Title: Of Frogs and True Love

Rated: PG-13

Author: Etoile

Email- Buffy/Spike. During As You Were. Buffy breaks up with Spike before Riley and Sam leave. The actual "doctor" was the Troika. They strike back at the Scoobies after Buffy blew up the eggs. Please review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sunnydale or anyone that lives there. They all belong to Joss Whedon.

A/N: Sorry for the wait but school beckoned. I just finished the last of my tests and I don't have another one for about a week and a half. So, I hope to get chapter seven up by Sunday.

Chapter Six

Buffy knew the imminent conversation would be hard. She couldn't remember the last time her and Angel had a conversation of any real significance. The time at the motel after Willow brought her back definitely didn't count. And the last time she had seen him before then was after her mother's funeral. They had sat on a hill and said a lot of meaningless words to each other. Well, maybe she was being unfair. They weren't necessarily meaningless. At the time they had comforted her. But, in essence, those words were futile. She and Angel hadn't had a real relationship, friends or otherwise, with each other since he left for Los Angeles. Buffy wondered why he was so upset now. And why he was acting like he had some kind of a claim to her. He sure hadn't mentioned it the past three years.

Three years, she thought to herself. It's been three years. Buffy hardly remembered who she was three years ago. The year she blew up the school. The year Angel left her. She remembered who Angel was three years ago. She was sure he still had an image of high school Buffy in his head, too. He didn't know this Buffy standing before him. And she didn't know him anymore either.

"Angel," began Buffy tentatively.

He rushed in during the slight pause she gave. "You couldn't have me so you decided to throw yourself at the first vampire around?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes and tightened her fists as a hot surge of anger ran through her. She really didn't know this guy. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

To his credit, Angel looked properly apologetic. He held up his hands in surrender, looked to the sky, and shook his head. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, I know. I don't know what's up with me."

Buffy cooled down only a little as she huffed, "Yeah, neither do I. But you need to get a major handle on that before I get mad."

Angel smiled amusedly. "You look like you're already mad."

"Well, it was a really stupid thing to say," Buffy said evenly, the appearance of a warmer Angel tempering her attitude.

"Yeah…sorry…"

There was another awkward pause. Buffy sighed inwardly; she had about had her fill of those today. This already seemed like the dreary motel meeting. They were out here, supposedly to talk, weren't they? And yet, no words. They were avoiding the issue at hand and it was painfully obvious. What happened to us? Buffy thought. We used to talk…

But did they? Buffy thought about it. How long had it taken for Angel to tell her he was a vampire? And really he hadn't; she found out accidentally. And he never talked about Darla or Drusilla or even Spike for that matter. Or the curse and his past life. Sure, they were painful subjects. But they were in a relationship. Things shouldn't have been so veiled. Of course, Buffy had kept a number of things hidden from Angel as well. Had they really never talked? Was that why she felt so odd with Spike and his always wanting to talk things out? Buffy shook her head. She hoped not.

"Why are you shaking your head?" Angel asked, ripping her away from her thoughts.

Buffy gazed up at him. "What aren't you saying, Angel?" she finally asked.

Angel looked at her questioningly.

Buffy elaborated. "There seems to be a lot on your mind and I'm just—"

"There's nothing on my mind," Angel interrupted. He amended, "except for what the hell is Spike doing here being your… your…" He couldn't continue.

"One true love," Buffy finished for him.

Angel glared. "You seem a little too okay with this."

She cringed. "Not okay. Really not okay. I've just a little more time to get used to it."

"Get used to it? You shouldn't want to get used to it."

"Angel—"

"What the hell's been going on here? Just how long have you had to get used to it?'

Buffy couldn't look him in the eyes and looked over to the trash cans in the corner instead. "You've been gone a long time, Angel. A lot of things have changed."

"Just how much could have changed for you to let him be anywhere near you?" When he didn't get a response, Angel grabbed her shoulder and practically yelled in her face, "Tell me!"

Buffy head snapped back to face him. "I am not a child." She said coldly and moved his hand off her left shoulder. "I've gone through a lot. My mom's death, my death. So you don't get to come here and order me around like I'm 17. Okay?"

She didn't realized she'd been moving forward with every phrase until Angel's back hit the wall on the other side of the alleyway.

"I'm sorry." He said again.

"Yeah, you keep saying that. I wonder if you really mean it."

"I'm only sorry if I upset you in anyway. But what else do you expect? That I'd be happy to find that Spike's been here sniffing around you?

Buffy rolled her eyes at the analogy. "Okay, he's been here. Where have you been?" She challenged.

That gave Angel a pause. He tried to step back. "I have important things to do in LA. You know that. We can't be…"

"We can't be together?" Buffy completed. "So why the hell do you care who I'm with, Angel?"

