12
Hope
I gasped, instinct throwing my hands up in front of me, and suddenly, a green barrier blocked Cloud's sword from penetrating through my chest. The blade bounced against the magic shield I didn't know I could cast, though the force of his blow pushed me backwards, until I was tossed off my feet, back sliding across a hard ground. The floorboards crumbled away, dissolving into a dark fog.
The church faded, shadows eating it up.
Street lamps appeared from the dark, showing speckles of rain lightly falling from a late afternoon. The smoggy sky, brick walls, cobblestone streets, and distant towers of Midgar's reactors glowing from the cooking of Mako. We were in the streets of Midgar, the upper plate.
I recognized the street, recalling the train tracks behind me.
This is where we met.
Cloud jumped high in the dark sky, rain soaking his face as he drew his sword over his head, the blade almost touching his heels from the recoil. Hateful green eyes glared as bright as the Mako lights, baring them down on me just as he let out a battle cry.
I threw out my glowing arms, and in a panic, shouted, "Windaga!"
A powerful gust tilted Cloud from his attack, causing his sword to strike clumsily over a low brick wall behind me, cutting it away as brick toppled below over the train tracks. He growled, frustrated at missing, and was already getting up and swinging his sword again.
I threw a barrier up, and fell a step each time his sword made contact. He was pushing me back, trying to hit me at every angle as I tried to maintain the shield with a bit of struggle. The more he hit, the weaker the shield, until I was beginning to feel the blows, like punches at my sides, and I grunted to them. Which blow would be the one to stab into me? When will my barrier fall? I began to sweat as Cloud's attacks pushed me further through the wet street. Even the rain was getting through my barrier, tickling my face as I tried to avoid taking it into my mouth, picturing acid sizzling my tongue. Cloud wouldn't stop, each strike harder than the last as he threw his grunts and battle cries I grew familiar with. To be on the other side of his sword terrified me. There was no way I could defeat him, not when he was this close.
"Cloud, listen to me! You need to wake up!" I cried. When my shield dispersed, I jumped out of the way just before the blade struck my head, grazing by only an inch, a few silver hairs unlucky. I rolled, until my back settled on wet asphalt. Cloud charged, his speed too quick for me to dodge.
"This is where we met!" I cried, and hurled a thunder spell at him before he had a chance to hit me.
From the sky, lighting revealed itself, hurling at immense speed like a long blade of light, and struck Cloud. He cried, dropping his sword as his body convulsed, flashing like a glamours light show.
I quickly jumped to my feet, waiting intensely as I watched the lightning sink into the street, leaving Cloud stunned. He glared at me while reaching for his sword's handle, arms still in spasms.
"I don't care," he scoffed, throwing a hidden sword into my heart. I tried not to take it too deeply, especially when he darted, Mako flames flurrying off his shoulders. He was just barely getting started, not even using much of his Mako until now.
My fingers flared open. Unexpectedly, a glowing green sword appeared from the collection of green wisps and whispers. They coiled together, creating a handle around my fingers, and grew further, extending a glowing blade, light as air, and yet, manifested into a heavy, double-handed sword.
My eyes grew at the magic, not knowing I could do such a thing, but here I was, holding a sword made of the Planet's energy. I had no time to react, to even figure it all out, lifting my weapon up in time to block Cloud's hit. I stammered back, green wisps falling off my new, glowing sword.
I clenched my teeth, and swung it the same time Cloud threw his sword, and they clashed, hard. Sparks, Mako and green sparkles blew away from the encounter, throwing our hair back in a whirling gust.
I glared at Cloud over our sets of blades grinding together, his strength the upper hand, and he threw me back with a simple shove.
The landscape changed, and I stumbled onto a metal grid of a bridge overlooking the slums of Midgar below. This was outside the reactor, just before it exploded. I looked around when I lost trace of Cloud, too distracted by the glowing lights from the shacks far below and wind throwing up in my face.
"This is where we fell!" I shouted, spinning in circles.
A glimmer of light flashed, reflected from Cloud's sword, and I threw back my magic sword in time to block. Only a few inches stood between our faces, giving me a marvelous glimpse of the hate that boiled inside Cloud, his green cat-eyes pouring over mine without any sign of recognition.
He pushed harder, forcing me to stammer backwards against the rail. My back pressed into it, head and shoulders falling over.
"You protected me from all those Shinra troops and told me to leave, before the reactor blew up, but," I huffed, trying to collect my breath as my arms weakened, struggling to hold my sword up. I shook my head at Cloud, tears in my eyes.
"But I couldn't leave. I couldn't," I whimpered, remembering exactly how torn I've felt when I tried to decide to run or stay, reaching out to Cloud just before the Airbuster exploded.
Cloud closed his eyes, his hold weakening, and he withdrew. He laid a hand to his head, groaning through his teeth as he stammered back a step.
"Shut up!" he shouted, and Mako flames exploded away from his body, throwing me back, and causing my sword to disperse into nothing but sparkles.
