Once Upon A Time/HP crossover. Enjoy!
"Have you heard the rumors?"
That was how it always started. And to be honest, he was getting tired of hearing that phrase.
A young man about sixteen or seventeen in an old-looking cloak was sitting at the bar sipping his drink. While they didn't seem to care about the drinking laws around here, it was always smart to never drink this close to when he slept.
It might make him easier to kill, after all.
The yound man barely held in a sigh, as he finished his drink and paid for it. The bartender didn't even look in his direction. He was just another faceless customer there to get drunk. So long as he paid with good coin, he wasn't their problem.
Whistling some random tune he knew, the slim figure walked through the darkened alleys without much care about his surroundings.
As with all such places, there are those that watch over the shadows with greed-filled eyes. And seeing such a figure was too tempting a target to resist.
It was over in mere moments. For the thieves anyway.
There was quite a few people staring in disbelief as the slim figure cheerfully kept on humming...while nonchalantly dragging a trio of well known criminals who liked to target people coming home from local taverns for their coin.
"What do we have here?" said the local equivalent of a cop. He never did bother to learn what they were called. Probably sheriff, considering how backward this place was.
"Is there any reward for turning in a bunch of common crooks?" asked the figure hopefully.
"Five silver. Ten, if you have the full set," replied the sheriff.
"How many in this set?" asked the figure, knowing the game intimately by now.
The sheriff made a show of looking over the trio, though he knew them by sight at this point.
"Why three, of course," he said.
The figure happily handed over the thieves, and took the ten silver coins. He made more money off the idiots who tried to rob him than he did actually working, not that he bothered with that sort of thing. He was too wired up to try.
"By the way...what's your name young man?" asked the sheriff, almost like it was an afterthought.
He knew better. The sheriffs of this land were all greedy misers, or jerks. He just wanted to keep the silver and claim the capture for himself.
"My name...is 'Kirito'," said the figure. Then the kid smirked, and for no apparent reason his cloak flared up briefly, revealing the face underneath. "But you might know me better as the Sword-wielding Wind Sylph."
The teen had an all black with silver trim cloak underneath the one he used to hide his identity. His hair was a bird's nest of black hair that lay flat against his head. His eyes were a calm green lined with a stormy gray. He wore two different swords on his back, but they were placed in a way that made it look like he only wore one. On each ear was a strange sort of ornament.
His right ear had a green-woman that seemed to dance on the breeze, her feathers lifting up in preparation for flight.
This was a symbol, people would claim, of his contract with the wind sprites. This was the source of his strange ability to create wind where there none. To command the winds as if it were second nature.
On his left ear was a strange sort of dragon-like creature. Some said that if you looked closely, the abdomen would pulse much like a heart-beat. There was an eerie sort of glow about it, which almost seemed ominous. The creature was silver, black, with a red ruby in the stomach. It clutched at his left ear and it's tail seemed to go through the lob and curl around it, securing it in place.
That wasn't what freaked people out the most about the odd dragon ornament.
No, that was entirely because the thing was alive. At a single command, the thing would appear on his shoulder and do his bidding. It would listen to no other, and countless magicians had tried to capture or command it.
It would rip them to shreds without hesitation or mercy.
That dragon, Shadow Heart, was the figure's "familiar".
'Kirito' bent down to the thieves.
"Next time you plan to rob someone, make sure they're actually what they seem. Oh, and you're only my problem if you come after me or I'm being paid," he said cryptically.
Seeing at least one of them got his hidden message, the figure left, whistling once more while clinking his newly acquired coins and heading deep into the forest.
He almost never slept in the towns. Too dangerous.
"Up we go," muttered 'Kirito'.
Climbing trees was a hassle, but at least in this place they weren't as weak or sickly as home. Finding one with a sturdy enough branch was child's play.
Once he was high enough to feel comfortable, he reached into his bag and pulled out...a sheet with some rope? The teen quickly tied off his makeshift bed, which was more of a hammock really, onto the branch. Once he had his bed made, he went to a nearby branch and started to make used of a rather odd looking device that worked as a make-shift stove. Because of how old the tree was, and how high up he was, he was very careful to remove all the deadwood around him to act as fuel.
Wood so dry and dead that it would easily catch on fire if given a chance, leaving the 'living' bark relatively unharmed.
Once he had his fuel and his fire set up, he started to make his own supper.
