TITLE: Late Night Confessions

RATING: T/PG

PAIR: L/J

YEAR: 7th

AUTHOR: Destiny

SUMMARY: During one night of too much drinking, James accidentally reveals something about himself to Lily that he didn't want her to know.

DICLAIMER: I don't own any Harry Potter characters, and wouldn't it be a little pathetic to sue me? Think about it...you have nothing to gain.

P.O.V.–Lily's

zZzZzZz

"So would you like to hang out this weekend?" Mark asked me, smiling sweetly.

I glanced over to where a furious James Potter stood.

"Um." I weighed the options in my mind. "I already made plans with someone else," I lied. "I'm sorry."

"Alright, well maybe I'll see you around," Mark said.

"Okay," I said as he walked away.

I glanced back over at James, or rather where James was. He seemed to have vanished.

I sighed and walked slowly up to the castle. The truth was I didn't have plans this weekend. I was hoping to have plans with a certain someone, but he doesn't seem to be around.

Yes, I admit it, I've developed a crush on the Head Boy–James Potter. But lately, he's stopped asking me out as much, flirting non–stop, and all the regular things he does. It's weird for him.

I went to the Head's Dorm, which was located behind a bookshelf in the Gryffindor Common Room, looking for him. I looked around the Common Room and called up to his dorm, but to no avail.

I pulled out my Transfiguration essay and stated working on it, figuring that James will be back soon and I can talk to him then.

I have no idea what I want to talk to him about or what I'll say to him, all I know is I just want to talk to him. Maybe tell him how I feel... maybe.

I worked on my essay until dinner with still no sign of James. He'll be down at dinner.

I know he will. He is a guy after all right?

"Hey Lizzy," I greeted my friend as I sat down across from her.

"Hey Lily," she said.

"Have you seen James?" I asked her as I piled my plate with food.

"Not since earlier. Why?" Lizzy asked.

"I was just wondering," I said.

"You gonna ask him out?" Lizzy teased.

Lizzy is the only person who knows about my crush on James.

"No," I said. "I was just wondering if you'd seen him because I haven't seen him since earlier and we have patrolling tonight."

"Whatever you say," Lizzy said as I began to eat.

After dinner I checked the Gryffindor Common Room for James and then went to patrol by myself. Well, I was by myself until I found a 6th year, Lynn, who offered to fill in for James.

"He's not feeling very well right now," I told her as an excuse.

"Oh," she said. "I heard there's something going around. It's not major, I don't think, probably just a little cold."

"Yes, I think you're right," I said. "That's probably what he caught."

"Yeah," she said, "Well I hope he gets better."

"Me too," I said. "And thank you for filling in for him."

"Oh, no problem," Lynn said.

"I'll be sure to tell him what you did. I'm sure you'll get some chocolates or something," I said, knowing that's the exact thing James would do.

"Alright, see you later," she said.

"Bye." She walked back to her House.

I went back to the Head's Dorm to tell James he owed Lynn. And if he's not there, I... don't know, I haven't figured it out yet...

"Mango," I told the Fat Lady.

"Right you are dear," the Fat Lady said and swung open.

I walked over to the bookshelf that lead to the Head's Dorm.

"Apple cobbler," I said and it slid open to let me in.

"James?" I called as I entered the room.

No answer.

"James!" Now I'm annoyed.

"Are you here?" I called. "Dammit!"

Where could he be?

This is ridiculous.

I walked back through the bookshelf to Gryffindor's Common Room.

I looked around and all I saw were a few 5th years finishing Astronomy homework.

I am most definitely annoyed. No, I'm past annoyed, I'm peeved.

"Dammit James!" I muttered angrily to myself.

There could only be one other place he's be at this hour–the 7th year Boy's Dorm.

I cannot believe I am about to do this.

I took a deep breath and started to climb the stairs. I reached the door that was marked "The Marauder's Lair" (James' and Sirius' idea no doubt) and knocked lightly. I moved my head close to the door and listened for any sounds, but there were none.

Slowly, I turned the door knob and opened the door ever so carefully. I stuck my head in the room but saw no one.

I rolled my eyes. Partly from being annoyed and partly from seeing how the boys kept their room.

Clothes were thrown everywhere and I'm almost positive I saw food on their floor.

It was disgusting.

No.

It was BEYOND disgusting.

I closed the door and went back down the stairs, even more peeved.

When I find James, I am going to yell at him so much. I mean, a prefect abandoning their duties is bad, but not as bad as a Head abandoning their duties.

I am just going to wait by the fire until he comes back. He's probably with his friends.

zZzZzZz

Remus, Sirius, and Peter walked in somewhere around 12:30 or 1 a.m. James didn't stumble in until about an hour later. He really did stumble too.

