Bruce had thought he had seen everything when it came to his cat.
He had been wrong. So very, very wrong.
Bruja took one look at Tony Stark...and to his shock (and the amusement of everyone else) she apparently decided he was her new personal springboard.
The yelp he let off when he realized there was a cat on his back was hilarious. Natasha was trying very, very hard not to laugh, and Coulson was clearly hiding his own by ducking out of sight.
He eventually took pity on the eccentric millionaire by carefully extracting Bruja from his shoulder. The cat looked unbearably smug as she sat calmly on Bruce's shoulder.
"What the heck is that?!"
"Bruja."
Steve wasn't even trying to hide his grin. It probably didn't help that Bruja had settled her paws on Bruce's head and that her fur almost matched his hair color, so it looked like he had cat ears.
"Why would you name your cat after a witch?"
"Why not?" said Bruce.
"I think I have a new liking for cats," said Coulson with a straight face.
Tony clearly disagreed.
The 'feline standoff' between Tony and Bruja continued in the lab, as it was clear the cat rarely went very far from Bruce. And since Tony was eager to have Banner in his labs, if only for someone to talk to, he would have to live with the cat.
Finally Bruce took pity on the eccentric inventor and handed him some chicken that was cut up into bite-sized pieces. It took Tony a moment before he figured out it was for the cat.
Once Bruja accepted food from Tony, she let him be.
"So why a cat?"
"She's not scared of the Other Guy, and having her around keeps him calm. Though if you really want to see something weird..." said Bruce, grinning.
He started humming a few bars of a well known cat food commercial...and to Tony's disbelief the cat started meowing the rest.
"Your cat knows the Meow Mix song?"
"I learned it's better not to ask why Bruja does something, just accept it and move on."
Once Bruja settled into her chair, they got to work. Occasionally she lifted her head up and gave them an odd look.
Both men ignored her presence...so naturally after Loki was captured it took Bruce a few minutes to realize his cat wasn't in the room.
"Have you seen Bruja?"
"Last time I noticed her she was on the chair sleeping."
Before Bruce could ask, Natasha came in with an odd look on her face.
"Are you aware your cat is staring Loki down in containment?"
"What?!" yelped Bruce.
He was out the door before she said anything else.
Tony looked at her.
"Is that evil cat of his really staring Loki down?"
Natasha nodded.
"That was after she somehow managed to knock decaf coffee into the machine when someone was in the middle of cleaning it out. Fury was pissed when he went to make a cup."
There were a few other things she had done, but that was the second biggest thing. It was just lucky she was so vital to keeping the Hulk calm and sleeping, otherwise Fury would have shot her.
"...The containment is right outside the window, isn't it?" said Tony, going to the window to look.
There, sitting calmly on the console was the cat. And Loki was definitely having a stare down with the feline. Tony flipped on the audio, to Natasha's amusement.
The second Bruce made it down to containment, Loki broke eye contact first and sneered at him.
"Well if it isn't the beast who plays at a man. Here to retrieve your pet witch?"
Bruce ignored him and picked up his cat.
"I don't care if you found out her name from Agent Barton, but leave Bruja alone," he stated flatly. He turned and completely missed the look of confusion on Loki's face.
Tony, however, didn't.
"He did get the cat's name from Barton, didn't he?"
"I can't imagine a reason why Loki would care about a cat," said Natasha, also confused.
Bruja's behavior went from slightly quirky to just plain odd.
For one thing, the moment Fury and the others practically stormed in to yell at Stark, Bruja jumped onto the staff and without warning used it to blast the wall. She was letting off a low growl that said she was about to give someone a very, very bad day.
The last time Bruce heard that growl, the guy had to go to the emergency room...which he only found out after the fact two countries away. After he had "Hulk'd" out on the jerk.
They saved his eye, but the guy was terrified of cats after.
After she blasted the wall, everyone's attention was firmly on her.
Bruja leaped off the staff, and went to a computer. She seemed to dance off the keyboard until a few things popped up.
One was a picture of Loki after he first arrived through the Cube. The next was a picture of Barton, also right after the initial attack.
Bruce slowly moved to pick his cat up. He took his time not because he was afraid of her going after him, but because he sensed she was trying to tell them something. Something important.
One by one, six letters appeared across both pictures in capital letters.
T
H
A
N
O
S
Her message passed, Bruja allowed Bruce to pick her up without any threat of her claws.
"Care to explain doctor?" asked Fury, not amused at all that the cat had essentially threatened them.
"Who or what is a Thanos?" asked Tony.
"Thanos, the Mad Titan. He courts death and is considered a general threat to many planets," supplied Thor.
"What does Thanos have to do with Loki and Barton?" asked Natasha.
Bruja glared at her. She let out a loud yowl before squirming out of Bruce's arms and back to the computer.
Except instead of messing with the keyboard she started pawing at the picture of Loki. Specifically the area where his eyes were.
Bruce looked closer, before realization hit.
"Thor, what color are Loki's eyes normally?"
"Green, like the cat's," said Thor immediately.
"Then why are his eyes the same blue color as Barton's?" said Bruce.
"What."