I gripped the railing, my t-shirt and hair ruffling violently to the gusts of Cloud's powers, and closed my eyes tight. I wasn't going to win this fight. This was supposed to be simpler, just sorting his memories and putting him back together, a walk through the puzzle that is Cloud. But to fight him, I could hardly stand up. I breathed heavily over the rail, eyes lost to the thousands of tiny glowing halos, emitted off the many homes a mile under us. There were thoughts of this being the end, of my efforts not enough, when a soft hand touched my arm. It was an out of nowhere feeling, when I peered and gawked down at little Cloud. His large, blue eyes gave me a hopeful look as his long, blond pony-tail whooshed across his face from the Mako gust.
"Don't worry. I got your back," he told me.
Little Cloud left me perplexed when he charged, ramming straight towards corrupted Cloud, and merged with him like a ghost slipping into his body.
I straightened, watching the two become one, and Cloud grunted, like a powerful blow hit his head, dropping his sword to grasp it with both hands.
"I…I didn't want them to take you," Cloud whimpered, bending so far forward, his head halfway towards his boots.
"I didn't care that I killed them all," he growled, shaking. Hot blue flames outlined his body, simmering him in the Mako that flourished through his blood vessels. Cloud's muscles grew, the leather of his belts whining to the stress. He clenched his teeth, as though he was picturing that fight, killing those Shinra guards with monstrous force.
Hope rocked my body, waiting to see if the real Cloud would appear, my hands tight around the rail until they moistened in sweat.
But Cloud grunted, and he shook his head.
"No!" He lifted his gaze, tossing me a flash of his Mako stare. It was brief, and we locked eyes. I lost my breath, feeling the weight of his regrettable stare, the Real Cloud desperately trying to break free. He was then gone, the green eyes returning, and he scoffed at me.
"Nice try," he hissed, picking up his sword with ease.
The world, along the jungles of rails and metal, evaporated, the shadows returning to swallow it whole. I couldn't see anything, panicking for the short duration of darkness.
Cloud's shadows slithered away, leaving remnants of luminescent floors and lit up walls with control panels, screens, and lights. Tanks, bright fluorescent lights, the smell of Mako: this was Hojo's lab at Shinra's Headquarters. But why here?
I was gripping a rail to stairs leading up to a tank that could've been mine, and stepped away, my heart galloping at the sight of the familiarity of it.
"Why this place?" I asked corrupted Cloud. Of course, he didn't reply, only nearing to land his sword at my skull. I grunted, holding up my hands to summon another Barrier spell. I didn't know how long I could keep up with my magic, fatigue slowly eating me away. My face grew sweat as blows landed on my shield.
My other hand pushed into the air, and I shouted, "Blizzaga!"
A winter storm swooped into the lab, fogging up all the glass and lying ice to every hard surface. Metal counters cracked into ice, harsh snow, wind, and ice shards twisting around Cloud like a white tornado. He got sucked into it, grunting as he disappeared, the last to observe, his sword. I rushed away, thankfully unaffected by my own magic, and could do nothing but watch as ice, like daggers, spun around Cloud, over and over again, each time, leaving new cuts and stab wounds into him.
He growled, and whipped his sword through the air, to cut the twister in half and disperse it. A few cuts covered his cheeks and arms, his uniform lightly shredded.
He bent a knee, and is green eyes flashed up at me. A drop of blood slid down his cheek, almost touching the edge of his lips when he barred his teeth.
I huffed, leaning my back against a tank. Why couldn't I have unlimited magic in Cloud's world? I wiped my hands across my face to rub the sweat away, and my stomach started to hurt. It never occurred to me if there were consequences of casting magic while pregnant, wondering if it put more strain on my body than I thought before. I cupped my hard belly, taking the pause to collect myself and hope that my little grape of a child was safe.
A hand landed on my shoulder, and it shook me, gasping before I twisted my head around, and looked up at teenage Cloud.
He grinned.
"I got this!" He chirped. I blinked up at him, blushing over his delightful, young smile. Cloud's kind hand slipped away, and he twisted around to break into a run.
He charged.
Corrupted Cloud slashed his sword through the air, but he missed, teenage Cloud quicker than expected. The teenager didn't hesitate, and merged into Cloud's body, like a glimmer of light sinking into darkness.
Corrupted Cloud gasped, and leaned into his sword for balance, huffing and puffing like the marge of his younger spirit took a great deal of energy from him.
He winced, and muttered, "My head." His fingers bled into his hair, gripping his skull.
"This is…" he gasped again, pressing his sword's handle up against this forehead while grunting to the pain.
"This is where we rescued you," Cloud wheezed, lifting his eyes.
He wrestled with himself, the real Cloud trying to win, his eyes flickering from bright green to Mako. Dark swirls of shadows leaked from his back, like tentacles, and they were getting ready to coil around his neck.
Quickly, I stepped closer, and asked again, "Why this place?"
Cloud hissed through his teeth, muscles tensing. He shut his eyes, blond bangs hiding them when he ducked his head.
"This is when I knew…" he began, growling each word through his teeth.
"I knew I never wanted you out of my sight again," he revealed, and he showed me his Mako eyes.
Without wasting a second of this moment, he extended out his hand, the Cloud I know, trying to reach for me.
"Aqua, help me," he begged, struggling to stay. Tears mixed with blood on his cheeks.
Tremors pulsed through me, goosebumps back on my arms as I choked, eyes glazing.
I lifted my hand out, wishing it could extend far enough to touch his when I whispered, "I'll save you, Cloud."
