36 Jenova Synthesis
I thought I was dreaming.
It's been six long months since I've laid eyes on him.
And yet, this felt familiar, like being in a dream or reliving a past-life experience.
I craned my head over mum's shoulder to get a better look, and there he was, running towards us. His Mako eyes locked onto mine, and I knew I wouldn't be able to pull away ever again.
"Cloud?" I gasped.
It felt so unusual to say his name again, like an old taste from some forbidden fruit I took a bite of a long time ago.
There was a little kick in my stomach, and I gasped at it, hands cradling its size to calm the baby down. She must've felt my excitement, my heart only speeding up when Cloud stopped a few steps away and kept staring at me like he hadn't seen me in six months as well. Rays of the sunset turned him half gold, one eye Mako and the other golden. How did he get here? This had to be a dream. I needed to hear his voice -touch him, taste him, all of it to get a sense he was standing in front of me instead of just my hormones giving me hallucinations.
I watched this visitor who is supposed to be Cloud, his unmatched colored eyes looking me up and down to take in every detail. What was in his thoughts as his eyes laid on my ball of a belly? I wish I could hide, flushing with a mix of discomfort and warmth. The baby wouldn't stop kicking, sensing her other half nearby.
Cloud seemed lost, the two of us speechless. He took his time analyzing my home, body, and hands. There was a lift of his light blond eyebrow when he looked to my left hand, and then he just sighed, long and hard, eyes dropping to the gleaming sand.
I glanced where he might've gotten his disappointment, and didn't see anything, just long, bare fingers gripping my sweater gently.
Suddenly, Cloud spoke, but it wasn't what I thought he would say as his first words to me since we've separated.
"We have to go."
He blinked many times, cleared his throat, and lifted his delicate gaze to meet mine. The winds tossed his spiky hair in between his steamy eyes.
I forgot to breathe for a couple of seconds, and then I sucked in a much needed breath sharply.
Go? Go where?
I squinted at him, ready to shake my head.
"Go? But this is my home," I trembled. I thought I wasn't supposed to go back, yet, if Cloud was here to be my guide back to his world, I was willing to do so without hesitation. But Mum…
I was ready to spill out excuses, but none came. My mouth stayed open, sucking in the sea's fresh air.
Mum squeezed my shoulders to help me focus.
"Who's this, my dear," she asked, hiding behind my shoulder while getting a good look at Cloud. She may as well have said nothing; I couldn't hear her anyway. I kept my eyes on Cloud, afraid to look away or he might disappear again. I'm still healing from last time. Why hurt me again?
"How did you get here? I thought we couldn't cross paths again, I thought…." I began to choke, eyes prickling until Cloud blurred. One blink, and he cleared. He looked no different since the last I saw him, still in the SOLDIER uniform, though there was an awful gash of a scar along the right side of his neck. I smacked a hand to my chest when I saw it.
"What happened to you?" I gasped.
The turtleneck of his sleeveless top had been torn down to his shoulder on his bare side, goopy blood saturating that area as though it was recent. A deep, red scar burned in my eyes.
Cloud took a second to follow my gaze, and he glanced at what he could about the wound.
He shrugged.
"Nothing," he muttered and instantly grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him suddenly. I was caught off guard, not ready to leave just yet, and resisted. My feet edged towards town, whereas Cloud seemed to pull me into the sea. The town was comfortable. It was home. The sea was dark, frightening, the deep unknown.
I squinted, the sunset blinding me violently. I had to lift a hand to block its bright attack and shook my head to Cloud's demands.
"We still have to save my world," he argued.
I knew he could pull me harder, hell, he could lift me over his shoulder and carry me away by force, but he was gentle enough to tug, not even hurting. His words hurt more; they didn't make sense.
I studied his gaze to see if he was joking, but I saw no such thing on his smooth face. Did he forget?
"What are you talking about? We did save your world, remember?" I hated how it sounded like I was whining.
Cloud narrowed his eyes.
"How?" He challenged. He squeezed my wrist a little tighter.
What was he getting at? It wasn't like him to speak in a puzzling manner. I was getting ready to tell the tale of how he and I saved his world, but Mum laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, and my words became lost. I almost forgot she was there. I saw her suspicious look towards Cloud as she said, "She's staying here for her child's health. One more week, and I get to be a grandmother. Why don't you stay with us until then, young man?" She cocked her head at him.
Cloud didn't seem to listen. Instead, he studied her slowly. As his eyes swallowed every detail of her, his look darkened. His free hand clenched at his side, but it opened limply again just as fast.
What did you see, Cloud? What is there that I'm not understanding?
"What's your name, young man?" Mum asked, trying to get a word out of him.
Cloud just ignored her and looked at me.
"How did we save my world, Aqua? Tell me." He was persistent, maybe even distrusting my judgment. Did he not believe me? I opened and closed my hand, but it kept shaking in his hold. Worse, my whole body shook, and the kicking in my stomach only added the stress, making me feel like I was bouncing back and forth against the bars of a small cage, a bird demanding to be free.
Free from what?
My head began to hurt when I thought of how I helped Cloud save his world. The details were far away. A sharp pain smacked my frontal lobe every time I tried to grasp for one. My ears began to ring.
"We…" I swallowed, mouth dry. "We killed Sephiroth," I tried, though I couldn't picture it. It was just something I knew. I think.
"And that destroyed Meteor," I squeaked. Why did that sound wrong? Why couldn't I see the images?
Cloud lifted a brow.
"Then how did you get here?"
Again, what was with the questions? Shouldn't we be rejoicing, celebrating meeting again? Why interrogate me like this?
I tried to remember how I got back home, but again, the memories were fuzzy. The more I thought of the why's and how's, the more my head hurt. I rubbed at it roughly, fingers digging into my skull.
I thought I had washed up on Langisandur, Akranes' beach. Mum found me. Why did it all sound absurd?
"I…I…" I struggled to come up with a proper answer.
"I don't know...We fell in the Lifestream. I remember that...and.." I shut my eyes to help me get a better visual, but it only made my ears ring.
I felt hands squeezing at my arms. My eyes opened, and I turned to see Mum at my shoulder, her icy blue eyes cautious on Cloud. I haven't seen that kind of look on her face before. She forced a smile toward him.
"Why don't we go inside and talk? It seems you could use some refreshments-"
"Aqua, wake up! This isn't real!" Cloud screamed.
I gaped at him, a hand between my breasts to feel my heart kick like my child did.
What was he saying? How could he say that?
The fresh Icelandic air was real. I could inhale it and sigh gladly, its freshness unique. The sunset was real. I felt it hitting my face as it swooped over Cloud's shoulders, turning him into a shadow.
I felt the kicking of my baby. The taste of cold, frost in my mouth. Was he telling me none of that is real?
Mother narrowed her eyes at Cloud, adding more wrinkles to her once friendly face.
"How dare you! You come to our home, grab my daughter to take her and your child away, and then tell her this place isn't real? She's already suffered so much from being away for too long. She can't tell what is real and what isn't anymore, thanks to you and your awful place!"
I knew she meant well defending me, but this was Cloud. He would never horse around.
"Mum, I'm sure Cloud means well. He's the father of…." I stopped short. My heart stopped, too, for a second anyway, and I looked behind Cloud to watch the gentle grey waves behind him, like one must do to help keep the trail of a complex thought going or else it will become lost forever. I grasped the idea like string, easy to lose, but once I got a hold of it, there was no letting go. Mum's words went through my head like a tape recorder, replaying them all until the magic word hooked me, and I pressed, "stop."
My heart activated again and thumped hard, my throat thickening until I had to swallow to calm it.
Did I hear right?
After the possibility of Cloud being correct all along, my eyes burned at the waves behind him.
"Wait a minute…." I breathed and then looked down at my big, round belly about to pop.
Why couldn't I remember all of my doctor's appointments? How did I know the gender of the baby? Which doctor did I visit? Shouldn't I remember the ultrasound photos? The nursery-
I held my breath and blinked too many times to banish the flames of reality. My vision became hazy as I lifted my eyes and steered them towards Mum. That time, I really looked at her, and there was an uneasy, bizarre feeling. A blood stain lay on the left side of her red, plaid sweater, as though her heart was leaking. Was that there before? I blinked to adjust my vision and found no energy emitting off of her dim figure. Shouldn't she be slightly glowing in green?
No…
I blinked again and held back tears.
"I never told you who the father is," I whimpered. My lower lip wouldn't stop trembling. I knew myself that much. I would've kept his identity to myself if Cloud hadn't shown up. He was my secret and mine alone. No one would ever get that privilege, not even Mum. So, how did she know he was the father?
Mum's hands tightened their hold on my forearms, more robust than I'd like, and her narrow jaw tensed. Upon her face, her wrinkles seemed to be fading in and out. She managed to crack half a smile, but the more I saw, the more I realized with fear; that she wasn't Mum.
"You go on and on about your stories. Don't you remember telling me about him that one time you had a little too much to drink? It was months ago," she reasoned, her smile uneasy. I heard the impatience in her voice and suddenly wanted to get out of her hold as quickly as possible.
My eyes grew at her.
"I wouldn't. And you would never let me drink, not when…." I shook my head and slapped my hand over my dropped jaw.
Who the hell is this?
I managed to slip out of her grasp and dove into Cloud's arms, unable to look away at the actor playing Mum. Cloud held me tight, and together, we backed away towards the sea, away from the imposter.
She glared at us and hissed through her teeth, "You just couldn't be content with all I've done for the both of you. It's because of me; you're both alive. Because of me! My cells are a blessing, not a disease! Other planets worshipped me, thought of me as a God, a fallen angel, a mighty force from the heavens."
She pointed a sharp finger at her bloody chest and screamed, "I am your mother! I am everyone's Mother!"
Her eyes glowed red.
It was so bizarre to see Mum's features shift, how her light, blond hair became frazzled, her face hard and eyes red like she was possessed.
Cloud pulled me gently behind him.
"Stay behind me," he warned.
I clutched the back of his arm, feeling it already swell with more muscle as his body lit in Mako. It felt good to be touching him again, something I may have missed for months or hours; my foggy brain couldn't tell.
I grew even more startled as the sun's heat vanished, and my world darkened. The sky turned into a matte grey, adding a toxic look to the beach, and I was starting to believe that not only Mum wasn't real, but so was this place too.
Winds grew rough, my long hair smacking my back sharply. Waves became fierce, crashing against my legs until I was shoved into Cloud. He didn't budge, solid as a boulder.
The older woman in front of us smiled sweetly, a smile that reminded me too much of Sephiroth. One of her arms bubbled until its shirt's sleeve, and skin ripped to shreds, transforming into a long, blotchy purple tentacle. When she opened her lips, they turned plump and blue, her mouth sticky with saliva, and she smacked her lips together towards Cloud.
"You weren't supposed to be here! You're ruining everything, fool!"
Her lit red eyes then flashed brighter at us.
"I could've kept you both here in the sweet bliss of delusions, but no, you'd rather die instead," she shrilled, her ringing voice turning fruity.
Jenova?
I squeezed Cloud's heated arm.
"Cloud, what's going on?" I trembled.
My imposter Mum lowered her head, and her other arm exploded into a second long tentacle. Her body then imploded, growing like a massive beach ball with the workings of cells shifting until it tore her skin off. I could hear it ripping like paper, making me cringe. Her clothes fell in pieces, an attractive torso protruding from a round mass of boiling cells and dark blemishes.
"Jenova has been manipulating you," Cloud whispered. He managed to peel his eyes away from Jenova's transformation to look over his shoulder and gaze at me. Even behind his glowing Mako stare, he could still see me, and there was a longing look on that fighter's face.
I was confused, uncertain how Cloud could explain it until I understood enough. Did that mean all of this was just a dream?
"So, this isn't real-"
He grabbed my cheeks and mashed his lips over mine desperately. I closed my eyes, took all of him through my lips, and lost control of all thoughts in exchange. I selfishly wanted more, quickly disappointed when Cloud pulled back enough to let his words tickle my wet lips.
"I'm here," he reminded me—those two simple words resonated from all the time we've spent together. I never grew tired of hearing it. How affectionate those words matured when I dove way back to hearing them the first time in Aerith's garden that day. They stayed ever since, an inside secret between us. My eyes filled. One blink later, tears ran loose. Cloud's thumbs rubbed them away so I could look into his gleaming eyes and get lost in them.
