(A/N: okai soooo how do yall like my stories yall! are they okai? I mean dude come on! Support here! Desperate here... oh well on with chapter 10! )

10. You are back but am I here?

Shigure walked the carpet of being the man of honor... or whatever you call the guy... He stood right beside Yuki, Kyo, and then Hatsuharu. " I am terribly feeling sorry for you... I'm scared for you..." Yuki whispered in Shigure's ear. Shigure looked at Yuki and he noticed that Shigure didn't have a hint of emotion in his eyes... not even any color. Yuki looked worried. Shigure looked across himself to see who the maids of honor were. Across from him was Tohru even if she wasn't a member, Kagura, Rin, Uo, and Hanajima.

" Why is Uo and Hanajima maids of honor?" Shigure asked himself. Before he knew it... He saw the one man closer than he wanted and particularly wearing clothes that he didn't want. Hatori shook all the guy's hands... but gave Shigure a hug. Shigure fought back his tears, he didn't hug back, and didn't even smile or frown or whatnot. Hatori then waited on the platform until his "beloved" came from behind the marble doors.

The sound of the doors creaked open as a beautifully dressed Ayame came out... he's wearing a wedding dress (( you really should know...)) with beautiful pearls as a necklace, his bouquet matched his golden eyes with golden various flowers, his shining silver hair was put to the side, and his veil shadowed over his face and back. He smiled as everyone was in awe except of course, Yuki, Kyo, and most of all Shigure. " I don't care anymore... just a few more deep deep cuts... and I'll be relieved..." Shigure thought. Ayame smiled to everyone but once he leveled up with Shigure, he frowned... a guilty frown...

The ceremony began and the priest person thingy said all the crap... ((not all))

" Do you accept, Hatori, as Ayame to be your... er, husband?"

" I do"

" And do you, Ayame, accept Hatori being your wedded husband?"

Ayame looked around and then at Shigure... I wanna be greedy and get what I want... I am soo sorry... you can wait 2 years more... no? " I do..."

" You may kiss your... groom?"

Hatori shared a kiss with Ayame that got everyone awing. Shigure just walked out of there but before he could go any farther... A little hand pulled him towards the big family. " Come on Shii-Shii... you gotta be in this picture!" A grown but small Rin said. Shigure nodded. In the picture Shigure didn't smiled... not even twitched. Once the picture flashed... Shigure seemed to have disappeared.

Shigure quickly walked away from the picture place... he more over ran. He didn't want to be surrounded by people who are happy for someone else other than him. " He really is just as dirty as I am... he turned his back on me... as before (( making this part up now, okai?)) I couldn't save him for what his eye suffered... I'm sorry... I really am..." Shigure said as he sat on the ground hugging himself.

It could have been a couple of hours later when someone came. They found him just sitting there staring off to nothing. It was Hatori who found him. " Shigure... what has gone wrong? What is the matter?" Hatori asked. " You won't understand..."

" If you tell me I will, maybe not fully but at least you would tell me..."

" No it would mean nothing.."

" Shigure I am not about to fight with you... if you don't I'll have to force a checkup..."

" I don't care... I won't tell you..."

" Please! Just tell me! You are my closest friend!"

" No... please... just leave me alone..."

" Please just tell me... I wanna know what is wrong with you... please!" Hatori felt he was about to cry..., " I just want to know..."

Shigure walked up to Hatori... and touched his eye... " I'll just tell you that you are just as dirty as I am..." Shigure said as he kissed Hatori's blind eye and walked away.

2...years... later...

Hatori woke up one morning. He looked around nervously. " Where am I?" Hatori asked. Just then a figure was getting up from the blankets. " Shii-san... what are we doin..." Hatori was shocked. " Ayame? What..." Hatori was definitely shocked. " Oh dear, my love, you have awaken!" Ayame smiled. Hatori was still shocked. " Haa-saan, why do you look so... oh.." Ayame just remembered. " You are awake now... from that pill..." Ayame softly whispered. Hatori now regained consciousness. " You gave me a pill?" Hatori asked shaking Ayame furiously. " yes it was supposed to last for 24 hours... a day technically, and something went wrong and it lasted for like... 4 years..." Ayame explained.

" FOUR YEARS! WHO KNOWS WHAT SHIGURE COULD HAVE DONE! WHAT HAS GONE WRONG?" Hatori panicked. " Well we are married..." Ayame said.

Hatori felt frozen. He didn't move an inch. Married rang in his head. " Married... Does Shigure know?" Hatori asked. " Yea... he was our best man..." Ayame sad as he remembered the emotionless eyes he saw. " Is he still alive?" Ayame wondered. " I need to see him right away..." Hatori said. Ayame panicked. " NO! I mean... are you gonna be walking out on our marriage?" Ayame asked.

Hatori looked at Ayame coldly.

"Yes"

Ayame looked down sadly. He cried... it's been two years, and he finally cries. " Oh Hatori I am sorry for being so greedy... If you do see Shii-san... tell him I am sorry for all I have done, tell him I will never face him again... I'll die inside just for him I am so sorry..." Ayame cried out.

Hatori nodded as he left the sobbing Ayame.

a 24 year old Yuki answered the door to their estate. Yuki of course looked shocked. " Ha... Hatori-san! What are you doing here!" Yuki asked as he hugged the older guy. " It's been two years we've seen each other!" Yuki smiled faintly. " Where's Shigure?" Hatori asked. " The pill wore out didn't it? Then maybe you can save him..." Yuki said as he led Hatori to a room.

