**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the quote below. I just own Sintary ^^ Also I do not own the other OC Kokuro. He's my friend's.

Wow. Can you believe it's been a month since I started this story? It's been one heck of a rollercoaster, don't ya think? Well, prepared to go upside down a couple times in loops, this chapter's a doosy! The first part is written by Ko's creator. He's been kinda anxious for this scene, so I said go ahead and write it! Hope, it doesn't gross you guys out too much!

"I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was in the dark

I was falling hard

With an open heart

I'm wide awake

How did I read the stars so wrong

I'm wide awake

And now it's clear to me

That everything you see

Ain't always what it seems

I'm wide awake

Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

I wish I knew then

What I know now

Wouldn't dive in

Wouldn't bow down

Gravity hurts

You made it so sweet

Till I woke up on

On the concrete"

Katy Perry, Wide Awake

The pair stood close and locked eye, that was all it took. Kai lifted the smaller man and pinned him against the dojo wall. His mouth found Kokuro's pulse point and sucked on it gently. Kokuro melted in his arms; letting out gasps and moans as his hands grasped at his lover's back. Still holding his lover against the wall, Kai took Kokuro's hands and pinned them above his head, stretching him taunt. With his other, he pulled open the front of his training ghee. Kokuro moaned and whimpered under Kai's touch. The dark haired shinobi pushed down with his waist grinding their hips together, his legs coiled around Kai's waist for more force. The larger shinobi nipped at Kokuro's collar, teeth stinging the flesh. Kokuro's breath caught in a strangled moan as he threw his head back against the wall. The pair tumbled to the floor and clothing came loose until the two were naked on the floor.

"There has never been a more beautiful sight in all of Konoha," said Kai, "Kokuro I love you."

"Kai, I love you too," said the dark haired shinobi, "I will never leave your side."

Their lips met and passion bloomed. First gentle then ever growing with longing and desire. Bodies writhed in the passion of the moment kissing and nipping of skin. Breaths came in short gasps and moans. Kokuro took Kai's length in hand eliciting an excited cry.

"You really want me Ko?"

Between gasps and cries, Kokuro mewled, "Yes, kami, yes, I need you."

The larger shinobi pushed the younger to the ground and positioned himself between his legs. Dipping down, Kai moved down Ko's chest, leaving kisses and nipping the soft skin. He moved down lower and lower, Ko's breathing becoming erratic, desperate. Kai smirked and took his friend into his mouth, his lips enveloping around Kokuro's growing member. The dark haired shinobi screamed and writhed in pleasure, slamming his hands into the training mats. Kokuro's cries grew more erratic and his climax grew it became harder to holdback his pleasure. Just as he felt the fire in his stomach grow to a fever pitch, warm liquid covered them both. Kokuro felt a burning and opened his eyes. Kai's face was a twisted smile as a dagger plunged deep into Kokuro's chest. A silent screamed escaped his lips as his eyes grew dark.

"So you had a weakness, you filth," Danzo snapped. "Emotions such as love, fear, or pain must be eliminated. Shikaru, again."

A masked shinobi stepped forward and placed his hands on Kokuro's head. The young shinobi struggled against his bonds to no avail. The rope bit into his skin chaffing and scaring his wrists. The young boy moaned and writhed first in pleasure then excruciating pain. Danzo moved forward and grabbed Kokuro by his hair slamming his head against the wall. He pulled out a blade, glimmering in the faint light of the burning brazier. Swiftly, he brings the blade under the edge of Kokuro's nail.

"Members of the ROOT feel no pain; they take order only. So, I order you to feel nothing."

Danzo pushed the edge of the blade against the skin and began to pry Kokuro's nail up. Blood poured from the shinobi's finger as he strained and screamed. He begged for mercy and tried desperately to escape. Danzo responded by fully ripping out the nail and running the edge into the raw skin.

"What a disappointment, oh well, we have nine more tries until I have Shikaru heal you. Then we may begin again."

The setting sun fades and screams echo through the twilight. Crimson blood flows across the maple leaves; veining the dry surface with a deep red stain. Wind whistles and roars to a crescendo, building up, racing against Kokuro's screams. His eyes widen in fear as the blade is brought against the sinew of his ribs. The edge pulls and grinds against muscle and bone and pitiful wails echo from the poor shinobi.

"Shut the fuck up you freak. You must be nothing you are 'Tsuki' under the ROOT, and you will learn your place," scolds Shikaru icily, slamming Ko's head against the post. Seven and a half hours of nonstop torture. Danzo reentered the room wielding a wickedly curved blade, grinning evilly.