My fingers blocked his face, not seeing it when he shifted, his voice giving it away.
"His soul is too corrupted. Even if you could find all his memories, what's the use if I'm still here," vicious Cloud bragged, dropping his hand.
I refused to see his face, to watch those horrible glowing green eyes, eyes like Sephiroth, glowering at me. This battle felt endless, the corrupted unbeatable.
Tears tickled my cheeks, colliding around my chin. I lowered my hand, and the scene changed.
A wave of darkness burned through the background, leaving behind the deck of the ship heading towards Costa De Sol.
The stormy evening ruffled our clothes, harsh rain, strong winds and the spray of the sea crashing over us. The ship rocked, causing me to stumble some. Lightning flashed, and Cloud held his battle stance, unaffected by the wobbling ship, his sword ready.
I opened my hand, my prayers for a sword answered, and it returned, back into my grasp.
The wet deck, the distant cranes and deck guns glowed weakly by the light of my sword as though I wielded a green lightsaber.
Thunder roared over our heads. It was strange to see just Cloud and I on the deck. It gave me obvious hints that this was all still just a memory, even though I was expecting to see Aerith and the others behind me, or Isaac limping in a corner.
Rain and wind blew my hair in one direction, and I glared at Cloud over the glow of my blade.
"Are you going to tell me why this one is so important to you?" I asked, but already knew he wouldn't answer.
Cloud jumped into the air, sword pulled over his shoulder like a baseball bat, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Like hell I will!" He shouted, a second away until I dodged his attack. Cloud's sword dented the metal deck between his boots, and he pulled it free, ready to attack again. I blocked a swing, and our swords bounced back. Now it was a race to see who could strike first, our arms lifting. Cloud too fast, he struck, and I felt a sharp, stinging pain across my biceps to my left arm. I gasped, only feeling the warmth of blood dribble down. No time to glance at my fresh wound, I lifted my sword in time to block Cloud's next hit. Again and again, always stuck on the defense when he was lashing with incredible speed, or so much force, there was no break for me to even try an attack.
It felt like cheating, using magic, but it was the only way to push Cloud back, to keep a safe distance. Far away, he was non-threatening, but up close, he had the upper hand, easily overwhelming me with his lighting speed hits, and powerful strength behind his building blows.
After another block with my main hand holding up my sword, I tried to lift my left, grunting a spell, but the pain shot through my whole arm, and I whimpered. It barely lifted, too damaged from just one hit. My eyes dropped to my arm, watching the rain wash away a small waterfall of blood, until a dark pool of wine collected at my feet. My shirt and jeans were wet from rain and stained with blood, the pain sizzling up my shoulder.
Cloud showed no mercy, and withdrew his blade only to throw another jab. I jumped away in time, his sword cutting at the flap of my shirt, almost slicing across my belly.
I landed wrong, collapsing under my wobbling bent knee, and my hands slapped across the wet deck. After collecting myself on all fours, I looked down at my fingers, trembling as blood slithered over one of my hands. Rain drops trying to dissolve it, and I watched my blood disperse as tiny swirls into the puddle.
"I can't. I'm not strong enough," I suddenly expelled, sobbing over my puddle.
Boots appeared, and I screamed, awaiting a sword to cleave my back.
A gloved hand came into view, hovering over my hands.
"Hey, it's okay."
I jolted my head up, spotting Shinra Cloud grinning down at me as rain dripped from his hair. His eyes shimmered in a passion of blue flames, taking my hand when I lent it to him, and he pulled me up before another slice cut down at my legs.
"Stop moving!" Cried corrupted Cloud.
Shinra Cloud, drenched in his blue uniform, held up his own Buster sword, and threw a hit. It was blocked, and the two Cloud's danced in a tight circle of slashing. I stepped away, watching the two fight each other. It was disturbing to know how the two were not quite alike, younger, Shinra Cloud weaker, and less skilled with the sword, but his fierce anger channeled into his hits, making each blow intense. But corrupted Cloud easily blocked or dodged the blows, and he smirked, like he was just toying with his younger self.
"Is that the best you can do?" He sneered.
"Nope!" Shinra Cloud exclaimed, and he ran straight into his enemy, his body turning translucent, outlined with a faint light.
Cloud gasped and dropped to his knees, his sword falling beside him with a loud clank.
He choked, a hand to his wet forehead, and gasping, the younger Cloud inside him as another piece. Almost whole.
I limped forward, cradling my bloody arm into my hand. Through the rain, I exclaimed at Cloud, "This is where you fought Isaac! You spared his life, and I ran for you!"
Cloud opened his mouth, silently screaming to the pain seared inside his skull. He blinked, eyes aglow at the puddles in front of him.
"You wouldn't have forgiven me," he declared, gasping it. He rose, difficult to straighten out, and he winced his eyes shut, tears squeezed out as he faced towards the stormy sky.
"I wanted to prove that I wasn't a monster!" He screamed, and lighting flashed.
My insides vibrated, knowing that Cloud was slowly waking up.
He dropped his gaze, sharing his intimate glow with me across the deck, and half smiled.
"And this is when I realized…" he looked away, cheeks turning color.
"That I was in love you."