He's here. He's real.
I bit my lower lip to stop it from trembling.
"I know," I choked.
Cloud got lost in my goopy eyes, his hands still holding my face close to his. How did he see me? As someone precious to protect? A woman he cherished, reminding him of his mother he missed dearly?
"I'm real as well," Jenova rang.
I jerked my head to see what had become of Mum's imposter and held my breath.
Cloud joined, and he released my face to grab for his sword.
This form of Jenova floated a foot off the sand. Waves seemed to crash around her, missing her entirely as she radiated with power. She had a beautiful, feminine torso with pale skin and round, perky breasts. Layers of blue muscle curled around her nipples and stretched up to her shoulders where her tentacles sprouted, laying around her neck like a long, loose scarf of coiled muscular tissue. Her face appeared white and skeletal, like a mask, but behind those eye sockets flashed red at Cloud. Massive petals of pink flesh opened around her torso like wings, curving around the rest of her form, a gigantic, round body covered in blemishes and blue veins. It looked like a floating, giant, fleshy egg cracked in the middle, and something between woman and alien was trying to break free from it. There was that deep, stab wound again; only it was blue blood spilling over her left breast. Why did that rumble a discomfort inside my stomach?
Cloud held his sword with both hands and widened his stance. More Mako flames spouted from his body; the man caught on blue fire.
"Let me take care of this," he growled.
I began to focus and shook my head immediately.
"Like hell, I will let you fight alone. One week due, one month, it doesn't matter. I'm still useful," I protested. I glanced at my belly more and wondered why the illusion brought me to this phase, of all times and places.
Cloud smacked his Mako eyes at me, ready to lecture. I met his stare and glared back. We had a stare-down for a few seconds, long enough to help him change his mind. His eyebrows lifted, and he swallowed down his argument. Instead, he muttered through his teeth, "Fine."
I smiled.
The earth shook when a tentacle whooshed close to my belly and crashed in the small space between us. Sea water and sand sprayed, painting my face before I fell back. Cloud jumped high in the dark sky, his sword the new sun, and he lifted it over his head. His soulless eyes latched onto Jenova below him, teeth twisted tightly together, and hair blowing up over his head to clear his face as he dropped towards her. Dumbstruck, I watched when the bright sword stabbed into Jenova's balloon body. She grunted, her belly bouncing into the sand. Upon withdrawal, blue blood slipped free from the fresh wound, and slithered down to spot under her like a dark shadow. Jenova hissed, and she used her tentacle to swat Cloud off her.
Minutes ago, I had the illusion that I was home, unable to see Cloud and my friends ever again, and yet, I was watching Cloud fight Jenova on my hometown's beach. I didn't know whether to be relieved or afraid that what I experienced was just a dream. Did that mean we haven't saved his world yet?
I felt stuck processing until a tentacle whipped towards me. I wobbled back a step and lifted a hand to cast Wall to block it. Jenova's strength rattled my barrier, like holding a shield when someone smacked it until its vibrations traveled into my body. Cloud hacked at a tentacle but couldn't cut it clean off, the muscle too thick. He managed to take out a chunk, but Jenova was quick, her tentacle already behind him. Cloud was bashed in the back of the head, and he fell on his hands and knees in shallow water with a cry. He coughed, face sloshed, hair dripping, and searched for his sword while blood dripped down his back.
Jenova was ready to strike again, but I managed to swat her tentacle in time with a blast of Flare. It rained tissue like pebbles, smacking in the dark water.
That only seemed to draw her attention towards me, and she snarled, red eyes brightening behind that gaunt face.
"I won't give up on you," she sighed, cocking her head at me.
"Think about it. Letting you live, you will give birth to an extraordinary being. Another Sephiroth," she tried, her voice silky. All I really heard was, "Another puppet," and swatted at her offer to disperse it like Cid's cigarette smoke.
"I'd rather die," I hissed.
Jenova's tentacle slopped in the waves. More water sprayed, drops hitting her hardened face.
"Such a waste," she muttered dryly. A breathy growl of "Ultima," slipped between her blue lips.
My heart raced, sweating heavily when I knelt next to a wounded Cloud, my knees in the cold water, and raised my hands to cast Wall. A heavy green wave came hurtling towards us from the sea like a tsunami and crashed against my magic. The earth shook upon impact, my Wall cracking and my arms being pushed down from the tremendous force. It hurt to keep at it, my arms tremulous, knees sinking deeper into the soft sands until I was waist deep in water.
"Don't worry about me!" Cloud yelled. Before I could tell him that I could handle it, he lunged around my Wall, barring his teeth, and dashed through the acidic rain of Ultima to reach Jenova. The alien laughed, taking pleasure in making me uncomfortable as more cracks spread across my Wall. I turned my head away, anticipating for it all to break and cut me like glass.
Thankfully, the threat faded when Jenova gasped. I dropped my arms heavily, splashing at the water, and turned to spot Cloud panting hard. His clothes had been damaged, holes exposing charred skin. He didn't seem to notice, too busy collecting his breath to maintain his mighty glow, Jenova's blood splattered on his sword. Beside him, another deep cut gushed blue blood at his feet. One of Jenova's large petals laid limp on the sand until a wave swept it away, a boat for a child. She sizzled, slamming her tentacles into the sea to break through waves. One of them slid through the water like a marine predator. I tried to dodge it by running farther into the waves, feeling awfully off balance. Having a large belly made me sprint into a fast penguin walk. My airway gasped to a halt, slimy tentacles wrapped around my neck tightly. I couldn't go any further as I clawed on the layers of fleshy grip with little direction, panicking. Ice traveled through the hold until the tentacle cracked loosely, releasing my neck, and I coughed while gulping for air. Collecting breaths, I looked over my shoulder and noticed that one of Jenova's tentacles had turned frozen from an ice spell Cloud cast. He then raised his sword and chopped the frozen tentacle clean off. It shattered to pieces, lying scattered like chunks of ice.
Jenova screamed, her jaw wide to cough out blood over her perfect lips.
"Stop," she whispered.
Cloud suddenly turned into a statue. He couldn't move, blink, nothing, just standing there, sword in one hand and his back wide open for attack.
"Cloud!"