"Tsuki, hold still."

Kokuro froze trying to abate further pain, he was wrong. Danzo nods, and Shikaru's strong hands hold Kokuro's right eye open. The eyes begin to burn in the smoky air. Then, hellish burning, and screaming pain. Kokuro tried to scream, but no sound escaped his lips, Danzo pulled the blade away, leaving Kokuro hollow and writhing.

"I like my work what do you think" Danzo hissed. Raising his one free hand, he revealed a single round object. As Kokuro's vision cleared he could see the small glint of a crimson sphere. Then it hit him as he finally found his voice and screamed.

His eye.

Danzo had cut out his eye.

"Don't worry, you will get this back, but first, it is time to remove the other."

Kokuro screamed and struggled like a rabid animal, and a sadistic smile grew on Danzo's face. This was going to be fun, and just to think this was only the first day.

Kokuro gasped, shooting up from his laid position. His eyes seemed intact for he could see the darkened room. He moved to get up, but got tangled in the sheets. However, the feeling of being constraint instantly sent the nin into a frenzy again. He was panicking; unable to think clearly as he tore through the sheets.

He panted landing on the ground with a thud. His hands gripped the floor for dear life though they had nothing to grasp on.

Was that seriously a panic attack he just had? If so, how could he possibly manage more?

"Kokuro?" Came a soft voice.

Sintary.

The man in question's thoughts immediately went to what he had learned about his comrade. She went through this all the time. How had she managed to stay sane through all those attacks? Would he be suspended as a ninja too?

Kami could only be so kind, unfortunately.

"Kokuro, are you okay?" Came her voice again.

He blinked and looked up. She was standing in front of him. It looked like she was ill and hadn't slept for days.

"What are you doing on the floor?" Sintary asked quietly.

"I—I" he couldn't speak.

He saw her eyes narrow as she examined him.

"What the fuck did they do to you in training?" She asked.

Kokuro's expression turned to confusion. That… it hadn't been a nightmare? He slowly got to his feet and headed into the bathroom to the mirror.

His heart stopped.

He didn't recognize the man reflecting back at him.

The man before him had bloodshot eyes with dried blood all around them. There were cuts and gashes down his neck and onto his chest. Upon standing, his torso seemed to scream at him, and it roared now. He doubled over the sink and coughed up a bit of blood.

It hadn't been a dream – a horrible dream.

All of it had been real.

Holy shit.

Kokuro felt his breathing pick up as his heart accelerated. Oh Kami, not again.

He felt a hand grip his shoulder and turn him around.

"Kokuro!" The voice whispered urgently. "Come on, snap out of it!"

Suddenly, his cheek stung. He blinked a couple of times and looked at the woman in front of him. Concern was edged into her tired blue eyes. His sore chest ached as he panted, still unable to calm down. He felt cool hands cup the sides of his face and felt a soft substance go inside him. Kokuro went to pull away, but Sintary held fast.

"Relax. It's just my chakra. I'm healing your eyes," she explained calmly as she worked.

Her hands then moved down his neck and onto his chest. She would pause to heal here and there, making sure not to miss anything. She finished and stepped back, looking him over.

"Was this from the training you've been at for the past four days?" Sintary asked him.

Four days? He had been gone for four days? Kokuro couldn't help but to shudder. What else had to put him through?

"Ko, talk to me," Sintary pleaded. "Did Danzo do this to you?"

The name struck fear into Kokuro's very soul. He backed up thinking he had a place to go, but he knocked into the flimsy cabinet that had his mirror and a sink in it causing the it to knock into the wall a bit, breaking the mirror.

Seven years of bad luck for him.

It didn't matter much though; he was already in hell.

Sintary looked at her friend stuck in his inner turmoil. She couldn't help him if he wouldn't talk to her. Talking always made her feel better during these times. She could hear how silly her anxieties sounded. She could let out all her fears, and untangle herself from her mind. Itachi had always forced her to talk too. If she didn't, she was an absolute mess.

Like Kokuro was now.

"Kokuro," Sintary called out trying to reach him.

The tortured shinobi did what he thought was for the best; he locked down. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, locking everything he felt away.

"You should go to sleep, Sin. You look like hell," he said after a minute.

Sintary blinked, stepping back. "What the hell, Kokuro?!" She exclaimed. "This is about you, not me!"

