Chapter 19.
Even before they managed to arrange it, Podrick knew that his outing with Sansa wouldn't allowed them much privacy; it had been difficult enough to find in the North so here it would be damn near impossible, so he invited Brienne to go with them preemptively, to which she refused since she wanted to stay near the King to keep him safe. When she asked who else would be going he shrugged, "Her guards, of course, I imagine Snow too, Lord Cromwell, Lady Cromwell and Lady Rose. I don't know who else."
"...You should ask Lord Tyrion."
Podrick shook his head, "I don't think he's in any condition to go," he said knowing Brienne would be skeptic too since she knew Lord Bronn was a terrible influence on Lord Tyrion and on himself and had been one the night before.
"Lord Royce?" she asked and he seemed unconvinced, "I know the two of you became friends in the North but do you think it wise to go on an outing with her?" She knew the Queen well enough to know that nothing truly inappropriate was afoot but she also knew that the rumor mill would get a field day if she let herself be seen out and about with a man; with Podrick Payne, to make things worse, though bringing up his reputation, or even letting him know she knew about it was the last thing Brienne intended to do.
"That's why I'm inviting you." He pressed butBrienne only shook her head apologetically and left, so Podrick made his way to the stables first, wondering if they'd go on horses or by carriage since the place they'd be visiting wasn't too far from the city but when he got there it was apparent that they weren't the only ones wishing to go on an excursion outside the castle since the stables were bustling with lords making travel arrangements.
He was met by three of the Queen's guards who pointed him in her direction and where he found her, she was in the company of two of her guards and the Prince of Dorne who apparently had just run into her and was bringing up some trade matters.
All of the sudden a low growl was heard and Podrick immediately turned to face the animal while taking a few steps back all too aware that the Queen and the Prince's attention was now on him, "...I missed you too Snow," he gritted out as the animal smelled at his feet, as though he was remembering him and oddly enough he stopped growling.
The Prince was in awe of the beast, "Oh believe me when I tell you that the last thing I'd hope to find in this visit was a direwolf." he stated, impressed with the size of the animal and careful to keep his distance.
Sansa noticed that Podrick remained wary of Snow as the same time as he was obviously careful not to approach her and the Prince and so she intervened, "Ser Podrick, let me introduce you to—"
"—We've met," the Prince interrupted as he extended his hand, "but you'll have to forgive me, I can't remember from where. I've a terrible memory sometimes."
Podrick shook his hand making nothing of it since he knew the Prince probably got to meet way to many people, "I'm a Kingsguard and—"
"But of course! You're the knight who surprised everyone last year when you won the Tourney at Storm's End before collapsing, right?" he had bet against him as most lords did and he had lost a considerable sum while Lord Bronn and Lord Tyrion had left with their pockets full after declaring that they never bet against their friends.
"Yes, I-"
"Oh and you were in Dorne some time back with Lord Tyrion and..."
"Ser Davos," Podrick supplied realizing he'd forgotten the name.
"Yes, yes I remember now, of course. Though that's a slip of mind you can forgive. My hangover lasted for a week after you people left." He could see that that piqued the Queen's interested while the Knight was abashed, "Tell me, what ever happened to that winery that Lord Tyrion wanted to start? What was he going to call it? Forgive me, I really have no memory for names..."
"The Imp's Delight," Sansa supplied this time, remembering Tyrion had mentioned it once, "if memory serves..."
Podrick nodded before adding with a grimace, "Let's just say that those first attempts at making wine weren't all that delightful..."
The Prince guffawed and the Queen was attempting to hold her laughter too.
"Well, that explains why the barrels he promised never made it North."
Quentyn tried not to show that her remark made him curious though it did; by now it was evident that she and her former husband got along swimmingly and he thought that it was something Humphrey should be aware of, if he wasn't already. They were interrupted by one of her guards approaching her to inform her that the carriage was taking longer than expected because they weren't the only ones going on an outing and everything was quite a mess, "Are you leaving the castle?" he asked keen on getting answers as he turned to the Knight, "Is the King going too? And the Lord Hand?"
"...No... They aren't coming with us," Sansa supplied unwilling to give out any more information that could give rise to suspicions about their outing, "Ser Podrick and I are long time acquaintances and we were planning to catch up," She offered meagerly.
That was surprising enough, "is Humphrey joining you?" he asked, "because if it's a group thing I'd love to join you."
Podrick looked at her to see her shoulders tensing up and a slight blush appear that could be attributed to the heat as she shook her head, "No, Humphrey isn't coming," she hadn't even mentioned it to him and she didn't want to make a thing of it but she knew that whatever gesture she made could say more than words, especially since the Prince already knew about her betrothal, "...but you're welcome to join us, if you wish," she suspected that Podrick wouldn't like that and so she forced herself not to look at him.
"Oh, I see... no, I don't wish to intrude." They certainly didn't need to leave the castle to catch up and there was also a chance that Lord Tyrion would be joining them later... A woman like her with Lord Tyrion seemed like such a waste.