Fury immediately pulled up the picture of Loki in the containment, and sure enough his eyes were clearly a light blue. The same color he saw in Barton's before he escaped.
"What can you tell us about Thanos?"
"He covets the Infinity Stones, relics of great and terrible power. And he seeks to court Hel, the Goddess of Death," replied Thor.
"Is it possible this Thanos is controlling Loki the same way he controls Agent Barton?" asked Natasha intently.
"It is more than possible, but likely. It would explain where Loki received the staff and how he gained an army so quickly," said Thor.
Considering the Cube was an Infinity Stone, it was entirely likely Thanos was using his brother to get at it, and destroy a potential threat in the same move. The fact Loki's eyes were the same color as Agent Barton also meant that he might not be in control of his actions.
At the very least it gave Thor hope his brother wasn't lost.
The explosion rocked everyone on their feet. The second one sent Bruja and Bruce onto the floor. Thor, who had been close to them, crashed nearby and ended up pinned by a filing cabinet.
Bruce was already having a hard time controlling his anger at the whole situation. It didn't help that Fury wanted to find out whether Bruja was a cat at all, let alone how she managed to use the staff even briefly.
So naturally when his heart rate started to go up and his control started to slip, he began to panic.
No, no, no...don't wake up. Please keep sleeping, Please!
Thor seemed to recognize something was wrong. But before a single word could be said...Bruja managed to get out from under Bruce's protective hold and look him in the eye.
What happened next threw the idea of Bruja being a very smart cat right out the window.
Thor found himself in a glade of flowers. It wasn't real, because he couldn't actually feel the petals or smell them, but it felt real enough.
But for Bruce, it was like he had been removed from the helicarrier and taken away from the cause of stress.
His breathing evened out and his pupils no longer looked dilated and green. Thor could feel another explosion and the helicarrier dipping, but Bruce couldn't.
Thor looked at the cat impressed. It took someone with actual skill and a large amount of power to pull off this sort of illusion.
Skill enough to turn into a cat for long periods of time without losing themselves.
With Bruce taken care of for the moment, Thor went to find Loki.
Bruja noticed him leaving, but didn't remove the illusion.
Bruce looked his cat in the eye. He was calmer, but he was beginning to see past her furry exterior.
"You're not really a cat are you?"
He had always been so relieved to avoid an incident he had never questioned the weird feeling of zen-like peace and the memory of flowers.
Bruja meowed, as if to say no.
"Who or what are you?"
Bruja tilted her head. Then Bruce heard something, like a voice in the back of his mind.
Your friend...and someone who would like to prolong Fury's attention for as long as possible. Otherwise I won't be able to spike the coffee machine again.
Bruce couldn't help it. He laughed.
"How are you able to talk to me like this?"
You know that staff? There's a reason why Loki was able to control minds, even while he was under control of someone else. If you can get me to the glorified paperweight again I can cut the connection off.
"What are we waiting for then?" said Bruce. He was much calmer, even if he had more questions than answers.
The moment they were back in the lab, Bruce watched as Bruja bounded across the floor and to the staff, which miraculously hadn't fallen.
Then, despite any evidence it was capable of doing so in the first place, she calmly sat on the staff...and without warning the thing was floating.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...that thing can fly?!" said Bruce incredulous.
If you understand the mechanics of broom flight, and know how to access the interior power source... Yes the staff can fly. Now to go give Fury headaches~!
Bruja sounded entirely too gleeful, and Bruce debated on following her or seeing if Fury kept alcohol in his office.
Considering the headache he had, he went in search of some industrial strength aspirins first.
The "Avengers" were torn between laughing from the sheer disbelief and no little amount of shock, or trying to catch the flying cat.
Or in the case of Bruce and Fury, waiting for the migraine medication to kick in.
Tony was firmly on the side of trying to figure out how the cat was making the staff fly, and laughing.
Steve and Natasha were on the side of catching the flying feline, who insisted on going near them before making absurd dives and sudden accelerations, causing them to crash, usually into each other. Coincidentally this was also the main source of Tony's amusement.
Finally Fury had enough.
"Dr. Banner, please tell your cat to quit flying with the staff," he said.
Bruce gave him an incredulous look.
"She's a cat. She doesn't exactly listen to humans on a good day."
Tony snickered.
"She listens to you, doesn't she?"
Bruce couldn't look him in the eye. Still, he did have one way to get Bruja's attention. He reached into his pocket and pulled out...
"Is that a laser pointer?" said Tony.
Bruce pointed the laser at a random wall. Without warning, Bruja made a sharp turn, causing Steve to crash into Coulson and sending both men onto the floor. Tony lost it, because they were very, very close to kissing with how their faces were angled.
Bruce had the cat chasing the laser until she came to a smooth stop within arm's reach.
He would have taken her off it, except she made it clear she wasn't in the mood to listen to him. Instead they came to a compromise in that she wouldn't be flying around the place.
When they finally managed to extract the feline off the staff...the glow was much dimmer. Not that anyone noticed, considering how bright the room was.
Bruja was clearly pouting at being stuffed in the cage again. Not even chicken could cheer her up.
But she had the last laugh. She stole the Stone inside from right under everyone's noses and no one knew!