DISCLAIMER: so, you know I don't own the book, characters etc. If I did, I would be getting rich from real books instead of writing fan fics. All I own is the plot. Go me.
To Beatrice
No one could take away our love
Fire took away your life
Dear Reader,
I am compelled to inform you that the fan fiction that you are about to read is extremely unpleasant. From the first chapter it reveals the hardships that the Baudelaires and Quagmires go through to find out what really happened in the terrible fires that destroyed their homes. It happens to reveal the father of Kit Snicket's child and what happened to him. I would advise you to quickly click the X button at the top right corner of your screen immediately, or better yet, turn off your computer completely and go read a nice book about 3 siblings who have happy adventures with ponies. I wouldn't read this at all unless you want to learn about a decoded message, terrible fires, poison darts, and split-pea soup. You have been warned. If you are afraid of taking this horrible risk, address the instructions listed above.
It is my duty to write these tales for you, but it is not your duty to read them. If you prefer happy things, do not read this.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket