The Seventh Element

Here is where I probably confuse a lot of people who have seen the movie. But hey, I know what I'm doing. My butchering of the plot has a point.

Sorry for the late update, but I recently started Semester 2 at my school, and dropped two courses within 2 weeks, leading to much confusion and hecticity…I think I made a word! Anyhow, I'm back now.

Chapter 14

The Battle of Duelist Kingdom

The Mangalores fired into the air, and the guests in the opera house screamed and ducked into their seats. Pegasus screamed before Tea grabbed a lock of his hair and pulled him down.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit, not good, not good." Pegasus moaned. The Mangalores started herding the guests out of the house. Tea quickly climbed up on stage and pulled the Diva to her before ducking down in the front row.

"You okay?" Tea asked. The Diva moaned and nodded. Tea looked her over. "Okay, I'm going to try and bandage you, but I'm not sure how much I can do on my own."

"Help him…" The Diva whispered.

"What?" Tea asked.

"The Divine One…the one sent to protect Mankind. The Seventh Element."

"Yami?"

"Yes…" The Diva nodded. "But appearances can be deceiving. Yami can only do so much by himself. He needs help…and love. Or he will…die."

"I'm scared, I'm really scared." Pegasus whimpered. "Some sorta weirdo aliens shooting up the place…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"They got grey skin, arrow-shaped heads, big ears, and they reek." Joey listened to Pegasus' broadcast and groaned.

"Wonderful, Mangalores." Kaiba raised an eyebrow.

"If your woman equipped to handle Mangalores?" He asked. Joey shrugged sheepishly.

"We never covered Mangalore combat techniques in her training."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm back sir! I have them." Drake said. Bakura smiled and retracted the ramp doors of his fighter.

"Good. We're gone." He said, blasting off into space.

- - - - - - - - -

The elevator doors opened, and Yami fell out of them, hitting the floor with a grunt. Yami pulled himself to the wall and groaned.

"T…Tea…" He muttered, slumping against the wall. "H…help…" His voice faded as his head fell forward.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hey, stay here!" Tea cried, as the Diva's eyes closed.

"Tired…cold…" The Diva murmured.

"Hold on, don't die yet!" Tea pleaded. "The Millennium Items, where are they?"

"What?"

"The Items, where are the Items?" Tea urged. The Diva gasped.

"The…Items…"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Good job Drake." Bakura said, flipping on the auto pilot. "Now, hand me the case." Drake nodded and held the base forward. Bakura flipped it open, smiling. His smile vanished as he reached into the case.

"Is something wrong sir?" Drake asked nervously.

"Drake…I sent you to retrieve the 7 Millennium Items." Bakura growled. He pulled a golden ring from the case and shoved it in Drake's face.

"So why is there only one?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Yes, the Items, where are they?"

"They're…in…me." The Diva panted, her body going limp.

"Can anybody hear me? Please help." Pegasus moaned into his microphone, kneeling on the floor. "I'm in the first row, please someone help me-e-e-e-e, I don't wanna die!" Pegasus looked up and gasped. "Shit, oh shit…T-Girl, you might wanna check this out."

"I'm busy." Tea muttered. She froze as a high-pitched whir came from behind her head.

"Up." The Mangalore behind her snapped, keeping his gun pressed to her head. Tea nodded.

"Right.' She replied. She spun around and snapped his wrist before reaching up and chopping the side of his neck. The Mangalore groaned and fell forward. Tea grabbed his gun and thrust it into Pegasus' hand. "Here, hold him." She ordered.

"Wha? What what what is this?" Pegasus said.

"Hold it to his head. If he moves, pull the trigger." Tea explained. She pursed her lip and stared at the Diva's corpse.

"The Items…are in me…" She muttered. "I'm really sick and tired of this innuendo shit." Tea's eyes reached the three bullet holes in the Diva's stomach, and she got an idea. Tea pulled off her shawl and rolled up the sleeve of her dress. She took a breath and reached two fingers into the hole. The Diva's leathery skin gave way, and Tea plunged her hand inside.

"T-Girl…this ain't me, I don't feel so good." Pegasus complained. Tea gasped as her fingers touched something hard. And metal. Tea grasped what she had found and pulled. Her hand emerged from the Diva's stomach, a short, golden scepter covered in blue blood in her hand.

"I don't believe it…" She muttered. "Pegasus!" Pegasus screamed and fired. Tea's head whirled around as Pegasus dropped his gun.

"Sorry T-Girl…sorry." Pegasus stammered. "Is he gonna be okay?" Tea looked up and cursed. A Mangalore had heard the shot. Tea grabbed the scepter she had pulled out and dug a point into the Diva's stomach. No time to be subtle. Tea sliced open the skin and gasped at the tiny glints of gold shining through the blue blood. Tea grabbed the gun and stood up, shooting the on-coming Mangalore in the chest. That done, Tea pulled out the remaining Items and placed them on her shawl, counting.

"Five…six." She said. "Good, 6 Items. Just like Malik said." Tea tied her shawl into a makeshift sack. "Here, make yourself useful." She said, tossing it to Pegasus.

"What? What are these?" Pegasus asked.

"Simple. You lose them, Mankind dies. Okay?" Tea asked, looting the Mangalore she had just killed. "So try and keep track of them." Tea reloaded her two pistols and headed up the opera isle.

"What?" Pegasus screamed. "T-Girl, what you doin'?" He asked. Tea turned around and smiled.

"I'm gonna kill some aliens."

