Chapter 5

The poor horse, though majestic and well fed, would normally have an easy time carrying two riders, but it was harder when they were both wearing armor. Still, Podrick continued pushing it until they reached a point where he said, no more and he dismounted and made her dismount too sometime after noon.

From then on, they walked and let the animal stop to eat. They also kept hiding and staying still every time they heard noises, which was often since they were in a damn forest.

They needed food and water; the latter didn't worry him so much because she knew the weather and had told him that in minutes it would start raining, so as she and the horse took a short break, he went to hunt for something.

They were in the woods so there should have been plenty of animals. He found nothing. By the time he came back to her, a light rain had started falling but they started walking again.

By early morning Podrick noticed she was upset and worried about having to stop to take another, longer break. They were sitting on a wet log, side by side, and each one taking cover from the freezing air under the blankets. There was no fire since the smoke could give away their position. He wanted to take off his armor but she wouldn't think that prudent even if at the moment it only served to make noise as he shook from the cold that seemingly barely bothered her, since she surely was more used to it.

Sansa's head came out from under the blanket and she immediately felt a chill running over her neck and her entire body, "Moving will help us get warm," she said but instead of following her example, he made a noise in refusal and stayed wrapped in the blanket.

Sansa sighed impatiently and covered herself back whilst making an effort to keep track of time. After about an hour had gone by, she stood and marched to the horse, mounting it with more difficulty than usual. "Podrick, let's go." Judging by her tone, it wasn't a request.

He wanted to complain but didn't, knowing that her fear was stronger than her exhaustion; she didn't even want to eat some berries they had come across saying she couldn't stomach them, but at least she drank some water.

When he stood he saw that she was taking off the blanket and as he was about to ask what she was doing, she moved forward on the horse, wordlessly inviting him to ride with her. He had had no intention to do so, he had planned on walking beside the animal, which was why he wasn't looking forward to start moving again. Not wanting to look at a gift horse in the mouth, he got on behind her.

She meant for him to wrap them both under the two blankets, which he did; she tensed when he pushed against her back and his arms circled her waist, though he was careful not to rest them on her thighs when he took the reins while her hands kept hold of the blankets. "Think nothing of this, Ma'am." he said wanting to reassure her that she had nothing to worry with him.

It was easier said than done, she thought feeling uncomfortable because during their ride in the morning she either hadn't noticed his arms around her and close to her thighs with how frantic things had been or he was taking advantage now... though, deep down she knew he wasn't, she was just being paranoid. At least their shared warmth felt nice, even though her face and legs were freezing.

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The second day was almost the same as the previous one except they got luckier; in the morning, as they walked by some rocks, Podrick noticed a medicinal plant that Ser Davos once told him would help prevent infection so, when they sat to rest he macerated the plant with rocks to create a paste and he started taking off the metal plate on his arm, he was pleasantly surprised when he heard her asking impatiently if he needed help, which he accepted to speed things up. Soon they were able to see the wound. "It looks alright," he heard himself saying in awe.

"Yes," she replied, looking around instead than fixating on the wound, she just wanted him to put on the ointment quickly so they could start walking again. Suddenly she heard him groaning and she saw him stop.

Shit, Podrick thought as the burning began to slow down, "I didn't know it would hurt," he explained in a hiss.

Sansa studied his red face, "Should I?" though she wasn't sure why she offered.

He mumbled something in response so she took an abundant amount of the paste an unceremoniously spread it along the wound, making him recoil from the pain.

Sansa frowned, though the smell wasn't bad, it was strong, she took some more of the ointments and put a generous amount on the wound. She studied him as he groaned and tensed up but neither commented on it, once she saw that his pain had passed, she helped him wrap-up the wound and get the metallic plaque back on.

Podrick realized she got upset when he said they wouldn't be leaving yet and he set to look for some traps he had set to catch something and to his surprise he found that they had caught a few rabbits. They wouldn't light a fire so the only one who benefited from the catch was the horse that ate two of the rabbits. Protein was protein even if it wasn't what it was used to eat. The water they had collected in the previous morning was the first thing that was gone.

It was she who looked up to the sky worriedly in the early hours of the morning as they walked and predicted a rain that would freeze their bones if the temperature got any lower, which was the most likely outcome, and that's why they sought refuge in a tiny, narrow cave. She was mindful of bugs but more worried about the rock over them crashing down on them.

"...It's been like that for thousands of years. If it falls on us then we really were meant to die." Podrick replied knowing his words were no help at all.

That did nothing to calm her nerves, Sansa thought. Said nerves weren't eased either when he sat beside her, too close for her liking. But she couldn't order him to wait the rain outside and not rest while they could. The armor, which they didn't take off that night, did nothing to make her feel safe either. The only things they had taken off were the helmets.

Sansa found herself sleepily walking into that cave despite her instincts telling her not to, yet there was something calling to her; a spot of light suddenly appeared far away but grew bigger as she approached and then the darkness vanished making her close her eyes to the sunny day. From the spot where she stood, she could hear and see the ocean in the distance and that the room she was in was filled with beautiful flowers.

