Back by popular demand… and the fact that I have time to write.
Soda's POV
So… this was how it was going to be. Was Darry always going to be like this… this emotionless blob? I've lost one brother… I don't want to make it two.
It's been a while since…. Since, well the accident. And guess what? Nobody cares. I mean, I care and Darry does too and the gang, I guess, but besides that, nobody cares. Not the soc who killed… him. Not the cops. Nobody.
It sure is hard thinking about…him, Ponyboy. I guess I'll have to get used to using his name. It's harder than I thought.
I miss mom and dad. I've always had. But right now, I miss them more than ever. They'd make it through this hard time with us. Then everything would be all right.
Oh, who am I joking? It would never be all right. Mom and dad or no mom and dad.
Life is pretty much a mess. I wake up, go to work, come, go to sleep. At least I have Steve. Darry had no one anymore.
I think this is harder on Darry than it is on me. He doesn't talk anymore. I mean, he was never a very talkative guy in the first place, but now, it's like he's mute. He used to come home, sit in his favorite chair, and open the newspaper. He'd mutter about some of the articles and ask me or Pony about our day. He doesn't do that anymore. Now, he comes home, sits down, and stares at something. He'll stare at the couch for a couple hours, or he'll go into Pony's and mine bedroom and stare at the bed, or a pile of books. I know what he's thinking when he does that. He's thinking, " Ponyboy was here. He sat here, he slept there, he read those books." I know it's hard for him. It's hard for me too.
I'm getting on with my life now. It's not that I don't miss my brother, because I do. It's just that, Pony's dead and I'm not. I know that he wouldn't want me to be a sulking depressed mess. He'd want me to be happy. I'll never be happy again, I don't think, but at least I can get on with my life now. I wish I could say the same for Darry. I don't think he'll ever be able to get on with his life
I know I'll never be able to put my brother or my mom or my dad behind me, but right now, it's easier to deal with. I can think about them now without crying. I know that's what they would want. Maybe, I could make Darry see that.
Sometimes, when Darry's really sad, I sit down and tell him that Pony and mom and dad are happy together in heaven, waiting for the day when we can join them.
" We'll be a family together then," I tell him. Sometimes, he smiles or nods, but most of the time he just stares ahead, as if I hadn't said anything.
Darry works hard now. He manages his grief through his work. It's like he says to himself, " If I can roof thirteen houses this week, then everything can be all right."
I guess I sort of did that too. I used to stay at the gas station from open till close. Now, I don't do that anymore. I take days off and enjoy my life, just waiting for the day I can finally join my family in heaven.