The Seventh Element
Chapter 9
What a Coincidence!
"I guess after we jipped ya on the retirement pay, I should have expected that." Joey groaned. Tea rolled her eyes and flipped on the coffee pot.
"Yeah, plus I've had a bad day and needed to see someone in pain. So what are you here for?" She asked. Joey shrugged.
"Remember how you told me when your joined the UFF that you were gonna save the world someday? Here's your chance." Joey winced as he stood up. "Ex-Major Tea Taylor Gardner, you have been ordered by the President himself to rejoin the UFF and assist us in a mission of the utmost importance. You are to travel to Duelist Kingdom, retrieve the Millennium Items, and bring them back here within 24 hours, or the world as we know it shall be destroyed."
"Really, I get to save the world?" Tea muttered, waiting for her coffee. "Why me, I'm retired."
"3 reasons." Joey said, pulling a rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket. "As a member of the UFF's Crisis Negotiations Unit, you have experience handling and resolving all conflicts, crises and enemy agents you may, and probably will encounter on this mission." Joey unrolled the paper, and it unfurled to the ground to pile at his feet. "2." Joey tapped a single medal hanging above Tea's bed. "Of all the members of the CNU, you're the most highly decorated. And 3. Of all the members on the CNU…you're the only one not dead." Tea snorted and shook her head.
"Fine, I'll do it, whatever. When do I leave?" Joey shrugged.
"Sadly, you don't. We have no means of transportation without raising suspicion, and your orders are to do this with discretion. We have no way of getting you to Duelist Kingdom." Joey spied the letter in her mailbox. "Have you checked your mail?" He asked.
"No, my last 3 letters were all shit." Tea snapped. "I don't need anymore bad news."
"You sure? Who knows, it might be good news." Joey walked past her and opened the letter. "Well isn't this lucky, you've won 2 tickets to Duelist Kingdom!" Tea cursed and punched the wall. "I guess we do have a way of getting you there after all. You depart tomorrow morning. Here are your tickets." Joey held them out to Tea, who snatched them away and tossed them on a table.
"You son of a bitch, you rigged the contest." Tea accused. Joey smiled and held up his hands.
"Needed to be discreet. I will be accompanying you, posing as your husband." Tea froze and looked up at Joey in disbelief. It wasn't that she didn't like Joey. It was just that….okay, she didn't like Joey.
"No way." Tea said simply. Joey frowned.
"Why not?"
- - - - - - - - - -
"She lives here somewhere…" A hooded man muttered. He found the door with Tea's apartment sticker on it. "Here!" The man reached up and ripped of the sticker.
- - - - - - - - - -
"When you were in the UFF, I figured we had something going on, like you had a thing for me?" Joey insisted.
"Joey, I never…" Tea was cut off by the doorbell. She rolled her eyes and marched over to peer through the peephole. She was met by a shock of tri-colored hair. Tea gasped.
"Who is it?" Joey asked. Tea spun around.
"It's…my husband!" She said. Joey did a double take.
"You remarried?"
"Yes…no! No, but we love each other and I think he's gonna ask me soon, but after Tristan he just hates other men. You've gotta get outta here!" Tea urged.
"Where, there's only 1 door!" Joey yelled. Tea though and ran to the fridge. He pulled the door open and unlocked all the shelves, pushing them to the floor. Joey looked over her shoulder.
"Here you go!" Tea said, shoving Joey inside. She pushed the general into the fridge and picked up the contract to shove it in with him.
"Tea!" Joey screamed. "I'm not going to fit in here!"
"Sure you will." Tea assured him, closing the door. She hit a button, and the fridge lowered into the floor to reveal a shower on top of it. Joey taken care of, Tea composed herself and pulled the door open. Yami smiled and waved.
"Hallo." He said.
"Hey, how you doing?" Tea asked, looking him over. The man was wearing a pair of leather pants and a black T-shirt with a jacket over top. Yami shrugged.
"Good. Malik send me here." He replied. Tea pursed her lip.
"You speak English now?" She asked. Yami nodded.
"Not much, but learning!" He explained. Then Malik slipped in front of him and pointed a gun in Tea's face. Tea jumped back and held up her hands.
"What is it with men and guns today?" She muttered. Malik pushed her inside the room, and Yami closed the door behind them.
"I'm very sorry to do this Ms. Garter."
"Gardner."
"Whatever, but I heard about your luck on the radio, and I need your tickets to Duelist Kingdom." Malik said. Tea looked down at the gun.
"Is this how priests always take vacation?" She asked.
"This is no vacation Ms. Gardner, we are on a mission of utmost importance." Malik replied.
"Really, what mission?" Malik sighed.
"We are to save the world." Tea chuckled.
"Really? Seems like a lot of people have been doing that lately." She said. A buzzer rang next to the bed, and Tea gasped. "Oh shit." She flung open her door and peered down the hall. Sirens were blaring, and armed guards were filing down the hall.
"Attention, this building is now under police control." The sirens shouted. "This is not a drill. Place your hands firmly on the doorframe and await police instructions. All visitors without valid ID will be detained." Tea cursed.
"You two have to hide." She snapped. "They find him here with ID, they'll arrest him." Tea looked around and grabbed Malik by the shoulders, pressing a button to pull her bed from the wall.
"What are you doing?" Malik demanded.