'You didn't think it would be so easy, did you, little dove?'

She immediately turned to the familiar voice of Cersei, her dress and long blond hair were blowing in the wind. As beautiful as ever, the sly smile gracing her lips was what gave away her intentions.

Sansa felt herself walking backwards as she studied her surroundings. A cliff behind her suddenly stopped her from putting more distance between them. The waves beneath were crashing violently against the rocks only feet below her. Cersei smiled mockingly making her way elegantly across the room, towards a seat where she crossed her legs in a dignified manner while a goblet with wine materialized in her hands.

'It's been a while since you welcomed me in your dreams... or should I say nightmares?'

Sansa looked around her again...

'You're not a killer, little dove... at least not with your own hands. You still have your moral code.' She gave her a merciless smile, 'and unlike me, the punishment you'll serve those who betrayed you will weight on your conscience... at least for a while, even if it is a just and necessary punishment. Those men have families and–'

'–and why didn't they think before acting?'

She smiled as she raised her cup, 'in the end you are not so different than me... truth is you'll do what you have to for your safety. You may think what you want to make yourself feel better, little dove, to lie to yourself. To convince yourself that your actions won't weight on you but we both know they will.'

Sansa startled awake and took on her surroundings, her heart was beating too fast in the darkness, she tried to shake off that overwhelming dream and presence but she wasn't fully able to do it.

She tried to focus on what was making her uncomfortable, the rocks that were digging in her back, Podrick's presence beside her... But nightmares had a way to haunt and unsettle people. And she didn't want to think about her conscience talking to her through Cersei.

She spent several minutes trying to calm down but it was seemingly impossible and though she knew that the next day the nightmare would seem ridiculous, at the moment it felt too real. She looked at Podrick made out his shape in the darkness, he was deep asleep lying on the floor, then she leaned over to look at the entrance of the cave to realize that it was still raining.

When Podrick woke up he was surprised to find her lying down, her knife between them, maybe as a warning. There was enough space between them, enough for her not need to completely stretch her arm to grab his... and that's how they were lying. That was something that caught his attention but he concluded that that was her making sure that he wouldn't leave her alone for even a few minutes.

The situation was improper for her but he couldn't help but fleetingly think that technically he was lying next to a Queen.

It was probably more improper to ride the horse the way they had been and he was grateful for the metallic armor between them because more than once he had felt himself reacting to her nearness, to her musky smell —though the smell of blood and sweat wasn't appealing, he could make our the smell of her underneath and he liked it—, to the way she turned her head to have a word with him, to the stray hairs that wouldn't stay inside her helmet...

And, thinking of the animal, he carefully detached himself from her and stood to look outside where he saw the horse on the ground asleep in the middle of the slowing-down rain... at least he hoped it was sleeping. He would have brought it inside the cave but there was barely any space for the two of them.

Eventually hunger made him give up and he lit a fire; she was so tired she didn't even stir. The heat soon warmed the space and he put the skinned rabbits they had with them on the fire. He left her alone to go feed the horse with the raw meat. When he came back he devoured an entire rabbit, he let her sleep for a little longer and when she woke up she ate half of one without much enthusiasm. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked. And it wasn't like a rabbit had a lot of meat...

Sansa shook her head, "it's the anxiety." she admitted. "How long has it been?"

"About four hours." Not enough time for a good rest.

"...If anything, I'm surprised I was able to sleep with you lighting a fire"

One she would have refused to let him light had she noticed, "...exhaustion, Ma'am"

"Yes, but you know you shouldn't have lit the fire."

"…Mmm…"

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"Are you sure it was Southwest?" he asked annoyed. They had been on the run for three days, yes, but slowly and on back roads. They hadn't stopped to rest for more than a few hours each night, it was time they found that town.

"Are you sure we're walking the right way?" She was sure she was as annoyed as he was.

Podrick suspected their mutual annoyance was due to hunger and the little sleep that they had had during those days. "How many rabbits do we have left?"

He only thought about eating, "Four."

Podrick looked around, "We have to let the horse rest. If you see any place that would do to stay for the night, let me know."

She stopped, "for the night?" she didn't like hearing that.

"I'm tired ma'am, so are you and the horse even more. If we're attacked, I won't be at my best to protect you." he decided to go with what would appeal the most to her.

Every time he talked about stopping to rest, Sansa hated the idea but she didn't think it was prudent to fight him on it because she saw that it was the sensible thing to do.

He studied her and he took the firsts steps to get away from her and the horse to leave it at that, it wasn't up for discussion, "We'll take two shifts, you sleep for four hours while I keep watch and vice versa."

A stunned Sansa followed Podrick after a few seconds pulling at the horse's reins; she couldn't believe his audacity, going over her decisions.

She didn't want him turning against her so she agreed, sourly and wondered if Brienne would do the same in a similar situation and she knew she would... but Podrick was Podrick and he didn't have the same skills as Brienne.

She noticed what seemed like several caves far away but she refrained from mentioning them; however, she eventually saw Podrick going towards them.

