. Her unit 00 is still being repaired and until you or unit 00 are ready, she's unit 01's new pilot."
Shinji didn't have anything to say to that. He knew that it was logical but he still didn't like the fact that Rei would be putting herself in danger and he wouldn't be able to protect her. All he could do was hope that an angels didn't attack until he was back in unit 01.
Unit 01 had made a sort of bond with Shinji while he was in there. He was just starting to remember what it said to him
++
Configurations were complete and Rei was in unit 01's entry plug waiting for startup. "All systems normal." Rei said as she began to sync with unit 01.
Rei was coming in at seventy five percent, which was expected. She had been in unit 01 before and synced. Being the first child, she was the most versatile pilot. Able to keep an average in all the Eva's
Rei's concentration was broke when she heard a faint noise in her mind. A sound that could only be described as feedback. Ritsuko noticed a diminutive change in Rei's brain pattern.
"Rei is everything all right?"
"I am having trouble concentration. There is and increasing noise in..." Rei closed her eyes hard, showing signs of pain. She made and inaudible scream then all contact with the pilot was cut.
++
"Where am I?"
Rei was standing on an open plane with a desert landscape. She knew it had to be a dream but something was different about this one. She felt like she wasn't alone. Like she wasn't the only person having this dream.
Her physical body wasn't there. She could see and hear but that was the extent of her senses. She looked down to where her hands and body should be but there was nothing. She was invisible even to herself. Over the horizon she saw a sun rise to noon position. Slowly it began to turn dark. She looked up and there was an eclipse-taking place. She couldn't help but stare at this natural wonder.
Once it was completely dark and only a ring of the suns light was visible. The very center of it grew bright red. The earth began to shake and fiery fissures opened all around her. Black and red where most dominate. With a blinding flash and a deafening noise she began to feel the heat of the ever- growing sun.
Before it became too unbearable she was in total darkness. She had her body back but still couldn't move. She could feel someone standing behind her.
"That is what can be prevented in a sense."
"How can one prevent such natural disasters from occurring?"
"That is just representing what will come to be if certain actions are not taken. But believe me. The events you saw would be a god send compared to what is in stored for humans. It will be almost as difficult to stop as these disasters, yet it is completely possible."
"Where am I," Rei was flooded with questions she wanted to ask but couldn't come up with what she wanted to say. Simply talking to this familiar voice she felt a sense of relief but she was still mystified.
"You are sitting in unit 01's entry plug. And time is standing still in this place of existence compared to that world. We are simply in your mind Rei. Unit 01 allows your mind to free itself."
Now Rei knew what she wanted to ask. "Who are you?"
"That is not important. The question is who are you?"
"I am Rei Ayanami."
"That is your given name. But who are you. How can you define your self? What is your purpose?"
"I do not understand."
"Everyone has a purpose whether it be small or phenomenal."
"Which do I fall under?"
"You are a key factor in the fate of many lives. But one life in particular. Shinji is greatly affected by you, as you know. You're going to have to make a choice Rei. Once everything seems like it's lost and every sense you have left tells you to give up. You must remember that he needs you to fulfill his destiny. Do not every give up Rei, this is my only chance to warn you of how dire the consequences would be if you lost hope."
"Tell me what that means?"
"I'm sorry Rei. Our time is up. I'm glad to have met you at least once...Never give up Rei. We need you."
++
"Rei what kind of noise is it?" Ritsuko asked casually.
Rei felt as if she had just woken up. "Noise?" it took a second to remember what doctor Akagi was asking her about, "the noise has stopped. But I believe I have had a hallucination."
"What kind of hallucination Rei?"
Rei not wanting to reveal anything, she said plainly, "I do not remember."
"That's enough for today Rei. We have all the information we need."
++
"Well that was over with pretty quick, right guys? I'm glad too. Now we can relax a bit." Misato said cheerily from behind the wheel of her speeding car. Looking in the rear-view-mirror she could see that Rei was holding on to Shinji's arm but starting blankly at the seat in front of her. "What's bugging you Rei?"
"I am unsure of what I have experienced in unit 01."
Shinji looked over at her placed his free arm on her shoulder; "you can talk to us about it if you want to Rei."
Rei nodded. Its time to get out of NERV and start what she's only heard about. A normal life was waiting for her. Once all the angels were defeated it would be over. She could now look forward to the end, but still had a sinking feeling in the back of her mind of what her vision said.
+++
"Ha! your back already. I thought it was gonna take long. Kaji hasn't even called me yet... why's everyone look so grim? I'm the one that should be upset. I bet you didn't even bring back anything to eat like you said you would."
"Sorry Asuka I forgot to get something. I'll just order something right now. It'll all give us time to listen to what Rei has to say."
"What's she got to tell us that we don't already know?"
"I have knowledge of NERV from before Shinji and you arrived, as well as information that is not accessible to that of captain Misato."
"Sounds important, Asuka," Shinji said as he clutched one of the heat blankets closer to himself.
Rei went in to the kitchen to sit and wait for everyone.
"Whatever third child, you just think it's important cause it's Rei's information," she pushed him out of her way as she went into the kitchen.
Misato laughed and rustled Shinji's hair. "Come one Shinji, foods on its way. We gotta get her talking before it gets here."
++
It was dead silent. Everyone sat staring at Rei, even Shinji. But he did it because he knew that she was going through a lot just sitting here waiting for people to hear her talk. Not knowing what else to do he took her hand in his under the table and gave it a little squeeze. When she looked at him he nodded and she responded the same.
"Where shall I start?"
"Lets start with the info on Ritsuko and why we have to be cautious around her too."
"I believe that she has a resentment towards me."
"What's she got against you wonder girl?" Asuka said sarcastically.
"That is not the only reason she will not be easy to sway. She has a relationship with the commander. She would most likely chose to side with him as she has been doing throughout her career at NERV."
"Eww gross. Her and the commander? I've heard enough of this." Asuka then got up and left for her room.
Ritsuko sat there looking like she had just walked in on the commander and Ritsuko. Now she really didn't know what to do.