"You wouldn't be intruding, Prince. Some of my advisors are coming with us too. Join us, I insist, we're not going far, it's not a grand affair, we'll be back for lunch..."
Podrick wondered if she knew she was protesting too much and if he didn't know better, he would have been hurt by that 'it's not a grand affair' remark, "We plan to go to the cliffs, they are quite spectacular."
He nodded and though he found the whole situation an unusual one but while his priority was to stay on the Queen's good side in light of her trade proposal, he was also interested in seeing whether Lord Tyrion would show up unannounced. "...oh, they are but with most lords going in that direction it'll be noon by the time you get there," he mulled something over for a few seconds, "if it really isn't any trouble, Your Grace, I actually know some place that's less known and dangerous and it won't be crowded with visitors..."
Sansa could feel Podrick's tension and she looked at him hesitant about agreeing to the change of plans while seeing an opportunity to close the deal she had proposed. She could do something else with Podrick later, couldn't she?
Podrick didn't know why she was looking at him like she was asking for his opinion, she was the Queen, they'd do as she wished.
"It sounds perfect," Sansa decided at last as she noticed Podrick deflating subtly which was her only sign that the change in plans wasn't to his liking.
The Prince bowed, "It's decided then, we should meet in ten minutes in the east yard. I'll go let my wives and my guards know." But he wouldn't be telling Humphrey sensing that it could upset the Queen and that wasn't something he could afford to do.
A moment after they were finally alone Sansa turned to face Podrick, "...I'm sorry, I know that's not what you had planned..."
"It's fine," he replied trying to hide his disappointment, on the bright side, the Prince was good company, "I invited Ser Brienne to come along but she is busy..." he said pointlessly so that she wouldn't think that he had hoped to be alone with her —even for a moment— during their trip. When Lord Cromwell and Lord Ellison showed up they exchanged pleasantries and Podrick could tell they were relieved to find out that someone else would be joining their party. Then, they went to the yard where they would meet the Prince who was waiting alongside his two wives and two of his own advisors whom he promptly introduced to their group.
"The thing is, if we leave by carriage and with all our guards it'll become a parade through the city and I fear that plenty of lords would follow along," the Prince explained, "so I took the liberty to ask for horses and to let your guards in the stable know they should join us, Your Grace."
It was at that moment that Jacob and the rest of her Guard appeared accompanied by some other twenty soldiers. She thought that if anything there were too many soldiers but not even that reassured her of her safety. The Prince took her silence for acceptance and so he turned to walk away.
"All will be well," Podrick said in a whisper sensing her concern but when his eyes found Lord Cromwell he could tell that he was also wary of making such a sudden change in plans.
They walked out of the castle grounds to a clearing where the horses and another group of Dornish guards had been waiting; it was the same number of guards as hers but with her extra soldiers and Snow, who wouldn't leave her side, she'd have an advantage in case the other group tried something.
Sansa observed the Prince riding ahead, how he and Olive made their companions laugh in between trying to include everyone in the conversation, even those they hadn't met before, it was quite a talent but she didn't manage to lose herself in the conversation quite yet given her wariness. That only lasted until little by little a thicket came into view and beyond it, they could see and hear the ocean roaring, as they advanced, they could start to see the white beach and blue waters and feel the warm breeze in their faces. Sansa heard aaahing and oohing around her and even her men seemed impressed by the way in which the sun sparkled on the rocks making the place seem even more magical; it was a stark difference with the Northern sun that seemed dulled by the fog and clouds that gave her land an air of melancholy.
Suddenly, Snow ran past them howling and barking excitedly towards the water, which worried her at first and prompted one of her guards to go after him but it soon became obvious that the wolf was enjoying himself as he made splashes on the waves and rolled on the sand. Sansa decided to offer an explanation, "the heat is getting to him," she probably was the only person who'd think bringing a direwolf this far south was a good idea but she had learned her lesson and her safety came first.
Soon enough, the retinue found a place to set up and the Guards and soldiers soon secured the place and found strategic posts to both stand guard and give them their privacy.
"It's a lovely place," she had to give the Prince that, at least.
"It is," both Podrick and her advisors admitted, as well as Olive, who'd never been there before.
The Prince smiled pleased with himself and he gestured at Podrick to help him take out some blankets and wineskins from the saddlebags as one of the Guards placed some baskets with food on the sand.
Sansa wondered why the Prince hadn't brought any servants to help setup their impromptu picnic but she had heard that he was a hands on, easy going man which was quite the opposite of her. And yet she hadn't brought any of her handmaids or serving maids either, which was even more telling on its own.
Minutes later, after the guards had done their obligatory tasting of food and wine, they could sit and enjoy their snacks. Everyone was partaking in conversation and enjoying their time together. After eating the food she meant to stand and say she wished to take a walk as an excuse for Podrick to join her but no sooner had she finished than one of the Prince advisors brought up the trade deal that was proposed, praising how interesting it seemed but he said he wished to discuss it further to dissect the pros and cons and while Sansa knew that wasn't the purpose of this outing, she couldn't find a way to avoid the conversation and so she found herself answering the questions that were asked.