In the previous days, their rest had been hindered by worry and the cold. For now, on their third stop, she silently wished the cave wouldn't be fit for them to stay in; the last few they'd checked had been flooded. She stayed outside watching the horse while he went in to explore. When he came out he tiredly shook his head.

They kept walking for some hours when, in the distance, a shape could be seen in the fog, the closer they got the more it looked like a tower, one in bad shape but still standing. Podrick approached it while she stayed at a prudent distance. And what he found was perfect but he expected her to refuse.

"I went up and you can see a village in the distance. We're on a mountain; I think it'll take three or four hours to get there on foot."

The sun would set in less than a couple of hours. And, which village? Suddenly, waiting until morning seemed to be the best choice.

When they reached the tower, she said nothing as she walked in. She took in their surroundings; it was big enough for the horse to come in, there was an abandoned cart still loaded with old hay and the horse immediately went for it.

There were torches hanging by the landing of the spiraling staircase. She went up slowly and silently while leaning on the wall. When she reached the top she looked out but the fog didn't let her see more than a few houses and smoke coming out of the chimneys of some of them. Even further beyond among the trees, the stone walls of some castle could be seen.

When she went back down, he was bringing wood to make a fire. He asked for help and they had to make three trips since his injury was stopping him from carrying too much weight on his own. Once they finished, he put a heavy log to block the door from the inside and to increase their safety, he tried to move the cart too. She helped him though it was hard and she ended up sweating and tired.

Once the door was blocked Sansa turned to the horse, which was lying in a corner exhausted. "Do you really think it's prudent that we stay here?" she asked as she tried to look outside.

Podrick sighed tiredly, his head throbbing, "This is the safest place we've been in, it'll be dark soon and if that cloud unleashes all that water it seems to be holding, we'll be here until dawn. Yes, I think it's prudent."

He was right in that a storm seemingly worse than the one from the previous morning was coming. She nodded, once again deciding to hide her fears and doubts. She was about to ask him something when she saw him walking purposely towards her and stopping when he was facing her.

"...I'll help you take off the armor..." he explained as she recoiled defensively... guarding herself against him. For a few seconds he was taken aback by her reaction as he caught on to his words and he blushed as he kept his eyes on her, "... If you let me…" he added in a softer tone, the last thing he wanted was for her to misinterpret his intentions.

After a few seconds he bowed from the neck averting her gaze and in an obliging manner, "...I swear, Ma'am, that you have nothing to fear from me. You may rest easy." he wasn't one of her abusers... of her many abusers, but he was reminded of the scars on her arms, the unspoken consequences he suspected she suffered... He was also struck by the thought that he wasn't one of her handmaids, helping her get comfortable definitely wasn't his job.

Sansa knew Podrick was a good man, which was one of the reasons Bran had sent him. Embarrassed, she tried to brush the moment aside as she decided to focus on the armor that she hadn't taken off in three days. It was awfully heavy, it hindered her movements and it hurt where it dug in various parts of her body; she was certain there were several bruises and blisters in places she hadn't thought possible to get them.

He wouldn't look at her, his gaze remained fixed on the ground waiting for orders and for some reason that upset and made her feel guilty, Podrick wasn't her servant, not after all the help he had always given her... "Help me, then." she mumbled and she let him guide her through as he unclasped the armor plates on her arm without looking at her.

She studied his fingers moving deftly and she stole a glance at his face as he was focused on his task. She helped him along when she could and when she couldn't she just felt relieved as the weight was lifted from her. "...I really don't know how you do it." she almost whispered, intending to let go what had happened as she felt, first hand, the discomfort to which soldiers, warriors or knights usually went through.

Podrick was nervous and embarrassed but he dared a look to her eyes and he nodded, "it makes you appreciate our work more?" he asked knowing he was offering words back just to save face. And he was embarrassed twice over, first by what had happened before and now, despite himself, for the temptation that started uncoiling in him as he slowly uncovered her body... the uniform was dirty and bloodied, a little too big and unflattering for her but the insinuation of what he was doing felt tantalizing. He shouldn't be thinking these things out of respect for her. When he took the heavy coat, he threw a subtle glance at her face only to find her blushing too...

Sansa was trying to fully pay attention to their conversation, "No. Swearing off your live for another's... fighting for them and their conviction is what makes me appreciate you all." She found him looking at her in the eye as she was blushing and felt short of breath. They averted each other's eyes after a moment and she stepped back to take off the chain mail on her own, which turned out harder than she thought because of how heavy it was; all her muscles ached and she was thankful that the bloodied shirt was untucked at the back and not the front.

She let the mail chain drop unceremoniously along with the armor at her feet. While she was taking off the chain mail she saw Podrick stepping a few steps behind to start putting his armor on a heap apart from hers.

She surprised him when she reached to help him take it off. He mentally groaned and he was unable to halt his movement when her no so deft fingers grazed his shoulders and arms. But he knew she was trying to be helpful to him, "I can take if from here," he said when they finished taking off the back and torso plaques.