Hatori walked in and he didn't like what he saw. He saw medical tools everywhere on his body. " He's... he's dying?" Hatori asked worried. " Yea right after your marriage he said things will be over soon... apparently we found out he was cutting himself deeply..." Yuki explained. Just then Kyou walked in. " HaTORi! You can heal Shigure! He's dying!" Kyou shouted with worry. Hatori frowned. " I... I don't know how to cure someone dying inside..." Hatori said. Yuki looked at Shigure helplessly. " Please you have to save him... everything isn't the same anymore... ever since Tohru moved out... with her fiancee... you have to help him... we beg you..." Yuki said with unshed tears in his eyes.

" I'll try the best I can..."

Hatori walked in, slowly approaching Shii's bedside. " Shii... Shii-san? My dearest love... please forgive me of my idiotic acts... I didn't realize I was drugged... I had no idea Ayame kidnaped me and wanted me all to himself... I really want to apologize... I am deeply sorry and I want to make up for that... I want to kiss you but... I feel if I do... it would be a lie to you... and I want you to believe it... I really want to say I love you but you'll think that I am lying about that too... I feel as if I should be the one on that bed... dying inside... just for you... and Ayame is sorry to... he said he'll die inside for you and you can throw him the harshest things ever... he just wants you to forgive him..." Hatori said tears streaming down slowly on his face.

" I want you to know that I really do love you and I want to prove it without you thinking my actions are lies... I need you to accept how I truly feel... I didn't lie to you before... I never did.. I truly do love you... I love you more than I love anyone in this family... I love you more than as much as I love this family put together... Please... what I am about to do... I hope you will believe..." Hatori said as he bent down close to Shigure's lips. " I love you more than myself and if you die... I'll die with you... cause I can never live without you... I'll crumble..." Hatori said as he closed the distance between each other.

" He... won't kiss back... just... as... I didn't... expect... I really am sorry... what can I do to save you from both a misery you and I will have...if you don't get better anytime soon." Hatori thought. Hatori pulled back... only to notice that Shigure's eyes were open. " Shigure... did you listen... to any word... I... said? Will you even... respond... to me?" Hatori asked choking on his words. Shigure looked at Hatori. " Oh my... it's him... the pill wore off before I die... this is... a miracle... can I talk... I need to talk... I will...

" Ha...Hator...i..."

" Shi... Shigure... Shigure!"

" y..yes I did here every word you said... and I believe it all... and... I want to say I love you too... I love you more than anything.. I love you more than my dear life... I don't know why I couldn't hold on... but you with another person... pains me..." Shigure said as a fit of coughs burst out. Hatori handed him a water right by his bed and put it down the tube for his drinking. " Thank you Hatori... I wanna say I am sorry I couldn't save you... when we were younger... I am sorry... I... could have helped... but I stood back like the scared little boy I was... I couldn't save you from the horrible spell... that Akito cast on you..." Shigure cried, " I only express my emotions to you... because once you left... they all sealed up... until you came back... and look.. They opened... it's it seems that my fate is to dying..."

Hatori shed tears no one should see. He lifted up Shigure's hand and kissed it. " I'm sorry for turning my back on you.. Whether it was a pill or not... I don't care... I'd kill Ayame if I want to.. But I won't... right now I wanna be with you..." Hatori said as he kissed Shigure lightly on the lips. " Ha.. Hatori! My... my... vital signs... it's... it's dying... oh my god..." Shigure cries the most wanting tears he wanted ever since he was putting himself in danger. " I don't want to die Hatori.. I don't want to... to... die!" Shigure said in between sobs. " Sh.. Sh.. Slow down Shii-Shii..." Hatori whispered in Shigure's ears. " Shii... Shii... But Rin called me that... at the..."

" Yes.. I told her to call you by that name... I know I must have... if I remembered... then... the fading was in process..." Hatori said. Shigure slowly sat up... but that made the signs go lower. " Shigure you must..." He was silenced off with Shigure's last final real kiss. " Don't forget about me... I want you to live.. Only to tell your future kids... that.. You fell in love with this one man... that would... risk...anything... to... to keep from... losing...his love... even if he falls for someone else and comes... back in the end..." Shigure whispered as he hugged Hatori slightly.

" No... please Shii... don't die... I don't want you to die... I want to spend my life with you... I can't survive if you let go... please... you have to hold on..." Hatori silently cried. " Hatori... I love you no matter what happens... even if I am reborn again... into a different body... I will love you and I know I will... because this love with never die... even if it's the after-life... so I just want you to remember I love you... and that... I'd never do anything to hurt you..." Shigure breathed heavily as he pulled Hatori to kiss his eye once more. Shigure smiled. The dreadful sound was slowing down to a long buzz... the bar rises probably 3 cm. High...

" I'm.. Sorry..." was all Shigure said right when the long buzz went on... when the bars stopped rising.

Hatori sat there laying on the bed... crying his life out... his emotions...

Yuki and Kyou entered. Yuki cried at the sight and Kyou stood there... disbelieved.

" Hatori... what did he say?"

" He wants me to live on and remember him... remember him as my first love... that would risk anything just to see me love him back..." Hatori cried silently with a smile.

" Do you think I should live on and remember him always and keep him locked in my heart... till the day I die...?" Hatori asked. Yuki nodded and hugged him tight. " We won't let anyone hurt you Hatori..." Kyou said as he patted Haa-san on the back. Hatori smiled down on Shigure and gave him a kiss.

" I love you... and I realize to.. That I am just as dirty as you are..."

(A/N: yea... Shigure dies... tears... sadness... Hatori is the one who has to suffer... well there is one last chapter I have to make and it's called the funeral... it's gonna be short... not that long.. I think this is my longest chapter... I think... well until next time...)