"James?" I said.

He looked up and tried to walk to a chair. He got there but fell down into it.

It's obvious that he's drunk.

"Where the hell have you been!"

"You should know Moony," James mumbled.

Moony?

Isn't that what he calls Remus?

Oh! He thinks I'm Remus.

He thinks I look like a guy when he's drunk? Should I be insulted?

"Um, where was that? I can't remember," I said, sitting in the chair across from him.

"The pub," he mumbled, briefly looking up.

"Why?"

I am completely lost.

"Usual."

He does this often? Going to a pub and getting drunk until he can't walk?

"Right," I said, still lost.

He noticed my confused face. "Lily," he whispered as if other people might hear.

I held in a gasp.

Me?

How did I drive James to drink?

"You often go to pubs and drink because of her?"

"Stupid question," he slurred.

That's a yes.

"Why James?"

He shrugged. "I lover her Moony," he said simply.

This time I did gasp.

They say the truth often comes out when you're drunk. I think I believe that now.

James' eyes got wide and, like a deer in the headlights, he froze. He'd just realized that I was not Moony and something about his look makes me think he didn't want me to know he often get drunk and goes to bars because of me.

"Lily?" his voice broke.

I'm pretty sure he was hoping he was wrong in guessing who it was.

"Yes?" I said softly.

I could almost see him mentally slap himself.

He tried to stand up, but fell. I went to help him up but he didn't want it.

"Leave me alone," he moaned.

"James..."

"Just go. I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be hearing 10 different stories on how James Potter got drunk over Lily Evans," he spit out.

"Why would I tell people this?"

"I'm sure you're looking for any excuse to make me look pathetic and make me leave you alone."

Is that really what he thinks of me?

He really thinks that I'd sink that low?

"James, why would I do that to my friend?"

"I'm your friend?"

"Yeah and–"

"–Nothing more, I get it," he said dejectedly.

"–and since you're my friend, tomorrow, I will yell at you. But tonight, we need to get you to bed."

I helped him stand and put his arm around my neck and we started up the stairs.

"Lily," James said when we were half way to the guys' dorm. "You smell nice."

"Thanks," I said softly.

I opened the door and helped James inside. The rest of the boys were sound asleep and there were still clothes thrown on the floor.

I helped James over to his and released him.

"'Night James," I said, heading toward the door.

"'Night babe," he mumbled.

I closed the door behind me when I left.

zZzZzZz

The next morning, I walked back up the stairs to see if he's okay. I knocked on the door.

"He doesn't want to see you," Sirius said, when he opened the door partially.

"Why not?" I asked, slightly confused.

"He's afraid that he said or did something stupid to you," Sirius said.

"Just please let me see him," I pleaded.

He sighed. "Fine." He opened the door fully and let me in.

I looked around at James' friends. "Do you guys think I can talk to James for a minute in private?"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but Remus pulled him by the collar out of the room with Peter following.

"James?" I asked as I pulled open his curtains.

"Lily?" He sat up on his bed.

"Hi," I said softly, sitting on his bed as well.

"Lily, last night, I don't remember much. I didn't do anything to you...did I?" he asked.

"No James, you didn't."

"Did I tell you... anything?"

I scooted so that I sat right next to James. "Like what James?"

He sighed. "Um... I don't know...like that...I sneak off every Wednesday just to plan pranks."

I laughed. "No, you didn't tell me anything like that."

"Did you tell me anything? At all?"

"Yeah," I said.

He looked at me expecting me to go on.

"You...told me that going to pubs and getting drunk was a regular thing. And that the reason you go...is me."

He exhaled sharply and leaned his head against the head board, closing his eyes.

"James..."I placed my hand on his thigh. He looked at my hand and then up at me.

"How many other times have you gone to the bar?" I asked him.

"Maybe 10," came his soft reply.

"Where they all because of me?"

He shook his head 'no'.

I felt relief through my body.

"One time I was having a fight with my mum and dad."

"The rest were me?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Sometimes I just...I don't know...I guess, I needed to drown my sorrows...And I know it's pathetic...the bartender knows my name and my reason for being there."

Suddenly, something clicked in his head because he sat up quickly, his face very close to mine.

"Did you tell anyone?"

I smiled. "Funny, that's what you were worried about last night too," I said. "And no, I didn't tell."

"Thank you."

We sat there in a comfortable silence.

"Lily," he said. His face seemed to be getting closer.

"Hm?"

"How do you feel about all this?"

I closed the gap between our faces.

Destiny

Okay, so this was the first one-shot to take me longer than one day to finish and I think it turned out okay how about you?

Still working on the other stories...I keep changing ideas.

Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes, Bee isn't Beta reading for me anymore and I'm trying to decide if I really want one.