The last thing he needed was an accidental and inappropriate touch on his lower abdomen or thighs lest he would embarrass himself in front of her, and spook her to top it off. He hadn't had any intimacy in years, and he knew it wouldn't take much to light the fire inside him.

She nodded, grateful and blushing, she had wanted to be of help but she was quite aware that that was too much. Going along with the theme of being helpful, she went on to take the rabbits out the bags and to arrange the wood for him to light a fire once he finished.

From the corner of his eye, Podrick saw her moving oddly but he didn't ask because he knew she was hurting from the chain mail and armor.

Once the fire was lit, they cooked the skinned rabbits on it. He realized his oversight in not having looked for a water source nearby before blocking the door. That meant they had to wait for rain to fall.

A couple of times he saw her sitting on one of the steps rolling her shoulders and head and massaging her shins. "The first time I cooked a rabbit I didn't skin it..." he spoke to break the silence, "it caught fire and let's just say Ser Brienne was not pleased..." she lifted her eyes and offered him a fake smile so he decided it was better not to go on.

They ate silently and warily, barely containing their tiredness. Sansa felt more tired than hungry and after eating half a rabbit, feeding another to the horse and taking a few sips of water and leaving some for Podrick, she took the blankets.

"You should finish the rabbit, you've barely eaten in the past days and you'll need the strength."

Sansa stopped for a few seconds, "... Later." Honestly, she wasn't feeling at ease at all and she didn't think her stomach could keep the food in.

Podrick studied her for a bit and decided against insisting. When he saw that she was about to makeshift a bed with one of the blankets he stopped her and set to lay down some of the hay from the cart to make it a more comfortable place to sleep. It wasn't like Sansa to be accommodating or obliging but she knew that she owed it to him so she proceeded to make two lumps out of the blankets, one for her and one for him, this time separated by a more proper distance.

She thought it ridiculous that she couldn't stop feeling unsettled by this arrangement and when he looked at her she sat, supporting her back on the smooth and cold stone wall. Podrick did the same.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I know all this is improper but beggars can't be choosers." In fact, if he didn't need to rest so much he could go upstairs or sit on the stairs, or better yet, lay down on the cart but he was too exhausted.

"Do you hear me saying anything, Ser Podrick?" she gestured to him when she saw him about to stand up, certainly to pick up his blanket and go somewhere else.

He stopped hesitantly, "... No, Ma'am, but I also know my place even if it seems as though I've forgotten it because of our pressing circumstances."

"...You saved my life, Ser Podrick. I think the least I can do is to ignore the lack of propriety of the situation." She realized he was looking for something to say, "You being uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable and aren't you too tired to be thinking about these trivialities?"

He sighed then, "You have no idea, Ma'am."

Oh, but she did. Sansa decided to lie down with the knife he had given her nearby in case she'd need it. She shut her eyes for a second and she forgot about the world.

Podrick was still thinking about something else to say when it became evident that she had fallen asleep. And she was the one who didn't want to stop to rest, he thought ironically.

He looked at her slow and openly for a moment since he had the chance and because what they said was true —and it wasn't because she was The Queen; she really was the most beautiful woman in Westeros. Her blue eyes were striking and her mouth... why was he just realizing at this moment how appealing her full lips were? Lies, he had always seen the appeal... her copper hair, her white and seemingly soft skin, her imposing figure...

Now she's as beautiful as she can be deadly; Brienne had reminded him before he left, though he wasn't sure if she had been warning him.

From what he'd seen, the North respected her, but outside there where whispered and talk about her being less than the honorable woman she showed the world; it was said that she was ruthless when it was called for.

However, when they talked about her ruthlessness they mostly referred to her murdering King Joffrey, Lord Ramsay and Lord Baelish, to her being one of the only people who stepped up to Daenerys Targaryan thus making them enemies, and to her taking her brother's crown.

Podrick knew that not all of that was the truth and that it actually made her more popular. He himself had been privy to her council meetings and he had witnessed her moving pieces in her favor with the various lords, scheming; he could see that there was much more to her than being ruthless. She had learned a thing or two from Littlefinger; that last phrase had been uttered by Brienne with some disappointment.

Podrick meant to keep watch at first while she slept but little by little, he felt himself nodding off as his eyelids closed heavily. He battled with himself for a few minutes, finally deciding to lie down but to remain awake. He tuned to her and took a good look... The distant Queen, the friendly Queen, the intimidating Queen... the pretentious Queen? The Queen...

He was awaken by bolt of lightning outside that startled him. He tried to move but his entire body complained. He looked to the still sleeping horse and then at her. She was also deeply asleep, so deeply that all worries seemed to have eased from her face. She looked peaceful, as he had never seen her before.

After some more minutes of rest, he left his blanket behind and he took the leather flagon where they stored the water and other cracked clay jars that they found at the tower and he placed them along the stairs to collect the water that was leaking from the roof. Then, he climbed to the top of the tower to take a look around and to let the flagon be filled in minutes to promptly go back to bed.