- - - - - - - - -

"She's gonna kill some aliens." Kaiba growled. "This was supposed to be a discreet mission Wheeler."

"Don't worry sir." Joey reassured him. "I know my soldiers. She'll take care of things. Tea is very rational, she'll only kill if she feels she has to."

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea burst the opera house doors and opened fire on the floor below. Several Mangalores herding passengers away got caught in the crossfire, slumping to the floor. The guests tore up and ran away as two Mangalores wheeled up a mobile battle platform. Tea lowered her gun and cursed. The platform had a bubble of bullet-proof glass over it, and was armed with 3 rickets, and a string of ammo casings falling to the floor.

The Mangalores fired, and Tea dove behind a statue. She leaned around and fired again, her bullets pinging off the glass. The Mangalores called up one of the 3 missiles, and fired. Tea gasped and jumped as the statue behind her exploded. She fell off the balcony and landed in a minibar below, coughing.

"Ohmygawd ohmygawd." Pegasus muttered, leaning his head out the opera house doors. "Ladies and gentlemen, T-Girl is in trouble. T-Girl needs help." Tea clicked her pistols and threw them away, empty. The Mangalores fired again, and Tea was thrown forward as the minibar wall exploded. She crawled to the remaining section of wall and looked around.

"Kurama!" She yelled, noticing the model huddled behind a column. Kurama's head snapped up. Tea pointed to a pistol lying at his feet. "The gun!" The Mangalores fired their final missile, and the bulk of the minibar wall burst into flame. Tea pressed her back against what little cover she had left as Kurama reached down to pick up the gun. "Yeah, the gun, pass the gun!" Tea urged. Kurama nodded and flung the gun towards her. Tea grabbed it and pressed the load button. Empty. Her shoulders slumped as Kurama gave her a hopeful look.

"Thanks anyway." Tea muttered. A Mangalore burst over the minibar wall.

"You're dead!" He shouted. Tea jumped to her feet and held up her hands.

"Hold on, I'm not armed!" She pleaded. The Mangalore growled and backed up, stepping onto the far side of a fallen sheet of metal resting on a fire extinguisher. "I'm not armed, wrong guy!" Tea insisted, climbing onto what was left of the minibar. "I'm just here on vacation…I won a…contest." The Mangalore under the balcony growled.

"Fine. Get down, leave." He ordered. Pegasus leaned over the edge of the balcony and stared down at Tea. The Mangalore was just underneath him and to the left.

"T-Girl…you okay?" Pegasus hissed. Tea glanced up and pointed to the right with a finger. "Huh?" Pegasus asked. Tea jerked her head right. "What you sayin'?"

"Get down!" The Mangalore yelled. Tea nodded and hopped off the minibar. She landed on the other end of sheet of metal, and the Mangalore shoot upwards. Pegasus screamed as a leathery head burst through the floor beside him. The Mangalore roared and fired angrily. Tea dove down as his fire caught his brethren. Pegasus jumped to his feet and kicked, the Mangalore falling down the floor. Tea stripped off his weapons and grabbed a small metal cylinder.

"T-Girl, you nuts or sumthin'?" Pegasus asked. "You're gonna get me…" He trailed off as 3 Mangalores came out of a side passage. "Oh shit, T-Girl, they're comin'!" Tea pulled the handle on the cylinder, and a spiked, missile-shaped object popped out. Tea grinned. "T-Girl, help me, they're get me!" Pegasus moaned as the Mangalores stomped towards him. Tea picked up a gun.

"You got those golden items?" She asked. Pegasus nodded. "Good. Hold still."

"What?" Pegasus snapped. Tea aimed upwards and fired. Pegasus froze as bullets tore up the balcony around him. Tea stopped firing, and Pegasus screamed as the section of balcony he was on collapsed to the main floor. Tea twisted a knob on the spiked missile and threw it up to stick on the ceiling of the balcony.

"Count to ten." Tea said, pulling Pegasus under a drink cart.

"Huh, ten, what?" He asked. Tea pushed the cart forward, rolling it from under the balcony.

"Just count!"

"One, two, three, four, five…" Pegasus moaned. The Mangalores fired down on the cart, and Pegasus screamed. "Six, seven, eight…" Tea kept pushing the cart and winced. "Niiiiiii-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiine!" Pegasus wailed. Behind them, the spiked missile beeped, and exploded in a brilliant fireball, the Mangalore flying into the air. Tea slid the cart to a halt as Pegasus let out another ear-popping scream of terror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pegasus screamed Tea shook her head and climbed out from under the cart to stare at the charred and blackened Main Hall. She took a breath and sighed.

"Ten."

Okay, I think this has…maybe 5 chappies left. That in mind, who can guess what outrageous idea I have next? Heh heh heh…

Yugi, Yami and Tea

Genre: Comedy

Rating: Most definitely M (mostly because of Yami)

Summary: Yugi Muto is a nice guy who just can't seem to stand up for himself. Problem is that the whole town laughs behind his back, and Yugi is all too aware of it. But he doesn't do a thing about it, until one day he gets pushed too far: thus is born Yami Atemu, Yugi's outrageous alternate-ego! With a raging libido, a serious attitude problem and a big mouth to match, Yami is everything Yugi isn't. And unfortunately, when Yugi gets assigned to escort Tea Gardner across the country into witness protection from an old boss, he and Yami are going to have to put aside their many differences and work together: or else they're both dead. An adaptation of 'Me, Myself and Irene'.