My cheeks flushed, the warm wave crashing down my neck and over my shoulders. Every bone in my body tingled until it stopped in my chest, holed up in there where it helped my heart beat greatly.
"Cloud…" I became speechless, my hand trying to settle my thrilling heart.
"I've been thinking about it for a long time, wondering if it was just infatuation, a crush, an obstacle to our journey. But it was here, in this memory, that I was finally certain of it. Of course, I got insecure," Cloud resolved, arms crossed. He threw me a blushing look, and I smiled behind the fear. The fear if this was finally over, or if there was more Jenova in there. It felt incomplete, more to the story, but I wanted to run and open my arms to him anyway, my feet already splashing across the puddles and steel.
Unintentionally, I was running towards the dark, the last to see of the corrupted Cloud returning, smirking at me before he fell into shadow.
I gasped, and came to a halt, left unable to see anything again.
No other world, no memory sucking me in. I was left puzzled, walking again just to stay in motion, hoping to reach the next lit up destination as soon as I spot it.
Was I done? It didn't feel over. Where did Cloud go?
Behind me, light appeared. I gasped, twisting around, and found the church doors open.
"This place again," I wondered aloud, stepping back into the dark chapel like the first time. The memories warped me back here, to the beginning.
Corrupted Cloud waited for me, smiling darkly as I walked down the aisle nervously, almost like this was a private wedding of ours. Shadows were our audience, the music nothing but my footsteps creaking ever closer, each more hesitant until I stopped beside the last crooked row of pews. Cloud stood just before the beam of light, a groom waiting for the ceremony to end, and his green eyes flashed intensely, just as bright as Mako.
"This is it," he warned, his bright-green eyes emitting a green fog around his head. I just stared at him, tired. This was finally it, and yet, I felt I couldn't go on any further. I rested a hand against the edge of a pew, my other to my stomach where it twisted uncomfortably, cramps and nausea hitting me at the worst time.
"I'm tired, Cloud," I whispered, wondering if he could hear me, or even give me a moment of dreaminess to hold on to. Being inside the church without Aerith, without the real Cloud, I was alone, left to battle by myself, and I knew I was at the end of my rope. I was about to speak, to ask what made the church so special to Cloud, but he darted right in front of me, not granting my wish. Flower petals blew up, confetti in the air, and I gaped over Cloud's narrowed eyes just inches away from my face.
He swung his sword without mercy.
I threw my stronger arm up, and summoned a barrier with a weak gasp.
It muffled the blade's hit, only hitting me slightly, like a hard punch in the arm, and I cried to it anyway. The rest of the attack flew over at a few pews, cutting them in half somewhere in the dark.
The only light source spilled from the ceiling, the flower bed a weak light, my only advantage. The rest of the church fell into darkness, leaving my vision limited. Cloud knew this, and he smirked before leaping back into the shadows, becoming one with them. My eyes ran wild, unable to spot anything more than a blink of movement.
I dissolved my barrier with a wave of my hand, and curled my fingers as I would holding a sword. Light slipped from my palms, coiling together into another blade, and I held it tight. Exhaustion was trying to take hold of me, gripping at my legs when I tried to shuffle around the aisle, on high alert for Cloud to suddenly appear. It was like being in a horror movie, awaiting to look around the corner, hoping the monster or intruder wasn't waiting on the other side.
I wheezed, struggling to keep myself upright, wanting nothing more than to lie down and sleep, and yet, my heart was pounding, screaming at me that there was danger. Cloud could easily see me, waiting until he saw my back to strike. I wondered how much he was enjoying the fear, practically inhaling it with joy when I heard him breathe.
"Leave, and don't come back," his voice echoed.
I grit my teeth and spat, "No," as I waved my sword, cutting into his demanding words.
"Fine."
I tried to track his voice, but I was too slow, and I felt the winds before I knew he was coming. As quick as I could, I spun, expecting him from behind, and lifted my sword up, my injured arm blazing. Cloud hacked it out of my hands, the magic sword dissolved. I put up a barrier, and he jabbed it again and again, forcing me to stagger back towards the flower bed.
"Stop it!" I cried, trying to take a breath. My shield was weakening, each hit of his sword growing stronger until it started to hurt. I stepped into the light and squinted. Before Cloud could throw any stab at me, I threw my arms down and wrapped them around my belly, to protect it.
"Go ahead!" I wailed, crying in the exact spot where we met Aerith.
"You've done this to me before. Why don't you just do it again and get it over with?" And my knees landed in the flowers, crushing them under my jeans as I sobbed.
I looked up, afraid at what I may find.
An inch away from the beam of light, corrupted Cloud had his sword high over my head, about to drop it, but he stayed a statue. Barely in the dark, I saw his green eyes leaking.
"I…I didn't…" he began to lower his weapon. With a wave of his arm, his sword disappeared somewhere in the shadows, forgotten.
Cloud looked down at his hands, fingers touching the light while the rest of him stayed away. He questioned himself as his eyes flashed from green to blue, clenching his teeth as he fought the battle inside himself.
"I'm not a monster," he whimpered, tears falling into his palms. They sparkled like gems when he pushed his hands into the light, and he looked up, as though he was praying to the heavens.
A gloved hand touched his shoulder, and he turned his head to see who was behind him.
Another Cloud, identical, but perhaps, another memory, and he smirked.
