WARNING: You may need a box of tissues with you!
A/N: I think you guys are going to love this chapter because I liked it and I think it's very good but then I am incredibly biased, it being my story and all, but I promise it is a chapter full of sadness, tender moments, etc.
Rest in Peace (Chapter 7)
Everyone was gathered at St. Joseph's Parish in Tree Hill for Olivia's memorial service. There were people from the hospital, where Olivia worked as a Physician's Assistant and where she had spent her last days. Brooke Davis was among the nurses who had helped take care of Olivia and make her feel comfortable. There were people from high school as well as university. There were old bosses and neighbours. There was her loving boyfriend, Derek Smith as well as all of her siblings. He had nothing against her and even thought she was a nice girl, he didn't really get to know Olivia James. He was there for one James in particular and that was Olivia's baby sister, Haley.
Haley had shown strength and wisdom beyond her years as she put aside all of her doubts and beliefs and helped her sister go to that better place that everyone talked about but had never actually been to. Nathan's heart had broken for her but at the same time, he had felt immense pride that his old girlfriend had such a good heart to be able to do something so brave.
/Flashback/
"I think you're really brave," Nathan said to Haley as they lay in bed the night before. Haley had stayed with him the last two days. As the executor of Olivia's will, Haley had been left in charge of Olivia's funeral arrangement and dealing with her estate.
"Hmm?" she asked, resting her chin on his chest and looking up at him in wonder.
"To help someone the way you helped Olivia. It must have been horrifying for you but you did it anyways. I don't know if I could do that," he said. Haley smirked and looked up at him.
"You could," she said softly. He smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" he asked. Haley shook her head.
"Nowhere near ready," Haley replied. His brow furrowed.
"Things aren't in order for the service?" he asked in alarm. Haley chuckled as she shook her head.
"No, everything's ready," she replied.
"Then, why did you say you weren't ready?" he asked.
"I thought you meant emotionally ready," Haley replied. He nodded and kissed her forehead. She pulled her left arm out from under the covers and draped it along his chest. He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips and started kissing her fingers. "I thought I could do it, but now I'm not so sure."
"You thought you could do what?" he asked.
"Say goodbye to her. I-I don't know if I can," she said. Her voice was breaking and he felt her tears drop onto his skin. He pulled her tighter against him.
"You can't do it alone," he said. Haley froze and looked up at him. Her eyes were full of wondering. He could see the question in them and he just smirked. "I'll be there. I'm not going anywhere."
"I love you," Haley said. Nathan froze as he looked down at her. Haley's face remained unchanged. There was still wonder in her beautiful hazel eyes. She didn't seem fazed at all and he knew why; things with them had always been complicated, but their feelings were always very simple.
A lot of people these days spouted words of love as if it were slang. They had no idea what it really was and the actual depth of what an emotion like love was. It was so much more than slang or just a way of telling someone you cared about him or her. It was a way of communicating the feeling of what it was like to completely and truly adore someone. Nathan and Haley were in love in high school and it was real as well as mind-blowing. So when they announced their feelings, it was a big deal because they both knew what the word "love" really meant. "I love you too," he said.
/End of Flashback/
Now it was Derek's turn to get up and say a few words about Olivia. He seemed angry and devastated at the same time. He walked up and rested his head on the podium for a minute, cleared his throat and sighed. "I don't really know how to do this. Um, I'm not very good at expressing my emotions, let alone expressing them in public," he said. This got a few soft chuckles from the rest of the mourners. "I loved Olivia James with all my heart. I wanted to marry her and have children with her. She's the best thing that ever happened to a guy like me." Nathan nodded in understanding as he felt that Haley had had the same effect on him.
"Many of you know that I was against taking her off of life support. I was very rude and very forceful with my opinion against the one person who saw just how much she was really suffering. The one person who put me in my place as only a sister could," Derek said, looking at Haley who nodded and smirked at him. "Wherever Olivia is now, I hope that she is happy. I will miss her every day for the rest of my life but I'm glad that she's finally not suffering. At the end, she had a very peaceful outlook and I can only hope that when I go, I'll be as brave as she was." He walked down the long stairs onto the small platform, past the rest of the mourners waiting in line and hugged Haley as she got up to speak. She walked up the podium and looked at everyone.
"Olivia James was a great physician's assistant, a great person with a loving and caring spirit that touched everyone. But most of all, she was my big sister. When we were growing up, many of the others picked up on me. There was a difference of four years between me and Taylor, the second youngest. There was a fourteen year difference between Olivia and me but that didn't seem to interfere with the fact that we were really close. When I was seven, I would tell her all about how I hated boys, loved barbie dolls and how the class hamster, Spot, was doing. My other siblings laughed at me and told me that I needed to grow up or not to bother them, but not Liv," Haley said, swallowing the lump in her throat. She stopped for a minute and took a deep breath.