From time to time her eyes darted to Podrick and she found him looking into either the horizon or his cup seeming dejected and upset, a mood that she hadn't seen too often in him but which she had learned to recognize. She also studied the Prince and his wives. Mariah and him seemed thrilled by the conversation.
Some twenty minutes later, she got a peek of Podrick's alabaster ankles and dark leg hair as he started taking off his boots and rolling up his trousers before standing and announcing with a forced smile that he would be taking a walk. Olive took advantage of the disruption and used the Prince's shoulder to stand and to support herself as she took off her sandals while telling them that she'd be accompanying the knight. In an attempt to stop her eyes from following their every move, Sansa searched for Snow and she found him running along the beach and playing at nipping at the waves that were breaking on the sand, but never going into the water completely.
A few minutes later, she subtly looked for Podrick and Olive and she saw that they kept their distance from each other as they talked cordially while looking ahead and smiling from time to time.
She was somewhat perplexed to see the Prince shedding his boots as well and taking off but not to look for his wife as she expected but towards Snow after a moment of studying him. However, the guard that was keeping an eye on the wolf immediately stood in his way when he realized the Prince's intended to go near him and he warned him that the animal didn't like strangers. She echoed the explanation to her advisors and to Mariah when their faces turned worried.
Realizing what was going on behind him, Podrick also went to the Prince to advise him not to come closer to the animal.
"What a majestic animal!"
Majestic? Sure, but from a distance, "Yes, my Lord, he looks tame but believe me he isn't, let's step away from him for all our sakes."
"...I want to touch him." he confided.
Podrick and the Queen's guard shared a look between them, "...I don't think that's wise." though who was he to tell the Prince what not to do?
"It's not." Sansa declared as she came up behind them, "Snow is the one who approaches people and not the other way around."
Suddenly an object, seemingly a stick, passed flying above their heads catching Snow's attention and making him run after it and fetching it with a guttural roar. Sansa immediately turned to Olive whose face was frozen in terror as the wolf ran towards her at full speed with the stick in his powerful jaws but she wasn't quick enough to yell any order at the animal and the world seemed to come to a halt for everyone present. Luckily, the direwolf slowed down before stopping in front of the woman still holding on to the branch and wagging his tail, obviously expecting her to throw it again. "...Heavens!" Sansa exclaimed in surprise as Snow dropped the stick on the sand and started bouncing as if to rush the woman…
As he took notice of the Queen's frightened countenance, the Prince couldn't help but chuckle, "It might be that as an alpha male, he enjoys the company of beautiful women..." he offered to ease the tension before gesturing at Olive to throw the stick over and as soon as it hit the ground near them, Podrick immediately stepped back while his hand went reflexively to the hilt of his sword and the Guard that was nearest was quick to do the same. But Snow just ignored them as he picked the stick and brought it back to a now smiling Olive.
A moment later, as he kept his eyes on the pair, Podrick came near Sansa once more to see if maybe this time he could steal her away for a bit but a booming voice interrupted him. "Why the apprehension, Ser Podrick?" the Prince asked as he stared at Olive playing with Snow. That was a majestic beast that deserved a more fearsome name than Snow.
An annoyed Podrick turned to him as he went on to tell him about how the wolf seemed to dislike him and about the time it almost attacked him when he tried to play catch with it. He explained how the direwolf wouldn't listen to the Queen and that it took several guards to dissuade the wolf. They silently observed as Olive stretched out her arm to pet the animal and it let her. Half her arm got lost in its fur.
"You don't want the scent of wet direwolf on you," Sansa warned the woman uselessly since she didn't seem to be paying mind to her.
Instead, Olive raised her eyes to her and the to the Prince before throwing the stick at his feet. Sansa bent to pick it and then she called Snow who came running immediately. Unlike Olive, she didn't pet him, she just looked him in the eye before handing out the branch to the Prince, since something told her he would give it a try despite all their warnings.
The Prince threw the stick straight ahead of him and it only took a second for the wolf to emit another roar and go running after it before bringing it to Olive, which delighted them. It was then that the Prince decided to join in the game and once it seemed that he'd earned the wolf's trusts he finally achieved his goal of petting it.
Once it was clear that the Prince, his wife and the wolf would keep playing, thus giving them some alone time, Sansa decided to take her chance, "I apologize, I know that none of this is going like you planned." rather than answering Podrick's eyes remained fixed ahead of him as though he didn't hear her, which she found odd, "Podrick, are you angry?" she could only remember him being mad when they were on the run and his bad mood was easily attributed to being tired and hungry.
He didn't feel like talking and he wondered whether he should or not but in the end he decided not to bottle up his feelings, "Angry? No. I'm disappointed, sad." he felt her standing straighter while he ran a hand through his hair after a breezed ruffled it, "In truth there's no reason for me to be here," he added before looking at her and quickly looking elsewhere as not to give away too much to their companions, "Snow has settled, he won't attack the Prince or his wife now. You can go back to your advisors and finish closing your deals."
Podrick's stilted tone annoyed her in turn. From the corner of the eye she saw him starting to move away and she almost reached out to hold him in place but she topped herself knowing how it would look, "Don't go." she asked instead, but she was irked enough that her words came out cold and more than a request they sounded like an order.
