Been getting over a bad ear infection. Writing slowed down due to pain. Sorry about the late update.
Duo stared at the screen. Not only had Heero KNOWN about the pacifists, but he had defended them against several Aries who tried to make it look like Heavyarms had accidentally destroyed the plane while he was aiming in that direction.
As if that wasn't enough, he had even disabled the missiles outside the freaking base long before Une had the presence of mind to blow the damn things up!
In retrospect, there was only one question he could possibly ask given the circumstances.
"HOW? How the hell did you manage to screw up OZ's big scheme before we even knew there was an issue?"
And damn the surreal moment when Heero actually replied in a rather sheepish tone (because this was Mr. Perfect Soldier for god's sake) "I had a feeling they might try it?"
Duo had to admit, as a prank it was positively hilarious. Une was likely having a shit storm when she realized she couldn't blow up the base. And Trieze was likely fuming because the pacifists had not only gotten away, but the Gundams made it very clear that they had no interest in wanton death and destruction, contrary to what the public might think.
PR Win for the Gundam Pilots, mad scramble for OZ.
But still, it begged the question... how the HELL did Heero manage to set up this much chaos?
It baffled Duo so much that he practically accosted the teen once they were in friendly territory.
"I infiltrated the base, and after some consideration went and messed with the missile silos the day before. I also made it look like I only hacked the computers, not the missiles," said Heero as if it were nothing.
Had Duo not been so impressed and interested in getting details, he would have noticed the amusement Quatre shot in Heero's direction...or the fact that he had some subtle curves that weren't exactly hidden very well by his tank top.
Instead he was focused more on Heero's face.
"Besides, knowing Colonel Une, there's a distinct possibility she might try to hold the colonies against us in the near future. I thought it best to have...options."
"You are a god of chaos! Now we just need names for the other three!"
"Actually I prefer to think of myself as War, since you've already claimed Death," said Heero. Was that amusement in his eyes?
"What about Kit-Kat?" asked Duo. Quatre didn't seem to mind the new nickname.
"Famine," said Heero without hesitation. Quatre, who had been drinking some tea at that moment, choked.
"Why Famine?"
"Because you operate best in the desert, where famine is not only a possibility, but a high likelihood. And because I don't think the embodiment of disease or chaos would fit," said Heero.
Duo, having run that through his head, nodded in agreement.
"The man has a point," he replied.
Quatre shared a knowing look with Heero, that Duo completely missed. A light shake of the head was all Quatre needed to agree not to inform Duo that Heero was in fact a girl.
More amusing to let him find out the hard way.
In a rather convoluted series of events, Trowa is the second man to discover Heero was in fact a female. Like Quatre, he had put together several small quirks and taken a general guess that Heero Yuy, the one with the strongest Alpha Male personality, might in fact be a woman. The worst that would happen would be him getting hit, or otherwise shot at by the less-than-amused pilot of Wing.
If it hadn't been for the fact Cathy Bloom had been showing the same symptoms of irritability before he left due to running out of Midol, he never would have dared to ask.
"Heero, are you a girl?"
Rather than outright deny the accusation, Heero blinked a moment before reaching behind his back. Trowa fully expected to get shot at. Instead his fellow pilot seemed to relax and Trowa noticed a pair of distinct bulges where there wasn't before.
"Yes. For obvious reasons I prefer not to discuss it, and if you value your own health I would advise avoiding me if at all possible if my supply of medicine runs low around the full moon," said Heero succinctly.
He had to say it, if only to avoid the now awkward situation he was in.
"Like a werewolf?"
"Except instead of simply biting your head off, I have a war machine that is fully capable of turning you into paste simply by stepping on you. 04 figured it out as well, but for some reason 02 was oblivious despite the fact that the breast band I had holding them back was loosened slightly."
"Warning acknowledged," said Trowa. And really, Heero, or whatever her name was, didn't need to explain the reasoning behind hiding her gender. All the pilots had received extensive training, including torture techniques. "Is Heero your real name?"
"If I have longer hair and happen to be wearing something other than a boy's uniform, my preferred name to go by is Morgan. Otherwise you can simply address me as Heero," replied Morgan.
Trowa stirred the fire. As awkward as the talk had been, he did feel somewhat closer to the newly revealed female pilot because she had been honest with her secret.
It also explained why Heero made a point to lock the bathroom door every chance she had.
A few months after the New Edward's attack...
Colonel Une had a cruel streak in her. Some would say she was the devil incarnate.
Right now, holding the lives of the colonies over the Gundam Pilot's heads, she could care less.
So she was rather baffled by the odd missive sent by the pilot designated 01. Especially after that cryptic message from the man known as Doctor J.
The missive was just a simple text sent to every computer on her base, and most of the suits.
Three things you should know before holding the colonies hostage.
One, it's a full moon.
Two, I ran out of Tylenol this morning.
And Three, for every missile you launch, a country that supports OZ will turn into a nuclear wasteland.
"Colonel Une! New Edwards is showing signs of missile launch!" shouted one of the lackeys.
"Who gave that order?!"
"No one ma'am! Their entire computer system is being hacked remotely, and the missile bays had to be evacuated fifteen minutes before the missive was sent!"
Une couldn't believe this was happening. In retrospect, her actions were a bit hasty.
"Launch the missiles!" she practically roared.
"But ma'am!" protested the lackey, having thought it was a bluff to force the pilot's hands.