I rushed towards shore to protect him, my last ditch effort with my hand out to summon a Wall around him before Jenova took advantage. Too bad she went for me instead, her tentacle extending until it coiled around my outreached arm, and then slapped around my other until both arms were wrapped. I was lifted, kicking my legs, boots dripping wet.
"Let go!" I screamed as she pulled me towards her face. I couldn't break free, my arms handcuffed by slimy, pink flesh and hung there like a prisoner in her hold while her cold breath blew over my face. I pressed my lips together and exhaled forcefully with a turn of my head, anything from sucking her toxic air, but my lungs were already burned, eyes watering. Soon, I became heavily nauseous. Jenova scoffed and dropped me without warning. I hit the wet sand hard, landing on my side, and curled there for a moment to recover, my body aching from a storming fever and chills. My insides burned, and yet I shivered, freezing. I could hardly get up, my muscles refused to obey. I felt like sludge when I tried to move and went for a slow crawl, but Jenova didn't pity. She couldn't feel anything.
I opened one eye. Her sharp tentacle hurdled towards me, a sword on a vine. Magic heated my blood, my fingers dragging across the sand as I curled hands into fists.
"Blizzaga," I grunted through my teeth, a hand raised as sand slopped down my arm.
Ice chunks sprouted from the sea like sharp knives, and all came towards Jenova at once, spears of them until she crystallized. Her tentacle paused a few feet from my face when she thought she could stab the front of my skull. I held my stomach in as I crawled backward away from the frozen threat, keeled over, and threw up. Pregnant sickness, biotoxins from Jenova, it didn't matter. I rubbed my hair back, sniffing the salty, cold air, and pushed myself up, my legs wobbly. Cloud was still frozen, a gorgeous statue standing on the beach with fierce eyes stuck in their bright blue state, hand holding his sword as though he was about to turn around sharply and perform a backward horizontal cut at Jenova.
When will he wake up?
Before Jenova could crack through my ice prison, I lifted a hand, shimmering in green, and called upon the Planet to give me its energy to create a spell.
"Thundaga," I gasped. Green sparkles released into the atmosphere, and lightning bolts came crashing down, coiling into one monstrous white bolt and striking Jenova. I could only pick up the sound of her gasp before an explosion hit the beach. The land vibrated, sand and smoke sprouting into a small mushroom of mess. Cloud's frozen state became lost in the heated gloom as I half ran, half dragged my sickening body away from the coastline towards the rocky wall.
A sharp pain manifested suddenly, making me gasp, and I paused.
Slowly, I looked down at my chest.
My late pregnant belly was no more. I grew alarmed but quickly realized that I had fallen for another illusion. Taking hold of what my stomach had become, it felt firm, a shell for something inside. My sigh of relief was short-lived when I noticed another matter.
Blood. So much of it pumped out of my chest and soaked over my left breast. Was my heart trying to break free? The pain worsened when I inhaled, unable to take much of a breath, and began to panic. It flared up my neck and into my shoulder, flames of sharp stabbing traveling along the main arteries of my heart.
When did I get hit?
I pushed against the wound to stop the bleeding, but the bright red only seemed to gush out around the edges of my hand and through my fingers. My bloody hand convulsed until I couldn't control it.
Jenova chuckled behind me. Shallowly breathing, I looked over my trembling shoulder. When the clouds of sand cleared, I found her tentacles gone, but she still floated there in one damn piece. An enormous crater had swelled under her round mass, glass and burnt fragments of flesh sizzling like a mess of a burning nest on the beach.
"Killing me won't be much help for you," she sighed. Her tongue clicked, and then she began to moan the next attack under her breath. My eyes widened, anticipating the worst of it.
"Ulti-!"
She hissed, interrupted when a massive, glowing sword rained down on her like lightning and stabbed her so forcefully that her round belly slammed down into the crater, and the earth quivered from impact. Through his teeth, Cloud growled as he pulled his sword free from the alien's body. Blue blood speckled everywhere, on his face, running down his arm, giving him a menacing appearance. His eyes were as white as his sword, his body hotly blue and thirsty to end the fight. Without wasting another second, Cloud lifted his sword with both hands, its handle hovering above his head with its deadly pointed end ready to plunge between his feet.
He mightily screamed, "Fuck you," carried through the winds when his sword dove right through Jenova as deep as his body let him. All the way through it went, nothing but the handle exposed. The alien shrieked bloody murder and landed in the sand. Her feminine body flailed, trying to tear free from her egg-sac like an insect stuck between a phase before it could get wings.
I did nothing but watch, amazed at Cloud's fighting when he lost himself in the euphoria. He jumped high in the air, the sword with him and leaving drops of blue to fall in a sprinkle. He swung around his head, arms up like he was about to toss a lasso to snatch Jenova's head.
While in midair, Cloud pulled his sword back behind his shoulder, flaming eyes stuck to his target below. He flung the blade horizontally in front of him, cutting the air, and out of nowhere, a herd of small meteors unleashed. I don't know how he did it, but there were many large, flaming boulders rocketing through the dark air towards Jenova's bloody body.
She looked up.
And screamed.
I flipped on my back, my rear hitting the sand, and watched heaps of explosions erupt. Flames engulfed the crippling alien, her horrifying screeches mixed in the sizzling of her skin and cracks of the earth while burning violently.
Behind the flames, I saw a white face melting, but her red eyes were still there. An open of a goopy mouth stretched, skin bubbling until it ruptured into nothing but boiling pus. I cringed with a swallow, hands at my neck. Cloud landed softly in a kneeling pose next to me, hands on my shoulders, and together, we watched Jenova's skeletal form defragment into ash.
"Fools. You think you've won, but I still have one puppet left. He won't fail me," our enemy warned, her voice fading until it turned into a whispering howl. She charred away, the flames gone with only a pile of ash behind. Jenova's burnt DNA scattered to the winds. There was nothing left from our battle except for craters.
It was finally over.
The pain sharpened, and I gasped before falling over.
"Aqua!"
Cloud caught me, saw the blood drip in the sand, and quickly deescalated my wheezing fit with his calm tone.
"It's all right," he said confidently.