Kokuro opened his eyes slightly so they were narrowed and mean looking. "Maybe you should stop focusing on others and focus on yourself for once." He said coldly.

Sintary looked at the man in front of her, baffled. "Are you fucking kidding me?! After all we've been through? Now – now! You choose now to shut down and push me away!? What the fuck did they do to you in there?!"

"Enough!" Kokuro snarled as his eyes flashed red. "This is my path! Itachi chose his, and you need to find yours! Don't you get it?! We're not a team anymore! You don't have to keep looking over me like I'm a little boy or a wounded puppy!" He snapped. "You know what your problem is? You're so used depending on others and having them depend on you in return. That's not the case anymore Sintary! You. Are. Alone! If you want people to depend on you, go to the fucking hospital like you've been wanting to! You put yourself to actual good use, and stay out of my way!"

Sintary was hurt by Kokuro's words, but she was more upset that hurt. He knew he'd never mean those words. He was certainly being an ass about all this though. She felt her own anger raise for him being an idiot at the moment.

Sintary grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him to her. "You listen to me, you idiot! We made promises to each other! Do you remember that? We promised to protect each other and be there for one another!"

Kokuro grabbed Sintary's fisted hand and yanked it from his shirt. "Itachi broke his promise to us. He said he'd always be there for us. Promises mean nothing apparently." He said coldly.

Sintary wanted to scream. "He didn't ha—" Sintary cut off as her seal activated.

Kokuro didn't even move or ask if she was okay. "Go home, Sintary."

Sintary glared at him with hurt eyes. "You are worse than scum, Kokuro Ostutsuki," she spat and vanished.

That seemed to resonate something inside him. Kokuro collapsed to his knees in the bathroom. What had just happened? What had he done? What the hell was Danzo doing to him?

Kokuro curled up into a ball on the floor. He felt horrible for all the things he had said, but… she just didn't understand. He had lost his family – twice now. He had lost his first lover, and now his best friend. And—and he was being tortured for kami's sake! But why hadn't he just told her? What was holding him back? All he had to do was explain everything to her… and she'd make it right… just like she always did.

Kokuro pulled himself tighter. The end point was, he had acted horribly to Sintary, and it wasn't right. She was all he had left in this world. He couldn't afford to lose her either. He'd make things right… eventually…

"Why do I have to do this again?" Sasuke asked walking with Sintary

Sintary sighed. "Because the nurse put in the request, and the village takes these tests very seriously with the shinobi. Just answer his questions, and it will be over quickly."

Sasuke sighed as well. "This is so lame – and a waste of a day."

Sintary frowned at him. "I specifically picked a date in which you didn't have school – or training scheduled. You're not missing out on anything."

"I could be training by myself." Sasuke said. "I need to get stronger."

"Sasuke, you are strong." She replied.

"Strong-er." Sasuke repeated with emphasis. "I hardly can keep up with you and Kokuro."

The kunoichi shook her head. "Kokuro and I are at an ANBU level. S-rank shinobi. It'll be a while before you can catch up, but I know you will."

"Why couldn't I be born gifted?" He grumbled.

"You are gifted, Sasuke. You are an Uchiha; one of the most gifted clans in Konoha." She countered.

"I'm not gifted," Sasuke insisted. "I haven't even activated my Sharingan."

Sintary stopped in front of him and faced him. "Sasuke Uchiha," she said firmly. "You were named after one of the most powerful shinobi of all times, Sasuke Sarutobi. You were born in the Uchiha clan; again one of the most powerful clans of all time. Your father wouldn't have chosen a strong name for you if he thought for an instance you couldn't live up to its glory. You are less than two months from turning twelve and less than four months from graduating the academy. You are at the top of your class, and you are on the right path to becoming a formidable opponent." She said strongly. "Just because you didn't reach certain milestones earlier in your life, doesn't mean you are going to be an average shinobi. Quit thinking about what you can't do or what you haven't done and focus on what you have accomplished and what strengths you do have for your age. Understood?"

Sasuke listened to her, taking it all in. Although, almost being a teenager, the pep-talk had no effect on him. "Hn. Yeah, whatever." He said and walked past her.

Sintary groaned at that and shook her head. "And why did I offer to take care of him again?" She muttered to herself before turning around and walking after him.

She dropped him off in the room where he'd be meeting Ibiki before heading over to the nurse's station.

"Excuse me?" The young woman asked. "I'd like to see if there's an opening here for a job."

The head nurse rose an eyebrow at her. "There's always an opening for a job. You have medical training?"