"Do it now!"
The man grit his teeth. If this was the method of an OZ soldier, then perhaps it was time to leave the service. Noin looked particularly horrified at Une's actions.
"New Edward reports missile launch! Two missiles have been activated!" shouted one man.
"Where are their targets?" demanded Noin.
"One is heading to Luxembourg..."
Une froze. Trieze's estate was in Luxembourg.
"Calculating... dear god."
"What?" said Noin, her voice more than a little frantic.
"The other missile is heading straight for the general area of the base. And all the remaining missiles in New Edwards are preparing to be launched."
This was an unmitigated disaster. If even one of those missiles hit, the fall out would be devastating. One or two colonies were considered an acceptable loss in her opinion. But nuclear fall out was a last resort measure, especially if one of those affected was Trieze. He would never forgive his estate being turned into a barren wasteland.
Une ground her teeth together. The pilot had her by the balls and they both knew it.
"Commence the self-destruct on the missiles heading to the colonies," she managed to get out.
The lackey did so without hesitation. Once the missiles were confirmed the missiles destroyed, the two launched by New Edwards exploded harmlessly in the atmosphere.
01 had ruthlessly called her bluff and countered with his own. If she ever got her hands on him, she'd strangle him without hesitation.
By that time, the pilots had managed to escape, though the fall out from her stunt would take months to get over.
Zechs did report that 01 became far more vicious after the initial missive was sent though. He had to avoid the Tallgeese until his internal injuries from being banged around in his cockpit healed over.
Wu Fei cornered Heero.
"Were you really going to launch the missiles at countries that supported OZ?"
"Of course not. I might have let the one hit Luxemburg, just to piss off Trieze for not keeping Une on a leash, but I wouldn't target innocent civilians. She made her bluff, I made a counter she would have to take seriously. The only other option would be to execute J's order and allowed Zechs to get a good look at my face before destroying Wing," said Heero flatly.
Wu Fei seemed to search Heero's eyes before silently acknowledging his resolve. After that stunt, it was doubtful they would be sent out anytime soon, which meant they had actual downtime.
Especially since the Doctors were going to be hunted ruthlessly by Une.
"What was with that text you sent before you forced her hand though?" asked Duo. That was the one thing that bugged him.
"I had a massive migraine, and I ran out of Tylenol. It's not like I could go to the store and buy some," said Heero smoothly.
Quatre and Trowa looked at Heero's sincere face, before managing to hide their laughter from the other two.
The first two lines had been more of a general warning to the other pilots that were in the know that Morgan was on her period and didn't have anything to deal with the cramps. Which only made her more vicious, as chance would have it.
The fact Zechs would have to stay out of his mobile suit until his internal injuries healed after she made a point to beat him within an inch of his life (figuratively speaking, since they were in mobile suits at the time) meant that Trowa and Quatre had been the first to get the hell out of the area before they were considered targets of her feminine wrath.
Duo and Wu Fei hadn't understood the ramifications, but had followed their example and got out of there.
Three days later...
Duo snickered as he unlocked the door. He didn't get what the big deal was with Mr. Perfect-Soldier and his habit of locking the doors if he was getting undressed. They were all guys, so where was the harm in a little prank like having one of the pilots walking in on him in the shower or on the can?
Seeing his other victim, the ever stuffy Wu Fei Chang coming down the hall, Duo cheerfully directed the Chinese teen to the room Heero was taking a shower in.
The startled yelps from both made his day. Though he did wonder which one of them had the girly-sounding shriek.
With Morgan and Wu Fei...
Wu Fei stared at "Heero" with shock and disbelief. He had not expected to see that when he walked into the bathroom.
"Heero" was quick to wrap the towel around him...er, herself.
"How did you get in here? I know I locked that door!" she said, once she got over her shock at seeing Wu Fei just as she was exiting the shower.
"The door was unlocked, and Duo said the bathroom was free," said Wu Fei mechanically. Well at least that strange text she sent Une made a lot more sense. "Did you really have a migraine?"
"No, it was just easier to explain my bad mood on a migraine. Full moons are usually the roughest time for me," said "Heero". Her eyes narrowed. "Any idea where the soon-to-be-dead American idiot is?"
She was going to unleash her full female wrath for this. She swore on it.
This was absolutely NOT how she wanted Wu Fei to find out her actual gender.
"I'll help," growled Wu Fei. It was a minor blow on his honor walking in on a woman undressed when she was vulnerable. Especially a fellow pilot.
She noticed his expression and cut off his next question.
"When I look like this, I go by Morgan, otherwise you can continue to address me as Heero."
Wu Fei nodded. He noticed the breast bands keeping her modest chest hidden (which explained how he hadn't caught it before) and the rest was easy enough to hide. He also noted that she could change her appearance...her hair shortened without the use of scissors.
"You're a mage?"
"I can do little things, but I've had no formal training," she replied. "The most I've been able to do is use it to hide my gender from the enemy."
Wu Fei nodded.
"I know a few things that my clan taught me. Consider it an apology for walking in without knocking," said Wu Fei.
"Apology accepted. Just so we're clear, it's not your honor that was damaged by this stunt, but Duo's," said Morgan.
Once they left the room, it took little time for Morgan and Wu Fei to find the doomed American pilot.
He still didn't understand the lack of any sympathy from Trowa, Quatre or the staff for what he considered a minor prank.