Now it was Shinji's turn to ask a question. "Why do you think that doctor Akagi doesn't like you?" This caught Misato's attention again. Perhaps knowing could somehow help he situation.
"She wanted more...attention from the commander. He was elsewhere when she needed him."
"With you Rei?"
Rei was reluctant to answer the question. She didn't like talking about her and the commander. How they were before, when he was like a father to her.
"...that is correct."
Misato looked like she had a plan. "I can still talk to her. Gendo has obviously changed in this past month dramatically. I'm sure Ritsuko noticed. Maybe I can use that to gain some ground...I need to think some more about this."
Misato knew that once Gendo changed, Rei was pushed away. =Maybe the same thing would happen to Ritsuko, but she wasn't treated badly like Rei was. Poor girl's been through hell cause of him. How many times do I have to remind myself of that? Anyways... I need a beer.=
Misato's cell phone rang, "Damn, this can't be good. Two calls from NERV in one day." She answered and low and behold it was Gendo, ready with another command for her.
The conversation was straight to the point. She only had enough time to say 'yes sir' as he hung up.
Misato had a sad look on her face. "Toji Hikari and Kensuke are on their way over here. Their coming to see how you two are doing."
"How you know they're coming right now Misato?"
"NERV has an eye on Toji. I have some news they want me to break to him."
Right on cue the doorbell rang. Asuka ran to the door hoping it was Kaji come to keep his promise to her. "oh...yes?"
"umm are Rei and Shinji here?"
"Who's asking?"
"I'm Hikari, this is Toji and Kensuke. We came to see how they're doing."
"Wonder girl and that baka are fine. Come on in and see for yourself."
Before they came in Hikari wanted to know this girls name. "I'm sorry I didn't get your name."
"my name's Asuka Langley Soryu. The pleasure is yours of course. Now come on in will you."
"Boy it sure is nice to meet you." Kensuke said sarcastically.
"Watch who your talking to." Asuka said as she grabbed him by his shirt collar.
Hikari laughed and walked in motioning for Toji to do the same.
Asuka released her hold on Kensuke and walked into the living room. The crowd followed her. Misato came in and said hello to everyone. "Rei and Shinji will be out in a sec. There talking about something or other."
"oh umm, maybe we should come back later then. We don't want to interrupt anything." A nervous Hikari said.
"Oh don't be silly, they'll be glad you came to see them." Misato said.
"Umm...hi everyone," Shinji said. He still had a blanket around him and Rei was standing behind him looking like a scared child hiding behind something.
"Isn't it a little hot for a blanket Shinji-man?"
"Something happened during a synch test today. Long story."
Hikari noticed that Rei had a large bruise on her face. She didn't want to draw attention to it but Kensuke went ahead and pointed it out anyway. "Hey Rei what happened to you? I didn't know that you were hurt too."
"I was injured during the last angel battle," but before people could even accept this as an excuse Asuka went and gave her info on the case.
"You know what Rei, I saw you when the battle was over and you were perfectly fine. So it had to of happened after we got back on land. What are you hiding?"
Everyone was staring at Rei. She hated when many people paid attention to her. "I think I shall take a shower now. Excuse me."
"Ah fine then. Don't tell us." Asuka sat down and the couch by Hikari as Misato came up to Shinji. "Hey Shinji, what really happened to her. I never even thought to ask about it."
"I really don't wanna talk about it."
"Cause you probably did it to her didn't you." Asuka harshly said.
"Asuka! You know Shinji would never do that. Especially to Rei of all people." Misato wanted to defend Shinji cause she knew that he would just take it and let it build up inside.
"Well then why won't he tell us if he knows?"
"My...father did that. He was angry with Rei. He's the one that beat her. There's your answer. Happy now?" he then walked to his room and shut the door behind him. No one said anything. They weren't expecting that to have happened. But it did make a lot of sense. Who else could have done it?
Asuka knew that she went a bit too far that time. She of course didn't want to admit it, so she just got up and went to her room.
"maybe we should talk to them," Hikari said. "I know I should talk to Shinji first. He's the reason I came really. I have something I need to tell him."
Hikari walked down the hall and read the sigh on the door. Rei and Shinji's lovely suite. A smile crossed her lips as she pushed open the door. "Shinji? I need to talk to you. It's important."
"What about?"
"Toji said that after you heard what happened to my sisters you...hurt yourself. I know that helped push you to do it. I...just wanted to say...I'm sorry Shinji. I don't want you to think that it's your fault."
"Then whose fault is it?"
"People don't always have to take the blame for mistakes Shinji. Sometimes things just happen. A lot rides on you, but not everything. Maybe you should take some time to yourself and sort out what's bugging you. That's what I did, and now I can face my problems. "
Shinji whispered very lowly so Hikari couldn't hear, "words of encouragement."
"What you say?"
"Nothing...thanks Hikari. I did something I regret now. I'm gonna take some time to myself. You're the second person to say I should do so."
Rei was finished with her shower by then and stood beside Hikari looking at Shinji. "Never give up Shinji. We need you." Hikari's words made Rei eyes widen. She remembered those being the last words that she had heard in unit 01. Hikari turned and looked at Rei. "You either Rei. Don't let things get you down." she put her hand on her shoulder then walked back to the living room.
"Hikari's words have reminded me of past memories."
"Memories of what Rei?"
"Of what happened in Unit 01. And of...dreams I have had. I have been having more memories fill my thoughts recently. The short while I was in the shower I came to a disturbing realization of myself. "
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong Rei?"
"I never remember being a child except for one memory. But I know that it could not be a real memory. I have always had dreams of it but now that I think of it more...I do not believe it is just a mere dream."
Shinji sat Rei down on the bed because now she was looking like she was about to faint.
"Inside unit 01 a voiced asked me who I was. I said that I was Rei Ayanami, but now I do not think that I am."
"What are you talking about Rei? Who do you think you are?"
"I remember dieing Shinji. I remember being choked to death."
"You know that cant be true Rei. You're still here talking to me. You couldn't have been killed."