"It's time," he demanded. Before anyone would object, he melted into corrupted Cloud's body.
Cloud inhaled sharply, mouth open, arms out wide, and he looked up to the light with fear across his green eyes.
I curled my knees into my belly, gripping my thighs closer to me as I looked up, watching Cloud slowly glow in a Mako bath. He closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of the light when he stepped into it, and slowly, he smiled. A dark shadow slipped away from his body, the corruption of Jenova, and it dissolved like black sand, blossoming into the air with a loud hiss sound, dispelled.
Cloud sucked in a deep breath, his own breath, no one else's. A breath he could take alone, and he enjoyed it, embracing the fresh air that he couldn't take in for a long time. The shadows retreated. Light cut through the paneled glass windows, spilling little rainbows across the floors. The doors brought in more glowing yellow sunshine, casting through specks of dust and white feathers that appeared out of nowhere. I opened my eyes wider to the glimmering world of Cloud's soul, regarding how it cleared up, the toxic pollution of Jenova and the damaged fragments of his troubled mind, gone.
I felt it before I realized Cloud was watching me, standing over my curled form, and I peeked through the light to notice him. Light enveloped his body, though, when he looked down at me, shadow cast on his face, leaving his hair glowing white gold. Through the light shadow of his face, his eyes brightened. I thought of the gems, tourmaline, though the blue kind, the rarest of the gem family. They carried a mixture of blues, dark and light with hints of aqua, and I got lost in them easily.
"This is where the three of us came together for the first time," Cloud began, his words soft. He lifted his blue tourmaline eyes up into the light, as though he could see Aerith up there, watching us.
"This is where I heard your first laugh. Where you unleashed your green wings to protect us from that fall, and where I've felt safest in all of Midgar," he was saying.
Finally, he lowered his head, and the Mako returned to his eyes, glimmered in that rare smile, one filled with admiration.
"I miss her," he said through the light, and a touch of sadness speckled across his gaze.
I blinked, pressing my lips together as I tried to hold in the tears.
"Me too," I whispered, and failed to stop myself from crying.
Cloud tilted his head a little, and took a knee to draw his gauntlet hand to wipe my tears away.
"Damn it, I made you cry," he warmed.
I shook, holding myself so tight like a coiled spring, but then I sprang into his arms roughly, and just wept, disturbing the flowers around us. I cried so hard, I wanted to bury into his shirt, sink through his skin and hide inside his chest where I thought I would be safest for the rest of my life. His arms held me tight, and he sighed long and relaxed, like he was finally where he wanted to be.
"It's all right. I'm here now," Cloud breathed, rubbing his fingers through my hair.
"Wow, your hair got short," he added out of the blue, the strands easily slipping over his hand.
I heaved a giggle into his chest, and bravely, pulled back as I sniffed, rubbing tears away with a fist. I surveyed the green and blue ocean around us, not realizing the church had gone. Slowly, Cloud and I were ascending, heading towards the surface, to the real world. It felt like we were underwater, a current flowing through our hair and shaking our clothes. I kept my arms tight under his, gripping to his back, and gazed up at him, unable to control my smile nor my tears.
"Let's go home now," I sniffled, my diamonds of tears following us. It was like being back in the Lifestream together, and I almost thought there was a slim chance that we never left it to begin with. Maybe what happened after was all just a dream. I never went to Junon, never had Rufus take hold of me, nor have Isaac killed. I've been asleep the whole time, and just woken up.
Cloud gazed down at me with a unique softness, holding my face in his hands, and he lowered his eyelids.
"Together this time," he added, and then he leaned in to kiss me.
My eyes closed softly, squeezing him into my arms, never wanting to let go ever again. Cloud gripped tighter, his lips soft and warm with his tongue politely behind his teeth, a kiss that could last a lifetime. Gods, this had to be a dream. I could already feel it fading, the sounds of rain taping a steel roof a distant echo. The beeping, the smell of Mako and clean chemicals. Already, the old rain was beginning to make me feel cold, and I sank deeper into Cloud, trying to keep warm, our legs twisting together. Behind my eyelids, I could detect a hint of light, but we kept our lips together, until the very last second. Soon, Cloud slipped away like fog, and I opened my eyes to try to find him.
…
I blinked, finding Cloud's face under mine, glowing dimly by the two faint light sources from the medical room. We were quiet, listening to the loud pattering of rain over the roof, and the gentle peep of his monitor. Together, we stayed frozen in this tiny bubble of ours, only our eyes moving to the blinking and searching into each other. Were we afraid to move, or perhaps still processing what had just happened? Either way, I wasn't ready to spoil the moment without so much as breathing and trying to read his fluttering eyes. My hands had been glued to his cheeks, still prompted over him like I did just before getting ready to Search him.
My arms, legs, all of me had stiffened by the amount of time that must've passed. How long has it been? I wasn't ready to find out, refusing to move my head nor my eyes away from the man I brought back with me.
Cloud's eyes then watered, growing wider, as though he finally realized he was actually awake. I couldn't tell if he was marveling the whole experience, or in distraught. More tears trickled into his pillow, until he was able to move an arm, and he brought it over his eyes to hide his upcoming flow of tears.
Quietly, Cloud Strife wept.