Sansa didn't know for how long she had slept, she only knew that it had been long because the fire was reduced to ashes. She tried to move but every one of her aching muscles protested so she stayed still for a few minutes making an effort to start moving her extremities, one by one.

When she stood and took a few steps to feed the fire and stop it from dying she felt like she assumed an old lady would. Everything hurt. The warmth in the place probably came from their body heat, including the horse's.

Another stroke of lighting caught her attention and had her looking at a window way up above and from what she was able to make out, the storm would keep them in this place, seeking refuge until it stopped, and it would take quite a while before it stopped.

She went back to her blanket to sleep again and after some minutes of failing her gaze searched for Podrick and she found him deeply asleep.

His hair had fallen on his face covering half of it and she hadn't really noticed before that his beard had grown. She hadn't noticed the bags under his eyes nor his tired face either. She fleetingly though that now he really looked like a northerner, at least in how scruffy he looked.

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Podrick was sitting by the last remaining rabbit; he had just devoured half of it when he felt something behind him and he then found her sitting unceremoniously on the floor.

He had left an entire rabbit the day before for her in addition to the half from that day. They were both facing the wall with the window as they ate in silence, but he looked at her as she separated the meat from the bone with her hands as she ate slowly. The sun had risen already but it was still raining cats and dogs.

"Hungry?"

Sansa nodded, she was really feeling the hunger now, "...I'm still so tired." she whined suspecting that her comment wouldn't be welcome by a warrior like him but instead he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and nodded.

"I don't have the energy for anything, Ma'am." he stated. He had thought that maybe it was because of his wound but he had cheeked it and there wasn't any sign of infection.

Maybe the needle and thread had remained uninfected from the start even with their soiled fingers but he would bet on the medicinal plants he had put on the wounds earlier in the week and that he had applied again today after carefully cleaning it. At least that was working for now.

"On the bright side we won't be able to leave until the storm passes. On the other side," he gestured to the rabbit, "That's the only food we have left."

Sansa ate slowly and unlike before, she didn't stop until she finished the entire thing. Once again she took in her surroundings, the ground was dry and the size of the place was neither too big nor too small, which had helped to keep the place warm.

Her own state, however, was... unacceptable. She was sweaty and dirty from head to toe and wearing a bloodied uniform made out of the most uncomfortable rough fabric. "...When we first came in I was worried about bats, spiders and other critters that could come about... but I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes." she knew her words were bratty but they were true.

He yawned, "I tried to keep watch and I don't even know when I fell asleep." he looked intently at her, her beauty was natural because even with disheveled hair, dirt on her face and bags under her eyes her beauty remained. "I've never eaten bat... there's always a first time for everything."

She scrunched her face in a way that had them sharing their first real smiles in days.

After a short moment she stood and went to get the jars with water, she took two and climbed to the top, he figured she was going to clean up as best as she could just as he had done, though what he had done was to take off his clothes and let the rain wash him down.

The horse whined, probably wanting to be let out but it was better not to. Podrick gave it water and he kept busy for a while until she returned as cleaned as she could get, to then return the jars under the leak to collect more water and then she walked back to her blanket.

He remained uncomfortable for a while under the pretense of being busy with the horse but he eventually realized he couldn't stay doing that until the storm stopped. So he went to keep her company, also lying down. They didn't sleep but the idea was to rest and take advantage of their current situation.

"...We've gotten pretty far, right?" she decided to ask eventually to distract from the pain in her neck that had become unbearable some minutes ago.

"...Yes. But it's best not to lower our guard until we're completely safe." if they had used hounds to follow them, their scent would have been a dead end probably since they decided to wear the dead soldier's clothes. And their prints... well, good luck to them with all the heavy rain that had been falling.

Sansa nodded, feeling calmer from his reassurance. Not being caught the first night had given her a certain sense of security but she hadn't wanted to rely on it. It wouldn't be the first time she had been wrong about something like this.

A long silence fell upon them.

"...I'm sorry Ser Podrick, for getting you involved in all this."

He decided to be honest and let out the insolence that first crossed his mind, "With all due respect, Ma'am if anyone had to apologize it'd be your brother."

He waited for her reaction but she let nothing to show it had bothered her so he decided to reveal something he hadn't said before, "...Truthfully, in Kings Landing I was wishing for some action, so I wasn't opposed to being sent to the North, but right now I'm thinking these past few days have brought me more adventure than I was asking for."

It sure had, "I wonder what my brother saw in his dream." He certainly wasn't wrong about the green door."

The damned green door, "didn't you write asking him that, Ma'am?"

She wasn't comfortable lying there in his presence but she did nothing about it, since her exhaustion mattered more, "Of course I did, but I guess you know him; his answer was vague, he said he couldn't say much and that he couldn't play with fate."

"...Something tells me he knew what would happen."

She couldn't overlook his accusing tone, "I don't think so. I think his dream was more like a premonition. I don't know." Or at least she wanted to believe that.

"If he can see the future as he can see the past, he could have prevented this and... who knows what else."

