Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's but I wish I did!

Ch.1

Life really sucks sometimes.

Meredith hung up the phone, speechless. She felt her legs grow weak as she slid down to the floor, her back against the wall. She shut her eyes, the conversation she just had replaying over and over in her mind.

We're sorry Dr. Grey, but it appears to be worse than we thought…

All the symptoms are there…Easy bruising, nose bleeds, feeling tired, Loss of appetite and weight loss…

AML…adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia

Cancer…

She opened her eyes and looked around her bedroom. The blood was rushing to her head.

"Cancer," she whispered, the word burning as it escaped her lips. She put her hand to her mouth, running to the bathroom, her stomach heaving.

When she was done, she stood up. She had to get out of there, she felt like she was suffocating. She grabbed her coat and ran downstairs.

"Hey are you ok?"

George and Izzie were sitting in the kitchen.

She nodded, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

"I'm going to go for a drive," she said.

Her friends nodded, watching her as she left.

"Poor thing," Izzie said once she was gone. "She's still so upset about Derek."

George nodded, looking at the door.

"She'll be ok," he said. "She's a tough girl."

Meredith had made it to her car. She put the key in the ignition and started it up. She was about to put the car in drive when the tears started pouring. She dropped her head to the steering wheel, sobs racking her body.

She was sick. She knew all along she had been. She was too smart not to notice the signs.

But now someone else had noticed.

Someone else had called her on it.

The reality of it all made her head spin.

"What am I going to do?" she hiccupped through the tears.

She looked up into the rearview mirror, wiping the tears and mascara away from her eyes. She composed herself, putting the car in drive. She wasn't sure where she was going. Before she knew it, the car was stopped.

She got out of the car and walked towards the small trailer. When she made it to the door, she hesitated, before softly knocking.

A few seconds passed. She knocked again.

No answer.

She turned to walk away. Suddenly, the door opened.

"Meredith?"

She turned around.

"Derek."

He stood there, a look of shock on his face.

She hadn't talked to him in days. Ever since Addison had come back to town.

And here she was, standing in his front yard.

He took a small step towards her.

"Hi," was all he managed to say.

She looked at her feet.

He took another step towards her. It was then he noticed that she had been crying.

"Are you ok?" he asked gently.

She looked up into his eyes.

It made her heart ache.

"Yea," she sighed, trying to hold back even more tears from falling. Her voice was shaky.

"Have you been crying?"

She put her hand to her face and cried.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I just…I didn't…"

He walked up to her, grabbing her in his arms and pulling her into his embrace.

She clutched his shirt, soaking it with her tears.

"I didn't know where else to go," she whispered.

He stroked her hair, trying to hold back his own tears.

"I'm so sorry Mer…"

She pulled back.

He had no idea what was going on.

No idea that she had just found out she was sick.

She wanted s desperately to tell him.

But she didn't.

Instead, she turned to walk away.

He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Please, can we talk about all of this?"

She shrugged.

"Maybe some other time."

She let go of his hand and walked back to her car.

When she was sitting down she let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

She started the car up again and pulled off, leaving him behind.

She thought about her life as she made the drive home.

Her mom was in the nursing home, deteriorating with each passing day.

The man she loved more than anything else in the world was with another woman.

She just found out she had cancer…

"Yea," she muttered.

"Life really sucks sometimes."