Now, it was time for Esther and Jack to learn to move on together.
"Does the pain ever stop?"
Jack looked at his daughter, surprised to hear her speak after a long silence between them, each staring at the grave of their respective child – taken long before their time.
"No," he said simply. "If it does then I'd say there's a problem. But you learn to live with it…To let others in and the memory rest. It took me a long time with Charley – in some ways I still haven't recovered."
Esther smiled wanly at her father, her eyes telling of her sorrow, "I know. Sometimes, Abby gets visions of your pain. Just waves of pain and anger. That's why Dr. McLory prescribed the anti-depressants that she refuses to take – and the panic attack pills that Mom makes her take."
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you guys," Jack whispered, so quietly Esther almost didn't hear him.
A solitary tear made it's way down Esther's cheek; "I'm sorry, too. Everyone's so sorry about everything. Why can't we just forget the mistakes of the past sixteen years and start fresh? It would be so much better if we can just start anew."
The Air Force General heard the wisdom behind her words; unfortunately he also heard the child-like longing in them. Gently he put his arm on her shoulder, comforting her as little as he could. "I'm not so sure any of us can forget. At least not until Pete's gone for good, Esther."
"Pete." Esther said it softly, as the name itself still gave her pain. She looked down at her hands picking at imaginary loose threads on her skirt. "When's the trial?"
Jack sighed airily, not wanting to bring her into this but knowing that it was Pete who had brought her in. "He plead no contest. That means no trial, but there will be a hearing to decide what the appropriate punishment is for his 'actions'."
"I want to testify." Her father was shocked beyond words that she would willingly submit herself to seeing her tormenter again, albeit in a courtroom with at least fifty people there devoted to keeping her safe. "They need to hear my story, and they need to hear what I want done."
Jack knew that his blood and Sam's flowed too strong in Esther's veins for the girl to back down. "Alright…I'll see what I can do to convince your mother."
"Can I hold him?" Esther asked quietly as Caroline rocked little Adam Ferretti to sleep after a nice meal a few days later.
Caroline looked a little hesitant, but when she looked at Jack to get his opinion he only nodded. "Sure," she said, equally as quiet, "Just don't drop him."
Esther smiled sadly at that, but when she took her baby cousin into her arms, Caroline could see that the young girl was made to be a mother.
Everyone watched silently as Esther held the small babe in her loving arms, her siblings and mother remembering the other small child she had held in her arms. When the child stirred in his sleep, Lou put a hand on Caroline's shoulder; he wanted to see what his young niece would do in the situation and the man was not disappointed. Esther soon had the child sleeping soundly again.
When her back could take no more of the stretching that it was going through, Esther passed the infant back to his mother with a small smile. "He looks a lot like Destiny."
JJ smiled down at his small cousin, going to stand next to their aunt, "Yes, he does. Must be the O'Neill in them."
"Yeah," Sam whispered, "Must be." She got up to go outside on the porch, no one following her right away. Jack rose from his favorite chair, preparing to follow her when Abby stopped him.
"Be careful, Dad. She's really angry and afraid right now," Abby's blue eyes bored into her father's brown ones. "She'll probably say something she doesn't mean."
"Just don't take everything she says literally," JJ clarified, nodding his permission for their father to follow their mother.
Caroline watched her brother leave the room before turning back to his children. "What was that about?"
Esther shook her head slightly; "Mom's been really sensitive about…certain things since Destiny died last year."
"Oh."
Ferretti desperately tried to think up a way to get everyone's minds off the conversation they knew was taking place outside. With a grin, he finally came up with one.
"Do you guys want to hear about what your dad did when I asked him if I could marry Caroline?" Abby's eyes went wide while her imagination conjured up vivid images of their Uncle Lou being tortured.
JJ grinned in response, "Yeah, sure, you betcha."
"It was so much more than you think it was to me, Sam," Jack said plainly as he came up beside her. Sam was sitting down on one of his lawn chairs, her knees drawn up to her chest, her cheek lying haphazardly on her bent legs.
She closed her eyes against the sudden onslaught of tears and pain, trying to keep a rein on her emotions so JJ wouldn't notice too much. "And yet…you let me go."
Jack sat down next to her, close but not touching. "After…after you…left that day, I went over to your house to see if you were there." His pain filled eyes met locked onto her face as one of his hands went up to brush a stray lock of hair out of her eyes before retreating to his lap again. "You're front door was unlocked…and you weren't inside…The Volvo was gone, and I knew that I was only minutes too late."
Sam's eyes met his finally, "I'm sorry that I hurt you."
"Hurt." Jack looked down at his hands, a cynical smirk on his face. "If only you had just hurt me physically, Sam. I was going through your house, about to leave when an envelope on the floor caught my attention – it was the file from the hospital telling you that you were pregnant."
He shook his head at Sam's small gasp of disbelief. "For four years I thought that if you wanted me in their lives – in your life – you would come back. But you never did. I married Kerry to take my mind off you and try to fill that ravine you left in my heart. It didn't work. Our marriage of three years was botched from the beginning."
Sam's tears resurfaced and her head fell back down to her knees. "I screwed up, Jack. I'm so sorry." Her sobbing form was soon safe within Jack's arms. He never wanted to let her go, as she held on for dear life, crying every single tear she hadn't let herself shed over the man now holding her.
"Shh, it's okay now. I'm here now. Shh," Jack cooed as the two rocked gently back and forth on the edge of Jack's seat.
When Sam had finally calmed down enough to let go of Jack, she sat back a little, putting a little space between him and her. Jack kept on thinking over what Esther had told him at the cemetery, but he wasn't exactly sure how he could bring either of her points up to Sam. Especially while she was so vulnerable.
Biting the bullet, he just started talking. "I think we should start over."
Sam's look was priceless, "We have three children. There is no reset button on life."
Jack shook his head, "That's not what I meant. We should start over with this relationship. Forget all the past actions that have hurt both of us more than words can express, and just start over again. What do you think?"
Sam's face lit up with her mega-watt smile that she hadn't used in years, "I think I'd like that a lot, Jack. A whole lot."
Jack did something he'd been thinking about for years: he kissed Sam. It was passionate and sweet and everything they'd both missed in their long years apart. "Oh, God, I've missed you," he whispered as they pulled apart, their faces still close.
"I've missed you, too. Oh, man, Jack. I love you so much. I always have."
A lone tear tricked down Sam's face, and when Jack felt the wetness, he opened his eyes and kissed away all of her tears. "I love you too, Sam. And if we're going to start over, I want to do this right."
Sam's eyes opened and she watched him closely, "What do you mean?"
"Do you want to go out to dinner with me tomorrow night? Just the two of us?"
Her smile returned, that time as her very own version of the O'Neill smirk. "Why, General O'Neill, are you asking me out on a date?"
Jack's nervousness showed as he responded, "Yes?"
"I'd love to go."
A/N: So? This is the last chapter until next Sunday at the earliest - I EXPECT LOTS OF REVIEWS!