Written for the 20 AUs community on livejournal. Five timeline-deviation AUs; brief explanations of these, as well as the rest of the twenty ficlets, can be found on my website. Spoilers for much of the second manga series.
And if we did
subtitled: three agreements that were never made
i.
"Think," Baldr says, "of the possibilities. Of what our futures can become. We can do it, you know, you and me."
"And if we did?" The question is more detached than disinterested, and Baldr smiles, says: "We'll see when we get there, won't we."
"Yes," Loki says, finally turning to face Baldr. "I suppose we will." His gaze is fixed on somewhere very far away, before it refocuses, and meets Baldr's, and recognises the bright gleam of ambition; Loki laughs, unsurprised, and Baldr echoes it after a second's pause. They exchange smiles, carefully, in a mutual recognition of distrust.
ii.
When Baldr speaks, the shadows shrink back in Odin's hall. Baldr's voice is bright, and his words clear, and Odin listens and wonders and lets suspicion spread its poison through him.
When Baldr is done with speaking he waits, smiling like summer, and the light in Odin's hall is sharp with promise. And finally Odin beckons Baldr to him, and whispers something into his son's ear; and Baldr begins, very softly, to laugh.
iii.
The formality of this meeting is awkward for a friendship that runs blood-deep. Loki waits at the foot of Odin's throne, and listens to how the silence is doing nothing to dispel the unease in the air.
"My son," Odin says finally, "is worrying me."
There is caution in Loki's bright eyes, as he looks up. "And what would you have me do, Odin? I barely know Baldr."
"But you've seen the change in him, surely. There is bitterness in him that I never thought he could know, and one hears things; one sees things that one would rather not believe, yet cannot doubt. I worry for what he can and might do --"
"I'm not sure I understand," Loki says, because he suspects that he does and does not believe it; this is Odin without his usual measured logic.
"I have reason to believe Baldr is dangerous. I have reasons for this, Loki --" and Odin looks at Loki, and Loki smiles back out of reflex, unconvinced "-- and it's him or you, him or myself; and there are ways one can deal with danger, but the cleanest way --"
"I know the cleanest way," Loki says, his voice cold, incredulous. "And if we did -- ?"
"And if you did, Loki," Odin says, with the gentle emphasis of the hangman straightening the noose.
A pause. Then a smile flashes across Loki's face, sharp and unpleasant like sunlight on a stained blade, and for a moment Odin wonders if he is trusting the weaker of his ties. But the moment passes, and Loki is himself again: the blue of his eyes muted as he nods, very slowly, still holding Odin's gaze.