"I am the second Rei. I was cloned after I was killed. The commander saw fit to bring me back."
"who...why...who do you think killed you?"
"I can not recognize her. But I do remember hearing a gunshot."
"It can't be true Rei, that couldn't have happened. You...are you really a clone?"
"I believe so Shinji. My experience in unit 01 today has brought about me questioning myself. I do not even think that I am fully human anymore. I do not know how to grasp these perplexed feelings."
"We need time to think. I need to think about everything. And I don't know how long that'll take. I need to go somewhere. Somewhere I haven't been for a long time." Shinji then got a backpack and stuffed some clothes into it.
"Shinji...please don't. I..." Rei couldn't say anymore because her eyes were starting to tear up.
"I'm sorry Rei, this is important. Something in unit 01 made me question myself too. I need to find the answer for myself." Shinji remembered one thing in particular that voice said. How can you help others up from a fall, if you yourself are not standing strong?
Rei didn't expect Shinji to leave. That was the last thing that she would ever think of. "Don't leave Shinji. I do not want you to leave me. I'm sorry for telling you."
Seeing tears roll down Rei's cheeks Shinji knew that she was still a human being after all. No matter what she thought. "It's nothing you said Rei. It just something I've been putting off for years. I think its time I gave someone a visit. It always helped me stay strong."
"Please Shinji. Don't, I could not bare to never see you again."
"What? Rei I'm coming back, that you can count on. I need to sort things out, that's all. I swear I'll be back Rei."
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know. But I'm leaving now." Shinji picked up his bag and turned to take a last look at Rei before he left. She was still broken up about it. Somehow he thought that she did not believe that he would be coming back. Shinji walked over to Rei and gave her an immense embrace. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. "I'm coming back Rei. I swear," Rei then leaned in and gently brush her lips against Shinji's.
"I shall wait for you then Shinji."
+++
Hikari was now in Asuka's room. Toji and Kensuke were still sitting on the couch talking amongst themselves because Misato was in her room with the excuse of going through some papers really quick. In reality she was going over what she would tell Toji. He was the fourth child and would become a pilot as soon as unit 03 was sent from America.
She came out and saw him and Kensuke sitting there, looking bored out of their minds. "Um hey can I borrow Toji for a second. I need to talk to him really quick."
"Uhh sure," Toji responded.
"You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen Kensuke, we won't be long."
Misato lead Toji out onto the balcony. That way they wouldn't be interrupted.
"So what's up?" Toji said to fill the silence.
"You know how it is we chose pilots right? By the Marduke report. It chooses the best possible candidates for the Eva. You've been chosen as the fourth child. The pilot of unit 03."
"What if I refuse? What if I don't want to be a pilot?"
"We can always get someone else but there's a chance it could be one of your friends or someone you know. And I was told to tell you that we could get your sister the best treatment available. NERV will pay for everything. Unit 03 isn't even in the same continent as us. It'll be a while before it gets here."
Toji stared out in the distance. He knew that that would be his reason why he would pilot. He didn't want to take a chance in passing up such a good opportunity for his sister. "I'll do it for my sister."
"So how are you going to tell everyone?"
" I don't think I will. Not until I have to at least. When does unit 03 get here?"
"I'm not sure. Our estimated time is about a month. So you have a month to get things in order. You should talk to Shinji, Rei or Asuka about what its like, if you wanna know."
"From knowing those three I know what it's like... I'll do anything for my sister." Toji opened the sliding door and went back in the house. Misato took a moment to think on how she probably just ruined that boy's life just now. She hated NERV so much.
+++++On a secured line+++++
"Commander, its Ritsuko. I have some information on Rei."
"What is it?"
"Her brain waves indicate increased activities in parts that we have purposely made dormant."
"Which parts?"
"The parts that affect long term memories."
"Come up with a way to fix it. If not then we will have to have her replaced. I want your solution to the problem soon." -------- +++++
A/N: so comes the end of another chapter. Please take some time to review now, I know if you read all this then you can spare some review time. Please?
A/N: I'm glad for the reviews. They make me happy. And sorry for the delay with the chapter, but I had a mad case of writers block along with other things I am not allowed to talk about to the public.
---------------------
Chapter 11: the time to think
+++++
Such an emotionally filled night lead to a calm morning. But like all good things, it had to come to an end. Misato was the first person up, unlikely as that is, sitting at the kitchen table opening her first beer of the morning.
Shinji was suddenly awoken by the shout of Misato as she hit her empty beer can on the table. He figured it was about time to get up anyway. There was no point of him sleeping all the time. It would only fill his mind with bad dreams again.
=What the hell would I be doing awake that I couldn't do asleep.= Shinji closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Misato, now feeling awake, decided that it was time to come clean with the kids. The only way to get them trusting her would to start with her telling the truth. She needed everyone on her side if she was going to get the best of Gendo. Her relationship with the commander hasn't been a good one. But then again no one had a good relationship with him except for that short while when Rei was treated like his own daughter. How fast times could change she thought.
She would wake Asuka up last so she could have time to explain some of the situation to Rei and Shinji before Asuka started her ranting about what she saw last night.
Misato walked in Shinji and Rei's room expecting to catch them sleeping in one bed and was a little disappointed that she didn't. She wanted something to tease them about, which she thought would lighten up the mood a bit.
Shinji opened his eyes when he thought he heard moving. He saw Misato looking at Rei as if she was studying her. "Oh hey Shinji. Did you know that Rei sleeps with headphones on?"
"Yeah well...those are mine. But I told her she can use them whenever she wanted."
Misato had the biggest smile on her face. "That's so sweet of you to let your girlfriend use them. At least I didn't find the two of you in the same bed sharing something else."
"Wha?! Misato I...what...I...gee."
"Hehe. It's felt like I've known you for years Shinji. What would I do without you?" she said as she walked over to Rei and gave her a gentle shake.
Rei woke up with a surprised look on her face, as if she didn't know where she was for a moment. Then averting to her normal face once she realized that her new residence was here.
"Good morning captain," She said as she was taking her earphones off.
