Chapter 2: Old Friends

Back to Presesnt day, Charlie & friends...

Fozzie stepped out of the portable toilet. He stuck a cigar in his mouth and lit it. "Now that I've dropped that fucking piece of shit...," he said in a gruff, yet sincere voice. Moments later, Charlie and the others were in a jeep tearing through the desert outside of L.A. "Holy shit," said Fozzie, "it's pretty motherfucking hot out here." "Yeah,

tell me about it," said Doug, as he buried his head in a mountain of white gold. "I say we ditch the nigger to lighten up this load," said Eddie, glaring at Static Shock. "You piece of dog shit," said a fuming Virgil. Ring, Ring, Ring Charlie's cell phone was ringing

"LOUIS!?," Charlie said in an estatic voice.."These are some sick motherfuckers, Charlie man, help a nigga out here! They putting whipped cream in me, these sick motherfuckers! Oh shit they're back! Get the fuck away you fuckin' sons of bitches!!!...," the screams of Louis trailed off and Charlie was cut off of the phone line. "We haven't got much time," Charlie said.

Boop a joop a doop a joop a joop. The motor was dead. "No, motherfucking way!," screamed Fozzie. "You stupid, motherfucking motherfucker! You dragged us 1,000 miles into a motherfucking desert, with no motherfucking food, and no motherfucking gas no more, and no motherfucking way out! Charlie, you stupid cocksucker! What the hell we gonna do?! Huh?!," screamed Fozzie, who by now, was inches away from Charlie's face.

"Get off!, Don't lose your cool!," said Charlie in his high-pitched, feminine voice. "We'll get out..ok!? Ok?!" Doug ran over from the jeep to where Fozzie and Charlie were. "Charlie, come quick," said Doug in a panic, "it's Eddie." Eddie lay on a towel in the sound. "I just couldn't mothering make it, man. These capitalists mother....," Eddie coughed up blood and was gone. Charlie started out into the desert. "Come on guys."

Meanwhile at Louis and Jack's prision.

Louis was making grabs at the female guard. Jack made a growling noise. "What the ya mean jack!? I'm just trying to get a piece, you motherfucker!," Louis screamed loudly as he made the same spanking movement he made when him and Charlie first met Jesse in Aulstralia. "Yeah!," he screamed.

"Shut it up in there!," said the guard "you've got a real friendly new cell mate comin' in, you'll like him."

Louis was serious for a moment before he ate some cake, and Jack gulped. "That's right," said a voice from behind them. The person stepped forward. "We're in for a long haul, it seems, gentleman." He stepped forward. He had a swastica tattoed on his forehead. "This sick motherfucker killed Slater, Zack, Kelly, Jesse, and Mr. Belding."

"When's he gittin here!?," Louis frightenly said. "He's already here," the jail guard said, stepping back slightly.

The person with the swastica stepped forward and said "Hi, the name's Samuel Powers, but my friends....," he twiched violently, "but YOU can call ME Screech"

A rumble outside their cell. Thunder. The maniac's laughter filled the halls of cell block 17. Louis shat his pants.

Back in the desert....

Doug, Fozzie and Charlie, were lost. Static Shock had deserted them, finding his true love was a man named Gear, back in his home city, of Fagvillie. "What the fuck is that!!!??!?," Doug screamed loudly over a roar of a helicopter's blades. "...very expensive...."

"Oh shit! It's him!," Doug screamed, as Mr. Dink swept out of no where clawing him up in a long penis shaped glove. "Beat me, will you?," Mr. Dink said meacingly as he licked the inside of Doug's ear. "NNNOOO!!!!, SAVE ME!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!"

Mr. Dink had tied Doug to the bottom of the copter by his shoes, and it was just enough time from Charlie to sneak a throw to Doug. He passed a tracking device to him, and Doug swallowed it, and tears ran down his eyes as he was taken away, back to Bluffington.

Fozzie stumbled into the desert, dropping on his knees, the cigar falling into the sand. "FUCKERS!!!! YOU DIRTY FUCKERS!!!," he bellowed into the emptyness of the dune. "Stop," said Charlie. "We will find a way to save our friends!, we must..." his voice trailed off as he recieved a phone call. The speaker on the other end said in a heavy scottish accent, "Your flight is ready," and with that there was a dial tone.

"Let's go, we've got a plane to catch," said Charlie. "Wait a second, isn't Eddie McDown dead?," said Fozzie. Charlie glanced around for a bit, and began to try and escape Fozzie. But soon enough, they would be embracing each other.

To be continued in: Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 3