"Why should I stay?" he hissed exasperated all of the sudden, "I don't know what I'm doing here, you're engaged and I don't know what's the point of this outing." he threw her a sideways glance to find her as stoic as ever, though the way she was clenching her jaw and the anger in her eyes was telling, "You were right, I...got my hopes up only to have them crushed again... I'm a fool who can't learn his lessons."
Why did he have to talk like that? Sansa moved to subtly get on his way when he made a new attempt to walk away, "Podrick—"
But it was then that the Prince decided to get back to them to offer the stick to Podrick, "Come on Ser Podrick, give it a try... Snow might approve of you by now."
He offer a polite, tight smile, "I won't go near that animal unless I absolutely have to." and his voice was tight with exasperation at the constant interruptions.
"Come on, man, you can't tell me that the victor of the latest tourney, the Queen's savior and Kingsguard is afraid of a direwolf..."
"Oh, but I am. Call it survival instincts." Podrick admitted, "I've seen him tear a horse apart like it's nothing. You might think he's a friendly pet but at heart it's a ruthless beast." Not unlike it's mistress. Maybe.
The Prince was taken aback by how earnest he was and he looked to the Queen who nodded in agreement.
When the Prince finally desisted and walked away Sansa spoke, "...I wanted to spend time with you too." That was obvious, "I still do. Don't think I'm happy with all these interruptions. It's just that I...just don't go."
Oh, he knew all too well what that 'It's just that...' meant. "I really am a fool because deep inside I let myself hope that something more would—" He stopped when Snow made it back to where they were standing, with the stick in his jaw and looking to catch his mistress attention.
Sansa took the stick form the wolf as she decided she needed to change the sour mood of the conversation, "I have blind trust in you," she stated and he frowned uncertain of where she was going with this, "Do you trust me, Podrick?" she wondered why shehadn't tried this back in Winterfell.
He suspected what she intended to do, "Normally I do. It's your direwolf I don't trust." He looked at the animal who was holding his gaze. Then she stood between him and the direwolf and he fixed on her eyes as she looked at him over her shoulder, surprising him by how close to him she was despite the others' presence. It sent his heart racing.
She couldn't help but feel bashful when he blushed and his eyes went to her mouth only to quickly go back and forth between the Prince and her advisors, "...The Prince's got a point, you have too many feats to your name to be scared by Snow."
"If you're trying to convince me to let that animal maim me, I'll pass, thank you. I'm happy to keep all my limbs intact." As soon as he said it both their minds went to the injury on his side, which he got protecting her.
As Podrick waited for her to reply he saw a blur in front of her and he tilted his head to meet Snow's eyes staring fixedly at him.
"Behave," Sansa ordered the direwolf as she turned to face Podrick fully while she handed him the stick and he remained set in not taking it from her. Sansa didn't know what possessed her to do what she did next.
He was stunned when out of nowhere she struck him on the forehead with the stick either to catch his attention or call him out on his fears, he couldn't say, but his reaction was to let out a whine followed by a burst of laughter at her antics, "Ouch!" It had hurt and he wasn't shy to let her know it.
She was feeling a mix of shame and amusement but seeing him rub the spot while laughing prompted her to grab his arm, "I'm sorry!I didn't mean to hit you so hard," she explained as she shared in his laughter while he kept on rubbing the spot. When she convinced him to let her look at the damage to find a red spot her mind regretfully went to the reverberation of the blunt hit felt on her hand, "Oh, I'm sorry," there was no bump, though, and feeling slightly better she let her eyes travel to his to share a look. But then Snow wagging his tail brought her back to the present. They put space between them and Sansa turned serious again, "Trust me. At the end there in Winterfell, Snow wasn't that bad to you..."
"Well, that's true." His mind went to the times when they'd hide away to kiss with the wolf around. Their eyes found each other's' as the same set of memories flooded their minds. Did it really take so little for him to stop being mad at her? "Have I told you I'm a fool?"
Sansa opted not to answer him as she handed him the stick, this time their fingers brushed against the others on purpose. Once he grabbed the stick, Snow growled in Podrick's direction and the knight dropped it at once.
"I can't!" he squealed earning laughter from Olive and the Prince.
Sansa grinned as well, "Snow, behave!" she called out as she threw the branch as far as she could to then turn to face Podrick and take him by the arm to guide him in the opposite direction of the pair. They made their way slowly towards a big rock where they sat. They weren't far enough as to give way to new rumors, though those who wanted to read too much in it, would have a field day.
As she bent to remove her boots too, Sansa threw a look at her advisors who were about a hundred yards away still discussing terms and who knew what else. "You're not the only fool here, Podrick," she stated finding it difficult to say the rest, "I've always known that we don't have a future... so believe me when I tell you that coming here..." She paused to rephrase it, "being here... it's surprising to me how hard it is to let go of you."
He tried his best not to turn to look at her and instead mirror her stance looking over waves crashing on the shore, "I always thought of us as impossible even when we were …happening... I've been... I thought I had made peace with it but the second I laid my eyes on you again... even knowing about your marriage... I just... all of it is playing on my emotions..."
Tried as she might she wasn't able to keep looking away and her eyes finally met is in a deep stare. His words felt like a dagger to the heart.
He knew that her visit to King's Landing was likely their last chance ever to be alone together, "It was insane to come here today, I don't know what I was thinking, I knew you had to move on and I'd stay in the past bound to be what I've always been, a servant to your brother, to the Lannisters, to you."
That last part of his tirade shocked her, as did his relative calm as he said all those things while she was grief-stricken and about to burst, "You are not a servant. You're a knight. A Kingsguard."
"I'm a guard at the service of your brother and of you. I might not clean your chamber-pots or make your food but I'm a servant all the same, Ma'am."
"Not to me, you aren't. Nor to Lord Tyrion or Ser Brienne, or to your friend, Lord Bronn. You're just saying that to make yourself feel worthless and you know it."
"There are many things I'm not. A real prospect for you, among them. Maybe saying it out loud can remind us of my place."
"You're Ser Podrick Payne, one of the most prominent members of House Payne, a vassal to the most powerful Western house. "
"And still not a possibility for you."
That, at least, was unequivocal. Her eyes searched for Snow in an attempt to take a moment, the wolf had grown tired of playing with the Prince and was once again playing with the waves. The Prince and Olive were making their way back to them and Sansa smiled at them in an attempt to seem unaffected.
The Prince pointed at a trail that disappeared among the bushes, "There's a cliff at the end of the trail, not one as impressive as the ones you planned to visit but the view from up the is quite something, shall we go?" he asked showing them the two waterskins in his hands.
"Apologies, but shouldn't the Prince and the Queen join their advisors to discuss your business?" Podrick interjected because he honestly wanted to get out of this situation, he needed an excuse to go back to the castle even if he thought it unfair seeing as he was the one who invited her on an outing in the first place. He felt rather than saw her seething eyes on him.
Something told Olive that there was something suspicious going on between these two but she couldn't put her finger on what that was. But she was struck by the somewhat snooty manner in which the Knight spoke to the Prince before she took it upon herself to answer him, "We came here to have a good time," then she added, "not to bore ourselves to death with the same old stuff."
The Prince agreed, "And that's what advisors are for, don't you agree ma'am?"
Sansa nodded, pleased by the Prince's good disposition despite Podrick's abruptness, "Won't your other wife mind you taking off instead of keeping her company?"
"Believe me, she'll be more comfortable staying there in the shadows rather than climbing on a rock," he grinned affably.
"So would I," Sansa admitted as pleasantly as her hands went to her armored bodice, although she was wearing a loose and fresh linen dress, she knew the bodice would be a problem and she wasn't exactly prepared to go on an expedition but she didn't want to lose face with the Prince and so she turned to grab her boots, "but I'm also looking forward to a change of scenery," then she looked at Podrick, "Shall we go?" she asked, silently begging for him to stay with her.
He was annoyed by her even asking him the question with those eyes because that was her way of making him give in. He hadn't even agreed when he felt the Prince's wife handing him one of the waterskins. "...Let's go, then." and then he dithered, "Should I go grab our shoes?" he asked hoping that the Prince or his wife would order him to bring them.
Quentyn breathed out, "There's no need, I think. The trail is sandy for the most part though there are some rougher parts. Olive and I can handle them and I assume you can too, Ser Podrick."
Well, that was a bust, he though as he glanced at Sansa dropping her boots aside and choosing to go barefoot as well. Podrick bowed in a gesture to let the three go several paces ahead of him actively stopping himself from catching up with them even after she kept throwing glances back at him in the middle of their conversation.
Suddenly, the Prince turned when he heard rustle behind them, to see six guards approaching "Oh, for the gods' sake! leave us be, you have secured the entire place, we don't need you following us." he exclaimed prompting his guards to bow while the Queen's looked at her for an order.
Sansa felt Podrick's eyes on her as she nodded, "...Its fine. Stay." She told them, all too aware of her lack of good judgment, "Snow, come!" she called knowing beforehand that he'd follow her regardless and without further ado she turned back and continued walking ahead.
Soon enough she felt herself getting breathless and damp and she looked at her companions who were laughing and chatting without issue; Podrick too was making his way easily but when they realized she was struggling they stopped and Sansa could only shake her head embarrassedly, "The heat is starting to get to me," she said as she used the handkerchief the Prince offered her to wipe her forehead.
As he handed her the skin he'd been holding, Podrick remembered, from when they were attacked, that she didn't have a lot of stamina and that he'd warned her about it. She gratefully took a big gulp only to grimace as it went down.
"...That's wine." She'd been expecting water.
"Do you object to drinking Arbor Gold, Queen?" inquired Olive.
Sansa still didn't know what to make of this woman who seemed to enjoy antagonizing her at every turn, "...Never, I just thought it was water."
The Prince smiled as he handed her the skin he was carrying.
Sansa took it thankfully handing him the other skin, "Go ahead if you wish," Podrick suggested, "I'll escort her back."