"Are you saying you're with him?

"I'm saying you left!" Buffy exclaimed, exasperated with the entire conversation. "You left! You chose to do your work. So that means: you have no say."

Angel looked at Buffy with the sad puppy dog eyes. He was begging her for something, but she didn't know what. He shook his head and spoke, "I just always thought…that maybe later. Maybe later, you know? After all the work was done…we would be…" He trailed off, not wanting to put that longing into words.

She sighed and softened. "I know, I thought that too. But, I think this past year has made me realized something: there are no guarantees in life. Faith used to say want, take, have. Maybe you should just take what you want right now."

Buffy found herself unable to continue because of the arrival of Angel's lips on hers. "Mmmpphhff," she let out as his tongue roughly tried to part her lips. Buffy struggled against the kiss and managed to break free of his hold on her. She wiped her mouth in shock.

"Okay. That take what you want statement? Did not mean me."

Angel reached for her again and she stepped back. "Look, I did what you said. Want, take, have? I wanted you."

Buffy frowned and looked into his puzzled eyes. He didn't seem all too confident in his words. "Did you, really?" She asked. "Did you really want me or some idea of me that you have in your head?" Angel opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him with a raised hand. "Really think about this."

"I know you think I haven't been here—"

"You haven't."

"—But you're still Buffy—"

"Not the Buffy you knew. Things, a lot of things, have happened. I've changed. And I'm sure things have happened to you, too. The Angel I knew never would have done that." Buffy sighed. "I don't know if we're really what we were to each other anymore."

Angel became a little less imposing as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He shook his head slowly. "I know you're right. The Angel I knew wouldn't have done that either. A lot of things do have me stressed back in LA. But," He stood a little taller now. "I think the main problem is Spike."

Buffy looked baffled. "Spike hasn't been in LA recently."

"See, exactly! Why would you know his schedule? I thought he was just muscle." Angel looked agitated. "I meant why does it have to be Spike? God, anybody else would be better! I mean, whatever happened to that annoying little soldier?"

She rolled her eyes in response.

"And you still haven't answered my question yet."

"What question?"

"Are you with Spike?"

Was she with Spike? That was the question of the day. She really, really didn't know what to say. They technically broke up today, so she could say no. They weren't together in the strictest of definitions. But in a way, she knew they kind of were and it wouldn't be fair to Spike to say no. When she started caring about being fair to Spike, she didn't know. Nevertheless, they weren't finished yet. They could still break up, but they had to talk first.

Buffy decided to stall. "Well, you didn't answer my question either. About what seems to be on your mind?"

Angel shook his head. "We're going to keep going in a circle, aren't we?"

"Not if you keep hiding from me! You seem to think I'm the only one who has to discuss their life here. If you want anything to happen, there has to be some give and take."

Angel looked torn. "I…would. But I can't. I'm sorry. When everything settles, I'll talk to you about it. I just don't think now is the best time."

Buffy stared at him in silence for a moment and shrugged. "Then I don't think we have anything to talk about."

Angel looked away. They were both quiet for a few minutes, thoughts running through both their minds. Angel finally looked back at her. "I love you Buffy. And I always will," he said, gazing into her eyes earnestly.

She sighed. "I love you too, Angel."

"And I want you to be happy. I just don't think it will be with Spike."

"It may be; it may not. That's my decision to make." Buffy surprised even herself.

"I can't believe this! You're actually with that son of a bitch."

Buffy said nothing. Then she whispered, "Maybe. I like him. A lot more than I ever thought I would." She let out a defensive little huff in the face of his incredulity. "He's not the same guy you remember. He's trying to be a good person. I don't give him enough credit for that, either. And he loves me. So much."

"Do you love him?"

"I…can't tell you that."

"So, you don't?"

"I can't tell you that either."

Angel groaned. He gazed at the sky and muttered expletives about Spike. "This isn't what I planned."

"Me neither. But sometimes you have no control over what happens in life." Buffy thought over the past few years. She never would have imagined this scene three years ago. That she would be finally letting go of Angel. She was sure her high school self would be upset at her for doing so. She had wanted to love him forever; she had never wanted to move on. But though he'd always be in her heart, she just wasn't in love with him anymore. Buffy was chagrinned that it took so long for her to realize it.

"Well this has been an enlightening night," Angel stated sardonically. "I think I'll be heading back to LA before I learn anything else. Ignorance is bliss." Angel halfway joked, still looking a little upset.

Buffy smiled a little, walking toward the training room door.

Angel shook his head. "I'm just going to go through the alley. I might be calm now, but I don't need to see him. I might go off."

Buffy nodded in understanding.

Angel made his way toward the street. He paused and turned back to Buffy. "I do want you to be happy, Buffy. And I really hope you know what you're doing."

Buffy smiled. "I do."