"...He only sees parts of the past, not all of it. He only knows where to look when the occasion calls for it." She found herself defending Bran although she also doubted of the true scope of the Three Eyed Raven's powers. "...We're not safe yet." was the next thing she said as she focused on her immediate worries, trying not to wonder about the soldiers, guards, advisors, Maesters, maids, ladies in waiting or even the staff at the inn who had lost their lives.

Podrick noticed her eyes darkening and something told him why, "If it's any consolation, Lord Harry managed to escape the inn just after you did." There was something that had been bothering Podrick and it was the number of men defending her, there were only one of two dozen men with her even though the entire retinue consisted of over sixty soldiers in addition to her guard. He didn't want to mention it as not to worry her further.

"I don't want to think about it until we are safe." Until she decided how to respond to this attack, which was how she had occupied her mind since they started fleeing; she'd rather think in the retaliation instead of her fear. That's where the nightmare with Cersei had come from.

"Since there's a village ahead, I'm thinking about leaving you in a safe spot as I go and find out where we are and what they're saying about the attack." Of course, she didn't like hearing that but she nodded to then let out a low groan.

She put her hand on her neck as she sat, "I'm definitely not made for a soldier's life" she said while rolling her shoulders and head. She massaged her neck firmly but it didn't seem to ease her pain.

As he saw her sit up he did the same, "You're hurting because of the uniform you were wearing, Ma'am. You're not used to the armor and you had it on for three days; that makes the muscles sore."

She suspected that already, "Who do you think those men were? Their armor bore no sigil or protection against the cold." if she had withstood it, it was because she was used to those low temperatures and because of the blankets that Podrick got for them.

"...It's no use wondering, Ma'am," he admitted, "We better hope that your men fared better than us and that they captured at least one of your enemies alive and made him talk." But he doubted it because they hadn't been found yet by either her army or bannermen. Podrick had all his hopes set on that village. "Maybe we made a mistake by getting so far away…" he let her know.

"It was the right thing. I'm still alive and unharmed, thanks to you." She certainly doubted she could have escaped alone, "How's your arm?"

"Good. But I'll worry until a Maester looks at it." She nodded in agreement as she continued massaging her neck. Podrick blushed even before speaking, "I know it's improper of me, Ma'am, but I could help you with that," he said pointing to her neck. "It's part of a squire's bag of tricks, anyway..." Not that he was a squire anymore.

"Did Brienne let you give her massages?" she asked in a disbelieving and mocking tone, unable to fathom it.

"...No, she would have taken off my hands first." he admitted as he tried to conceal a smile; resting had certainly helped improve their mood because he caught her smiling, just a little but smiling, nonetheless.

"And what makes you think I won't?"

Podrick just laughed out loud. And Sansa found herself forgetting about the danger for the shortest of times. They held their stares as they grew serious again.

"...You see? Some food and some rest can do wonders." he said without taking his eyes off her.

She wasn't so sure, yet here she was, finding some peace amidst the danger, "You are right, Ser Podrick, it would be improper." It hurt so much, though.

Podrick nodded, still feeling uneasy at having offered and less so at her refusal.

After several minutes of silence Sansa decided to break it, "…You are a good man, Ser Podrick."

Her words had him reacting with a deep breath, wide eyes and his eyebrows rising. "You say that as though it's a bad thing." he murmured. That had definitely not sounded grateful.

"...In my experience, good and honest people tend to die more easily."

Podrick regarded her for a few seconds. It wasn't the first time he heard something along those lines; Lord Tyrion, Ser Brienne, even Ser Davos and of course, Lord Bronn were surprised that he remained alive. "Don't you worry about me, Ma'am"

She didn't, she just meant to warn him, "You just made new enemies by rescuing me, you should keep that in mind."

He did, he yawned once more, "Wouldn't be the first time." He smiled, they had had Bolton's army at their heels for weeks as they made their way to Castle Black, "Things didn't go badly then, they might not go badly now."

She shut her eyes, "I'd like to share your optimism."

He didn't know what to reply and as the silence stretched he figured she wanted to keep on resting. He took the flagon and went to refill it and when he turned back to her he found her in the same position, though still rubbing her neck. After a couple of minutes he decided to impart some wisdom, "Use your knuckles, works better than your fingertips."

"I feel like my head weights a thousand pounds," she explained, "and I don't mean to complain so much..."

Podrick nodded and after a few moments, decided to climb to the top of the tower. He stayed there for a long time, watching their surroundings and the slowing storm. At first the lighting stopped, which was what he dreaded most before continuing on, because of their metallic armor. When it was evident that the worst had passed, he called her to make sure since, out of the two, she knew the North's weather best.

A few minutes later they had descended to the base of the tower, he was leaning on the stairs and she was pacing while they pondered the pros and cons of exchanging armors just to reach the conclusion that it was better to wear what they had been wearing before.

He noticed she sighed as she looked to the chain mail, her hand still rubbing her neck, "...My armor is heavier, at least there's that, Ma'am... how's the pain?"

It was odd that the stiffness seemed to reach her jaw, now. She just envisioned that from now on their escape would be even more uncomfortable than it had been. "...it'll pass."