"Saving your ass." Tea said, laying him on the bed. "Watch your head." She said, pressing the Retract button. Malik clenched his eyes shut as the bed retracted into the wall, leaving him little room. Tea looked around and pushed Yami into the shower.
"What you doing?" Yami demanded.
"Duck." Tea said, hitting a button. The shower rose into the ceiling, revealing the fridge again.
"Is anyone in there?" A guard shouted. Tea ran to the door and put her hands into position. "Ma'am, you have no identification sticker on the doorframe, please explain."
"Uh…not sure what happened to it." Tea said.
"Ma'am, place your thumb on the glowing panel under the door controls. We will scan your fingerprint to identify you." Tea nodded and reached down to the controls.
"Hold it!" A guard shouted. "We found her, come on." The guard in front of Tea's door nodded and unplugged his scanner from her door.
"Never mind ma'am, thank your for your cooperation." He said. The guards jogged down the hall to a door where an ID sticker had been sloppily pasted.
"Attention, Gardner Tea, you are going to be apprehended. Come out peacefully and immediately." The guards ordered. 'Tea' growled and hit the speaker button on her controls.
"Screw you cop!" She yelled. The guards nodded and kicked down the door, subduing the woman. The head guard picked up his radio.
"We got her. Thanks for the tip man."
- - - - - - - - - -
"Don't mention it." Drake replied, snapping his phone shut. He looked up at Bakura who was lounging at his desk, smoking. "The girl was arrested for speeding and avoiding police controls. I just have to cook a fake ID with her name, grab a fake ticket, and I'll be at Duelist Kingdom tomorrow afternoon." Bakura removed the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled.
"Come back with the Items, or don't come back at all." He snapped. Drake nodded and rushed from the room. Bakura looked down at the mini-elephant that was sleeping on his desk. He slapped the desk, and the creature sleepily blinked its single eye open to gaze up at him. With a snarl, Bakura thrust his cigarette into the creature's eye. Bakura drove it deeper, a cruel smile crossing his face as the creature's groans of pain grew lower and died out. That done, Bakura sat down in his chair and sighed. Killing something always made him feel better.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Let's move her out." The guard snapped, dragging 'Tea' over his shoulder. His men hurried down to the docks, and cried out as a wave of gunfire shot them dead. Darek stepped forward and sneered down at them before turning back to the Mangalores.
"I will not allow Bakura to get away with his crimes." Darek rasped. "I shall go to Duelist Kingdom and retrieve the true Items. If Bakura wants them, he will pay for them. With blood, as we did." The Mangalores nodded and cheered.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tea rubbed her neck and hit the button to call down the shower.
"Cold…." Yami chattered. Tea gasped as she noticed the shower was running.
"Oh shit, the autowasher!" She growled, reaching in to turn off the shower. Yami wrapped his armed around himself.
"Autowasher?" Yami chattered. Tea nodded and grabbed a towel and hit the button to send the shower back up.
"Yeah, if the shower comes down and goes back up, it cleans itself." Tea explained, helping Yami dry off. "You gonna be okay?"
"I be fine…." Yami whispered. "Cold." Tea nodded.
"Kinda funny." She said, smiling. "In the span of one day, you've held me at gun point, and end up in my arms. Talk about a hell of a day." Yami nodded and smiled.
"Hell of a day." He agreed. A low moan caught Tea's attention.
"What was that?" She asked. Yami looked at the spot on the wall where the bed retracted.
"Malik." He said. Tea hit the Extend button, and the bed popped out, Malik wrapped up. Tea ripped the plastic open, and Malik sat up, gasping for air. Yami chuckled.
"You got autowashed." He said, pulling off his jacket. Tea turned to him and blushed. Whoever he was, he had a nice set of abs. Tea shook her head clear and pushed past Yami as he wrung his jacket out.
"You want some coffee Malik?" Tea asked, pulling the pot off the burner. Malik nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He finally noticed the Duelist Kingdom tickets on the table. Malik snuck a look at Tea to make sure her back was turned, then grabbed the tickets and tucked them into his pocket.
"I supposed being a priest you drink a lot of coffee huh?" Tea joked. Malik slipped past Yami and made a fist. With a cry, he wrapped both his hands into a club and slammed it into Tea's neck. Tea pitched forward into the window frame and collapsed to the ground. Malik grabbed Yami by the shoulder and ran from the room.
"You hurt her, what you doing?" Yami shouted as they ran down the hall.
"I know, I'm sorry, I had no choice!" Malik protested.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tea slowly climbed to her feet and growled. She stumbled to the table and noticed her tickets were missing. She cursed and pulled the fridge door open.
"Hey Joey…" She started. She stopped when she saw a fine layer of frost covering him. "Huh. I forgot about the autofreeze." Tea grabbed a pen off the shelf and reached down to scribble a message on Joey's roll of paper. "I'll take the mission Wheeler." She said, writing it down. She grabbed her jacket and wallet and headed for the door. Tea stopped, thought, then hit the DEFREEZE command.
"You can thank me later!" Tea called, walking down the hall.
Guess what ladies and gents, next chapter is the debut of….Maxie Rhod, aka Maximillion Pegasus! Those who have seen the Fifth Element will agree he's perfect for the part. Those that haven't…well, hopefully Maxie won't do permanent damage your sanity.