EIGHT

"I wish I had never taken this assignment," Elbert said miserably. "I didn't know witches could be such nice people. Most demons aren't as nice. I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble."

"I guess it's not your fault," said Piper. "You were just doing what bureaucracy demons do."

"There must be something we can do," said Paige. "There are always options."

"I don't know what we can do," said Cole. "Bureaucracy demons are some of the most single-minded demons in the underworld. It can be both a curse and a blessing."

"Maybe I could help," said Elbert. "I could talk to Uncle Source. Maybe have him get Tazak to back off."

"Somehow I don't think that's going to happen," said Leo. "In all likelihood he'd help Tazak get the Book of Shadows."

"Besides," said Cole, "after what you did to him I don't think he's very likely to even listen to you."

"What he did to the Source?" questioned Phoebe. "Just what did you do to him?"

"It's been nearly five hundred years," said Elbert. "I'm sure he's forgotten about that by now."

"He still won't let you back in the underworld," said Cole. "You know as well as I do he can hold a grudge for a very long time."

"Just what did Elbert do to the Source that was so bad?" Paige asked.

"The way the story goes," said Cole, "when the Source had his ascension ceremony he opted for a traditional ceremony. In those days the leaders of the demonic hierarchy presented the new Source with a fireball or energy ball as a sign of loyalty and fealty. Also, his closest male relatives were present at the ceremony."

"Don't tell us Elbert lost control of his fireball like he did earlier," said Piper.

"They're hot," said Elbert. "Besides, it was an accident. I'm sure he understands that."

"He banished you from the underworld proper," Cole said dryly. "The Source forbad Elbert from ever setting foot in the main underworld ever again. He can go to the outer fringes where bureaucracy demons live but he has to avoid any contact with upper level demons."

"I'm sure he's recanted that by now," said Elbert. "No one can stay mad forever."

"You set fire to his robes," said Cole.

"Those fireballs are hot," Elbert said again pitifully.

"According to the story," continued Cole, "when the hierarchy presented their fireballs to the Source Elbert lost control of his. It rolled across the floor of the ascension chamber and set fire to the Source's robes. Then he tried to help put out the fire. Except the fireball just continued to roll around the floor. Within a few moments most of the demonic hierarchy had their robes set on fire. If it wasn't for a water demon that happened to be in attendance Elbert might have vanquished the entire demonic hierarchy."

"Way to go, Elbert," said Paige. "Not even we have come that close."

"Anyway," said Cole, "I doubt if the Source would even talk to you, Elbert. And Leo is right. If he finds out what's going on he'd be more likely to help Tazak than stop him. Going to the Source isn't an option."

"It was just a thought," said Elbert. "I guess I won't get my promotion now. Well, I knew it was a long shot. But I figured it was worth a shot."

"We're sorry about that," said Phoebe. "You aren't like any other demon we've ever met. I'm sorry we couldn't help you out but giving you the Book of Shadows is just out of the question."

"I guess the other demons are right," said Elbert dejectedly. "I'm just not good for anything. I only had one job to do. Get the Book of Shadows and I get a promotion and I couldn't even do that."

"Elbert," said Paige thoughtfully, "what did Tazak tell you? About getting the Book of Shadows?"

"Just what I've told you," said Elbert. "If I could get him the Book of Shadows he'd give me the promotion I told you about."

"What exactly did he say?" Paige asked.

"Paige, what are you getting at?" asked Piper.

"Hang on a second," said Paige. "I need to know exactly what Tazak told Elbert."

"'Elbert,' he said. 'If you can get the book I'll promote you to Assistant Director of Procurement of Non-Magical Tomes for the Underworld Library, Mortal Realm Branch. You'll have proven you're worthy of the promotion so get the book and the promotion is yours.'"

"And that's it?" Paige asked. "That's exactly what he said?"

"Word for word," said Elbert. "Believe me I remember every word. No one has ever put any trust in me before. It's not something I'm likely to forget."

"Cole," said Paige, "you said bureaucracy demons are sticklers for the rules."

"Yes," said Cole. "It's what defines them. Just as it defines any bureaucracy. Rules and regulations are all they are concerned with."

"Can they be trusted?" Paige asked. "I mean do they keep their word?"

"Of course," said Elbert. "A bureaucracy demon is worthless if his word can't be trusted."

"So if Elbert completes his assignment," said Paige, "then Tazak would have to keep his word and give Elbert the promotion."

"Of course," said Cole. "In fact Tazak is even a more stickler for the rules than regular bureaucracy demons. He's one of the oldest and highest-level bureaucracy demons. It's his job to make sure that those under his rule follow all the rules and regulations. If anyone would keep his word it would be Tazak."

"Well then," said Paige smiling, "I think we may just have a way out of this. A way to get Elbert his promotion and still protect the Book of Shadows from Tazak at the same time."

"What are you thinking?" Phoebe asked.

"Bureaucracies and them being sticklers for the rules," said Paige. "That's what I'm thinking."