His chest rattled to his sharp inhales and exhales, teeth clenched as some tears slipped over his dry lips and into his mouth. Silently, I let Cloud spill it all out, lying over his chest as I savored his movements, how his chest shook me as he sobbed. A strong hand slipped fingers into my hair, telling me he was aware I was with him, but he still needed time to clear his thoughts, his emotions, all that he learned from the difficult journey we just endured. The memories were flowing, reminding Cloud of what he had forgotten, and the truth shook him. I clutched to his gown, spilling tears of my own until we silently wept together.
We were like that for a long time, just weeping softly in the dim light. I was overjoyed, with a wave of exhaustion. I took a chance and turned my head, cheek resting against Cloud's chest, and shifted my wet eyes up to the clock.
It was almost four in the morning.
I blinked back a tiredness I knew was washing over me, trying to take me as I pictured my eyes red and puffy, hair a mess as my damp dress spread over us like a thick comforter.
Sinking back into Cloud, I closed my eyes, telling myself it was only going to be for a few minutes. Wait for Cloud to collect himself, and then we could talk about it. But as I kept them closed, I began to feel heavier. The tranquility of knowing that Cloud was going to be okay, finally put my anxieties to rest.
I can finally sleep.
…
Something tickled my cheek.
It sent warm shivers down my neck, the touch only lengthening into my hair, pulling it back to bring in more light behind my eyelids. I felt warm and secure, a strong arm over my waist to lock me into this safe place. There was no desire to wake up, until I was beginning to remember where I was. There were no sounds of the pounding rain, nor the cold chill of my dampen dress, just warm arms and lips tickling the top of my head.
I blinked, fluttering awake to soft blue light on a wall, recognizing the plain, cold plastic film and the monitor. For a minute, I glossed over the numbers, seeing a heart rate up to sixty-five. My neck felt locked in, my cheek stuck resting against his chest for possibly hours. With a quick glance, the clock showed it to be almost five. I fell asleep for about an hour.
The fact echoed in my foggy skull, until it finally clicked that I had actually fallen asleep. My eyes widened, taking in more of the room, until, with a bit of physical aches, I turned my head. The other cheek rested on his chest, and I blinked into Cloud's soft eyes, now the color of lapis.
His lips lifted, and more light reflected from his gaze.
"Hi," I whispered, my voice dry. I tried clearing my throat, and tried again. "Hi there."
Cloud pulled himself upright, his back leaning against the headboard, and cradled me in his arms.
After a touch of his lips to my forehead, he whispered, "Hi."
It felt we were both nervous. His hands trembled slightly, while I shyly dodged his searching eyes, heat pulling into my cheeks. I sank my arms around his waist, sinking further into him until my chin rested on his shoulder, giving us the advantage to rest while facing each other.
With one arm tight around me, his other hand took my cheek, fingers tapping at a sensitive spot, and I winced to it while wondering why it hurt. And then it hit me just as hard as the slap that was left on my cheek.
"What happened?" Cloud asked, his voice scratchy. Of all things to start the day with, the fact that he was finally awake, and this is what he asked first?
I shook my head, smiling uncontrollably despite the dreadful explanation behind the slap mark. Instead of answering, I said, "It's a long story."
Cloud searched me carefully, his fingers trying not to press too hard. He dropped his eyes, his hand following to the low shoulder straps to my dress, and rubbed a warm thumb across my skin.
The color drained from his cheeks, and he blinked a few times, to see whether my dress was a part of his imagination or not. When it was still there, he licked his cracked lips and his eyelids calmed, lowered a little.
I knew he wanted to ask about it, but instead of throwing me questions, he brought up something that seemed more important to mention.
"Aqua," Cloud stopped short, swallowing. His hand pulled me deeper into him until there was no wiggle room, and he rammed his lips over mine, too impatient to tell me the rest of his anticipating words.
It wasn't a dream. We weren't in the lifestream or somewhere in a memory.
This was real.
The shaky part of me slowly dissolved as our kiss grew deeper, my lips pulling more of his taste and tickling his tongue with mine. It started out as a delicate act, the both of us grateful to finally be back together after such a long time. But then we grew greedy, breathing faster in between consuming each other's lips. I didn't care that mine ached, nor did I easily let that fear creep up in my throat when I lightly thought of how Cloud will react when he finds out everything. For long minutes, I let myself get sucked into our own little world, pressing against him until there was no room for either of us to take deep breaths, his arms so tight. He squeezed my shoulders until they twinged, shoved my mouth harder against his until my lips throbbed, my lungs aching with little oxygen and heart fast with too much excitement.
It was painful to let go, even just to recollect our breaths. Heads pulled back, Cloud and I breathed heavily, still gripping to each other, as though letting go meant losing each other again. When I got the chance to look into Cloud's eyes once more, they were that same hot glow of desire as I've seen them before, way back to our intimate night at Gold Saucer.
I didn't even feel the tears, having Cloud's bare fingers rubbing them away for me before I noticed.
He sighed madly over my lips, trying to regain himself from boiling with passion, and settled back down to a simmer.
"I don't know how to thank you," Cloud trembled, and he sighed, lips shaking, like the memories he regained, were still burning in his thoughts.