A green orb on his sword glowed with power, and its magic sparkles swirled around my chest. Green, feathery hands handled my deep wound delicately, slipping inside like soft fingers prying it open more with a quick jolt of pain before it dulled. Cloud's careful hands laid me down on my back, and I could see it all, my world breaking apart, piece by piece. The town behind Cloud was cut into ribbons, being sucked into the dark sky. Then the beach, the waves, until…there was nothing but the two of us in a great big emptiness. It would be a pitch black world out here if it weren't for his sword.
Was this my place? The depths of my soul? Are we still in the Lifestream?
Suddenly, I remembered.
I gasped, all of my memories reoriented to where they were supposed to be, and I looked up at the shadows of Cloud's face.
"I remember now," I whispered. The trouble I've caused; hurting my friends-hurting Cloud… No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't wake up, a tiny soul trapped in a body made to destroy.
My eyes became hot until I sat up and sobbed into my hands. I inhaled in gasps and exhaled in wheezes, wetting my palms.
Cloud sighed long and hard before pulling me into his arms.
"It's okay. It was all just a dream," he whispered.
It was all just a dream. A long, agonizing dream. Well…most of it. I've seen that dream before, a long time ago. Was it a warning for this event? Or was it still a premonition? The fault of terrorizing the group took over my thoughts, making me shake in Cloud's hold. Tasting salt and blood, I rammed my teary eyes into his wet shirt.
"I tried," I whimpered. I tried to break free, but it was too hard. Now I knew what it was like to be Cloud when he lost control and cut into my jugular artery that day with his sword. I thought maybe love could've stopped him, and because he didn't, it just meant he didn't care. His passion for me wasn't enough, or he was too weak. And yet, he still had enough willpower to toss his sword to prevent any more damage, a declaration against his altered DNA.
Being controlled like that, Jenova inside my head, my body, taking over all of me, I could do nothing.
"I know," Cloud whispered, and he bowed his head over mine, forehead resting in my hair.
"I know how you feel," he added quieter.
Another thing we shared. Beautifully enough, I felt closer to Cloud, suffering as he did. I clawed into his shirt, squeezing it hard.
"Are we dead?" I squeaked.
Cloud squeezed me and answered in a fragile voice, "I don't know."
Again, with the death question. You aren't dead. Trust me, you would know, Aerith's voice giggled, echoing through the dark nothingness.
Warm light penetrated my eyelids, encouraging me to lift them and find sparkling green arms swirling around us.
I can help, you know.
Cloud must've heard her voice too, because together, we gasped, perking our heads up to try and spot our old, dear friend, but there was nothing but glowing, green arms stretching towards us from the void. I stayed in Cloud's hold, uncertain whether to be afraid or curious. Warmth spread, but I couldn't tell if it was his arms or the green light. Gently, we were safe inside a green cocoon. I closed my eyes and smelled flowers.
Aerith. I miss you so much; it hurts.
I'm glad you're okay.
"I'm glad you two are okay," a soft voice whispered. Not Aerith.
I gasped along with Cloud, our heads poking out from our tight hold, and I first saw Tifa smiling down at us, hands on her knees. Everyone was there with her, staring wide-eyed with smiles of relief.
My eyes grew, knees weak when I tried to stand, and I clumsily bumped into Cloud when he rose steadily. I almost fell over, exhausted and naked, when he caught me, his arms my shield. I wrapped my arms around myself to hide the essential body parts and flushed.
"Guys?" I squeaked.
There was Vincent; his eyes warmly brown under his headband. Yuffie sniffled, her small nose twisting. Cid sniffed too and rubbed his eyes roughly. Barret bit his lower lip. Red rubbed a paw across his face. Tifa opened her arms, and I quickly fell into them.
"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, hiding my tears in her shoulder. Her hands rested gently on my back before they decided to rub instead.
"It's okay. We forgive you," she said softly, her words soothing; for the first time, she sounded motherly.
"We're all here; that's what matters," she ended.
"How did we get here?" Cloud asked, his voice carried just behind my ear.
I felt Tifa shrug.
"Someone special told us to wait for you two here." There was a warm smile in her voice.
Cloud relaxed with a sigh through his nostrils before he asked openly, "What would we do without her?"
"We're back together!" Yuffie wailed, barging into the hug. Tifa and I giggled, Yuffie's long, skinny arms squeezing us. Giant footsteps approached, and I got crushed with Tifa and Yuffie inside Barret's stronghold.
"Don't you scare me like that! We thought you two were going to ditch us before the big fight," the big man cried.
"We're together again; let's fucking keep it that way," Cid mentioned and laid Tifa's letterman jacket over my shoulders. "For fuck's sake, put some god damn clothes on," he added.
Red rubbed his head against our legs, grinning lightly.
"I'm glad we're all okay," he purred.
"What happened to the Jenova inside Aqua?" Vincent asked directly to Cloud. I could feel his long, fine hair sneak in between me and Tifa, probably aiming to do half a hug.
Cloud may have shrugged or smirked.
"I can't explain it, but I don't think we have to worry about that anymore," was his answer.
Vincent took it with thought. "Hmmm. Do you think she's gone now?"
Cloud reflected on that question for a moment and replied, "I can't be certain. What about her cells in Sephiroth? Does that count?"
"I can't say. If we kill him completely, then it could be the end of her," Vincent answered.
"Only one way to find out," Cloud sighed tiredly.
Like Cloud, I've been cleansed; no more of Jenova's cells. It was a lonely process. I really thought I was back at home, dwelling with the idea implanted in my head that six months had indeed rolled by. I hugged Tifa tighter. Thank Gods I was here again, even if there was still one more battle.
Cloud slipped an arm around my waist to join in on the group hug.
"It isn't over yet, guys," he brought up grimly. I rolled my eyes, keeping my mouth shut.
As for everyone else, grumbles and whines were unleashed all at once toward the fierce fighter.
"Cloud, put a sock in it," Yuffie muttered.
"Way to keep the mood going, douche," Barret grumbled.
"No shit," Cid spat.
"A temporary pause was refreshing," Red groaned.
Tifa just giggled, and Vincent let out a long sigh.
"And I thought I was the pessimistic one," he growled.
The hug unfolded, and everyone, including me, scattered while carrying a bit of irritability. Cloud was left alone in the middle of the island, and his hands slapped his hips.
"What? It's the truth."