It wasn't that he suspected his food would be poisoned in the bars and taverns...it was just he'd had the unfortunate experience of severe food poisoning more than once trying their idea of cooking, and he realized with some horror they didn't really cook the meat through more often than not.
It was easier to catch small animals and forage for edible plants than being stuck spending hours on a noxious smelling privy because of his stomach having problems.
He trusted his own cooking far more than he did other people...unless he saw multiple people eating it.
About the only safe thing in this place was bread.
Hearing voices below him, he shielded the small flame. Since he was so high up, it was unlikely they'd figure out the smoke was coming from a tree. Even if they did figure that much out, the lower branches effectively hid him from view.
'Figures...it's that stupid sheriff and a bunch of his buddies.'
Below him was the sheriff and a group of other idiots. Using the wind, he listened in to their arguments.
'So those thieves broke out with some buddies? Good for them. Not like it's my problem if they leave me alone,' he thought.
At least that was the idea until he saw that the thieves were trying to get to their friends nearby. Close enough for the sheriff to see them if he knew where to look.
Well he had already paid them back for attacking him and it really wasn't his problem. The worst he heard of these three was they left people in their birthday suit to explain to their wives how they got so thoroughly robbed.
And most of those victims had been jerks anyway.
He grinned, snagging something off the branch and turning it into a simple acorn.
Whispering a cheap copy spell, he briefly ran his finger over the odd feminine figure on his right ear.
"Girls? Time to go to work," he whispered. Feminine giggles erupted next to his ear. He quietly pointed out the sheriff and his friends, then the thieves.
"Distract the good sheriff while they make an escape. When they get far from my camp you can stop pelting them," he said.
~You've got it, Hunter.~
The figure who called itself 'Kirito' after the character he borrowed most of his appearance from, leaned back on the tree to watch the fireworks. He slowly ate his stew once it was ready, and he didn't have to wait long for his dinner show to begin.
The yelps of the sheriff and his men were like music to his ears.
Hunter Mills enjoyed being a pain in the ass to people in authority. Unless it was his mother, in which case it was safer to gut yourself with a dull blade than piss her off. She got vindictive when she was pissed. He just called himself 'Kirito' mostly out of fun and because it was harder for people to associate the mysterious sword-wielding wind-master with the bard known as Hunter.
And while he hated rumors, he was usually the one who had to go about spreading the real stories of the mysterious Kirito.
This Enchanted Forest place was an absolute pain in the neck.
Hearing the familiar giggles of the wind spirits, Hunter raised a single hand for them to dance around.
"Did you have fun...Zephyr?" he asked.
~So much fun. You always call us to play the most amusing tricks, Hunter!~ giggled the spirit.
"I'm glad. If someone tries to climb the tree, you'll wake me, right?"
~Of course we will! You're the only one who plays with us anymore,~ said Zephyr.
Once he finished his dinner, and packed the leftovers in a cold-rune box which he hung up next to him to eat for breakfast on the bread he bought earlier, Hunter easily slipped into his strangely comfortable hammock creation, high above the sight of humanity.
Very few things went this high up, and those that did wouldn't be able to see him. His spot was perfectly positioned above the height most humans climbed, and under enough of the foliage that it would be nearly impossible to see his little sack. Especially since it was woven in such a way that it literally disappeared among the trees.
If that wasn't enough, there were enough spells subtly woven into the fabric and rope that it made most people ignore him, unless they were unusually focused.
Mage sight was quite rare, and he made damn sure his camp was never found by the casual observer.
Besides, nothing beat the view he got in the morning, when the dawn broke above the treetops, unhindered by the foliage of the branches. The slight mist that crept along the tops of the trees, the unencumbered breeze that brushed through, rocking his bed softly in the night.
The fact that he couldn't be attacked so easily high above the ground, and his ability to fly off if anything happened below made it the perfect place to sleep. It was awkward as hell sometimes, but it was safer than the alternative.
Hunter sighed. It was becoming a bad habit of people to accost him on the road. This time it was the friends of the thieves he had helped to escape.
Who knew the idiots were part of Robin's band?
"Afraid we'll have to ask you to hand over your coin, stranger. Not many dare walk this road so casually...unless they're rich enough to afford a sword," said Robin, holding his arrow.
