Sorry to take so long, sort of have a lot on my plate this week...

Amber- finally the part I have foreshadowed to death.

Little Lotte- "Sing once again with me" one of the many things I am freaking out over this weekend.

Chapter 22

Could she take any longer? Every moment I wait for to return, the butterflies in my stomach grow even more restless. What if she confirms my worst fears? What if I am? How can I survive? What if history repeats itself? What will Erik do?

Roxanne finally entered the room, a sweet smile upon her face. She took a seat next to me, in her makeshift office, taking one of my hands in hers.

"Dear, you are." She said joyfully.

How my heart sank. I have never recalled such sorrow as that moment.

I know she can see the disappointment in my eyes, and couldn't understand as to why.

"Your married, are you not?" She asked.

"Engaged."

"But your committed to just one man?"

"Of course. I'm not like the other whores in this place." I commented coldly.

"Do you love him?"

"With all my heart."

"I don't understand. How is it you are unhappy about this? Your of the age, you seem to be happily settled, why don't you welcome this?"

"I'm afraid." I whimpered out, the impact of this slowly hitting me.

"Of what? You will make a wonderful moth-"

"I'm afraid of dieing, of leaving them. I don't what Erik going through the same thing my father had to do, I can't leave him alone in this world, to care for a ... a..." I cut her off, but couldn't finish my words.

If I spoke it out loud, it would make it true, but if I kept the idea in my mind, never to speak of it, it won't be true. It can't be true, I won't let it.

Tears began to swell in my eyes.

"Your mother... Did she die in childbirth?" Slowly, I nodded my head, keeping my gaze on the floor.

"What happened to her, it won't happen to you. I will make sure of it." She promised, trying to comfort me. I finally looked up into her welcoming, green eyes.

"I promise." She vowed, a small smile of comfort spread across my face.

"But..."

"Your going to be find, go tell the father the good news." She practically pushed me out the room.

My body longed to be next to Erik's, I wanted to bury my face into his chest, cry into him, have him comfort me, but I can't do that. I can't bring myself to go home. I can't face him. I can't tell him.

I wandered around the opera house, going any were but the cellars, till I was stopped when a large hand fell upon my shoulder. I turned to find a tall, well built man standing behind me. I couldn't see the majority his face, for his long, black hair hung in front of it, as well as some of it was hidden in the shadows, but of what I could see he looked handsome, a large, hooked nose poked out of the darkness, it's pale colour standing out.

"Excuse me, Mademoiselle, but could you please hell me, I seem to have gotten lost." He supported a large, friendly smile.

"Of course, where are you going?" I returned in the same amicable nature, despite my heart's hurt.

"I am looking for a Mademoiselle Roxanne." I directed the strange, mysterious man back to her office. When Roxanne saw the man behind me, she seemed to run at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately.

Glad to see she had someone, But would rather not like to see a pair of lovers, not today.

I continued back on my wandering, till I can across Meg.

"I was just going to go see you!" She exclaimed, locking her arm with mine.

"What do you think about coming with me to the Rue?" She asked.

Great, an excuse to not return home.

"Sure." I plastered a fake smile on my face, I can't let her know what was wrong.

We walked along together, she was talking about some useless gossip, but I wasn't paying attention, my mind was else were. My eyes travel from store window, to store window, looking past the merchandise, until we came upon this one shop.

Before my eyes the most angelic wedding gown I have seen hung. The simple glass wall separated me from what must have been what heaven looks like. I have never seen anything as brilliant white as the silk in that gown. Regal gold stitching ran along the hem, in shape of roses. The same rose pattern appeared on the lace that covered the corset. The dress exposed both shoulders, giving it a simple elegance.

"It's so beautiful!" I couldn't help but stare at it like a blinded doe.

"Do you have a dress yet?" Meg joined in on my stares. We must have looked like two little kids pressing their noses to the glass of a candy shop.

"No, not yet." I took one more longing glance at the window, and turned away.

I hadn't thought about our wedding, till now. How can we get married in September? With what just happened?

"Why not that one? It would look wonderful on you, Erik would surely like it, rather revealing." Meg teased. I rolled my eyes, but knew she was right, well, at least that Erik would like it, no garment no matter how beautiful could change my appearance.

She tried to push me into the store, but I refused.

"I could never squeeze myself into something that tiny." I pointed to the narrow waist of the perfect gown.

"Not to mention I could never afford it."

"Your not some old maid! Your a ballerina! You probably have the smallest waist line of as all, are you blind?"

She isn't right, but I won't argue with her, I'm not in the mood.

"I still can't afford it." I said plainly, walking away from the window.

Meg continued behind me, chatting on, but once again my mind drifted elsewhere.

How am I going to tell Erik? Will he be happy? Of course he will, he wants this. He he knew? What if it happens?

Just ahead of us, a small stand seemed to be buzzing with excitement. Curious with what they could be selling, Meg and I walked over.

An old, wrinkled women stood in the middle of the group, a small girl beside her, clinging to the womens skirt.

"Cure all facial discolouring! From birth marks to age spots!" The women called out, picking up a jar from one of the tables at her stand. The little girl stepped forward, pulling her long, deep brown hair away from her face, revealing a deep, red birthmark, That consumed more than half her face. The women removed the flesh toned wax that was in the jar, after heating it up by dipping it in a boiling pot of water, and gentle applied a thin layer of it to the child's face. She the thin layer of the wax, acted like a mask, covering the child's mark, making her look like any other normal little girl. The older women who had flocked to the stand in curiosity, gasped at the child's transformation, and began to buy the wax, to cover there own flaws.

An idea struck me, looking down at the girls face, how innocent, and excepting she looked. I joined in with the old women, buying my own jar of the wax. Causally I slipped the jar into my cloak, looking over at Meg, who had an eye brow raised at my purchase.

"Erik?" She questioned.

What is it with my family, well, soon to be family knowing me too well? How will I be able to keep this secret from them If they all came just read my thought?

I glanced back towards the Opera House, a smile spreading across my face.

"Maybe I can help him out of his darkness."