I zipped up Tifa's long jacket and joined Vincent along the edge of our piece of floating land. Together, we gazed out at the upside-down green rain, sheets of the Lifestream only a foot from my nose. My hand lifted, a finger extended to touch a few ice-cold drops as they curled up and jumped off my nail.
"I'm so sorry, Vincent. I knew you'd been hurt. I hurt a lot of you," I muttered, still brooding over the battle. Everyone seemed to get over it, but it still bothered me.
Vincent turned his head to look down at me. Upon a glimpse of his cloak, there was a torn hole in his chest. He noticed my stare, his red eyes falling to it.
"I'm okay. Cid's fault anyway, not yours," he tried, half joking possibly.
My guilt remained, nothing but flashes of the many injuries I've inflicted: Choking Tifa. Vincent impaled. Scarring Cloud's neck and casting powerful spells at my friends without batting an eyelash. I glanced at Tifa talking quietly with Barret and Cloud and couldn't help but notice the red mark on her neck.
I did that to her.
I bit my lower lip.
"Hey."
Vincent's human hand reached, a thick leather glove clutching my chin to lift and have me look into his eyes. Red eyes like a predator, but soft like a caring human being. They softened into a warm brown color, and a jolt hit me because I thought I was staring into a younger version of him, the one from the old photo.
His eyelids fell a little, and he whispered through his collar, "I still love you."
I flushed, not expecting him to say such strong words. Was it because the end was near? Was Vincent afraid this was it, and he may as well say all he has to say?
I swallowed as I took a hand over my heart. Anxiety or anticipation made it pulse hard; I couldn't tell which. His hand was still holding my chin, and I took it gently with both hands. Such unique hands, one of them a claw of gold plated fingers, cold but beautiful. The other, all protected by thick leather. I squeezed them hard and gave Vincent a blushing smile.
"Thank you, Vincent."
"Wow, just wow," Cloud muttered sarcastically, apparently eavesdropping, and crossed his arms. Vincent turned and flashed bright red eyes at him.
"Lay off," the bitter man growled. He pulled his hands to make fists at his side.
Cloud glared at Vincent.
"It's tough to just sit by when you are confessing your feelings to her."
"This may be our last chance. I won't die with bottled-up words."
Vincent's body lit in red, whereas Cloud lit in blue.
Those two began to bicker until all I heard was quacking like angry Donald Ducks were in the room, and I stepped back with my hands up.
Tifa was enjoying it, smiling even when she half-heartedly told the two men to calm down. Yuffie had an arm looped around hers, practically attached to her at the hip, and chuckled over the scene.
Cid stepped close to the edge to look out at the green rain and whistled.
"So, if anyone else falls off, will Aerith save us, too?" he asked randomly to anyone, a finger scratching his temple. Barret stood next to him to gaze out at the unknown green void.
"Want to find out?"
"Dude, if you fuckin push me off this cliff, I will kick your ass so hard, you'll be the second man to space."
"Deal."
Red's eyes grew as his head turned from Cloud to Vincent, depending on who was speaking harshly. He only had enough tolerance to toss his head back and forth for a minute before impatience came out through his choppers in a growling sigh.
"Men, I hate to intrude, but save your frustrations for Sephiroth. If there's anyone to grudge about, it's him," the intelligent creature interfered.
Vincent and Cloud pressed their lips together, jaws tense, but they sighed out the rest of their displeasure heavily, still glaring at each other.
"Right. I just need to fight my son to feel better," Vincent seethed, crossing his arms.
Cloud gave Vincent his back, grabbed for his sword's handle, eyes closed, and grumbled, "Whatever." He walked away until he hit an edge and surveyed the platforms around us. Many of them spiraled down into the depths of the Lifestream, and his blond eyebrows went up.
"That looks to be the way," he muttered.
I stood beside him to survey our downward trail, seeing the far platforms turn into dots against the green background. One look at Cloud, and he was flickering on and off in blue flames. Was he preparing for a fight, or were these leftovers from arguing with Vincent?
I poked his side playfully, something he's always hated. I don't think the young man had a tickle bone.
"Cloud, I don't think Vincent meant it romantically," I assured him. It was probably the same kind of love Reeve, and I shared. Maybe we all loved each other in that sort of way—family love.
Cloud's Mako eyes flashed off long enough to turn his head slightly to look down at me and displayed an expression he rarely gave, at least to me.
It told me to shut the hell up.
I blinked, startled that he would give me such a look, but decided to hold my tongue instead of puffing feathers. If we live through this, we'll talk about it later. Save our energy for the big fight.
Cloud looked back to our objective, a hand still clinging to his sword's handle to prepare to pull out at any time, and his eyes flashed brightly again.
"Down we go," he sighed and dropped to the next floating island. Silently, I stepped over the edge and fell, wings out to soften my fall.
After a few minutes, and Cloud had cooled down enough, I had to ask him one thing.
"Cloud, I have to ask you something," I mentioned, walking behind him. He slowed his pace to have my shoulder brush his arm, a hand still at his sword and bright eyes ahead.
"What is it?"
"It's about earlier, back in the dream, er, vision, er, fake world, whatever Jenova manifested."
Cloud looked at me over his shoulder and his eyes cleared.
"What about it?"
I recalled the exact part in my memory, making sure it was there, and took a deep breath.
"How did you know it all wasn't real? I mean, I really thought I was back at home, and for months. You could've thought you showed up in my world but at a different timeline."
Cloud kept quiet for a minute, he too, recalling the moment when he discovered we were in an illusion. During his thoughts, the group chatted, the Lifestream poured heavily, and whispers hummed like an endless dial tone. He stopped before an edge and looked down to find his next landing.
"The ring," Cloud answered softly. He smiled gently to himself. I wasn't sure what he meant until I felt his hand take my left one, and his thumb and finger fiddled with Aerith's ring.
"On that beach, you weren't wearing it. Knowing you, I knew you would never take it off. That's when I knew it all wasn't real," he clarified, gentle eyes on the dull diamond. I observed the ring closely, its tiny scratches already counted; twelve, and eyed the diamond when it seemed to sparkle at the right angle, rare for its battered state. I shifted my attention to my right arm and pulled back Tifa's jacket's sleeve to reveal Cloud's bracer, not even a scratch.