Hunter made a split second decision. He had heard good things about Robin and his group, and he really didn't want to attract the attention of the sheriff after having Zephyr prank him last night. Too soon, and he would likely remember the rumors about the mysterious Kirito.
"Or it could be that I'm just that good a player that I can trust my skills with the bow to get me out of hairy situations like this," said Hunter, pulling aside his cloak to reveal... a violin?
It was old, and beat up, but still very well cared for. The bow was also old looking, but the string was well maintained.
He had wanted to learn how to play the guitar. His mother wanted him to learn the violin. So they reached a compromise. He would take violin lessons and learn how to play the guitar on his own time, even if his mother had only relented on the guitar when she gave him one for Christmas.
He still had to pay for the music sheets for that, and his skill wasn't as good, but he did enjoy music.
The guitar was long lost, but he still managed to keep his violin.
He really hated wizards.
Seeing their shocked faces, Hunter made a show of being irritated.
"That damn Kirito was in the area again, wasn't he? Why do I always get the blame for his mischief?!"
"But... you look just like him!" said one of the trio who had accosted him the day before.
"My twin brother is an ass who leaves me to deal with the fallout for his pranks. Because I took up the bow and not the sword, he refuses to get involved with keeping me out of trouble. And I'm afraid I don't have much money... that bum keeps 'borrowing' my coin pouch and never bothers to pay me back," deadpanned Hunter.
Hunter never wore his swords this early in the morning. He wasn't much of a morning person at all, and it was so much easier to bluff that Kirito was his 'twin brother' that always caused him trouble and stole his money whenever he visited.
"Well Master Bard, if you really are that good with your instrument, perhaps we can work out an arrangement," Robin said. He'd heard word about this odd bard who was related to the mystery swordsman. About how his music could lift the spirits of others up with effortless skill.
And they could use a little cheering up.
"Let me guess. I have to pay my 'fee' for walking by playing until you're willing to let me go. You'll also make sure I can't see where your camp is by blindfolding me, and I can't say any details about what I do remember," said Hunter without much care.
"You know how this works, I take it?"
"Not the first time I've been 'kidnapped' by a band of thieves. Word to the wise, I really don't like to fight, so if there's trouble I'll only help if there's no other choice," said Hunter flatly.
More like if he fought, then it would quickly become obvious that he was "Kirito", and that was a can of worms he'd like very much not to open.
"So your name is Hunter Slyph, and your troublesome twin Kirito is always getting you into trouble without actually being there? Sounds rough," said Robin, sharing a tankard of what smelled like alcohol.
Hunter easily switched the booze inside for some juice. He wasn't that big a drinker, after all.
Hearing the outraged shout of Marian, Robin's wife, Hunter hid his grin.
Apparently she took pretty quick notice that the 'juice' in her son's cup was the ale Robin had poured into his. Someone was going to be in the doghouse for a few days.
"So what brings you to the Enchanted Forest?"
"Bad luck and a once in a thousand chance," said Hunter without hesitation.
Robin blinked.
"..."
"I was in a fight with some idiots who think that just because they were born to all-magical lineage, that they should run the place. I fell through some sort of doorway that was supposed to lead to somewhere else, but a spell hit me and my brother just before we fell through and the next thing we knew we were in the Enchanted Forest. Fortunately we were already planning to leave that country anyway, so we had most of our things already packed with us during the fight, and nothing of any value was lost. Unfortunately Kirito managed to get separated from me...and he was the one carrying most of our things. Why do people always assume I'm him anyway?" grumbled Hunter.
"I believe it's the ear pieces you both wear, as well as the fact you both travel in old cloaks," said Robin helpfully.
"Oh...that makes sense. These pieces are all we have left to remember our heritage by. The people we were staying with tried to convince us that magic could only be used through wands, instead of how our mother trained us. We used the last of our mother's training to make our shared familiars, and we're both friendly with the wind sprites," said Hunter. Then his face soured. "Unfortunately our favorite prank seems to have backfired against us."
Robin laughed.
"Sounds like you have it rough, caring for such a troublesome twin."
"Who do you think the primary money maker is of the two of us? That idiot could never hold down a job...he'd be too busy picking fights and robbing anyone stupid enough to try and attack him to actually hold one down."
Robin grinned.
"Sounds like my kind of friend."
"He's the wind. Trying to tie down the wind is pointless," said Hunter flatly.
The only one Hunter/Kirito would ever listen to was their mother. And she wasn't there.