"Hi Rei. I have to talk to everyone about something kinda important. After you gather your bearings meet me in the kitchen okay," Misato said, walking out the room.
Misato was sitting at the table thinking about how much those two have been through. She was afraid to act different around them because she thought that they would pick up on it and resent her for it. No matter how much she would joke around with them, she really cared for them as if they were her own kids, even though she was just beginning to know them. They need a parent figure in their life after all. She hoped she could fill such a big role.
Just then Shinji walked in with Rei right behind him. They both sat down without saying a word. Misato felt a little intimidated with both of them for a moment, then shook it off.
"Ok, here's the story. I was ordered to have you two live with me to keep a record of all your interactions with everyone and everything. It's really important to Commander Ikari. But I know that he's up to something and well... with everything he's put you both through, I know it's not right."
Misato sat there not knowing what else she was supposed to say. She knew that she had to come up with a plan but first she wonder what Rei and Shinji thought about the situation. The silence was tense to say the least.
Even surprising herself, Rei broke the silence. "Then what is it that we are to do?"
"Right now I'm not sure. One thing I know is I have to get Ritsuko on our side. She knows NERV like the back of her hand. And she'll know what Gendo's up to."
"Doctor Akagi?" Rei said in an uneasy tone. She looked like she was concentrating one her words.
Shinji didn't know anything about the situation, but he knew that something about doctor Akagi made Rei feel uncomfortable.
Misato also caught on to Rei's dilemma. "What do you know about Ritsuko that I don't?"
Rei looked at Misato for a moment then said, "nothing that is of concern right now. Please excuse me." She walked back into her room with Misato and Shinji staring at her.
Misato now focused on Shinji. "Well it looks like if she's gonna spill her guts, its gonna be to you and not me. And definitely not Asuka."
Shinji could only nod in agreement with her. He knew that she was right, and besides, he wanted to be the one that Rei could find comfort in.
"Oh and can you tell her that she has a sync test today. I might as well give you something to start the conversation with."
Before Shinji could respond Asuka came out of almost nowhere and sat down where Rei had been sitting. Ignoring Shinji completely she said to Misato, "you had a whole night to think about what your gonna say. So what way you gonna tell us you're a spy. I bet you this baka here doesn't even know what's going on."
"Don't worry about it anymore Asuka. I'm not a spy, and I'm going to help you three get out of the mess that Gendo got you in."
"What the hell you talking about. I've never even met the guy. Why the hell would I be in a mess because of him?"
"Trust me Asuka, we're all in way over our head. He's planning something, and using us all to get it."
"urrrrgh. How can you just sit here and take this baka," She said as she pushed Shinji nearly out of his chair. She then walked into the living room and turned on the TV.
"soo..." Misato stopped as her cell phone rang in the other room. "One sec."
She closed her door because she new that most calls were a direct command from NERV. And on some of those rare occasions it was from the commander.
"Hello. Yes sir, she's scheduled for her sync test with unit 01. Yes sir. But commander? He just got out of the hospital yesterday. Don't you think that his mental con... Yes sir... I'll inform him."
Misato was confused at the last comment she heard. The commander said that he would not be present during the test and she was supposed to inform Shinji of that fact.
The commander had just scheduled a synch test for Shinji today right before Rei was to take hers. He wanted the information on that test very much.
=As long as the commander and Shinji wont be in the same place at the same time, I guess that's ok.=
An aggravated sigh escaped her as she walked back to the kitchen to break the news to Shinji.
Shinji was looking eagerly at her because he still didn't have a firm grasp of what was happening and he wanted all the information he could get. "Ok Shinji, there's a change of plans. You have a synch test today too. Its no big deal but you still can't pass it up. Ok?"
"I guess."
"Ok its settled. Go get your girl and we'll be off."
"Eh?"
"Hehe"
"Sheesh Misato."
With Shinji turning a good shade of red, he left the table with Misato giggling at him.
=He's such a good kid. I can't believe that yesterday he tried to kill himself and today it seems like nothing is wrong with him. That's probably just his was of dealing with problems. Ignoring it till it goes away. I hope he knows that's not the right way. But it does seem like it's the easiest. Doesn't it.=
++
When Shinji got to his room he saw Rei sitting on her bed looking out the window. Even though there was nothing to look at from that window but sky, it didn't matter to her.
"Hey Rei, we both have a synch test today. Maybe...we should get ready?"
"Very well Shinji," Rei said but didn't move from her position.
"What's wrong Rei?"
"Why is it that we must consult doctor Akagi with captain Katsuragi's plan?"
"Well... Misato said that she could help us. And that She knew everything there was to know about NERV."
"We must be cautious when we approach her. I think I must warn captain Katsuragi in the near future." Rei walked over to the closet picked out a school uniform and went o take a shower.
Rei didn't want to tell anyone about the relationship between Dr. Akagi and the commander, but she still wanted to help get out of all the mess she was in, to get away form Gendo and NERV all together. Her first step in making this dream a reality would be by telling Misato what she knew. Rei had always been on the inside track too in a way. She was never directly told what was happening but she heard a lot of it. She was always around the commander as long as she could remember and she picked up a few of NERV's secrets as well.
Every time that she was floating in a tube of LCL testing out data on what she overheard as the 'dummy plug system' the commander and doctor Akagi would talk about the deepest darkest secrets of the organization. They never asked if she could even hear out the glass or maybe they didn't mind that she could. It was possible that they never expected Rei to help plot against them one day.
++
Shinji got dressed not wanting to take a shower because he would just get the LCL smell on him right away. Asuka sat watching TV staying out of their business because she knew that they would come crawling to her for help later, which she couldn't wait for. Plus she was expecting a visit from Kaji and couldn't wait for everyone to get out and leave her alone with him.
Misato took the time to finish up her last beer and get on her jacket and id. Shinji was ready by then sitting at the table drinking a glass of water. "You got ready pretty quick Shinji, cant wait for that test huh?"
