Summary: The sequel to Desire.
Rating: NC-17 at times but alright for the most part.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, the Tribe and the characters and the property of Cloud 9 and Mr. Thomas.
Chapter Two
After a moment Ebony pulled back and avoided his eyes for a moment wondering how something that had once felt so brilliant could now be so lacking in that which she needed. It was not that her heart did not beat that little bit faster when she was near him, or that she did not love him or even that he did not satisfy her it was just that she never felt as if she truly had him all to herself. As if something – or someone – else also held a claim on his affections – or lack there of.
With a sigh and roll of his eyes, Mega commanded her to tell him, "What is the matter?"
Ebony almost smiled softly at the way that he could always detect the slightest change in her emotions, or anyone's for that matter. She breathed deeply and looked into his eyes as she forced herself to ask, "Why was there such passion between us when we first met yet now you redistrict yourself so much with your emotions. Even around me you give nothing away".
The sparkling emeralds of eyes beseeched him to tell her the truth; she could not imagine him lying to her. He had always been brutally honest with her even if it left a gaping wound.
A brief sigh escaped his lips as he wracked his brains for a way of telling her what she wanted to know, "I do not show emotion Ebony, I cannot do allow myself to do so, but that does not mean that I do not feel for you", he admitted stroking her cheek gently. There was no way that he could explain why he could not give himself to her without her no longer wanting him to do so.
Ebony let out a low sigh and shook her head, "I cannot go on like this anymore Mega. Yes, I think that I know that you feel for me and that you love me but I am never quite sure. I do love you and I wish with all my heart that I could be happy but I cannot. When I am with you I feel complete but then there is just this feeling that your heart belongs to someone else. Please tell me if that is so", she beseeched him.
Her eyes stunk slightly from the force that she was exerting not to let tears escape, she was still a strong woman but now she had found something better than being strong alone, she liked having Mega in her life and having someone who would spend time with her whatever she did.
Mega wrapped his arms around her slender waist and pulled her so him rubbing her arm body gently in any effort to make her relax, "In a way yes. You have to understand that this is my most shameful secrete and that I have never before told anyone. I do not even know if you will want to stay around once I tell you the truth, so if you want it say so but if not forget it and go back to a peaceful life".
"I have to know", Ebony forced herself to say in a rush, she could not let her traitorous head lie to her about what she wanted in order to protect her heart. As she heard that there was another woman she wanted to turn away, to hurt him but she could not. She refused to let him know that he had had an effect on her, she would lay there in his arms and stare him out while he dared to tell her of his love for another woman.
"Okay then. You have met my Mother and you have probably noticed that for a woman who is overly concerned about her child there are not many pictures of me when I was younger in her house. That was because when I was younger I lived with my Father and when my Mother left him, he burnt all of the pictures of our family. Mother went off to try and get a better life for her and myself but while she was gone Father changed. He became a bit of a bastard and taught me not to show emotions, kicked me around pretty badly if I dared to show any. After a while I not lonely learned how to avoid the beating but also to take a sort of pride in the fact that I could hide my emotions so well. By the time that Mother finally came back to get me I had changed. I probably never would have changed back even slightly, if it was not for a girl that I met when I moved in with my Mother. She had married a rich guy and we were in high society", he started.
"The first time that I had to go to one of the big fancy parties I had no idea what to do and felt inadequate. I was about two seconds away from turning and leaving but then I saw her. She was the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen in my life and hell I was still a teenaged boy. I think that I lost my heart the first time that I saw her. I thought that I was bad and smart but she was so much worse. She showed me things about the world and about manipulation that I could never even have dreamed of before and eventually I thought that she felt the same way too", he stopped as a tear trickled down his cheek.
"We did everything together, she even got me a job with your ex husband Ram and I was so grateful. Every picture that I had taken she was in and my Mother thought that we were going to get married, to tell you the truth so did I. But then it all went wrong. I came home one night to find out that she and Ram had had an affair and that she had used me. From that day on I gave up all emotions and my mother put away all pictures of her. If I had never started to show emotions then she would never have thought that I was weak and would not have left me. And more importantly I would need to have revenge. I went after Ram ad eventually I killed him and that was why I was so interested in you. You reminded me of her, I wanted to have my revenge on you because I wanted to image that you were her and so that I could say that I had got one over on Ram", Mega admitted looking down at her in shame as she held onto her waist now more possessively.
"I am sorry, I never meant it so end up this way. I love you now and would never think of trying to hurt you …" He was cut off, as Ebony fought to be free of his arms which held her too close.
The realisation that he had not loved her was too much for her. Ebony had been excepting to hear that he had never loved her or that he was in love with another woman or something but not that he had got together with her for revenge. She knew that Mega was al about revenge and although she did feel sympathy for him she could not believe that she had been so utterly stupid.
"Get off me", she snarled as she wrestled against him for her freedom finally winning it as she slapped him hard across the face and scrabbled out of the bed wrapping her dressing gown around her.
Her face grew ugly as she was consumed with hatred and malice, "You know something Mega you disgust me, you got together with me for revenge on other people all the time thinking that you were playing me like some pimp. Well guess what, I never loved you. Just like you never loved me. I thought that maybe you would be good for sex, but you could not even handle that now could you?" She snarled.
"Ebony, please do not do this. You asked for the truth and I am giving it to you. Yes it was all about revenge at the start but now it is not, I love you, even if I do not say or show it as often as I should it does not change the fact that I do", he said getting out of bed and trying to hold her again.
"Okay then, when did it stop being about revenge? The first time that you kissed me?" There was silence. "Okay then how about the first time that you made love to me?" Again there was silence.
"Come on Mega. You said that you were going to tell me the truth if that was what I want it so come on tell me when it all stopped being about revenge, come on be a man", she said through angry tears.
"I cannot tell you because I do not know", Mega roared in despair as he saw her tears, then sinking his voice to tenderness once more said, "I simply do not know. I felt something for you from the first time that we kissed and now I want to be with you and not just for revenge but I am sorry I do not know when it stopped".
Ebony's vision was blurred by the tears which she furiously wiped away, "Okay then. Do you still love this other girl?"
Mega looked with pain at her; he opened his mouth to answer her but wished that there was a way out. He just could not do it. He loved Ebony too much to hurt her but he could not lie to her. It was not that he loved his first love more than Ebony or anything but she had created him, he would always love and hate her and she would always have a place in his heart.
"Do not say anything. I can see the answer in your eyes", Ebony said sadly as she left the room forcing herself to act calmly as she walked out of his life.
"Damn you Java. Why are you cursing me", he growled as tears leaked slowly down his eyes as he fell back to the bed knowing that he had just lost the best thing in his life.