Sintary nodded. "Basic levels though; other than my Kekkei Genkai."

She nodded and sighed. "Sadly, most nurses are only at the basic level. We hardly have time to train them; let alone build up."

"I can do more training if you need me to. I would just need references." Sintary offered.

The head medic looked at Sintary again. "That'd be great." She said. "Let's get an examination done to make sure everything's up to date and good."

"No need. I was just in here less than a month ago," Sintary insisted.

"Nonsense. Besides, a lot can happen within a few weeks. All new employees must go through examination and blood work." The nurse said firmly.

Twenty minutes, twelve vials of blood, and a pee test later, the head nurse had everything she needed to see if the kunoichi was in "good health."

"We'll know the results in a couple of days. Check back then." The nurse said as Sasuke came out.

Sintary rubbed the arm she had drawn blood from as she looked at the younger boy. "How'd it go?" She asked.

"Lame. That guy said I was fine enough to become a Genin," Sasuke said with his hands in his pockets.

"Good. Now we can continue training." Sintary said smirking.

Sasuke's eyes lit up with apprehension. "Really?"

Sintary nodded. "Let's go. Training field thirteen."

"Thirteen? I've never heard of that field." Sasuke said pondering.

"It's not open to the younger generations now-a-days," Sintary explained as they walked that way. "It's our training field." As in her – old – team's. "We have a lot of hidden traps and knick-knacks scattered around. It's meant for a team at least Chuunin level – since that's when we devised it – but you and I should do okay in it."

"Oh, we'll do more than okay," Sasuke said with determination.

To say the young student had a few cuts and bruises was an understatement. He had barely survived the old course. Scraps, gashes, bumps, burns, sprains…. He had it all but internal bleeding and broken bones!

The older kunoichi hadn't come up unscathed either, but she only had a few scratches and bruises. She gently carried the younger boy on her bath back to her apartment.

"What the hell were you guys thinking of when you made that thing?" Sasuke mumbled against her shoulder.

"A battlefield. Well, probably more specifically a war zone or the Forest of Death." Sintary said. "Something that would test us every time we went into it. No one came out completely uninjured other than… well," Sintary cut herself off before she could say his name.

She immediately felt Sasuke's demeanor change at the almost-mention-of his brother's name. She hadn't meant anything by it. Itachi was an amazing shinobi. End of story. And he had been her teammate. What was she supposed to do? Not talk about him anymore?

Sintary sighed as she ran a hot bath for Sasuke and pour some oils in it to ease his pain and help the healing of his wounds. She helped get his shirt and shorts off with minimal moving, before leaving him in the bathroom with just his boxers.

"I left out an unscented soap for you to use, but if you'd like a scent they're over here." Sintary said pointing to the cabinet full of soaps. "And then your shampoo-conditioner combo is on the side over there. The water will cause your wounds to sting when you first get in, so just relax until that subsides." She explained trying to make sure she covered everything. "Oh, and it's your turn to choose dinner."

"Onigiri with tomatoes." Sasuke said immediately.

Sintary smiled softly at that. "No problem. They'll be done by the time you're out of the bath." She said.

Closing the door, the young woman headed into the kitchen. She shuffled through her recipes for the right one, and she paused pulling it out.

Her sad eyes reviewed the neat and precise handwriting. He had made sure she had this recipe… he knew she would have taken Sasuke in.

Sintary suddenly felt tears prick her eyes. She hadn't meant to start crying, but after everything she had learned… and knowing her love the way she did… it just made everything he did that much more heartfelt. She felt the tears slide down her face and quickly moved to dry them. She couldn't have Sasuke see her cry. He'd ask why, and well… she couldn't tell him why.

Sintary shook her head to clear her thoughts before she focused in on making the recipe.

The wait for the test results was agonizing.

Sintary often found herself pacing her apartment, or hanging upside down to have the blood run to her head, or doing basic exercises. Just anything to work out the adrenaline.

Never before had she felt so alone, either. Sasuke was at the Academy all day, and often trained after school by himself. And Kokuro…

Sintary shook her head.

'No, I'm not going there,' She thought to herself.

'Why not? He's you're only friend.' The voice commented.

Sintary sighed. "He lost that privilege when he shut me out," she said a loud.

'Real friends don't give up on each other. Guess you're just too weak to follow through.' It piped up.

Sintary narrowed her eyes. "It was his choice, not mine."

'You still walked away.'

She felt like she wanted to scream.

And she heard a scream, but it wasn't her own – it was Kokuro's.

