Might be a b/f shipper if i continue the next chapter Hints of one to come, tell me if i should continue. or just leave it alone.
I do not own any of the buffy the vampire slayer characters I am just borrowing them they are owned by Joss whedon.
I'm running away, running away from a kiss that I started.
But I was confused, damn that Buffy Summers. I can't figure her out,
that's just a part of why I love her. It had started to rain a few seconds after
turning tail and running away from B. Her expression after that kiss we had shared,
Was like a bolt of lightening, going to my heart. Making me wonder what was I running from. From Buffy or myself. In that instant I'm not really sure....
My leather pants you can hear if you're close enough throughout the night, like a wet tennis shoe walking on linoleum, I can hear my heart pounding through my chest like a wild animal,
The intensity of that kiss, still scorching my body, It's like that hot burning feeling when you're about to have an orgasm and you're clit is racing forward with the pounding of you're heart beat.
My fears....they became so adamant to me during that one moment that I heard those soft lyrics,
coming across the night sky. Fear that's the one that one day I hope to quench, like a thirsty man dying for water. I'm running to where?, it reminds me of when B found out, found out why I was here, that I needed help she came into my apartment that day. She was wearing a black shirt with pink flowers etched onto her shirt with a silver necklace, a brown leather jacket thrown over it, with some dark blue jeans and was still looking good back then even though me and her didn't get along I had no problem saying she was a babe. (Faith: so what brings you to the poor side of town? Buffy: cloven guy goes by the name of kakistos. Faith: what do you know about kakistos? Buffy: That he's here were not happy to see old friends are we) Man did she not know how much that scared me to find out he was here, I had thought that she had come to tell me to get out of town to be that bitch that I had given her nickname for. Boy was I wrong. (Buffy: what he do to you? Faith: it's what I did to him alright, Buffy: And what was that? .....faith you came here for a reason I can help Faith: you can mind you're own business I'm the one who can handle this.) From right there I knew that she cared and would help me, but no one had helped me before except my watcher who I failed to protect, I didn't need anyone. At least that's what I thought but looking into her eyes for those seconds telling her I could handle this, well I just wanted to break down everywhere I went he followed and I had thought that she would help, and I could just leave. But looking into her eyes I realized Yes, I wanted her help but maybe something more, and that she maybe just maybe did care even though we had just met. ( Buffy: yeah you're a real bad ass when it comes to packing what was that you said about my problem got to deal and move on oh have the moving part on right here what about dealing is that just something you're going to dumb on me?) She really came through for me in the end, saving my ass and after that we had the bonding thing down a little better.
I wake up in the morning put on my face the one that's gonna get me through another day,
doesn't really matter how I feel inside this life is like a game sometimes.
A game I thought I knew how to play. It didn't matter how I felt because the fear over took me there and had again. And it's funny that we both look at this as a game. Guess that's my fault. But it's all coming together and all falling apart. I want her I always have not just want though, I need to be with her. Laying besides her, seeing her every morning, receiving one of her smiles that light up the room. But who ever said I would get it, this very conversation in my head reminds me of that song....in the cemetery It just fits with us. Not that if we were together that would be our song, would we even have a song? Besides the point "sighs."
Then you came around me, the walls just disappeared nothing to surround me keep me from my fears. I'm unprotected see how I've opened up you've made me trust.
And it's true, she saw the real me. Even when I had tried to act like a bad ass, I'm not saying that I'm not hell no but a real hard ass when we first met. She found out my fears so easily and swept them aside. It's funny right now I am no where near home, and I seem to be heading in a direction so familiar but I can't place it. She's made me feel things I never thought I would and had promised to myself that I wouldn't. But this thing called love that I feel for her but yet won't say is so pure it scares even me. Not to mention had I said that to Buffy, before I pushed her away, trying not to be one of her charity cases which I found out in the end I wasn't for her or so I think. I sensed her that night at Angels. She gave me her boyfriend to help me....
I've never felt like this before I'm naked around you does it show? You see right through me and I can't hide I'm naked around you and it feels so right.
For once if I ever got up the guts, I could be myself. And I believe she would accept that... She could see right through me, but sometimes she would say the wrong things, not that what she said was wrong in a way it just was the wrong thing to say to me.
Trying to remember why I was afraid to be myself and let the covers fall away guess i never had someone like you. To help me fit in my skins.
And thats the final key, I was afraid to be myself truly, but she got me. And I realize that I am at Buffy's house standing outside in the rain under the tree staring up at her window. And it only feels so right being so close to her. How I got here I don't know. And if this is even the right time I don't know but even though we are enemies we are both slayers and maybe this slayer made the wrong choice joining the bad guys...I don't even know what I am doing but I just know I am climbing up Buffy's house and going to be going into her room for a talk startling her or not... will see how this turns out.