"Olivia has always been very supportive of me, especially in music. When I got a chance to go on tour, even though she was in the hospital, she demanded that I go and if I didn't, she threatened to refuse to see me when I tried to visit her," Haley said, which got a chuckle from everyone. "She would call me and tell me everytime she heard a song of mine on the radio or I sent her a song that I had just finished recording. She demanded front-row tickets to every concert I played in the area and at the end of the show, she would sneak backstage and even though one time, her favourite artist, Jessica Harp, was standing not three feet away, she ran right past her, snuck up behind me and scare the hell out of me when she would put her hands on my shoulders and say hello which she knew always freaked me out." Everyone burst out laughing. Even Nathan knew that that was something Olivia would do.
"And I loved her for it," Haley said softly. Instead of going to sit down in the pew with him, Haley sat at the organ. Nathan wasn't sure she would be able to get through an entire song as there were already tears drenching her face as she held a tissue to her eyes, which besides smudging her waterproof mascara wasn't really doing much. She began playing and then started to sing.
/ Na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
I miss you
Miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh, it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day
You slipped away
Was the day
I found it won't be the same
Oh
Na, na
Na, na, na, na, na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Good-bye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Oooh
I hope you can hear me
Cause I remember it clearly
The day
You slipped away
Was the day
I found it won't be the same
Oh
I've had my wakeup
Won't you wake up?
I keep asking why
And I can't it
It wasn't fake, it
It happened
You passed by
Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere you're not coming back
The day
You slipped away
Was the day
I found it won't be the same
No
The day
You slipped away
Was the day
That I found it won't be the same
Oh
Na, na
Na, na, na, na ,na
I miss you/A week later…
Haley had her things packed and took one last look around her hotel room and sighed. She walked down the stairs and put her things in the trunk of the cab and got in the backseat of the cab. The cab driver drove her to Nathan's apartment building. Haley sat there for a few minutes, dreading what she was about to do, but knowing she had to do it. She took a deep breath and opened the door and walked into the building, into the elevator and onto Nathan's floor. She got to his door and knocked on it a few times. There was a bit of shuffling as she heard him scrambling to put things away and tidy up. She smirked at the predictability of it. He opened the door a few seconds later and smiled at her. "Hey," he said breathlessly. Haley walked in and looked around. She looked at the floor and pointed.
"You missed a spot," she teased. He laughed and came over to her. She walked away from him and sat on the couch. She could feel his face falter as he followed her and sat down right beside her.
"Is everything ok?" he asked softly and hesitantly. She shook her head. He put his hand under her chin and lifted her head so that she would meet his gaze. "What's wrong? You can tell me."
"I'm leaving," she said. He smirked and chuckled. He shook his head in disbelief but then he noticed her serious expression. His face fell and he narrowed his eyes.
"You're leaving?" he asked. He sighed. "Again."
"We both knew this was coming, Nathan," she reminded him.
"I didn't think you would actually leave, especially after the last few days we've spent together," he admited.
"Believe me when I say that I don't want to leave," she said.
"Then why are you?" he asked.
"Because I have to, Nathan. We've already tried this and it didn't work," she said.
"That was in high school, Haley," he pointed out.
"Yeah, it was. When things were simpler and it still didn't work. Now we have careers and separate lives," she said.
"I want you, Hales. I don't care about playing pro. I can always get a job as a coach," he said. Haley shook her head.
"No, Nathan. I am not going to be the one who holds you back from your dream. You have a talent and you need to use it," she said. He sighed as he realized that she was throwing his own words back in his face. The same words he had used to tell her to go on tour.
/Flashback/
"You're an incredible musician, Hales," 17-year-old Nathan Scott told his girlfriend. Haley's face crumpled.
"I want to be with you, Nathan, all the time," Haley said, coming over to him and wrapping her arms around him. He responded and pulled her against him.
"No, you have to do this. I can't believe I'm saying this but I want you to go," he said.
"But if I go, it means leaving you," she said. He cupped her face and forced her to look at him.
"I love you and I want the best for you. I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of pursuing your dreams because I know you would never ask me to walk away from basketball. You've lived your whole life being the dependable and reliable one. Now you have the chance to do something for yourself and I promise you that the world won't end if you do," he said.
"I love you too," she said. He kissed her forehead and kissed her lightly on the lips. He ran his thumb over the smooth skin on her cheek and brushed away a few tears.
"You have a talent and you need to use it," he said and kissed her again.
/End of Flashback/
He nodded. "It was good seeing you again," Haley said, standing up and heading towards the door.
"Yeah, you too," he said softly. Haley ran over to him and threw her arms around him.
"I'm going to miss you, Nathan Scott," she said. Then, she kissed him deeply. He tightened his arms that were now around her.
"I'll miss you too, Haley," he said. But she was already gone.