I shook my head gently, scarcely believing that he could move, talk, have his fingers curve and loosen on their own, and kiss me again and again. Cloud was alive, and I squeezed him until I helped him expel all of his air.
"Just try not to leave me alone again," I said, my words muffled into his gown.
Cloud chuckled as a hand took my chin, and tilted it up to make me look at him.
"I promise, I won't leave you ever again," he soothed.
I shoved him, spoiling the wonderful moment with a scowl as I sat up, peeling away from his arms.
"No! No more promises! You're going to jinx us!" I snapped, waving a finger up into his perplexed face. Cloud wrinkled his smile, caught off guard by my outburst as his eyes blinked at my finger, like it was a dagger ready to stab him.
He stammered, "Okay, okay. I'll TRY not leaving you again. How's that?" he revised, hands up to shield himself. The flames in my eyes quickly vanished, again, blaming the hormones, and a smile returned.
"That's better," I warmed, and Cloud shook his head at me while his cheeks glowed red again.
"You goof."
Those words brought affection through my blood, warming me into a hold I selfishly wanted to stay in forever, letting his arms squeeze as much as he wanted. Neither of us wanted to let go for a while, coiling and solidifying like twisted tree roots stuck to his tiny bed.
I fell back into the memories of Cloud I've explored, all the while feeling him breathe, his fingers continuously rubbing gently down my back or in my hair. Guilt swelled inside, and I had the sudden thought that I might've trekked too deep, falling into a place that needed permission to explore.
Into his shoulder, I whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"
"Stop," Cloud warned lightly, taking his face close to mine. He threw a serious stare as he added, "No more promises, and no more apologies. Okay?"
I blinked, and more tears escaped.
"Okay."
He pulled me close, pressing my head into his chest just so that I could hear his exciting heart tickle my ear. More time of contentment showered over us, Cloud left to his thoughts as he stared absently at a blank wall, while I blinked up at his monitor, trying not to get too absorbed in the numbers.
"Aqua," his tone grew heavy. "I saw her. In the Lifestream."
His grip shook a little, as though he was fighting the impulse to break apart and turn into a pile of broken glass in my lap.
I knew who he meant, and I smiled against his chest.
"How is she?" I whispered, ready to crack.
His lips landed on top of my head, relaxing.
"She's sad. The Planet is corrupted, by Sephiroth. She can't return to the Promise Land. No one can anymore. Everything is sucking into a dark void, absorbed by Sephiroth's growing strength. We have to stop him."
Cloud's tone increased, boldness taking to his voice at that last part, and he held me tighter, as though to keep me protected from the dangerous world and the perils of the Lifestream.
"She told me something else, too," he mentioned, tone lightening again.
I flicked my eyelashes across his gown, glad to be in his shadow.
"What is it?"
He chuckled, intriguing himself with the words ready to come out, and he kissed my head again.
"She asked me to take care of you."
I smiled so hard, making my eyes squint tight to push more tears onto him.
"Of course, she did," I breathed, not expecting anything selfish to ever manifest from Aerith. I relaxed, ready to fall asleep again in Cloud's arms, but the tickling of his fingers, his soft lips in my hair until he pressed his cheek to it, taking deep breaths to collect himself; it felt as though he was readying to discuss more challenging areas, another battle to face. I moved with his chest on each inhale and exhale, hiding there under his hold, but then I felt him swallow. He began with, "I could hear everyone talking to me, trying to wake me up…" and then he paused just to swallow. Cloud took his hands to my chin, and pulled my face up to his, flashing me a severe look under that Mako glow when he finished, "Including you." I stiffened, holding my breath. Feeling Cloud had more to say, inside, I panicked. Perhaps there was no long story to tell him. There was this dreadful realization that Cloud may have heard every word of my experiences in his absence. Distraction, anything to stop this talk from progressing any further, saturated my thoughts, and I gasped, pushing out of his arms too excitedly.
"Oh my Gods! Everyone will want to know you're finally awake!" I exclaimed, jumping off the bed. What made my behavior immature, was that I knew, Cloud knew I was dodging his upcoming conversation. I wasn't ready to talk about all that I've been through, not right after just grasping him from his troubled spirit.
I collected my long and damp skirt in my hands, wobbling to stand in its weight, and reached for the door. Morning sickness began to bare its fangs, and I held it in long enough to open the door.
"I need to go tell everyone!" I cried, leaving Cloud quietly keen on my sudden jump in energy. I knew he wasn't going to let it slide, but I wanted more time.
A minute later, Tifa and Barret charged into the room, followed by Red jumping on the bed. Soon, the others stumbled into the room in a sleepy frenzy, little to no sleep over their heads. Cloud got stuffed into Tifa's arms, Barret patting one of his shoulders. Red licked his face. Yuffie screeched with joy, having a hugging war with Tifa as they tugged him back and forth, leaving me smiling across the room. Cid got teary eyed, laughing as he shared his jokes, patting Cloud's back. Vincent was present, that was enough for him.
Hovering in the doorway, an elderly man in a white coat just stared, his mouth left wide open. He dropped a clipboard from his hands. It rattled on the tile floor, left for last night's nurse to pick it up when she approached.