Shinji gave Misato a look like she crossed a line she shouldn't have. Misato saw his face go from casual to near tears of anger most likely. "To far huh? I'm sorry Shinji. Sometimes I can get a bit carried away. I know how you feel. Really. Just ignore me, but not to much now okay."
She patted him on the shoulder and then walked down the hall to get Rei. Tapping on the door she said, "Come on Rei. We don't wanna be late." Rei open the door and looked at her decisively.
"I am prepared captain."
"Rei when we're not at NERV call me Misato please."
"Very well." She walked to her bedroom to get her NERV card.
Misato went in the living room to tell Asuka that they would be gone for a couple hours and she would get some take out food when they got back. Asuka complained about how no one knew how to cook and she was tired of take out food.
Shinji heard her loud voice from the kitchen and thought that he could get on her good side if he were to cook something. He enjoyed it anyway. It helped him keep his mind in one place.
"Come on, come on, we gotta get going." Misato shouted from the front door.
Rei walked passed Misato followed by Shinji. "See ya Asuka, don't wait up for us incase it takes longer than expected."
Asuka mumbled to herself as Misato closed the door. Now she had the house to herself and time to prepare for Kaji. But still. She didn't like being alone for to long. She kept herself busy thinking of what her and Kaji would do when they went out. Sadly to say Asuka just expected him to come like he said he might. By now he had already made plans to be somewhere else.
+++++In the car+++++
Rei and Shinji were sitting in the back seat tightly buckled in. "you know you two don't always have to sit in the back. It makes me feel like I'm your chauffer.
Rei looked at her and Shinji gave a little chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head.
Rei then took advantage of the silence once again and thought now would be the best time to inform Misato about Ritsuko. "Excuse me Capt...Misato. About asking information from doctor Akagi, I strongly suggest that you reconsider."
"I trust you Rei, but I also trust Ritsuko."
"Do you know that everything she tells you is the truth? Or would not hide details from you if you would ask for them?"
Misato was silent because she knew that Ritsuko had some secrets about NERV that she never told anyone. Even when the two of them were alone. Rei had a point. "Rei you have to tell me what you know. But after we get home okay. You're gonna spill it all. I'm trusting that you'll tell us what we need to know. Then I'll know how to get to Ritsuko."
"That is acceptable captain."
"Rei please remember to call me Misato."
"We have entered NERV ground captain."
"...Oh."
Shinji couldn't help but laugh at how Rei and Misato interacted. No matter how serious their conversation was. They're worlds apart in the personality sense.
++
"Ok well these test shouldn't be too long. Hopefully I can treat you two to lunch instead of dinner. Buh bye"
Misato went to the control room so she could talk to Ritsuko a bit and try and drop some hints of turning against Gendo to see how she would react. Rei and Shinji went to go get into their plug suits.
Shinji was in his suit sitting on a bench scratching at his wrist a bit because of his stitches. He could see Rei's silhouette through a curtain. She was finishing putting on her suit.
"Hey Rei. How you feeling?"
Rei was unsure as to how she should answer. She sensed something in Shinji's voice that she had never heard before from him. It was fear mixed with compassion, boredom, and fatigue all in one. Perhaps if she told him that everything was well he would feel relieved. She didn't want to lie to him though.
"I feel...that the timing of this test is not considerate to our current conditions."
"Thanks Rei. You're not the only one that feels that way." Shinji was making his hand into a fist and then relaxing it. It was something he did when anything that was really bugging him.
"Rei...why are you still here. Caught up in all of this."
She remembered the words that Gendo told her threatening her and Shinji's well being if she were to disobey in any way.
"I am here now because of you Shinji." She said as a matter of fact.
It then hit Shinji like a ton of bricks. His father had said to Rei what he said to him. That hurting the other would be the punishment for mistakes.
"Damn it!" Shinji said as he hit his fist on the bench.
Rei pushed the curtain aside and went to sit down by Shinji. She didn't know why he was angry now. But she felt that she needed to help him express his anger in a non-destructive way this time.
"Shinji? What..."
Shinji cut her off.
"Promise me something Rei. If I'm the reason that you're here and that's the only reason, I need you to promise me something Rei."
"What Shinji?"
"Promise that if something were to happen to me...if I were to be killed in battle or anything like that...promise me you'll leave this hell. You'll get away no matter what it takes..."
"Please Shinji. I do not want anything to happen to you. I would not know what to do if you were not with me. I..."
Shinji interrupted Rei again.
"Rei please. Leave if you get the chance, and forget about this damn place and everything it's done. Please Rei."
Rei knew that Shinji was right. If 'god forbid' something were to happen she had to find a way to move on. In their line of work the chances something like this would happen is pretty high. No matter how much she thought about it she couldn't figure out a way too move on. She just hoped she would never have to decide. She would put up with all the control of Gendo and the policies of NERV just to stay in the same place with Shinji.
"I...promise...I will try."
+++
Rei was allowed to wait in the control room for her test, so she could observe as well. All the technicians were busy configuring and adjusting unit 01. Through all the activities in that room Misato along with Rei seemed to be doing nothing but standing there. Both were staring at unit 01 thinking of what was to come.
Misato tried to think of what she could tell Ritsuko. She came to the conclusion that she wouldn't do anything until she heard what Rei had to say.
Rei was becoming more and more worried about Shinji. Shinji was falling into depression and Rei didn't know how bad she was. So she would just try to focus on Shinji. The test was about to begin.
Ritsuko made some final adjustments and then opened a COM link to Shinji. "How you feeling Shinji. Any abnormalities."
"It's a little cold."
"Ok will try and work on that. Anything else different?"
"No."
"Ok where gonna start the test now. Just try to concentrate."
As the test began Shinji started to feel cold again, more so than before.
"Synch ratio at twenty five percent and steadily rising."
Everyone in the control room was surprised that he could even get the Eva to start, let alone have high enough synch to operate. Even though it was at a minimum. Suddenly the temperature dropped significantly and Shinji pulled his limbs close to himself to try and keep warm.
Unit 01 went threw a few spasms but didn't break from the restrains. Shinji felt a pain in his mind as if something was probing it.