Podrick knew it was better not to offer his services again, if she wanted them, she'd ask.

From the way he was looking at her Sansa knew he was waiting for her cue, she breathed out, "I appreciate the intention but I wouldn't be comfortable, Ser Podrick," she admitted. "Besides, I imagine the relief will be short-lived." in addition to the impropriety of having him touching her, she figured that the minute he did, the image of…strangling and terrorizing her would spring to her mind. She didn't want to feel that anguish consuming her. It was best to keep their distance.

"It's alright, Ma'am." he said as her eyes got lost, which made him realize something, "I wasn't offering a massage," he clarified, "it's just that there are spots on your neck... and when you know them, you just have to put pressure on them to ease the tension away, and it's not a short-lived relief. It would take two seconds."

Sansa stared at him; it still involved him touching her, something she wasn't comfortable with. Another part of her argued that if it was too much she'd make him stop, "...Fine."

He noticed the hesitation in her voice but he walked toward her stopping at a prudent distance before fleetingly placing his hands on her shoulders for a second to reassure her, almost right away his hands wen to each side of her head and that's when he took stock of his dirty fingernails against her white skin feeling self-conscious.

"A Dothraki taught us this technique." he started talking to distract her and as soon as he caught her attention, in one swift and firm move, he twisted her head to the left, they both heard a pop and he released her immediately.

Since his initial touch, Sansa was trying not to tense up from the closeness or the feeling of his hands on her, she paid attention to his words and as soon as she heard the word Dothraki, her mind went to what he was doing in the company of a Dothraki just to hear a horrible pop and to feel a jolt of pain striking fast from her neck to her chest, her back, her jaw and her head; the pain lasted but an instant but it left a throbbing feeling that soon turned to relief. Sansa let out a whine from the shock of what had just happened, "What was that?!" she heard herself asking in shock.

Podrick smiled, "I know, I'm sorry, but it feels better, right?"

Sansa nodded whilst making a circular motion with her shoulders, amazed at how much the pain had receded. Not receded, no, it was gone.

"This man was one of the eighteen Dothraki who stayed in Westeros when the Unsullied left," Podrick went on, "Obviously, the small council wasn't about to let them roam free around the continent and this man became their representative."

Sansa nodded again and was surprised when Podrick gestured to let her know he would touch her again.

"I just want to check something", he lied, "...Anyway, having him there worked because a coalition was formed with the remaining Dothraki men."

He touched her again, placing his fingers on the right place and distracting her with more information, "he was a serious, responsible man," and once again he twisted her head to the right and something snapped inside her again making her jump and yell. Podrick immediately took several steps back.

Sansa thought she was a fool by not seeing that coming but she couldn't be too annoyed as she welcomed the sheer relief. She felt like the weight of the world had lifted from her shoulders; she felt light and she looked at Podrick marveling at the feeling. Podrick smiled at her. "You have to teach that to my maesters," she said in awe, to immediately wonder if those who had come with her had survived the attack.

"I will," he answered, though there was a caveat and he let her know, "but it's a dangerous technique, too much force and you could break the neck."

That was food for thought... it was unlike him to do something like that knowing it could kill her, right? But she was left wondering as Podrick soon turned his back on her and went to the horse.

On her part, Sansa remained on the spot pensive, "I should have taken fighting lessons from Brienne when the children started to be trained. Sometime later, Arya also said I should know the basics of self-defense as not to always depend on others... I didn't listen. I should have." Maybe that would have made her more confident these past few days.

"You can still get some, once you're back at Winterfell."

Sansa nodded setting that goal for herself, though she suspected that when, and if, she made it back to Winterfell that goal would vanish. Her priorities would be restored.

Podrick stood straighter and went back to where she stood, "You know a man's weakest spot, right?" he asked and he noticed her blushing as she nodded, "Unless he's wearing armor, that spot is vulnerable so go for it somehow." Then, he opened his hand to show her his palm, "aim at the tip of his nose, in a swift and strong move that he doesn't see coming," she touched her thumb to her hand and he approached unthinkingly, "No, with this part," he said pointing to the place when his hand met his wrist. "Remember, swift and strong," he suddenly swallowed as he realized he'd close the distance between them without thinking, "Same idea but a bit harder, at the Adam's apple."

Sansa resisted the urge to say that would only be useful against a single attacker and not a group.

"Sticking your thumbs in their eyes or throwing dirt at them works...biting too." she nodded as she listened intently until her eyes swept over him as if she was just realizing how close he got.

He went on, "...None of this is lethal but believe me, it'll make your attacker recoil and you'll have a window to escape or to look for a weapon, a knife or a rock..." he subtly put some space between them and he pointed to the knife he had given her, the one she always kept close, "I assume you can wield that, right?"

A memory came to her mind making her smile, "...Stick 'em with the pointy end..."

Podrick raised his eyebrows at her curious comment and she smiled more openly at seeing his reaction, seemingly forgetting the danger they were in for a few moments.

Sansa shook her head, "... Something Arya said once. And no, I don't know how to wield a knife."