"We're halfway there already, I can make the extra effort though I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up with you." Sansa said.
The Prince nodded, "You shan't give up, the view from up there is spectacular, the worse part of the road is already behind us."
Then the Prince and his wife turned on their heels and continued on their way and so Podrick went back to her to offer her his arm in silence. And so they walked the path arm in arm, stopping every once in a while so that she could regain her breath. Some ten minutes later they made it to the top to see the Prince and his wife sitting on a rock and putting a stop to their necking as they felt them approaching. Podrick looked away from the display to find the view they'd been promised. "It's gorgeous..." he breathed out as he took notice of the seemingly calm, clear and endless ocean below.
Sansa went from bending over to catch her breath to straightening up to look at the landscape, "It is."
As they heard them approach the Prince stood to give his place on the rock to the Queen. Olive observed her in her flushed state; she was glistening and taking deep breaths and when she drank more water she could see her hands shaking. She'd bet she'd get a hellish headache later in the day. And despite all of that, her beauty remained untouched, "That bodice can't feel good," she commented as her eyes remained locked on the two men walking to the edge of the hill apparently talking about where was what from their pointing and gesturing.
Sansa nodded, "And it'll feel worse by the minute." If anything the chafing would worsen thanks to the heat and the sweat.
She couldn't argue with that, "I'll help you take it off if you want."
The fact that she actually considered it only went to show how much discomfort it was to wear it yet she refused the offer, "Regrettably I'm not wearing it because it's fashionable but for protection."
She wasn't going to lie, she liked how the Queen dressed but those accessories were less practical here than in the North, "...It makes sense, after all you've been through."
Sansa turned to study the woman whose eyes were cast over the horizon. Meanwhile, Snow kept walking and sniffing along the trail, getting lost among the bushes and suddenly appearing again with —a coconut? in his jaws before coming to sit beside them.
Quentyn turned to the women and held out his arm for his wife to take it as he told her that he wanted to show her the place they'd been discussing and telling Ser Podrick how to get there later if the Queen thought she could make it there.
Podrick looked at their retreating forms for a few seconds before glancing at her looking slightly less goddess-like thanks to the wind in her heir, the sweat and the exertion visible on her face. As her normal color was returning her clear blue eyes found his.
But Sansa waited until she was sure they wouldn't be overheard before speaking, "I didn't mean to force you to do something you didn't want to do... I just don't want you to leave. It's not fair. The only reason why I even left the castle was to spend time with you."
Oh they shouldn't start on what was and wasn't fair. Podrick took a deep breath as he stretched his hand and gestured for her to hand him the waterskin and then he drank from it. He soon tensed up when Snow stood and started panting with his tongue out as he stared at him, "Oh now you want my attention, huh?" he asked the wolf.
Sansa took the skin back from him and Snows eyes followed it so she bent down and poured some water on her hand to offer it to the animal and trying not to spill it. Instead of crowding her, Podrick picked up the other wineskin and drank from it before he silently offered it to her once she was finished with Snow but Sansa passed on the wine as her eyes went to Snow going off to explore somewhere, the last thing she needed to quell her thirst was the dry taste of wine in her mouth.
"A part of me already accepted this situation and yet I couldn't help but be upset... not when you decided to extend my invitation to you, to the Prince. And I know it would be lowly of me to just leave since this was because of me but... I suppose I'm hurt enough to be petty..."
Abandoning her wasn't exactly petty but she could see how he'd think that way.
"...I might be feeling like shit but I have no regrets. Just know that." He turned to look at her, her cheeks a little sunburnt, "...sorry for cursing." his apology was left in the air as though unheard she contemplated the horizon before turning to meet his eyes.
"I have no regrets either." they gazed intently into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity before her eyes strayed to his mouth and his promptly fell to hers.
His eyes suddenly felt heavy as she breathed out.
"Your hair's longer, the beard is back," she pointed it out loud in an attempt to draw her mind away from her desires, the beard wasn't as long or unruly as it had been in Winterfell, this time around he kept it trimmed but it was enough to cover his jaw, "It sort of made sense in Winterfell but with the heat here..."
Podrick took a deep breath realizing what she was doing, "I can't just shave it all for you this time around, Ma'am."
"I wasn't asking you to... but I'm curious now, why can't you?"
"I'm preparing to do a job for your brother," interest immediately sparked in her eyes, "but I can't say much about it, I'm afraid."
Bran and his secrets, she thought.
The stayed quiet for a few minutes with the wind hitting their faces as they listened to the sound of the ocean. Podrick was aware that her advisors could still see them from afar even if they only looked like two small dots. From one moment to the next she was standing and calling for Snow, who failed to appear. He sighed as he saw her going for the bushes knowing what it would look like if he followed her, "Ma'am you should stop, you'll hurt your feet," gods, he sounded silly.
Sansa wasn't paying him any mind as she made her way among the palm trees and bushes following the noise the wolf was making as he played with some coconuts like they were his prey. She called to him but instead of listening to her the wolf kept nipping and biting at the fruits until he got to the milk inside before finishing his task of destroying and eating them.
