Chapter 9: Breakdown
Louis opened the doors to the cafeteria, now clear of all tables. He cracked his knuckles, clad in red sweat pants, a red track jacket, red Chuck's, and a red sweat band, Louis was feeling confident. Goofy stood at the opposite wall, he wore a lime-green leotard, leaving nothing to the imagination. Butta' approached Louis, a boombox resting on his shoulder, "Ready Lou?" Louis smiled, "Let's do it."
There was utter silence, everyone cleared the floor as Goofy and Louis approched each other. They came face to face, and there was a pause. "You ready you punk-ass busta'?" Goofy said, spit hitting Louis' face. "Let's go, bitch!" Louis replied, wiping the saliva off his face onto Goofy's.
Butta' laid down the boombox and hit 'Play', a classic hip-hop song started playing, one Louis was very familiar with: "Rapper's Delight" Louis was first. Louis' arms moved in a precise manner, matching each "hip" and "boogie" perfectly. Then he jumped in the air landing in a split, pulling himslef up by his own collar. He stood up and pointed to Goofy.
Goofy snapped his finger, his legs seemed to go limp. In a matter of seconds Goofy was on his hands spinning his seemingly boneless legs about, he was like a top or dradle or something. He slowed down, and now lying in a position with his arm supporitng his head, he pointed to Louis.
Things were getting heated now. Louis bent his legs, and pulled a Charlie-Brown, followed by a 360 crotch-grab-pivot-plevic-thrust!!. He stopped spinning and whilst holding onto his sausage he let out a high-pitched screech, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He pointed to Goofy.
Goofy put his arms behind his back, and began to walk like a chicken. He then spun and grabbed a chair, he began dancing with it. Dirty Dancing. It seemed as though he had made love to the chair, or at least raped it. Finally, he turned around and smacked his ass, then pointed to Louis.
Louis was pulling out all the stops, first he started with a mild robot, followed by a ferocious worm. But this move.... Goofy saw what Louis was preparing to do, that move couldn't be countered, it was almost considered taboo. Goofy had to stop Louis. Goofy decided to use his ultimatum: Began spinning on his head, with NO CARDBOARD, there was a large gasp in the crowd, even Louis stopped. The faster Goofy spun the more Louis hurt, until Goofy came to a sudden stop. Louis paused, "What the!?" Louis' body began to bruise, "AHHH!!" With the force of a rabid prairie dog in heat, Louis flew back, hitting the wall, cracking it.
Louis coughed up blood, "What was that " more blood was expelled. "Aww shit man, shit"
Goofy himself had suffered the effect of the move, he was feeling dizzy. What Goofy had done, was something never seen before. How could you headspin without cardboard!!!? Louis looked up at the ceiling, "Dammit, I thought I could man" A new figure emerged through the door. It was Jackie! "JACK!" Louis yelled, "JACK!!!!" Louis had a new grown strength, he stood up and turned, "This one's for you Jack."
Louis walked towards Goofy, "It's over mutt-fuck." Goofy laughed, "You can't do anything now, my Cardboardless Headspin is unbeatable." Louis grinned, "I don't think so."
Louis stood back, "Goofy, I am...the lord...of...THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!!!" As Louis yelled a green dance aura encircled him. Louis' feet were moving at super sonic speeds, but his upper-body stayed mysteriously still. Goofy stood mesmerized, "N...n...NO, THE RIVERDANCE!!!" Louis paused, "Damn straight" The dance overtook Goofy, ripping his muscular body to shreds, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
In a flash of light it was over, Louis stood wheezing for air in front of the massive crater he'd created. He looked down and saw that his pants had been burned off, "I did Jack, this prison....is mine!!!" Winslow sighed, "Louis, Louis, Louis. When will you learn your place?" Louis looked around 20 guards surronuded each exit. Winslow yelled, "Get him!"
To Be Continued In Kangaroo Jack 2, Chapter 10.