Podrick waited before continuing with the lesson, "First, hold it tightly."

She copied his stance slightly spreading her legs for more stability.

He looked her in the eye, "you'll be using all your strength, not only to thrust forward but to hold on to the handle. The thing they usually don't' tell you is that when the blood starts flowing your hand can slip and you end up cutting yourself. You won't tell in the moment. But I've seen the hands of many soldiers shredded because of that." she looked at his hands and he showed her his own scars and, unwittingly, his dirty nails, which made him self-conscious and ashamed again.

Sansa nodded waiting for more instructions but they never came. Instead, she saw him turning and busy himself with something else so she silently turned back to sit on her blanket. As she did she tried to keep her mind off the times when he came near enough for her to feel like he was invading her personal space. She told herself that she hadn't been intimidated by it, he didn't overwhelm her because he was just trying to teach her, help her, protect her... and still... she was surprised to see him coming back to sit on his own blanket as they waited for the rain to stop completely.

"...I'm sorry about that meager self-defense class." he couldn't believe some hadn't already given her lessons.

"It's better than nothing."

"No one's going to hurt you, Ma'am, I promise that."

"That's the kind of promises that are impossible to keep... but I appreciate the gesture, nonetheless."

They were silent until Sansa noticed that the sound of the rain was slowing down. She leaned to look out the window and what she saw outside was agreeable enough, "I think now is a good time to leave."

Podrick stood and went to her to offer his hand to help her stand. She looked at him in surprise, "I haven't been as attentive with you as you deserve, Ma'am." During their escape, her being Queen hadn't taken precedence because of the urgency of the situation. "I haven't exactly been acting like a gentleman."

Sansa couldn't say that was exactly true, as they walked, even if he was focused on something else he had always offered his hand when they needed to go over shaky or muddy ground, or when she needed help going up or down hills. or whenever any other difficulty presented itself; even when they had been annoyed with each other.

She held on to his hands to stand up. As soon as they were at the same height, she found herself looking straight into his eyes and he was holding her stare in awe. Her heart beat sped up as the air between them changed, she saw him turning red as her own blush spread through her cheeks.

Neither moved to put distance between them as a sort of expectation grew between them. Podrick breathed in when her eyes traveled to his mouth and back to his eyes. Inevitably, his eyed strayed to her perfect mouth. His heart was filled with a temptation that he was refusing to give into but that didn't last long; all it took was a glance at her pretty blue eyes to forget about everything.

He felt himself leaning towards her but —in what he wouldn't know to call a blessing or a curse in the next days— the horse neighed loudly, startling and bringing them back to reality.

A dumbfound Sansa felt Podrick squeezing her hands before letting her go as both their blushes grew even deeper. She wordlessly mumbled as she turned to the blankest and busied herself by picking them up and folding them in her confusion and mortification from what had transpired. Ser Podrick Payne had been about to kiss her and she had felt herself leaning into him...

She knew very well what it felt to receive an unwanted kiss but she had wanted this one for her utter surprise and confusion. Uncertainty filled her right away, she was upset and restless by the feelings he awoke in her. What did she think she was doing? She no longer wanted that kiss, but in that the moment she had.

Hundreds of images from the past couple of days immediately came to mind; her, someone who would reject closeness, who feared any type of nearness had touched him on purpose, she had touched him quite a lot, she had held his hands several times, his arms too, in attempts to find peace of mind from his presence, his conversation, and now this...

When he saw her turn to pick up the blankets he was left waiting for her to say something but there was nothing. He realized she was stalling as she slowly folded the blankets and took her time to remove the hay from them. He too put distance between them, feeling reassured in the fact that he hadn't actually crossed a line, that he hadn't misread her signals; he had seen it in her eyes, how she wanted that kiss, and not just in her eyes but in the way she had leaned into him too.

Overwhelmed and in complete silence, he went through the motions of setting out to work, they both proceeded, separately, to leave the place as they had found it; they killed the small fire, they packed their things and with the help of the horse they moved the cart away from the door.

And when it was time to put the their respective armor on, they helped each other, sticking to interacting as little as possible. They avoided the other's eyes but whenever they had a chance they would study the other, noticing their blush and quite aware of their actions.

Podrick's fingers weren't as deft when he helped secure the armor as they had been before. Hers were trembling. All of her was trembling... Both felt the tension between them.

Once outside, they wordlessly decided to give the horse a break by walking and thus keeping a certain distance from each other. Podrick cleared his throat before speaking, "with this much rain, is could there be a landslide?" After all, they would have to go down several hills.

"Let's not think about it until we have to."

"Not thinking about it won't make the way easier... I want to know what to expect."

Sansa's reaction to that was to look at him doubting he only meant the road ahead, "...I honestly don't know."

Notes:

So far, this has been the longest chapter in this story but it was worth it because Sansa realized how good with his hands Podrick is. Even if she hasn't processed it yet.

Also, the joke about the bat…was bay before Covid-19.

And, once again thanks to fangfaceandrea for the translation!

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