Ch.5

"That was…incredible."

Meredith sat back in her chair, sighing, looking at the empty plate before her.

"Who would have known you were such a good cook?"

"Hey, "Derek pointed his fork at her. "I'll have you know that I am world famous for my spaghetti and meat sauce thank you very much."

She laughed.

"Derek today has been amazing. First the ferry boat ride, then the movie and now this dinner."

She looked away.

"What's wrong?"

"I just feel so…I don't know…guilty."

"Guilty?" He stood up, grabbing her plate with his and walking to the sink.

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"What do you mean why? I've just had the best date of my entire life and it's with a married man."

He looked at her.

"I told you earlier, I talked to Addison. She's staying at Seattle Grace, but we're not together anymore. We both agreed it was for the best."

"I know, but technically, you're still married to her. I feel like a cheap hooker."

Derek laughed.

"It's not funny!" she laughed, trying to be serious.

"It's a little funny."

She groaned, walking over to him.

"This really has been one of the best days I've ever had."

He twirled with her hair.

"I'm glad."

She stared into his eyes, surprised at how easy it was to get lost in them.

He stared back. He inched closer, wanting to kiss her. Suddenly, he pulled back, a look of sadness coming across his face.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's, uh, your nose," he said.

"What?" she reached up to her face, the warm blood covering her fingers.

"Damn it," she sighed, reaching for a paper towel. "They said this might happen."

She put the towel to her face, leaning her head back.

"Well, if that didn't just kill the moment."

Derek grabbed her hand.

"Come on," he said leading her into the living room. He sat her down on the couch. Sitting beside her, he held her hand, not saying a word.

When her nose stopped bleeding, she looked over at him.

"I'm alright."

He nodded. He tried to speak but felt himself choking.

She threw the towel away and washed her hands. But the time she made it back to the living room she was crying.

"Meredith."

She sat down.

"I'm sorry; I don't know why I'm getting so emotional."

He scrunched his face.

"Please don't cry Mer…you know it kills me to see you cry."

She wiped her eyes.

"Its just, after everything we've done today, after all the fun we've had…the day was beyond perfection. And now this happens and it brings me back to reality that today was the last fun day I'm going to be having for a long time. And what's even worse is that you're sitting here with me and your life is about to change…all I am is a burden."

He leaned back against the couch, shutting his eyes.

"Do you think that I think of you as a burden?"

"NO, I don't think you consider me one…but that doesn't mean that I'm not one Derek. You're young. You're an amazing surgeon, you have family and friends that love you…I don't need to drag you down with all of this, I don't want to."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I love you too much to see you be burdened with taking care of me. I won't let you waste your life."

"You just don't get it Mer." He said sadly. "I have no life without you. Don't you see that? I never realized my life was missing something until I met you and I felt complete. For the first time in my life I felt like a whole person."

"Derek-"she rubbed her forehead. "Things are going to be tough and they're going to be scary. And yes, the thought of you by my side makes everything seem better…for me. But not for you."

He rubbed his face.

"So what are you saying? You don't want me there tomorrow?"

She nodded.

He stood up.

"Derek, where are you going?"

"You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met," he said angrily. "Can you just, for one second in your life, think that maybe, there is someone who actually wants to be with you? All of you? For the good and the bad and all the crap in between. I don't understand why it is so hard for you to comprehend that."

He walked towards the door.

"Well I 'm sorry but it is hard!" she yelled back. "I've been alone my whole life. The thought of someone willing to practically give theirs up for me is new territory."

He turned around.

She hung her head.

"I do want you there tomorrow Derek. More than anything, I want you there. I'm just…"

"Stubborn?"

She smirked.

"Well that's one way of looking at it."

He groaned.

"Meredith Grey, you are the most challenging person I have ever met in my entire existence. You're stubborn, and hard headed, and most of the time, you're a handful."

She smiled.

"But…"

"But," he continued. "You keep drawing me back in. Now-"

Suddenly, his pager went off.

He grabbed it.

"What is it?"

"It's a 911 from the hospital."

Then, without warning, Meredith heard her pager from the other room.

"Why would they be paging me?"

She ran in and grabbed it.

"911," she said running back in. "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know but I guess we better go find out." He grabbed her coat, helping her put it on.

"I just don't get why they paged me," she said. "It must be something really big."

She walked out the door. He put on his coat, walking behind her, trying to hide his smile.

"Let's go."

"Son of a –"

Meredith ran into the hospital only to see her friends there, laughing.

"Surprise!" they yelled, George holding up a "Get Well Soon" sign.

She turned to Derek.

"I hope you didn't have anything to do with this."

"Who, Shepard?" Christina walked up to her. "That bastard planned the whole thing."

"Oh, Dr. Yang, I am going to remember that next time we're doing rounds," he laughed.

"You planned this?" Meredith asked.

"The perfect ending to a perfect day," he whispered into her ear.

She smiled.

"Ok," Izzie said. "The party is actually upstairs on the roof. We've got food and music and dancing…"

"It's kinda like prom, but with any luck, no one will be getting knocked up in the back seat of a car." Christina said.

Everyone looked at her.

"OK I hate you all, now let's go."

Everyone laughed as they followed her to the roof.

A few hours later, the party was winding down. Everyone was saying their goodbyes.

"We'll see you tomorrow Dr. Grey," Burke said kissing her cheek.

Christina hugged her.

"I'll try to meet you for your appointment," she said. "If I don't make it down in time, try and find me before you leave, ok?"

"Ok."

Meredith waved as she watched them walk away, hand in hand.

"We're going to head back to the house," Izzie said. "I think George has had a little too much to drink tonight."

"I'm not drunk!" he yelled, his words slurred.

"Ok, maybe I am a little bit…"

Meredith laughed.

"I'll be home soon."

Izzie looked behind her at Derek who was talking to Bailey.

"Have fun," she smiled. "Come one George!"

"Coming!" he hugged Meredith.

"Bye Mer."

"Bye George," she laughed.

Bailey left a few moments later, leaving the two of them alone.

Meredith looked out at the city below her.

"Wow," she breathed. "You know, I've lived here for most of my life and I've never really seen how incredible this city is."

"Ehh, it's ok." Derek said standing next to her. She glared at him.

"What? I'm sorry, I'm a New Yorker."

She smiled.

"Look at it Derek. Doesn't it just take your breath away?"

"Parts of it do…like you."

She rolled her eyes.

"I bet you've been dying to say that all night."

"Since the moment we came up here," he laughed. "Cheesy I know…what can I say, I'm a romantic."

She leaned into him.

"Thank you for everything." She said. "I know I've said it a lot today…but you've deserved it. I'll never be able to thank you enough for all of this."

He reached out his hand.

"Dance with me."

"What?"

"Dance with me," he said again. "IF you want to thank me, then you've gotta dance."

She took his hand.

"Ok."

He pulled her close, softly swaying.

"There's no music." She whispered.

"Sure there is…you're just not listening hard enough."

She closed her eyes, resting her head against his chest.

For a brief moment, she felt invincible.

A feeling, she knew, she might never feel again.