"What's going on Ritsuko?!" Misato shouted
Rei pressed her hands against the safety glass with a concern on Shinji. She was relieved to see that unit 01 had stopped moving and Shinji response to Ritsuko's voice now.
"I...I...I'm ok now. C...can I please get out now."
"Open the entry plug!" Misato ordered.
The ice cold LCL was ejected from the entry plug and Shinji stumbled out and fell on his knees. Rei was already down there waiting for him.
She helped him up and was startled by how cold Shinji was to the touch. The LCL was about forty degrees and Shinji seemed like he was suffering from hypothermia.
Before Shinji or Rei could say anything, medics were already examining him.
With Shinji wrapped in a heated blanket he had a relaxing smile on his face. Even though he was shivering. Ritsuko was down now to check on Shinji and hopefully get some questions answered.
"Shinji what happened in there."
"it got really r...really cold. Th...Then something weird happened. It felt almost like...someone was in my mind. It was someone familiar but it still hurt when they were there."
"Hmm." Ritsuko hadn't expected something like this to happen so early Shinji's exposure to the Eva. It appears that it's trying to form a bond with him, or reach out in a way. =At least this pilot is still here. He didn't disappear on us.=
Misato knew that something was on Ritsuko's mind. She was watching her to try and get a feel of what she would have to face pretty soon. She hoped that her fears were wrong when it came to her.
"Shinji let's get you up to the control room and some more blankets on you. Ok?"
"Sh...sure Misato."
++
Seeing as how Shinji was ok, everyone let out a sigh of relief. Now it was time to ready unit 01 for Rei and her test.
"We'll get to work on configuring unit 01 to Rei now." Ritsuko said as she went back to the controls.
Shinji perked up right away when he heard Rei was going into unit 01. "Why's Rei syncing with unit 01."
Ritsuko felt uncomfortable now. No one had told him that Rei would be substituting as pilot for him until he was deemed mentally stable again. She hated to give the bad news but she was always seemed the one that had it. Sometimes she hated knowing all the finer details of NERV.
"well Shinji. Rei's going to be piloting unit 01 until you recover. Her unit 00 is still being repaired and until you or unit 00 are ready, she's unit 01's new pilot."
Shinji didn't have anything to say to that. He knew that it was logical but he still didn't like the fact that Rei would be putting herself in danger and he wouldn't be able to protect her. All he could do was hope that an angels didn't attack until he was back in unit 01.
Unit 01 had made a sort of bond with Shinji while he was in there. He was just starting to remember what it said to him
++
Configurations were complete and Rei was in unit 01's entry plug waiting for startup. "All systems normal." Rei said as she began to sync with unit 01.
Rei was coming in at seventy five percent, which was expected. She had been in unit 01 before and synced. Being the first child, she was the most versatile pilot. Able to keep an average in all the Eva's
Rei's concentration was broke when she heard a faint noise in her mind. A sound that could only be described as feedback. Ritsuko noticed a diminutive change in Rei's brain pattern.
"Rei is everything all right?"
"I am having trouble concentration. There is and increasing noise in..." Rei closed her eyes hard, showing signs of pain. She made and inaudible scream then all contact with the pilot was cut.
++
"Where am I?"
Rei was standing on an open plane with a desert landscape. She knew it had to be a dream but something was different about this one. She felt like she wasn't alone. Like she wasn't the only person having this dream.
Her physical body wasn't there. She could see and hear but that was the extent of her senses. She looked down to where her hands and body should be but there was nothing. She was invisible even to herself. Over the horizon she saw a sun rise to noon position. Slowly it began to turn dark. She looked up and there was an eclipse-taking place. She couldn't help but stare at this natural wonder.
Once it was completely dark and only a ring of the suns light was visible. The very center of it grew bright red. The earth began to shake and fiery fissures opened all around her. Black and red where most dominate. With a blinding flash and a deafening noise she began to feel the heat of the ever- growing sun.
Before it became too unbearable she was in total darkness. She had her body back but still couldn't move. She could feel someone standing behind her.
"That is what can be prevented in a sense."
"How can one prevent such natural disasters from occurring?"
"That is just representing what will come to be if certain actions are not taken. But believe me. The events you saw would be a god send compared to what is in stored for humans. It will be almost as difficult to stop as these disasters, yet it is completely possible."
"Where am I," Rei was flooded with questions she wanted to ask but couldn't come up with what she wanted to say. Simply talking to this familiar voice she felt a sense of relief but she was still mystified.
"You are sitting in unit 01's entry plug. And time is standing still in this place of existence compared to that world. We are simply in your mind Rei. Unit 01 allows your mind to free itself."
Now Rei knew what she wanted to ask. "Who are you?"
"That is not important. The question is who are you?"
"I am Rei Ayanami."
"That is your given name. But who are you. How can you define your self? What is your purpose?"
"I do not understand."
"Everyone has a purpose whether it be small or phenomenal."
"Which do I fall under?"
"You are a key factor in the fate of many lives. But one life in particular. Shinji is greatly affected by you, as you know. You're going to have to make a choice Rei. Once everything seems like it's lost and every sense you have left tells you to give up. You must remember that he needs you to fulfill his destiny. Do not every give up Rei, this is my only chance to warn you of how dire the consequences would be if you lost hope."
"Tell me what that means?"
"I'm sorry Rei. Our time is up. I'm glad to have met you at least once...Never give up Rei. We need you."
++
"Rei what kind of noise is it?" Ritsuko asked casually.
Rei felt as if she had just woken up. "Noise?" it took a second to remember what doctor Akagi was asking her about, "the noise has stopped. But I believe I have had a hallucination."
"What kind of hallucination Rei?"
Rei not wanting to reveal anything, she said plainly, "I do not remember."
"That's enough for today Rei. We have all the information we need."
++
"Well that was over with pretty quick, right guys? I'm glad too. Now we can relax a bit." Misato said cheerily from behind the wheel of her speeding car. Looking in the rear-view-mirror she could see that Rei was holding on to Shinji's arm but starting blankly at the seat in front of her. "What's bugging you Rei?"
