Thank you very much for helping me and giving me advices about this fic! I would not have updated this fic if it weren't for your advices.

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin.

Do you know how it hurts to hear from the person you love that he doesn't love you at all?

It's like this:

It's like you fell from the 20th floor of a building but unfortunately…

You're still alive… :(

(Got this from a forum)

-

--

-

I was running to Misao's house and I know for a fact that people were staring at me.

They were probably wondering why I am crying my heart out at the same time running. I don't care what they will think of me because right now all I could think of is how my heart hurts.

I feel like my heart is been torn to pieces.

I once promised that I wouldn't cry just because of a guy but now…

…but now I'm crying because of a guy.

-

-

Flashback

I was having a sleep over at Misao's house and we were watching an anime series in Misao's room. Then I heard cries coming from the other room.

"Is someone crying?" I asked her.

"Its Omasu… she just broke up with her boyfriend. She found out that he was just playing with her and saw him with another girl." She told me while popping some popcorn into her mouth.

"Ahh ok…" I replied and stared at the screen thinking if that happens to me. Nah! Probably not, I won't be fooled that easily.

"Guys are such jerks!" Misao suddenly blurt out.

"You said it! I promise myself that I won't cry just because of a guy." I told her.

End of Flasback

-

-

I have met Kenshin long before and never realized what I felt for him.

I now realized that all those times when I hated him for being such a bastard was because I was jealous of him being with Tomoe and how I avoided him ever since.

I was the one keeping myself away from him and not the other way around.

And now I have realized also the true reason why I accepted to be his pretend girlfriend. I never knew this at first but come to think about it, my other reason was unreasonable.

I accepted to be his pretend girlfriend was because I have feelings for him and wanted to bring back what we used to have back then. I wanted to be with him and I was unconsciously hoping that he would realize that I am always there for him.

Without even realizing it, I was already in front of Misao's house. I went near the door and rang the doorbell.

The door opened revealing Misao and she was wearing her favorite shirt and shorts. She looked as energetic as always. Her eyes shining brightly and she looked very happy. But when she saw me, her smile turned into a frown.

She acknowledges me and silently gave way for me to go inside. She closed the door and we both went up to her room.

She sat down in her bed and I followed her sitting by her side.

"So what's your problem Kao? It is not everyday I see you that sad." She asked me softly.

I told her everything that happened without omitting anything.

"I think you should tell him how you feel. You may not know he also likes you. If not then go on with your life there are still a lot of fishes in the sea. It's not your loss if he rejects you; it's his for letting go of the person who really cares for him. But at least tell him what you feel so that you won't regret anything.

I'll always be here for you to cry on." She said softly, and I gave her a weak smile.

I'm so lucky to have a bestfriend like Misao. I can always depend on her when it comes to advices. She may be irresponsible at times but when you need her, she would always be there for you. I hugged her and thanked her for everything.

"Thank you. I'm so lucky to have you as my bestfriend." I told her sincerely and she gave me a sympathetic smile.

-

-

The next day I saw Kenshin with Tomoe walking together side by side. He saw me and waved at me. I gave him a weak smile and he approached me followed by Tomoe closely.

"Hi Kaoru!"

"Kenshin do you mind if I talk to you? If its ok with Tomoe." I asked him. He understood what

He glanced back and asked permission from Tomoe. After receiving her approval we went to the place under the tree.

"Do you remember when we last had a talk in here?" I asked him while sitting down on the grass.

"Yup. I was really depressed at that time." He said while sitting down beside me. He tilted his head upwards facing the sky.

"So what do you want to talk about?" He looked at me and stared into my eyes. Whenever he gives me that kind of look, my knees would suddenly feel very weak.

"…" I sighed and tucked some loose hair into my ears. "Kenshin…." I found it very hard to utter a single word to him.

I must do this! I kept on chanting inside my mind. I looked at him again and realized that he was still staring at me. Does he feel the same way about me? I would not know if I will not do this. I sighed again for the second time and started to talk again. "Kenshin I want you to know that…" I closed my eyes and paused.

"Know what?" He asked me.

I could feel him close to me and I didn't say it to him first because I want to cherish this moment first before telling him what I felt for him. I know that when I utter those words to him, our relationship as friends would not be the same anymore. He might hate me or he might reciprocate my feelings for him. But the latter would be impossible since he loves Tomoe. But what's wrong in trying?

At this point my heart starts pounding really fast. I'm so scared but I know I have to do this.

"Kenshin I think I love you. Please don't hate me for saying this. I just want you to know. It's ok if you don't feel the same way about me. I already accepted this. Really." I assured him.

I looked at him but I saw him looked away. "Kaoru, do you know that by saying this our relationship with each other is going to change. It won't be the same anymore." He told me weakly.

"I know this from the very start." I feel that my eyes are getting heavy with tears and my visions were already fogging due to the tears swelling up in my eyes.

I can't believe this… I feel so weak in front of him. He turned and averted his eyes to me.

"I knew this would happen! Another reason why I chose you to make Tomoe jealous was because you're the last person who would likely to fall for me. For how long we've been together as friends, you never had feelings for me. So I thought that you only looked at me as your brother. I … never mind." He waved his hand showing that he doesn't want to continue this conversation.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to him while tears kept sliding off my face. I tried to stop my tears from falling but I found it hard to stop.

"No… I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. If I didn't ask you this favor before, this wouldn't have happened. I'm the one to be blamed, not you…" He stood up and walked away without looking back at me.

I stayed in the same spot for how many hours crying and thinking on what's going to happen to me now. Now… now that I officially have an unrequited love. I now know how it feels to love someone that doesn't even love you a single bit.

But I know I have to let him go and accept the fact that I lost him. But now I think about it, I never really had lost him since I never had him in the first place…

-

AN: I think the next chapter would be the last one. I really love you all for giving me some inspiration to write this fic. And thank you for sharing your ideas to me. I really appreciated all your help. Arigatou! BTW, sorry for the very long update…

Do you think this chapter is boring? It's mostly about Kaoru's feelings…(sorry guys, its because of my very emotional state right now. Hehe)

And by the way, if you find some mistakes in my fic… please tell me but don't be harsh and I know my grammar is not that great. Hehe

Bye until next time!