ROLLIN' WITH MY PEEPS, a harry potter fanfic

A/N: The sequel to "PEEP-IT". You probably have no idea what I am talking about, since only TWO people reviewed. And one of them is like, my best friend (sorry Amanda). So, read on and feel like you're lost out in the middle of a cornfield (Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha… a little Illinois cornfield humor!), welcome to my life…

Rollin' With My Peeps

"Hermione?" asked Ron one night in the common room.

"Yes, Ronald?"

"Do remember the other day when we were playing hide-and-go-seek?"

"Yeah," said Hermione, blushing fiercely, "What about it?"

"Well," Said Ron, a bit distantly, "It's just that, I was wondering what charms you put on those things. Could you tell me?"

"Oh, that's all?" asked Hermione relieved. "They're really easy. Walking is "Activious!" and talking is "Kalatious!" Why did you want them again?"

"Just curious... Thanks Hermione!"

And with that, he walked out the portrait hole, and to the Room of Requirement.

Ron told the wall that he needed peeps. When the door appeared, Ron wrenched it open and ran through. Now that he had those spells, he could put his brilliant plan into action…

First, he freed all the peeps from their packaging with a wave of his wand. Then, he lined them up and cast both charms. They came to life.

"Hey everybody, look up here!" said Ron waving his arms. "I've brought you all here for a special reason."

The peeps squeaked loudly at this.

"Yes, yes, it's all very exciting. However, there are a few instructions…attack anyone that gets in your way except…" he rummaged in his pocket, "Here they are!" he triumphantly held up a stack of pictures. "You aren't to attack me because I'm your leader, and you adore me. Or Ginny, because she's my sister, or Harry, because he's my best mate." He held up the last picture, "Hermione. You are not to hurt Hermione, you are to bring her to me, do you understand? That is your task. She's my… best friend," he said, looking away. "What are you still doing here?" GO!"

When all the peeps had marched out of the room, Ron pulled off his robes to reveal a shirt that said, "Rollin' With My Peeps" it had little pictures of the small marshmallows on it too. He had gotten it at a Muggle store, Kohl's.

"Harry? Are those… peeps?" asked Ginny, as she pointed at a mass of moving marshmallows.

"Yeah, it's all part of Ron's 'Master Plan,' or something equally as stoop (excerpt from the Dictionary of Legolas Skies: stoop – stupid)."

"Plan for what?"

"To take over the world, and 'get' Hermione."

"The prat! Doesn't he realize he just has to ask? Doesn't she either? I've never met to be people more determined to not be happy together."

"No, I don't think that they do."

"How do you know Ron's doing this? Did he tell you?"

"No, I heard him muttering in his sleep, '…peeps… get Hermione… world as we know it…gone.'"

"I order you to halt!" said an irritated Snape to a huge, sugary, multi-colored army, with their leader, Ron, following at a distance. Ron led the peeps in song: "Snape is a roly-poly doughnut! Doughnut hole, if you didn't know! Doughnutty-nut-nut!" ©

McGonagall came around the corner at that exact moment, "Mr. Weasley!"

"Yes, Professor?" he asked innocently.

"What were the words to that song again?"

"OK peeps, on three… 1-2-3!" and they burst into song again.

McGonagall mouthed the words as though committing them to memory, then, after a moment, she said, "OK, I think I'm ready."

She and Ron put their arms around each other's shoulders and rocked side to side as they sang for the whole school to hear.

It was at that moment that Snape became the first peep inflicted death. (Can you just imagine that obituary in the paper? "Death By Peep" or even, "Blood-Thirsty Peep Kills 'Innocent' Man.") Nobody cried, nobody was sad, hey, they threw a party! Butterbeer all around! That, however, is a different story…

The peeps marched on, singing their battle hymn; the Weasley is Our King, Peep Remix.

"Ronald Weasley! What are you doing?"

Ron looked up to see who was yelling at him, "Hermione!" his face lit up with a smile.

"Ron, answer me!"

"Coming to get you," he said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?"

"Well, you're my friend and maybe I want you to be… a bit more… than that…"

Silence

Ron turned to walk away.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"I like you."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you can't control your heart, can you?"

"No, because I've obviously fallen in love with a maniac who'll attempt to take over the world, just to get me to go out with him."

"Wait, What?"

Hermione repeated her statement.

"Who said anything about taking over the world?" asked Ron, obviously confused.

"Umm, Ginny."

"Where'd she hear it?"

"Umm, Harry."

"And where did he hear it?"

"Umm... you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, he heard you talking in your sleep about a master plan, and peeps, and crap like that."

"So you think," said Ron, almost laughing, "that I'm trying to conquer the world?"

"Well," said Hermione uncomfortably, "Aren't you?"

"No! I just wanted you, so I could plead my case… Yeah, that was stupid."

"Oh, that's kind of cute, in a psychopathic kind of way!"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"The two hugged. Hermione looked over Ron's shoulder, "Umm… Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did the peeps go?"

"Oh shit," said Ron, seeing that the peeps were clearly, not there, "that can't be good."

Ron was correct, that was NOT good. The peeps had passed from his leadership to their own, and the first thing they were going to do was to get revenge. Revenge on who you ask? Humans of course, the ones who had devoured so many of their kind. What better way to get pay-back than to eat the humans? Alone, the peeps were much too miniscule to eat anything, but together, morphed into one huge multi-colored marshmallow blob; they could defeat the humans and never be eaten again!

There was only one tiny problem with this scheme. Even though the charm allowed them to talk, their beaks couldn't open. So, the humungous peep would just have to be satisfied will rolling over top of its victims. Many assorted body parts stuck out of the peep at odd angles. All in all, it looked very scary.

"Oh, Ron! Look at those poor people being rolled over like that!"

Ron's face was paler than usual. It was his fault that this monstrosity was on the loose.

'Ron? Are you listening?"

"No."

"Will it attack me when I try to stop it?"

"I don't know. I told it not to attack you guys, and only attack people in the way. But, see how well that worked?"

"Well, we'll just have to find out won't we?" she said before running down a flight of stairs, whipping out her wand, sending a yellow jet of light at the peep, and having it burst, reducing the mighty peep to nothing more than marshmallow cream.

"Someone get Madame Pomfrey!" yelled Hermione.

Ron surveyed the damage he had caused, and all because of Hermione. Yeah! It's all Hermione's fault! If only she had been honest, he wouldn't have had to guess and plan to capture her with a peep army. So, in all reality, it was all her fault! It felt good to blame someone else. Ron smiled. "You did it Hermione!"

"I did, didn't I?"

Ron and Hermione joined hands and walked down the hall together. Just as they were leaving, Filch walked in, he wasn't happy.

"What in the Hell did you do?" he yelled at their retreating backs. "What punishment do you think would be fitting, my sweet Mrs. Norris?"

There was a meow from the corner.

"Sweet?" He looked at the wall to see his darling cat glued to the wall by marshmallow cream.

Filch howled, "I'll have your asses in detention for the rest of your lives, mark my words!"

Ron and Hermione laughed, it was good to have things back to normal. Well, almost…