"I am unsure of what I have experienced in unit 01."
Shinji looked over at her placed his free arm on her shoulder; "you can talk to us about it if you want to Rei."
Rei nodded. Its time to get out of NERV and start what she's only heard about. A normal life was waiting for her. Once all the angels were defeated it would be over. She could now look forward to the end, but still had a sinking feeling in the back of her mind of what her vision said.
+++
"Ha! your back already. I thought it was gonna take long. Kaji hasn't even called me yet... why's everyone look so grim? I'm the one that should be upset. I bet you didn't even bring back anything to eat like you said you would."
"Sorry Asuka I forgot to get something. I'll just order something right now. It'll all give us time to listen to what Rei has to say."
"What's she got to tell us that we don't already know?"
"I have knowledge of NERV from before Shinji and you arrived, as well as information that is not accessible to that of captain Misato."
"Sounds important, Asuka," Shinji said as he clutched one of the heat blankets closer to himself.
Rei went in to the kitchen to sit and wait for everyone.
"Whatever third child, you just think it's important cause it's Rei's information," she pushed him out of her way as she went into the kitchen.
Misato laughed and rustled Shinji's hair. "Come one Shinji, foods on its way. We gotta get her talking before it gets here."
++
It was dead silent. Everyone sat staring at Rei, even Shinji. But he did it because he knew that she was going through a lot just sitting here waiting for people to hear her talk. Not knowing what else to do he took her hand in his under the table and gave it a little squeeze. When she looked at him he nodded and she responded the same.
"Where shall I start?"
"Lets start with the info on Ritsuko and why we have to be cautious around her too."
"I believe that she has a resentment towards me."
"What's she got against you wonder girl?" Asuka said sarcastically.
"That is not the only reason she will not be easy to sway. She has a relationship with the commander. She would most likely chose to side with him as she has been doing throughout her career at NERV."
"Eww gross. Her and the commander? I've heard enough of this." Asuka then got up and left for her room.
Ritsuko sat there looking like she had just walked in on the commander and Ritsuko. Now she really didn't know what to do.
Now it was Shinji's turn to ask a question. "Why do you think that doctor Akagi doesn't like you?" This caught Misato's attention again. Perhaps knowing could somehow help he situation.
"She wanted more...attention from the commander. He was elsewhere when she needed him."
"With you Rei?"
Rei was reluctant to answer the question. She didn't like talking about her and the commander. How they were before, when he was like a father to her.
"...that is correct."
Misato looked like she had a plan. "I can still talk to her. Gendo has obviously changed in this past month dramatically. I'm sure Ritsuko noticed. Maybe I can use that to gain some ground...I need to think some more about this."
Misato knew that once Gendo changed, Rei was pushed away. =Maybe the same thing would happen to Ritsuko, but she wasn't treated badly like Rei was. Poor girl's been through hell cause of him. How many times do I have to remind myself of that? Anyways... I need a beer.=
Misato's cell phone rang, "Damn, this can't be good. Two calls from NERV in one day." She answered and low and behold it was Gendo, ready with another command for her.
The conversation was straight to the point. She only had enough time to say 'yes sir' as he hung up.
Misato had a sad look on her face. "Toji Hikari and Kensuke are on their way over here. Their coming to see how you two are doing."
"How you know they're coming right now Misato?"
"NERV has an eye on Toji. I have some news they want me to break to him."
Right on cue the doorbell rang. Asuka ran to the door hoping it was Kaji come to keep his promise to her. "oh...yes?"
"umm are Rei and Shinji here?"
"Who's asking?"
"I'm Hikari, this is Toji and Kensuke. We came to see how they're doing."
"Wonder girl and that baka are fine. Come on in and see for yourself."
Before they came in Hikari wanted to know this girls name. "I'm sorry I didn't get your name."
"my name's Asuka Langley Soryu. The pleasure is yours of course. Now come on in will you."
"Boy it sure is nice to meet you." Kensuke said sarcastically.
"Watch who your talking to." Asuka said as she grabbed him by his shirt collar.
Hikari laughed and walked in motioning for Toji to do the same.
Asuka released her hold on Kensuke and walked into the living room. The crowd followed her. Misato came in and said hello to everyone. "Rei and Shinji will be out in a sec. There talking about something or other."
"oh umm, maybe we should come back later then. We don't want to interrupt anything." A nervous Hikari said.
"Oh don't be silly, they'll be glad you came to see them." Misato said.
"Umm...hi everyone," Shinji said. He still had a blanket around him and Rei was standing behind him looking like a scared child hiding behind something.
"Isn't it a little hot for a blanket Shinji-man?"
"Something happened during a synch test today. Long story."
Hikari noticed that Rei had a large bruise on her face. She didn't want to draw attention to it but Kensuke went ahead and pointed it out anyway. "Hey Rei what happened to you? I didn't know that you were hurt too."
"I was injured during the last angel battle," but before people could even accept this as an excuse Asuka went and gave her info on the case.
"You know what Rei, I saw you when the battle was over and you were perfectly fine. So it had to of happened after we got back on land. What are you hiding?"
Everyone was staring at Rei. She hated when many people paid attention to her. "I think I shall take a shower now. Excuse me."
"Ah fine then. Don't tell us." Asuka sat down and the couch by Hikari as Misato came up to Shinji. "Hey Shinji, what really happened to her. I never even thought to ask about it."
"I really don't wanna talk about it."
"Cause you probably did it to her didn't you." Asuka harshly said.
"Asuka! You know Shinji would never do that. Especially to Rei of all people." Misato wanted to defend Shinji cause she knew that he would just take it and let it build up inside.
"Well then why won't he tell us if he knows?"
"My...father did that. He was angry with Rei. He's the one that beat her. There's your answer. Happy now?" he then walked to his room and shut the door behind him. No one said anything. They weren't expecting that to have happened. But it did make a lot of sense. Who else could have done it?
Asuka knew that she went a bit too far that time. She of course didn't want to admit it, so she just got up and went to her room.
