Hey all. I didn't get very many reviews, but I'm going to keep posting to try and salvage this. This chapter was extremely fun to write!

Chapter 5

Evil Mystical Talking Muffin!

(aka:EMTM)

Obi-Wan continued his punishment and by the 19th day, he was becoming slightly delusional. That morning, he was searching for food before going to the kitchens. He pulled out a half-frozen english muffin. He thawed it, and laid it down to go get the butter. He came back, and dropped the butter container... The english muffin was moving! Not only that, it was sprouting arms, and legs! Obi-wan blinked, and rubbed his eyes. The muffin was now growing a face! It stood up and looked at him. They both stared.

"I, Sir Muffin of England, proclaim that english muffins, like myself, and all other foods, excluding spinach, enjoy being eaten! And furthermore, humans and aliens alike do not like spinach, unless they are evil enough to withstand its evil and horrid taste!" The muffin looked slightly proud "Oh, and by the way my good lad, I prefer being eaten WITH butter!" Obi-wan had been totally speechless until now.

"Umm...sure." mumbled Obi-Wan. The muffin smiled and feel back into being an inanimate object.

Qui-Gon had awoken early to see Obi-Wan off. The boy was having a hard time keeping up. He admitted he would too. He was just walking into the kitchen when he saw an english muffing floating for a second, then hearing Obi-Wan shriek, and throw the muffin at the same time!

"Ahh! Haunted muffin! Ahh!" The muffin now lay still. Qui-Gon was as confused as Obi-Wan, but apparently Obi-Wan just hadn't been enough sleep. He had grabbed a pan and was now beating the muffin with it. The pan was hitting the hard floor, and the noise was quite loud. Obi-Wan was now screaming out, "Die! DIE YOU EVIL MYSTICAL TALKING MUFFIN, YOU!" as he practically beat the thing into the floor. Qui-Gon was speechless, so he watched Obi-Wan. He was sure his padawan had probably woken up their neighbors. Mace was one of them, and the relatively new Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi. Across the hallway was another Knight. He seemed easy going enough not to care what obnoxious noise was coming from across the hallway, but Mace was furious. Mundi he didn't know well, so this was probably a test run. Obi-Wan had paused to see if the muffin was still moving. Qui-Gon decided that to make this interesting, he moved the muffin slightly with the Force. Obi-wan grabbed the largest pan they had and let out some kind of war cry and commenced brutally, and savagely massacring every cell of the muffin. Someone started pounding on the wall. It was Mundi. Apparently, he wasn't terribly concerned, but someone was at their door, pounding it quite hard as well.

"JINN! YOU SHUT UP OR I'M COMIN' IN TO SHUT YOU UP MYSELF!" Obviously, it was Mace Windu. Obi-Wan suddenly stopped. The muffin was totally squished. It was flatter than a pancake. Obi-Wan knelt down. "What have I done! It was talking! I've murdered Sir Muffin!" Obi-wan was totally freaking out. Mace had stopped pounding, apparently satisfied. Mundi had stopped before Obi-Wan had. Obi-Wan was trying to calm himself down. "Ok, Ok, it wasn't real. You were just imagining him...Oh man! What if all the other english muffins hear that I killed him? What if they attack me in my sleep! I've always liked english muffins, but I'm probably on their 'Most Wanted' list now! Oh Force! What am I going to do! What if he had a family!" Obi-Wan stopped, apparently wondering how english muffins could have a family. He turned slightly and spotted Qui-Gon. "Master! The muffin! It talked, and it flew! And...and..."

"Alright padawan, calm down! It was only a muffin! It doesn't talk to you or fly!" Ok, so it had flown, but he didn't really know how to explain that one.

"But! But!" Obi-Wan was seriously confused. Then it all seemed clear. "They like to be eaten. Gareth was right!" Gareth was going to turn 14 in a month, and he had started eating like a Hutt. Qui-Gon was slightly confused now, but he figured it was another one of those 13-year-old theories that were never true.

"Obi-Wan, find something to eat and get to the kitchens." Qui-Gon said. Obi-Wan nodded, peeled the remains of Sir Muffin off the floor, ate something else, and left.

"Gareth Gareth Gareth!" Obi-Wan yelled as he rushed to their table at lunch. Siri and Bant rolled their eyes. This would be interesting. Obi-Wan ploped down in his spot. "You were right! Food likes to be eaten, an english muffin told me this morning!"

"Obi-Wan...I hope once mopping and kitchen duty are over, you will go back to normal,

because you're scaring me!" Gareth replied. Obi-Wan seemed slighly put out, but they talked over how the holo-vid playing had went. That was a while back, but they hadn't had time to discuss it. Gareth was now accepting any requests from Jedi for pranks, but Obi-Wan still needed to write theplans and decide which they would do. Everything would return to normal once the King's punishment was over. Then their life of pranking would continue.