I smiled.
"I can't believe I didn't notice that," I breathed, marveling at Cloud's eye for details.
Unfortunately, his gentle look vanished, our connection lost, and he narrowed his glowing eyes to something far below. I squinted with him but saw only a mass of bright blue light with many long, black arms spread among the green world under us. The descending trail of rocky islands faded into beautiful, floating crystals of Mako, vines of black goo latched onto them like one massive tree spreading its branches to cling to the gems with tight fingers.
"What is that?" Tifa asked next to me, noticing it, too.
"Where Sephiroth is," Cloud grunted.
When we all drew closer, my breathing became shallow and fast. Whatever parts of the Lifestream escaped above, the rest of it was being slurped into scattered black branches at this level, blood vessels belonging to the core where Sephiroth hibernated. The deeper we prowled, the larger the blood vessels grew until they reminded me of the pipes pumping up the Mako into Reactors back in Midgar. Someway, somehow, Sephiroth had turned himself into a reactor, doing precisely what Shinra had done, but hogging all the energy for himself. He went one step beyond what humans thought to be the top tier of power: Money. If one becomes a God, what goes beyond that? That's why I believe the man in the black cape isn't our true enemy.
Jenova. If we destroy the puppet, will that be the end of its master?
A shiver went down my spine like eyes were rolling down my back to find a weak spot to stab. I thought it was a long, sharp fingernail hovering over my back and trailing along the curve of my hip to penetrate my belly before it grew hot.
The discomfort drew me to a gasp, and quickly, I looked over my shoulder beyond the Mako crystal island.
Branches of black vessels floated through the rain of the Lifestream, collecting pools of it into greedy mouths and taking it all in massive swallows at a time as a single pulse, alive.
No eyes, nothing else.
Usually, Cloud would notice my hesitation and ask what was wrong, but that's not always the case. He's too absorbed in the target. I only have my thoughts to tell myself that whatever I've just felt was probably not unusual. Sephiroth could be in all of the dark matter he's manifested, his eyes everywhere.
I hugged myself, wishing for more clothing while my bare feet trekked across scattered lands of nothing but glowing stones of crystallized Mako, webbed by stiff, black roots. Even those tiny arms pulsed gently, making me avoid stepping over them or else I may get sucked into the sludge. Along the soles of my feet, the crystal's surface became strangely hot and cold at once, similar to the effects of dry ice. If I stood still long enough, my feet would burn.
The echoes of cries among what was being slurped put the group into fearful silence. Nervous eyes explored what had become of the Planet's core. It may have been a turquoise crystal world once, but then it became tainted by Sephiroth's greed, his filth all over the place.
I've had a vision of this scenario before, but to be seeing it made my heart beat rapidly. There, Sephiroth lay, sleeping inside his crystal cocoon. Its branches extended for miles in all directions like an infestation, each pulsing to the sucking of the appetizer that is the Lifestream while he awaits the main course.
Cloud stopped a few yards away, his face aglow from the light emitting from Sephiroth's resting place. Quietly, his dark thoughts opened his pores for tiny vapors of Mako to escape until his whole body glimmered brightly in blue.
"I'm not ready! I'm not ready!" Yuffie wailed, about ready to backtrack and run off. Her wide eyes couldn't pull away from the human-sized crystal, nor stop the horrible sounds of screams that transversed through its vessels into Sephiroth's body. For each second he consumed the Planet's energy, he only grew more powerful, happily asleep as a well-fed infant. Then, why did his smile just widen?
I took Tifa's arm and squeezed.
"He's awake," I gasped. Tifa tensed, holding her breath.
Barret stayed mute, his jaw stuck on the floor.
Vincent's eyes grew at what had happened to his son, painful disbelief swarmed his face. Was he mortified by the idea of killing someone he made with the woman he loved? Did he see a part of Lucrecia in Sephiroth as he gazed upon the once experimented child?
Red patted closely, the hairs on his back up. He, too, had no words to describe the dark truth gleaming in his yellow cat eyes, that we all might die soon. Cid frowned and took a deep breath to settle his nerves.
"Well, who's gonna knock?" he asked any of us.
Sephiroth's bright aqua eyes opened as we woke him from a deep slumber. It seemed to cause the Lifestream to vibrate, trembling over the fearful man waking up.
We all gasped and backed away a step, except for Cloud.
He was ready. I watched him as he transformed into his highest level of Mako, his blood bubbling to its toxins and power-hungry drive. I will lose him to this fight any moment now, left to only pray that he will return after it's all over.
Cloud, please come back.
He may have felt my stare, or maybe my thoughts magically poked at him. For ten more seconds of bliss, I caught him turning his head slightly to give me one last look across cracked crystal earth, and I grasped his gaze tightly. A small bolt curled down my spine, spreading tingles when I realized it may be the last time we ever connect again. I couldn't read his eyes; too bright to even linger on, but I did just so I could hold on, even if it made my eyes water. To be the last thought going through Cloud's mind before he was to become berserk was the greatest gift before death.
Sephiroth's crystal glowed bright blue. Suddenly, it released a wave of energy, spreading as a ripple. Invisible hands grabbed my arms and legs, tugging me into the air. My wild eyes searched among the group, and everyone else was held in Sephiroth's powerful hold. Yuffie kicked her legs, trying to break free.
"I change my mind. I want to go back and stay with Reeve," the girl cried.
Barret's arms were held up, his gun arm frozen as he struggled to move it.
"God damn it! I can't move!"
Cid closed his eyes tight and clenched his teeth as he fought against the invisible forces, to no avail, stuck.
"Fuck!"
Another wave of extraordinary energy unfolded. I was pushed back like hundreds of stone fists punched me, and the wind was knocked out of my lungs. I wheezed, unable to catch enough air for a couple of breaths.
Cid shouted, "Fuuuuck," extensively through his teeth.
"He's too powerful!" Vincent grunted.
Red barred his sharp teeth, glaring at Sephiroth slowly cracking through his crystal shell. "No! We can take him!"
Cloud was silent, taking each hit of energy without injury. He seemed to be standing there, waiting while holding his light sword. But he was gone. When a third wave hurled at us with blows, Tifa screamed Cloud's name, but he didn't respond. He didn't even hear her.