"This is a medical miracle!" the physician exclaimed, his hands pressing into his cheeks. The nurse rubbed tears from her eyes, nodding in agreement. They stayed quiet after that, not wanting to spoil the reunion of friends back together again.
Standing next to Vincent to get away from all the rowdy commotion around Cloud, I caught his attentive stare, and tried to give him a smile before nudging his arm with my elbow.
"You did a group hug before. This is a celebration. Come on, get in there," I teased.
Vincent rolled his red eyes towards the ceiling.
"Once was enough," he grumbled, lips hidden behind his high neck collar again.
I puffed my cheeks, ready to force Vincent to join the hugs and pats, even though it looked as though Cloud was trying to crawl his way out of bed.
I laughed, Tifa trying to take strong hold of his arm to keep him in place, Yuffie on the other arm.
"How did you do it?" Vincent suddenly asked.
I sucked in a deep breath, ready to tell him the complex ways of Searching someone, and changed my mind at the last second with, "Time. He just needed time."
Vincent scoffed, detecting my lie, but didn't dig any further on it. He just shrugged it off.
For a moment, he watched everyone try to squeeze on Cloud's tiny medical bed, and I relaxed.
But then, "When are you going to tell him?"
I tensed up again and gaped up at his barely exposed smirk.
"Tell him what?" I asked, trying not to sound too nervous. I laced my fingers behind me, to stop from having them settle at my nervous belly.
Vincent closed his eyes, taking a second to decide whether to press me further or not. When he opened them again, he finally turned to look at me, his black bangs overlapping one of his eyes.
"I suppose it's not my business," he whispered, and he shook his head to himself.
"It's your body, your experience. And at a time like this, perhaps it's best to keep it hidden for now, but," he ran golden fingers at his collar, tugging it down to reveal a tiny hint of a smile.
"It may bring what our group needs," he suggested.
I squirmed in my dress, begging to slip it off just to avoid Cloud's speculated eyes falling to it on and off like a flickering light bulb in between hugs and excited discussions.
"Bring what?" I asked, amazed Vincent knew. Maybe it was obvious, or maybe it was when he felt my belly that one time he caught me from falling over from exhaustion, or the throwing up and not taking the motion sickness pills.
Either way, Vincent was aware, and I suppose it was better him than the others, the man more private than even I am.
To answer my question, a glint appeared in one of his red eyes, and he replied warmly, "Hope."
… BONUS CONTENT…
The morning was cloudy, hiding Meteor. There was a hint of it, a faint red ball of light behind the heavy clouds, but not enough for Cloud to stop and take notice. He seemed to still be absorbing everything that was at his level, as though he had just been reborn and opening up to the noisy world once more. He turned his head to every noise, flinched away from any touch. It was almost unheard of to see Cloud stumble out of the clinic in just a t-shirt and sweats, appearing more mortal than I've imagined. He opened his eyes to all of Mideel, wide to take in all the colors, even if they were covered in a glossy film of left over rain and moss. He sucked in all the vibrant smells of brunch foods, the ocean, and jungle.
I couldn't stop smiling, holding Cloud's arm to keep him steady as he tried using his legs again. He was wobbling, scowling every time he almost fell. Tifa helped, taking a hold of his other arm.
"No need to rush it, Cloud," she giggled.
Cloud hid his embarrassment in his cheeks, and grumbled to all of us next to him, "Meteor is coming. Of course, I need to rush."
Tifa and I exchanged smiles over his dropped head when he almost fell forward.
"Okay, maybe you're in a little bit of a hurry," I joked, winking at Tifa.
She winked back, a way for us to exchange a silent "thank you." It was so good to see the light in her eyes again, how her smiles hold genuine warmth.
I yawned, letting go of Cloud's arm to stretch mine, hands up to the sky. The heavy weight of my dress tried to pull me down, and I sighed.
"Before I head back, I'm going to buy new clothes," I announced.
"Same," Cloud groaned just as he pulled at his plain white t-shirt like he wanted to rip it off.
Barret dragged the Hardedge, the sword skidding agains the poorly made asphalt road.
"Damn, Cloud. How did you ever carry this thing? I can barely lift it," he whined.
Before Cloud could answer, we all stopped just before a hot spring. It was nested close to the heart of town, a community pool steaming in hot aqua liquid. A few people enjoyed its heat, sinking into the glowing pool with a low wall made of blue and white tile. Among them, one was recognizable.
He leaned back with a long sigh, eyes closed while his lanky arms laid back over the wall, black hair glossed over his forehead and beard dripping.
I gawked as I exclaimed, "Reeve?!"
Everyone turned to watch Reeve gladly let himself boil in the pool. As soon as he heard my voice, he opened one eye, and looked at all of us. The next second, he jumped up, water sloshing off his bare chest.
"Cloud?! You're awake!"
Before Cloud had a chance to run, Reeve hopped out of the spring in nothing but a wet towel around his waist, and he rushed up to the blond warrior.
"Cloud! I'm so happy you're alive!" Reeve gushed, ready to wrap his wet arms around him.
"Please don't-" Too late, Cloud exhaled a grunt when Reeve hugged him tight.
The group chuckled, and I joined them, my spirits lifting even more, all while Cloud squirmed.
"Could someone please tell me who the fuck this is?" He growled. Instead, we all just laughed.
Cloud was back.
47