Podrick walked to where she was standing and as he joined her she turned to face him. He decided to take a shot in the dark, "The other night in the library, when I asked you how the lords managed to convince you to come at the last minute to take matters into your own hands... I suspect that you also came for me." But the look in her eyes betrayed nothing.
"I feel nothing for Humphrey," she admitted instead of giving him a straight answer, "nothing whatsoever. He's just another pawn on the board. And I wanted to see you but make no mistake, I came for the North." She swallowed, "I am thrilled to see you but I had promised myself that for the duration of my stay here nothing would happen between us no matter how tempting...out of respect for you."
For him or for that what's-his-name? Humphrey? He wondered if the betrothed would have the same consideration for her if another beautiful woman entered the picture, would he remain faithful? "Was that an empty promise?" Podrick murmured in a dare, and he looked on fascinated by her eyes intent on him as she tried to control the emotions that were getting the best of her in the wake of his straightforward question, until the cold mask faded away.
Up until the other night in the library she truly believed that she could stop herself from kissing him, "Yes." she confessed as they walked towards each other. Her hands went to pull him in from the neck as his went to her waist to close the space between them. They were rendered immediately breathless, yet she pulled him closer to her to kiss him harder. They moaned into each other's mouths and the world seemed to disappear.
As he returned her punishing kiss his eyes widened in surprise at her intensity. The hands on the back of his neck seemed unable to find a way to bring his face closer to hers, to keep him from pulling back. His own hands on her back were desperate to feel and press her to him in any way they could as they kiss deepened. She was only his. She couldn't argue against it, not with the way she was kissing him.
All the months of despair and confusion, of bitterness and anger, of yearning and heartache melted into the kiss.
And desire. Desire consumed them.
But a kiss so intense couldn't last long.
And when it ended they kept on holding onto each other as their heads found a place on the other's shoulder.
Podrick would take advantage of any opening she gave him from now on.
She half-heartedly whined when she tried to pull apart but he wouldn't give an inch. Instead, he tilted his head enough to find the curve of her neck to kiss it softly, sneaking a taste of the sweat on her skin and relishing in the feel of her shuddering in his arms before deciding to leave it at that, a small taste, and straightening back up to look into her eyes. He tried and failed to find any sign of doubt, of regret in them and instead saw a newfound determination in her face as her eyes darted back and forth between his mouth and his eyes. As he caught his breath he became aware of the ache in his jaw, "This is what we were playing at with this outing... trying to find even the smallest chance to be alone... am I wrong?"
Sansa couldn't even speak, her heart trying to break free from her chest, and so she shook her head, "...But this isn't right, Podrick... I don't want to do this to you. Hurt you." there were so many feelings and sensations that he'd awoken in her that were overwhelming; too many to bear even, which might be the reason the pounding in her head seemed to grow stronger.
She was right, this wasn't right... but fuck being right. "Do you still care for me as much as I care for you?" seeing her nod without breaking her haze, without hesitation or thought prompted him to push her to walk backwards with him pressed firmly to her front in a slow careful motion, with her throwing careful glances at the ground mindful not to misstep and take a fall. As she felt what could only be a tree at her back, she was quickly trapped between it and him.
And they met again in full force.
His lips massaged hers firmly and she parried back in kind. It was a rush of memory and feeling; the rhythm, the pressure, her breath, her taste. And the realization that she had never kissed him quite like this... with all this impossible desire that had her grasping at the nape of his neck, at his back to hold on to him as a weight settle on her lower belly and her legs shook. A gasp escaped her when she felt his hands pressing firmly on her sides and pulling down on the laces of her corset once, and the realizing, when he did it again, that he didn't mean to untie them, he was just trying to hold on to her someway, just as she was. Or that's what she told herself, anyway.
Podrick felt her actively mirroring his intensity, grabbing at his shoulder and side harder, sometimes burying her nails in his back as she writhed in response to the kisses he was pressing on her neck. More than once he had to stop his hands on her sides from dancing their way on an upward path and grabbing on to her breast by remanding himself that given the thick corset she was wearing, it wouldn't be possible for either of them to feel much.
He was already overwhelmed by being so closed to her after so many months of craving her. He couldn't stop the husky moan that came out when her fingers found a spot on his neck that nearly made his knees buckle from the pleasure. He was infinitely pleased when he felt her trembling in his arms in answer to his moan before she suddenly diverted her efforts to latch onto his neck and kissing him in a new and enthusiastic way that made him pull apart a moment later to stop her from marking him. But he didn't give her any time to second guess her actions as he dove to devour her mouth again.
Among the many thoughts rushing through Sansa's mind, the Prince was a concern and from time to time she'd open her eyes to reassure herself that the trail wasn't visible from where they were and that there was no one watching them. On one of those occasions when she felt him pulling away, she hastily grabbed to his waist and brought him to her, the impact forceful enough that their minds went blank for a moment. She could feel how the kisses were having quite an effect on him too asthey gasped into each other's mouths unwittingly.
