"Parody – the Story"- by Hoogiman

Chapter Two- Murder Mystery

"Smashers, here is your well-deserved vacation!" said Master Hand, pointing at an island from a boat that everybody was sitting on.

Everybody cheered.

The boat docked at the resort island. It was beautiful, full of lush, beaches with golden sand, a green forest that had birds soaring over the canopy, and an elegant building in the middle that didn't seem to touch nature and any of its' beauties.

(Insert more descriptive ramblings that don't actually help the development of characters or the storyline, but make the author look professional and make an instant review machine.)

"You will all have your own spacious villa, which will be a gateway to the near luscious beach!" said Master Hand.

"Wow, Master Hand," said Link. "This seems so out of character for you! This is so nice! You must be joking, or secretly want to pick us all off one-by-one, and the characters of your choice get to live!"

"Y… no… this will be a permanent investment after you stay here, and will be open to the public!" said Master Hand.

"How long will we stay here?" asked Zelda.

"You will all stay here for two months, but I must warn you something," said Master Hand, with everybody leaning in closer. "This resort is for privacy, and for limited connections with the outside world, all of you Smashers are allowed a total of one call a day. You will have to choose when this call is right, and there will be dire consequences for the person who makes the second call, or any call after that."

Some Smashers talked to each other and started showing signs of confusion.

"Is this some sick reality TV show?" asked Ness, slightly angrily.

"No," replied Master Hand.

"Oh boy, I'm gonna be on TV!" said Peach, happily.

"He said no," whispered Bowser.

"I'm gonna create a spin-off TV show from this where I'm a retired acrobat having flashbacks about my topsy-turvy career!" announced Peach. "Oh, and there's songs too!"

(Slab in some random copyrighted song lyrics, make it italic, and say how it represents the mood and tone of the story.)

"Okay," said Master Hand. "I'll pick you up on this boat in two months! Have fun!"

Master Hand went away on the boat, cackling evilly.

"I find Master Hand a very honest and trustworthy person!" said Peach, sincerely.

All of the Smashers stood on the beach awkwardly.

"Can I take off my leash for a toilet break?" asked Popo, almost suffocating on the collar that Nana put around his neck.

Baa, baa, black sheep…

"Two minutes," said Nana, angrily.

Popo rushed off to a nearby tree, glancing behind to see if Nana would take her eye off him. But she didn't take her eye off him, so he couldn't make a quick escape from her.

Have you any wool…

"Get off this island," whispered a voice nearby.

"What?" said Popo, glancing around.

"Get off this island, Popo," said the voice, anxiously. "Bad things are going to happen."

Yes sir, yes sir…

"Are you trying to scare me? Because it's not working," said Popo, bravely.

"Just kidding," said Young Link, laughing from the bushes.

"I knew it was you," joked Popo.

A spear narrowly missed Popo's head, and hit Young Link, killing him.

Popo turned around, to see Bowser holding a javelin.

"Uh… this isn't what it looks like!" said Bowser, scratching his head. "You see… this is a javelin… and a spear hit Young Link… I really didn't kill him."

"Oh," said Popo.

A javelin hit Popo, killing him.

Everybody stared at Bowser.

"Uh… this really isn't what it looks like… the pile of javelins that I have here… are mine… but the javelin… that killed Popo… was not mine…" said Bowser.

Bowser laughed unconvincingly.

"Let's kill him!" screamed Link, charging towards Bowser, along with a lot of other smashers.

A javelin hit Bowser, killing him.

Multiple javelins hit all of the uninteresting characters.

"Yay! I'm still alive… which makes me interesting!" announced Peach.

A javelin hit Peach, killing her.

"Who keeps on throwing these javelins?" asked Link. "I've got to tell that person about javelin safety!"

"Maybe the javelins were thrown… not on purpose!" announced Mario.

Everybody gasped.

"No really, Sherlock," said Roy.

"Haha," cackled Marth, wheezing in a drunken state. "Oh… Roy… you're so witty… and silly!"

Roy collapsed on the ground, and then got hit by a javelin.

Pikachu ran in from the jungle.

"Pi ii Piika ii Pika Chu Chuu Piika ii Chu piika chu ii piika chu pi piika!" screamed Pikachu, with a spear on his tail.

"I think Pikachu's trying to tell us something!" said Mario.

Everybody gasped.

"No really, Sherlock," said Marth.

"Haha," cackled Roy, wheezing in a drunken state. "Oh… Marth… you're so witty… and silly!"

"Now… for the immunity task!" announced Geoff.

Everybody stared at Geoff, angrily.

"I hate you!" screamed Ganondorf. "You made all of those people write all of those survivor fanfics… and only one of them is good… and that's on my favourite stories list!"

Ganondorf picked up a javelin, and threw it at Geoff, killing him.

Ganondorf sighed, smiling.

"I think he killed him…" said Mario.

Everybody gasped.

"No really, Sherlock," said Roy.

"Haha," cackled Peach, wheezing in a drunken state. "Oh… Roy… you're so witty… and silly!"

"Peach… you're dead!" said Roy.

"Oh," frowned Peach.

Peach died again.

"I think we need to find out who is throwing these javelins!" said Mario.

Everybody gasped.

"No really, Sherlock," said Marth.

"Haha," cackled Peach, wheezing in a drunken state. "Oh… Marth… you're so witty… and silly!"

Marth stabbed Peach with multiple javelins, killing her (REALLY!1).

"Is there a mystery here?" asked Velma.

"DAMN ALL OF THESE NON-NINTENDO CAMEOS!111" screamed Ganondorf, uprooting a tree, and killing the mystery machine, as well as a few of the other Smashers.

"I think you killed some of the Smashers…" said Mario.

Silence.

"Including Marth and Roy…" said Mario.

"So now it's me…" said Link, "…Mario, Ganondorf, Yoshi, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch still alive!"

"It's funny," said Yoshi. "Usually in these stories, I'm one of the first people to get killed off- which means… arararararararar…"

Yoshi realised that he was about to be killed off.

Yoshi got killed by a javelin.

"So now it's me," said Link, "Mario, Ganondorf, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch still alive! So who killed all of these people?"

"It can't be me…" said Mario. "…and it is not Link, we saw Ganondorf the whole time, so he couldn't have killed us, so it is between Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch!"

Luigi killed Mr. Game and Watch. With a javelin.

"Okay, it was Luigi!" said Mario, angrily.

Mario picked up a javelin and killed Luigi.

"Why did you do it?" asked Mario.

Luigi did not respond, as he was dead.

Master Hand came back on the boat.

"Boy, that was a quick two months!" said Link. "Seeing that we did not sleep, drink or eat!"

Link, Ganondorf and Mario departed on the boat, leaving the island resort behind.