Immediately, she hopped out of her window and onto his balcony. She shoved open the window and jumped down.

"Holy shit," Sintary felt like hurling.

Her comrade was in a pool of his own blood. It looked like one of his wounds had opened up in his sleep, and he had awoken from a nightmare.

"Dammit, Ko!" She hissed and rushed forward.

Upon touching him, the other nin shot her back, knocking her into the wall. The kunoichi groaned, rubbing her head, but got up. She approached him again, this time more calmly.

"Ko, it's me, Sin," she said holding her hands up in a nonthreatening matter.

"My name isn't Ko!" He snarled at her.

Sintary's eyes narrowed. "You're bleeding," she continued. "You need to let me help you, or you are going to die."

"I'll be better off dead than in this hell hole!" He wailed, thrashing, but unable to actually get up.

Sintary saw a syringe in the corner. It looked as if something had dropped in a scramble with Kokuro. She immediately darted for it, and with sharp accuracy, threw it into his arm. In a flash, she was in front of him and used his own frantic nature to push what she hoped was a sedative into him.

She got lucky.

The effects were immediate. His limbs slumped as he looked up at her. The dangerous glint in his eyes ebbed away as realization took over.

"Sin…" he whispered.

"Shh. I'm here. You're safe," she whispered cradling his head.

"Sin…" he started again. "I'm… I'm sorry."

Sintary looked down at him sadly. She couldn't imagine what grueling training they were putting him through, but she believed the pressure was too much for him to bare. Maybe she could speak with the Hokage… Or maybe even Ibiki. If she could prove that this was harming Kokuro, she could have him removed from the ROOT. She didn't care if it was supposed to be the elite of the elite. It was poison for him.

When Kokuro came to, he found himself restraint. Urgently, he pulled against them, only to find his chakra drained. He howled with frustration, awakening the sleep-deprived kunoichi.

"Ko, Ko, shhh. You're okay." She cooed. "Ko, it's me, Sin. You're in Konoha's hospital. You were badly injured from training."

Kokuro blinked a few times as he focused on her. "Sin?"

The girl in question nodded. "It's me."

He glanced around feverishly in panic. "Why am I restrained?" He asked. "And why is my chakra drained?"

Sintary gently began to stroke his scalp, trying to calm him. "When you came to in your apartment, you attacked me because you were panicking. I wasn't sure if you would wake up the same way, so I had them tie you down." She explained calmly. "As for being chakra drained… that's from your training. Your reservoirs were low, and when you used some chakra to shove me, you zapped yourself of your strength. You'll slowly gain them back as you rest."

Kokuro could feel his chest raising and falling rapidly, but as she explained and massaged his scalp, he slowly felt himself calm down.

He wasn't in danger.

He was safe.

Sintary had saved him.

Again.

"Are you going to remain calm?" She asked him.

Kokuro slowly nodded feeling like he could do so. Sintary slowly undid all the restrains and raised his bed so he could sit up.

Slowly, the tension between the two eased up, and they slipped into their normal banter. Kokuro was brought some food to help him regain his strength, and Sintary sat by his side as they talked.

There was a knock at the door, and the head nurse came in.

"Sintary, we have your test results." She said quietly.

"Okay, you can tell me them here," Sintary said nonchalantly.

The nurse cleared her throat a bit and looked at the young woman. "I believe it'd be best discussed in privet."

"You can speak here, in front of Kokuro. I'm not leaving his side even for a second," Sintary said firmly.

The older woman sighed and straightened her spine. "Fine, if you insist." She said and paused.

"Sintary Sacuna, you are pregnant."

Thank you to KnightsRoses, Sweet Petit, arigarciar, Ijustdon'tcare132, KyuubiNoPuma, pika-78, Rose 23527, ILurveManyAnimeBoys, xxRyuu-himexx, nathy13, HonestxxEyes, NinjaChipmunk, PityThoseWhoLiveWithoutLove-95, animefangirl0219, creven16, randomindividual467, darkxion, OrangeBeanGamer, terriblecupcakes732, Integral16, MickyLove, Elizabethcica, KHB123, FailingErin, MaidMaliya, and Johana-98 for following/favorite-ing the story!

A special thanks to ILurveManyAnimeBoys, Rose23527, HonestxxEyes, bunnyguest, and an unknown Guest for their reviews!

I do appreciate all the feedback I can get. Please, please, please leave reviews. It does help me write more when i know my audience is enjoying my story.

Thanks again for reading for a month now!