He felt as she tensed in his arms and he searched her eyes as he made a conscious effort not to press his erections against her thigh or worse, to start rubbing up against her. They stilled for a moment. Up until now Podrick had savored her enthusiasm both when their gazes met and when she'd let those delightfully shaky moans. He had never seen nor felt her this aroused before, though he suspect this little mishap would halt said enthusiasm. Not that it was little, mind you. "You alright?" he asked as the silly jape flashed through his mind and opting instead to trade lightly, aware as he was that she was still holding onto his waist tightly.
She was at a loss for words, still coming to terms with the situation pressed and throbbing against her as he was and although it was bordering on mortifying it was also... it was him who moved his hips away making her realize that it had been her pulling him on to her and she quickly figured that if she let go completely he would think her frightened or wary of him so, to compromise, she slid her had to his shoulders as she answered, "Yes, I'm fine. That was just... unexpected, is all." she answered as both regained their composure. And then, all her moment's hesitation vanished again when he leaned in to kiss her again, this time more softly and lovingly, and while there was some residual embarrassment she mostly felt comfortable, the furthest from terrified she'd ever been, she managed to think before surrendering to him again.
At some point he felt her letting go of the back of his neck to map a path down his back making him shiver, and as the thought of 'I've missed you,' materialized in his head, his traitorous mouth found the shell of her ear to whisper "I love you."
She couldn't stop the moan and tremor that escaped her at hearing his words. "I love you too," she answered back without thinking.
The enormity of her response sobered them since it was Podrick who had admitted to his feelings before albeit not in those exact words. For a second, both tried to fool themselves into thinking they could downplay their confession as a blunder but as soon as their gazes found each other they realized it was useless.
Podrick swallowed as he took in her shocked expression and feeling just as shocked himself. The he cupped her face, his thumb stroking her cheek, "Well, at least that was something I had implied before." true, in a letter, but it was quite something else to say it in person.
It was revealing her own feelings for him what came as a revelation form her when not minutes ago she had been telling herself she didn't love him. She couldn't reply as she wasn't sure what to say, she could only look at him as her fingernails raked over his neck. But she could tell he was expecting something from her an so she spoke, "...I've missed you."
"I noticed," he teased, alluding to the way in which they had been kissing. She responded by averting her eyes in embarrassment and he had to let out a small laugh at that. He was still in shock from the way she was acting, far from the soft and innocent woman he remembered from Winterfell and in her place a needier, and much more insistent one; he'd credit that to their time apart, time that had made it clear what they really meat to each other. "I've missed you too." it took a few seconds for her to push pass the embarrassment but finally a complicit smile appeared on her face and that was all it took to reassure him. Her behavior could also be explained by the fact that they were running out of time. Podrick's was momentarily distracted by Snow who was still playing with the fruits but his attention was back on her as soon as she pressed a couple more kisses below his jaw that prompted him to speak. "You're not married yet..."
She threw her head back and blinked a few times, "...No" She paused. "But I'd never dare dishonor you by putting you in a position where you'd be a thir-" but his thumb on her mouth and a slight shake of his head stopped her from saying more... They just stared at each other.
And that appeared to be enough to come to a silent agreement.
She swallowed as his thumb massaged her lower lip and his eyes looked at it hungrily, "Hmmm... we should better go back to the trail lest the Prince and his wife come looking for us." Sansa decided to say.
He figured those two were probably caught in a similar situation, but she was right. "Go ahead, I'll be with you in a minute," and as she was about to refuse he only raised an eyebrow to remind her just why he needed an extra second. She nodded before turning an calling on Snow to follow her in her way back. This time, the direwolf, who still had a coconut between his jaws, followed dutifully. Her lips were swollen and his beard had left redden traces on the skin around her mouth and he hoped she was aware of it in case the Prince came back before him.
As she sat down on the same rock as before while Snow continued with his games, her mind was reeling from everything that had just transpired, from what she knew she'd been unthinkingly playing at. Liar. She'd been thinking on it for weeks. Ever since she decided to come to King's Landing, his 'You're not married yet.' an echo in her mind. How disloyal to Podrick this felt.
Although, was it disloyal at all knowing she also meant very little to her future husband?
Why should that sham of a betrothal stop her from getting what she desired?
She focused on the landscape and as she looked at the spots that Lord Cromwell and the retinue had become form this far, she wondered if it was possible that the Prince had already come and passed them by altogether. When Podrick made his way back to her a few minutes later she couldn't stop the terrible flush from creeping over her skin, nor could she stop herself from smiling openly at him when he sat next to her.
"This won't be the last time we meet... during your visit, I mean." he wanted to made it clear that from here on he would continue looking for chances to be with her.
"It won't be." She agreed. They'd find a way to meet again. They just had to make sure to do it more privately.
Podrick left it at that choosing instead to remain silent and to distract himself from this mess they were in by relishing in the memory on what had just happened. They waited in silence for the marks on her face to disappear and when Podrick saw that they blended with the flush she had from the heat he stood, "Come, let's look for the Prince," he said as he leaned to pick up the water and wineskins before leading the way to where the other pair had disappeared to a while back.