I raised a weak hand to summon Wall to block the fourth wave, my other hand cradling my stomach with the instinct to protect my growing child from Sephiroth's hungry eyes. The mad man broke away from his dwelling, eyes closed and arms wide as he inhaled the fresh air of the Lifestream like it was a new day to embrace.
"Soon," he whispered to himself.
He bowed his head, long, silver hair sprawling across his armored shoulders. I could hear his perfect skin tear, and through his leather and cloak, a large, black wing sprouted. It flared and expanded until it began to snow black feathers.
"Soon, Mother," he whispered again, anticipating the end to be near. He straightened, arms out wide and black wing flexed, and another wave, more intense than the others, unleashed from his perfect body. It pulsed greatly, a wave of dark magic unfolding until it slammed into me. It felt as hot as flames. My insides scorched, making me breathe fast, sweat dripping down my back. I curled loosely into a ball, and breathing turned into gasps. Everything burned.
Red howled, "It feels like my tail is about to be ripped off!"
"I don't know if I can go on," Yuffie trembled.
Cid grunted as he struggled to move his stiff arms.
"I can't move anything!"
Tifa seemed to be withering away, hugging herself tightly with her eyes fluttering to be shut.
"I can't..." she murmured, letting Sephiroth's invisible hands take her.
"This is the true power of Sephiroth," Barret groaned, his rough chin falling into his chest.
"Guys," I gasped, fighting the dense gravity to lift a hand out to anyone. My stomach twinged like Sephiroth somehow grabbed my vital organs with a giant fist and squeezed.
"No," Cloud whispered, letting the waves pass like the wind. Each sweep did little to him except take a piece of fabric or skin. Blood leaked from the cuts along his cheek and arms as his non-human eyes remained on Sephiroth.
"No!" Cloud said again, stronger. He thrust his sword against a wave, breaking its form to have it dissolve away into ghostly black hands, and shouted through his teeth, "No! We won't give up!"
Feet in the air, Cloud darted towards Sephiroth.
"Everyone, we got this! For Aerith! For the Planet," he declared, the first brave soul to step into the fight. He may as well lead a vanguard of an army into battle with his sword raised, a fierce battle cry, and charged toward victory while enemy arrows cut into him. The greatly needed spark put a flame of confidence inside me. If Cloud was going in with battle scars already decorating his body, I must also grit my teeth and step in.
The magic words he spoke of stirred my insides with a new flame, and it shoved Sephiroth's powers back.
For Aerith.
I unraveled, muscles aching with stretch, and clasped my hands, thinking of her.
Aerith hugging me five seconds after we met. Laughing with her hands around her tense stomach. Weeping over her traumatic childhood. Poking at me with a coy smile. Gasping with disturbed excitement over my drama. Keeping the hard truths to herself with a drifted gaze of her eyes. Tugging at Cloud's arm to drag him into something he didn't want to do, her big, puppy eyes in the works. That broken smile.
Aerith.
Tears stroke my cheeks. I sniffed, rubbing a thumb over my eyes to dry them.
Sephiroth took you away from me. He killed you in cold blood. It should be one of the worst crimes ever to commit, taking the life of an angel.
Inside my chest, arousal of heat manifested. Cells cooked, the magic rippling in my blood to travel through tissue and spread out among the far reaches of my fingers and toes. I looked at my hands; my fingertips were bright green and electrifying, my palms hot.
My hair lifted, tickling my neck and cheeks, bare legs glowing. More light seeped through the tiny gaps of Tifa's coat's zipper line and sleeves.
I gasped at the inner heat and closed my eyes while getting used to it.
Cloud's courage spread through the group, and Yuffie was the first to raise her hand, her Conformer high in the air.
"Yeah! We can do this! For my family! For the Planet! For Aerith," the ninja cheered, and she joined with a bright smile, hand ready to swing her weapon.
Cid opened his eyes, pain replaced with anger, and swung his Venus Gospel to dispel Sephiroth's invisible grip.
"For fuck's sake! This is it! Give him all you got, people," he shouted. He followed behind Yuffie.
Tifa coiled into a tight ball, gritting her teeth and wincing to the pain as she fought against it. She pushed her arms and legs out, spreading like a starfish, and broke from all restraints. Her fists lit in red flames to match her eyes when she opened them darkly on Sephiroth.
"For Aerith," she echoed and leaped into battle.
Red exposed his sharp teeth and growled, narrow eyes at our enemy.
"I won't let my grandfather or Aerith down. They're with us now," he cried, fur glimmering in red light. Claws cut through the dark waves, breaking them apart to free him from his temporary prison. He landed on his four feet and immediately sprinted into battle.
"For Aerith! For Marlene! The whole damn Planet," Barret rattled. He fought to move his limbs, his gun arm trembling with effort. His eyes closed, teeth together, and he growled, "I won't let my little girl die!" That was enough reason to break through the energy waves, and his gun arm wiggled free.
Barret grinned.
"Hell yeah! I'm ready!" He smacked his chest loudly and lifted his heavy gun arm to aim at Sephiroth, its barrel charging with flickering purple light.
Vincent opened his bright red eyes and hissed through his teeth, "I want to end what's been haunting me. To be free." He opened his arms to unleash enough strength to break from Sephiroth's chains, and sharp fangs flashed behind his lips, his body glowing red.
With a pull of his revolving rifle from under his cloak, Vincent held it up, barrel to the sky. His black hair lifted with his cloak, and he glanced at me until we shared a look.
I'd like to think he smiled.
"To be free to try living again," he hinted.
I grinned.
"You have thirty years to make up for. Party hard," I joked. I could imagine Vincent at a frat house party, a lampshade over his head, and drunk off cheap beer. I made a face. Maybe not that kind of party.
Vincent chuckled and pulled down his collar to show me the rare smile upon his pale lips.
"Don't be afraid to ask for help," were his last words of advice before jumping in, rifle loaded and ready. The end of his cloak took one tickle off my leg before fluttering away.
My fists shook, and more energy flared off my skin until I was a green version of Cloud. Sparkling green arms stretched from my shoulders, cutting away at the dark chains around me, and with my arms out wide, I broke free.
I had no last words to declare. They stayed inside, pulsing the magic to grow until I felt ready to join.
For Aerith.