Once in a eternity

(By: Chic Freak)

Summary: Sha're, her thoughts during Forever In A Day.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters belong to MGM/UA, Showtime/Viacom, SCI-FI Channel, Gekko, Double Secret Productions etc. and all the powers that be, not me. No copyright infringement intended. This story is written for fan entertainment only and no money has exchanged hands. The story is the property of the author and may not be posted anywhere without the authors consent.

Every day i fight her. Amounet. The demon who stole my life...and every day i win back a little bit more of myself. Because though she stole my body, she can never have my soul.

I miss him. My husband Dan'el.
I think about our first meeting on Abydos, under the suns of Ra. How he stood out. Right from the beginning he was different than the others who came with him. He was not a warrior like them. As we see him struggle to handle the weapon of thunder, it is clear to me that he hasn't changed. Amounet doesnt take notice, but i do.

As im standing here i see him...and so does she. I see the surprise and what may be be a shadow of hope in his eyes. I try to cry out.

"Don't Dan'el! Don't come for me!"

But she would never allow it so of course he doesn't hear me. The jaffa beside us falls dead to the ground and we move inside, just her and me. I know she wonders where her God Apophis is. I wonder where Dan'el is. If he's running towards the tent to save me. I hope not, she would kill him and i would have to be the silent witness to her crime. But in my heart, i know the truth. I know my Dan'el.

How i fear that our love will lead him to destruction.

I see him rush in with a weapon he will never use. Amounet is smiling, she feels so superiour. Ive witnessed enough to know that her arrogance will be her downfall. Her's and all the others. He is asking for the boy, my son. Now my hand is rising and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

"Don't!" He yells.

Oh Dan'el...if you only knew first hand what evil had possessed me, you would not hesitate.

I can feel him fight her. My Dan'el is strong. I feel her surprise at this. Then he falls to the ground and drops the weapon.

I wonder what my father is thinking. I know he saw me...or her...us. I haven't seen him for so long, not for real. I am lost to him, so is Skaara and now his grandchild is too. On the inside i weep for my father and the pain life has brought upon him. I know where my precious child is, but i cant tell my Dan'el. Here in my sanctuary i guard the secret, only I know. I dont know if she knows of my exsistance. I hope she doesn't but every now and again i feel her knocking on the door. I feel her trying to get in. But im safe. She can never go here.

Once in a eternity i get to see into his eyes. And eventhough they are filled with pain im grateful. I let myself get lost in them and for a moment its like he knows its me he's looking at, and not Amounet. But so does she. As he blinks, she pulls me from the safety of the blue haven i've found. But it gives me hope, for a second she lost control, like she did right after we gave birth. I saw my Dan'el and his friends hiding in the shadows. So did she, but i was in control. And in those moments, no matter how short they lasted, i didnt feel completely helpless. I felt hope. That was a turning point. I know i can do it again if i use all of my strength. Now is the time. I know this will hurt him, but i have to do it. There is no other way.

While Amounet is distracted i sneak in between enemy lines. I need to let him know, there are so many things i have to tell him. Everything he did, every word he said, every moment we spend in each others arms, i treasure. Those are the memories that makes me strong. Now its time to create some memories of my own.

He is so confused when i come into view. But i cant stay, nomatter how much i wished i could. If i stay too long, she will catch me.

"You have to find the boy", i tell him.

He doesnt understand and i feel Amounet drawing near. Before i know it im back in my sanctuary. I sneak out again. Gives him subtle hints as not to alert Amounet of what im doing. I end in the sanctuary a couple more times and i can feel that time is running out. That the end i near. I gather all my strength for one last try. Back to the tent, back to the tent Dan'el. In the tent im strong. I sense him at last.

"You are finally here".

"Yes", he says, nolonger surprised of my presence.

"You are the only one who can save the boy Dan'el", i tell him.

He stares at me, understanding spreading across his face.

"He is a harsessis, he contains all their knowledge".

He finally gets it.

"Amaunet only took the Abydonians as a show, so that Heru'ur wouldnt know her true goal."

"To take the boy?".

I nod, concentrating hard on staying in control. Just a little more time.

"She has sent him into hiding with her closest aid."

"Where?", he ask just as Amounet arrives. No! I need more time. I struggle for control, finally regains it.

"Kheb", i manage to get out. He is skeptical. Now is not the time to argue Dan'el. Kheb is very real. My son is there, save him.

"Promise me you will save the child", i beg of him.

"I promise."

I kiss him and then reality comes swirling back with a force that knocks me of my feet. I notice a dark figure to my right as i fall. It is Teal'c with a raised staff weapon. Sadness in his eyes. In my heart i bless his courage. The pain is not too bad. I feel Amounet drawing her final breath through my lips as Dan'el falls next to me. He is alive and im finally free.

I reflect. I was a prisoner in my own body. I was fighting a war i didnt choose to fight. But i regret nothing.

"I love you my Dan'el."

I close my eyes and the last thing i feel is my Dan'el carressing my face.

"I love you too".

THE END