"maybe we should talk to them," Hikari said. "I know I should talk to Shinji first. He's the reason I came really. I have something I need to tell him."
Hikari walked down the hall and read the sigh on the door. Rei and Shinji's lovely suite. A smile crossed her lips as she pushed open the door. "Shinji? I need to talk to you. It's important."
"What about?"
"Toji said that after you heard what happened to my sisters you...hurt yourself. I know that helped push you to do it. I...just wanted to say...I'm sorry Shinji. I don't want you to think that it's your fault."
"Then whose fault is it?"
"People don't always have to take the blame for mistakes Shinji. Sometimes things just happen. A lot rides on you, but not everything. Maybe you should take some time to yourself and sort out what's bugging you. That's what I did, and now I can face my problems. "
Shinji whispered very lowly so Hikari couldn't hear, "words of encouragement."
"What you say?"
"Nothing...thanks Hikari. I did something I regret now. I'm gonna take some time to myself. You're the second person to say I should do so."
Rei was finished with her shower by then and stood beside Hikari looking at Shinji. "Never give up Shinji. We need you." Hikari's words made Rei eyes widen. She remembered those being the last words that she had heard in unit 01. Hikari turned and looked at Rei. "You either Rei. Don't let things get you down." she put her hand on her shoulder then walked back to the living room.
"Hikari's words have reminded me of past memories."
"Memories of what Rei?"
"Of what happened in Unit 01. And of...dreams I have had. I have been having more memories fill my thoughts recently. The short while I was in the shower I came to a disturbing realization of myself. "
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong Rei?"
"I never remember being a child except for one memory. But I know that it could not be a real memory. I have always had dreams of it but now that I think of it more...I do not believe it is just a mere dream."
Shinji sat Rei down on the bed because now she was looking like she was about to faint.
"Inside unit 01 a voiced asked me who I was. I said that I was Rei Ayanami, but now I do not think that I am."
"What are you talking about Rei? Who do you think you are?"
"I remember dieing Shinji. I remember being choked to death."
"You know that cant be true Rei. You're still here talking to me. You couldn't have been killed."
"I am the second Rei. I was cloned after I was killed. The commander saw fit to bring me back."
"who...why...who do you think killed you?"
"I can not recognize her. But I do remember hearing a gunshot."
"It can't be true Rei, that couldn't have happened. You...are you really a clone?"
"I believe so Shinji. My experience in unit 01 today has brought about me questioning myself. I do not even think that I am fully human anymore. I do not know how to grasp these perplexed feelings."
"We need time to think. I need to think about everything. And I don't know how long that'll take. I need to go somewhere. Somewhere I haven't been for a long time." Shinji then got a backpack and stuffed some clothes into it.
"Shinji...please don't. I..." Rei couldn't say anymore because her eyes were starting to tear up.
"I'm sorry Rei, this is important. Something in unit 01 made me question myself too. I need to find the answer for myself." Shinji remembered one thing in particular that voice said. How can you help others up from a fall, if you yourself are not standing strong?
Rei didn't expect Shinji to leave. That was the last thing that she would ever think of. "Don't leave Shinji. I do not want you to leave me. I'm sorry for telling you."
Seeing tears roll down Rei's cheeks Shinji knew that she was still a human being after all. No matter what she thought. "It's nothing you said Rei. It just something I've been putting off for years. I think its time I gave someone a visit. It always helped me stay strong."
"Please Shinji. Don't, I could not bare to never see you again."
"What? Rei I'm coming back, that you can count on. I need to sort things out, that's all. I swear I'll be back Rei."
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know. But I'm leaving now." Shinji picked up his bag and turned to take a last look at Rei before he left. She was still broken up about it. Somehow he thought that she did not believe that he would be coming back. Shinji walked over to Rei and gave her an immense embrace. He pulled back and looked in her eyes. "I'm coming back Rei. I swear," Rei then leaned in and gently brush her lips against Shinji's.
"I shall wait for you then Shinji."
+++
Hikari was now in Asuka's room. Toji and Kensuke were still sitting on the couch talking amongst themselves because Misato was in her room with the excuse of going through some papers really quick. In reality she was going over what she would tell Toji. He was the fourth child and would become a pilot as soon as unit 03 was sent from America.
She came out and saw him and Kensuke sitting there, looking bored out of their minds. "Um hey can I borrow Toji for a second. I need to talk to him really quick."
"Uhh sure," Toji responded.
"You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen Kensuke, we won't be long."
Misato lead Toji out onto the balcony. That way they wouldn't be interrupted.
"So what's up?" Toji said to fill the silence.
"You know how it is we chose pilots right? By the Marduke report. It chooses the best possible candidates for the Eva. You've been chosen as the fourth child. The pilot of unit 03."
"What if I refuse? What if I don't want to be a pilot?"
"We can always get someone else but there's a chance it could be one of your friends or someone you know. And I was told to tell you that we could get your sister the best treatment available. NERV will pay for everything. Unit 03 isn't even in the same continent as us. It'll be a while before it gets here."
Toji stared out in the distance. He knew that that would be his reason why he would pilot. He didn't want to take a chance in passing up such a good opportunity for his sister. "I'll do it for my sister."
"So how are you going to tell everyone?"
" I don't think I will. Not until I have to at least. When does unit 03 get here?"
"I'm not sure. Our estimated time is about a month. So you have a month to get things in order. You should talk to Shinji, Rei or Asuka about what its like, if you wanna know."
"From knowing those three I know what it's like... I'll do anything for my sister." Toji opened the sliding door and went back in the house. Misato took a moment to think on how she probably just ruined that boy's life just now. She hated NERV so much.
+++++On a secured line+++++
"Commander, its Ritsuko. I have some information on Rei."
"What is it?"
"Her brain waves indicate increased activities in parts that we have purposely made dormant."
"Which parts?"
"The parts that affect long term memories."
"Come up with a way to fix it. If not then we will have to have her replaced. I want your solution to the problem soon." -------- +++++
A/N: so comes the end of another chapter. Please take some time to review now, I know if you read all this then you can spare some review time. Please?